Singles Forum

419 topics in this forum

P

I have been dating for awhile now and I have met a wonderful man and fallen in love with him. He is kind and affectionate and compliments me constantly on my beauty and sexiness etc. he doesn't seem to care about the little bit of loose skin I have or really notice it. I don't have a whole lot, just looks like I had kids (which I have). But I haven't told him about my wls or that before my surgery I struggled both with bulimia and anorexia over the years. I went through an abusive relationship before him for eight years and my weight and problems with food were a constant focus which made my weight balloon out of control. I still struggle with some issues surroundin…

so 2015 is a year of change for me. I had surgery, finalized my divorce, got a drastic haircut, put my kids in charter school, and fixed my relationship with my parents. so I want to start dating again. I have been catfished quite a bit, ghosted several times, but I finally have started talking to someone via text and phone. I have not told him about my WLS (RNY), but we get along great when we talk. he hasn't texted me first in the last week. And I am trying to hold out. I did text him yesterday just to say hi, and that conversation lasted maybe 20 messages. it's not like we can just get together either, he lives in another state 4 hrs away. But he is in town at least …

I'm actively dating but have not 'clicked' with anyone yet. So I think of myself as still window shopping and checking out the merchandise. I've been talking with one man in particular and we've made a connection over the phone. We plan to meet later this coming week. He's told me a couple of times that he's not exactly fit. I can tell that he is concerned because I'm slim and he's not. I have no intention of letting him know I'm banded...not at this early stage. But I wanted him to know that excess pounds are not an issue for me. So I told him I wasn't always as thin as I am now and extra pounds is no concern for me. Problem is...it feels like a sin of omission.…

So I had VSG on 2/9/15 and was 467 going in and now I am 394 which I am down 73 lbs. I am feeling good but am very lonely. I work and go home no friends to hang out with other than work and they are all working on my days off. Been thinking of online dating but being a big guy I don't think I would have much luck right now. Just wondering if it is best to wait on trying to date until I shed more weight or should I start now? Would be nice to find someone to be active with and have someone. Any thoughts?

When we lose weight, often times we begin online dating. For many people, they were heavy during the years that most people date, so they don't have a whole lot of experience with dating. I've been online dating quite awhile. My last 3 relationships were with men I met online. My bf and I broke up in Octover so I am back looking at profiles and meeting new guys. This time I am going at it a little differently, because I live in the middle of nowhere . My son moved to the largest city in Oregon, Portland. I go there frequently now, to visit them ( mostly my 4 yr old granddaughter) So I decided to start looking there too, and it opened up a whole new pool of men. I lik…

I was just wondering if there were any single men in their 20's to mid 30's who were looking to connect with someone. I would love to meet someone who has been through this journey as well.

Hey guys - sorry to just barge into the Men's Room but I'm looking for some advice. I'm back on the dating scene after almost a decade's absence. My absence was due to dating the wrong person & being depressed & somewhat of a man-hater after that, my parents' divorce (how can you trust "true love" if your parents just fell out of it?), my step-father cheating on my mom (how can you trust men?), having a former boyfriend cheat (again, how can you trust men?), etc. Needless to say, I was not very interested in trying to trust myself or any man, for quite some time. Now that I have lost over 75 lbs I am happily back to getting attention from men. I'm on Match &a…

I've finally begun to date again. The first guy was gushy about thinking that we were made for each other and even mentioned eventual marriage... on the FIRST date! I didn't go out with him again. I've just met someone a week ago who is pretty nice, but he has been calling and texting me much more than I am comfortable with and is also talking about when "he and I can become we". It has only been a week! He is also very physical and I feel like I'm starting to have to insist on not being so touchy feely. Is this normal? I'm almost to the point where I don't want to date, and am wondering if it is just me or just the luck of the draw in meeting these two guys. A…

Just browsing around... anyone near SETX?

