So I had VSG on 2/9/15 and was 467 going in and now I am 394 which I am down 73 lbs. I am feeling good but am very lonely. I work and go home no friends to hang out with other than work and they are all working on my days off. Been thinking of online dating but being a big guy I don't think I would have much luck right now. Just wondering if it is best to wait on trying to date until I shed more weight or should I start now? Would be nice to find someone to be active with and have someone. Any thoughts?

Yeah church is but then you got to deal with some serious religious stuff. I am not very religious.

Church is also a great place to meet people...

@@Daveo

So here's an idea about that...church stuff...maybe research the churches in your area. Some are very open, freer-thinking than churches of the past. If you find one that is interesting, but doesn't require much, if any, commitment, it may be an idea to go and visit (and check out the sweeties). A lot of them now have singles activities, and age-focused groups.

I've always had the philosophy of "what can it hurt? At least I would make new friends". And if you don't like it, don't go back.

ANd most of the time the activities are very inexpensive, if not free. Worth a try!

@@CanyonBaby you bring up a good point! I think I will have to do some research in my area. There has to be some good women in Sin city. haha

There is a great site that is used in the past www.bbpeoplemeet.com. Lots of great and normal people. I am married now and I met my husband online dating. Love is definitely out there

@@Daveo

NOT bragging, but my hubs' found ME there!!!! We met at Lake Mead! There are a few, probably many, just hard to find! I felt the same thing when I was single there.

Make your list of what you want in a lady friend. Have faith about it. Even though your not very religious, give the list to God. Let HIM do the work! Keep your eyes open. Give it time. If you want someone special in your life, it is MY belief that there was someone made just for you. She's out there. Now let the One who made her bring her to you. That's it. Faith.

Oh, and while I'm at it, look into the Sierra Club for guided hikes. Usually lots of singles go to Lake Mead, Red Rock State Park, Valley of Fire and other cool places with this group. At least they did back in the day! Look it up on the internet for activities and events and times/dates/meeting places. And they are fun hikes, too! This should be a really fun time in your life! Enjoy it!

I would first focus on making your social life more satisfying overall. Cultivate hobbies, friendships, join a group, volunteer - do something to get yourself "out there". I think that can be a real confidence builder.

As a single woman, I am much more interested in a man who has an active and interesting life.

I helped start a horse related meetup about 5 years ago. since then I am a member of a number of "social" meetups and they are really fun. i have never dated anyone from there, but I love getting out and dancing, or whatever with friendly, like minded people.

Another forum I post on regularly is for women in the midst of separating or divorcing their husbands. One woman there wrote about Meetup, which is an online thing, not dating but just finding people near you who have similar interests. You just search Meetup + your town, and I was surprised to find so many groups near me with all kinds of things - book clubs, hiking, biking, dogs, fantasy gaming etc (that last one is not one of my interests LOL, just pointing out the variety) It seems to be generally singles but I don't think couples are excluded automatically, may depend on the group. But the person who suggested this had found several new friends and some interesting dates that way.

Less stressful than online dating IMO.

I wish you much luck. I've decided to venture out into the dating world again. It's scary especially when you aren't a spring chicken anymore! My first date is tomorrow night. It's a blind date. EEEEK. I tried the online thing and didn't meet with much success so now I'm doing a matchmaker thing. Just take it slow and don't "settle"!

Your schedule will make dating harder too.. all the more reason to start building out a full social life that matches your lifestyle... whether you start dating right now or not.

Have you seen this site yet?

http://www.loveafterwls.com/

Yeah I signed up last night. I have no problem going on Online Dating sites it is getting responses back. lol

I may try meet up and see if I can find a group or something. My problem is socializing, I work mid shift so I am always working at the time most people have off.

I think you should go for it. You only live once and should find someone who is accepting of who you are on the insides, and not all about looks.

Good luck with your search

I'm not getting sleeved until September. However I just started using meetup.com it has a bunch of social clubs. Although there are some singles clubs there are a lot of activity based clubs. I've been to a few events and have had a great time. I highly recommend it. It's free to join and lots of the clubs have no membership dues. For instance Ilthe clubs I'm in are a movie, music, and book club, and just twenty and thirties social club.

Once again I highly recommend it!

@@CanyonBaby you bring up a good point! I think I will have to do some research in my area. There has to be some good women in Sin city. haha

I would look into Central Christian Church in Las Vegas. They have 4 sites in the Vegas area. http://www.centralonline.tv/ You can even watch online (past/preset) services and get a feel for it before journeying out

Edited June 1, 201511 yr by OneDollarBill

I chose to wait until I was within a few pounds of goal before I started dating. This is probably going to sound snotty, but putting yourself on the market is the same as putting a house on the market- you attract the best and most amount of "buyers" when your "house" looks as good as possible. This is how the world works. I knew that a man that I would find attractive and who was someone that has a personality like mine would never want to be looking at 237 pound me, however now that I am 126 pounds, there is no shortage of options available. I was ok being alone until I was happy with myself, because really, if you aren't confident and happy in your own skin, how can you expect anyone else to like you more than you like yourself?

That being said....being friends with women is a great start. The guy I am dating right now was my friend (without benefits, lol) for months. I didn't like him all that much when we first met, but he was so sweet to me and great to talk to via text and the phone that we continued to hang out, and now, we've moved to a point where we aren't just friends. Sometimes being in the friend zone is not permanent and once you've invested a lot of time in someone you are less likely to drop them if something comes up that would have been unattractive initially.

Just stay away from the FriendZone ... recently heard it referred to as 'Palcatraz'

-RC-

I love gowalking's suggestion, GREAT IDEA. Meet people in your situation, and make it work for both of you. Walks, gym, biking ect.....