I'm not looking to date but rather a nice "pen pal." Is that even what they are called anymore LOL. I'm looking for male or female friends that I can relate to during my weight loss journey. I was sleeved in May 2014. Almost at goal and feeling somewhat lonely as I don't have anyone in my circle of friends to communicate with. Not looking for a weirdo or someone to get a bunch of emojis from. Just some good and fun conversation. If you're interested in a "buddy" to have good,conversation I am too.

Hi, My name is Theresa. I am S/P sleeve from 12/23 and lost 70lbs so far. It's nice to see this site is available for single people who've had this surgery. It's difficult to date but especially hard after you've had WLS/ I don't know if my profile pic is upside down. For some reason I couldn't fix it. lol

I'm on a couple of online dating sites since about June of last year. It was hard, but in my profile describing body type, I put in 'normal' or 'average'. I still wanted to put in curvy but I'm not..I just felt that way. So this week, I finally went ahead and put the correct body type in my profiles. In one I had the option for 'petite' and I clicked on it, and in the other one, I actually clicked on 'slim'. That's really the more accurate type for me but it's not easy to admit to it. Man...I wish my head would catch up to my body.

My good friend Cassie from WLSDailyPlate suggested I read a great article called F*** Yes or No! It's a great read for our single members.

Who here is post op and had issues with men, (or women:) ) not wanting them because of there weight. Do you you do online dating now/before surgery? Are you having more luck now? What are you telling dates? Thanks:)

Just had the surgery..

Where you all at?

I can navigate around pretty well from my laptop, but from my kindle or phone...it's hit and miss..haha. Anyway, I had a couple of recent experiences that sort of shook my confidence. They are each very small... but I noticed I they have introduced a bit of fear/hesitation in me on the dating topic. Okay, story one. Last year I went to a Halloween party/costume contest. I was dressed as Xena and just for the note, was by far NOT the most revealing costume there. However, I do admit that some of the other very revealing costumes (belly dancer etc) were not worn by people who were fit/trim so in some ways I did stand out. Everything was fun, I was among friends and …

Hi, I'd love to see what we have in common surgery-wise as well as apart from surgery. (I'm being sleeved in March 2015, a revision surgery from the band that was placed in March 2011.) When I'm sufficiently recovered, I would welcome the opportunity to meet up in the borough. Let's go for a walk, a light-bite, or a cup of coffee and discuss our surgeries and more!

OK friends. I'm going to start this off. How about we share comments regarding how we eat while on a date? I have a funny one from last week. I went to dinner on Thursday with a new fellow I just met and he made a few comments on how little I was eating. He does not know about my band...it's too early in the relationship to bring it up as far as I'm concerned. I told him several times that I had eaten enough and indeed I did like the food. So..we go out again on Saturday and because the weather was lousy, we wound up in a restaurant again instead of at the piano bar we were supposed to go to. As I had already had dinner, I said I'd have a drink while he ate. I decid…

So I'm 6 months out from VSG, and met a guy online a couple of weeks ago. I'll keep this story short So i've lost about 37 lbs and obviously look a lot better than before. So some background information, I was visiting home for 2 weeks and this guy lives in the same state, a few hours away. I live in a different country, planning on moving back home eventually (maybe next year). So I met this guy online and he knew I was in town for 2 weeks, so we literally exchanged a few emails, had phone convo, met for coffee which led to dinner. Went out again once more for the whole day (lunch, horseback riding, coffee, and dinner) and it was lovely. I'm diabetic and actuall…

I will be sleeved January 13th. I am a single mom. Kids are 13 and 9 so not worried about them. But was wondering if it's necessary to have an adult stay with me after and if so how long should I? Can't wait for surgery though!!!

I know I'm only 10 days postop, but this is something I've been thinking a lot about. My friends are very worried that since most of my past dating has been online, that I'm going to meet people who only want me for my body but would have bypassed my profile when I was/am heavy. Now I know I'm not desperate or shallow enough to fall for men who are only after one thing and I have learned a lot over the years, but I was just wondering what are some people's advice with dating after surgery? I know it's going to be hard and I wish I had found someone who loved me for me before I started this journey... Thoughts? Advice? Stories?

How has you dating life changed since surgery? I'm single (pretty much always have been) and I'm not loving it! Part of the reason is my own insecurity mostly about my weight. Did you have that problem? Has dating changed for you since being sleeved? How?

My life pattern has been to do very little dating and sort of meet someone, immediately be exclusive with them and then spend 15 years with the wrong guy. I did that twice actually. My counselor advised me to casually date. See different men, don't narrow my focus so quickly. I continue to fail at this. This summer I dated one guy for awhile - didn't work out; then another guy for a few months - didn't work out. Neither one of those relationships became a full physical one and we parted company when the realization that this wasn't gonna work became overwhelming and even I could no longer deny it. Okay, I am seeing someone now that i met in real life (not onlin…

Okay for all you single ladies out there in wondering how you deal with dating and when you tell someone about your surgery? I was sleeved July 25 and am down 55lbs so far, but still have at least 100lbs to go! But I've recently joined the dating world again and I'm wondering how to deal with going out for supper or drinks with someone, and how soon to tell them that I'm shrinking and have all these limitations! TIA!

Hey everyone! How is dating post op? I just had the surgery oct.20th but i was dating before than and cut who ever i was talking to off. It's not that he wasn't supportive, he just didn't understand why needed it after explaining a million times. Should we have a bypass mixer or something ? I know it's my time to focus on me but it would be nice to mingle a smidget.

Wow how do you even begin dating or finding anyone that would understand me? I'm 42 and want to start dating.. But how?

Hey all, I'm interested in meeting other single women who have been going through the same experience that I have as a WLS patient. Just curious who, if anyone, is out there in the Maryland area.

Check it out. It just launched today. www.LoveAfterWLS.com

I am scheduled for December, but just learned about this new technique that allows for less scarring on the abdomen. I saw there is this "Spider" laparoscopic tool that makes it possible and safe to perform. There is a Dr. Yu in the U.S. Who apparently has done a great number with great results. Looking for a good surgeon in Mexico if anyone can share.

Am I the only one going through this surgery as a single female? I have had relationships but I want someone who values me and doesn't treat me like trash so I am single. I'm also very overweight. I just wonder if I am not alone in this matter what you did for support or what happened once you started loosing weight? Rather Lonely at times!

So I decided to try dating again. This is the first time since my surgery in Jan. I have a date Friday with a guy I met on match. Totally different kind of guy then I usually go for. He and I are both very into working out at the gym (we actually go to the same gym) and hiking. But now after my surgery I feel really insecure about myself. I also don't know if I should just be straight forward and tell him I had the surgery or just not say anything. I also think he thinks I'm a lot smaller then I am which I know shouldn't matter anyway he should like me for me. But it's kind of nerve-racking. Anyone else having dating problems?

Anyone date prior to surgery? My surgery is in August and I am itching to get back out there. If you did date prior to surgery, did you tell them right away about the surgery or wait? I have joined an online site and was debating telling them through chats so that I can weed out the one's that would be opposed.

I have chosen to keep my WLS private. Only my family and a few best friends know about it. It's just something I want to keep personal, I don't want to talk about it and get questions/judgement/unsolicited advice all the time. Sooo WHAT do I do about dating? I have a friend setting me up and it will just be weird when i can't eat anything at a restaurant. What do I do?! If I was in a relationship I would tell him, but I don't want to share on a first date.

Dating looking to date a good wls single man You interested? You s good man? I hope you are doing well. Gastric bypass surgery is the best! Hopefully I will meet that special good guy.

Dating looking to date a good wls single man You interested? You s good man? I hope you are doing well. Gastric bypass surgery is the best! Hopefully I will meet that special good guy.

I was banded two weeks ago, recovery has gone as expected and im back to work and almost normal activities - but taking it slow. Im single and in my 20's, recently an acquaintance of mine asked me out on a date, he wants to grab coffee at starbuck's. Now im fine going out on the date and getting a caffine free tea, but if all goes well ill assume he will be asking me to dinner soon. Im still post-op liquid diet, soon to be soft diet. But I guess the ultimate question is - when do I have to tell this man about my surgery? Im pretty open about it with my family and friends, only people at my office don't know about it or other's im not really close with. Anybody have experi…

Where are all the single men at?

I am interested in meeting someone in my area who "gets it!"

Hello, I was sleeved Oct. 23 2013, I started to date a guy about a month ago. Its starting to get serious and I haven't told him about my sleeve. It's not that I am ashamed of it but I don't know if he needs to know, right now. So, I have been holding off on telling him. He is really sweet and sometimes he will make a picnic or lunch for us but I can only eat most of it. Which make me feel bad that he went through all this effort to do something awesome. Yet, I know I can't eat it. We are planning on going a little road trip to watch a basketball game and he wants to take me this really nice restaurant and I am not sure what to do. Should I tell him or should I wait?…

I'm learning that through bad relationships and being fat my confidence is gone!! I'm way too shy to date!! Boo!!

Well.... I guess this thread goes either here or in the singles section. So...... the one thing I really envy religious people is their social networking. They form great communities and have lots of opportunities to meet people. I'm single and would like to meet someone but where? There is an athiest group in my community called freethinkers of colorado springs. It looks like they do cool stuff, they have sunday hikes and lectures and pot luck etc.... I'm a little worried though. I really don't want to preach the gosple of athiesm or listen to militant athiest doctrin. I may just be stereotyping.... maybe the group is full of people just like me, jsut loo…

Singles out there?

Hi ladies, I was seeing a guy for about 6-8 weeks. Everything was going great, we were seeing each other multiple times a week, he told me he would be thinking of me, he would kiss and be affectionate, hold me, I could practically feel the love between us and I liked it. Then everything went cold. Now, he barely contacts me, and I feel like I initiate any communication that we have. Is this how dating works? Some guys just cut you off? He's the one that brought feelings to the table, and now I'm thinking he just was after sex. Can anyone shed some light on the matter, I'm really lost.

I wanted to hear some stories and get advice about dating post op. Have you ladies had success? Have things not changed? My therapist convinced me to join eharmony as an experiment to work on my social skills..I listened to her and all I've gotten out of it is rejection. I figure it's because I'm still "obese" and I've found guys in my age range want the supermodel Barbie types and that's not what I am and I doubt I'll ever be one. My 111 pound weight loss helped my self esteem tremendously but this online dating debacle is starting to bring me down a bit.

So, I've been reading about everyone and wanting to lose weight and be there for their spouses/kids/grandkids. Now I want to hear from the single ladies (men). How have you been now that you've lost (losing) weight? Do you have dating worthy confidence now? Have you been on dates? Have you discussed the surgery? How have you handled going out to dinner? I want all the juicy details. Personally, the depression looms as I turn 35 in a couple days and I'm alone (no kids). I haven't been on a date in maybe 5 years. This is so embarrasing. I look forward to having the confidence to go back online.

I think there should be a dating site for WLS people. Dating someone who don't understand why people resort to WLS can be a bit difficult. They tend to be close minded. Since we know the difficulties with weight loss challenges, I believe we can understand and support one another. I'm just saying. What do you gals/guys think?

I'm only 2.5 weeks post op. I've been asked on 2 dates since being banded and they do not know of my decision with the band. I'm kinda nervous how to get around this. The one suggested coffee so it's perfect. The other suggested dinner or drinks. Any suggestions on how to avoid that or do I just tell him my restrictions right now? Suggestions. I suppose if we go to a place with salmon I'll be fine, don't have to purée it. Help

I read a post on another thread about her dating life changing. But, I was wondering about those of us over 60. Has any of your lives changed in this area? I'm very shy. Do you find that more men pay attention to you? Or, is it about the same?