So I had VSG on 2/9/15 and was 467 going in and now I am 394 which I am down 73 lbs. I am feeling good but am very lonely. I work and go home no friends to hang out with other than work and they are all working on my days off. Been thinking of online dating but being a big guy I don't think I would have much luck right now. Just wondering if it is best to wait on trying to date until I shed more weight or should I start now? Would be nice to find someone to be active with and have someone. Any thoughts?

Daveo,

I dated successfully at 305. I get many more dating opportunities at 222. I am convinced that women have have evolved senses to seek out healthy mates (basic reproductive needs). Even if kids are not the goal, that shapes most of our tastes and attraction. (Read "Why Women Have Sex" by Cindy M. Meston)

But outside appearance aside is what the weight loss did to me on the inside. I took control of my health, which gave me more confidence, and confidence is sexy and attractive to women. So get your head right before you write your profile. Do NOT ever say I'm lonely, want a friend...with online dating its sales. So sell yourself as "I am starting an adventure and there is no turning back, want to join me..." Project lots of confidence and that will be attractive to women.

I have some posts on this site on how to do online dating better. Let me know if you have any questions. Google dating, there are many jerks who have sites about how to sleep with women, but just because their motives are bad, doesn't mean their insights into how to attract women are necessarily wrong. One guy who I find morally repugnant had a great tip...make a goal to approach 25 women a day, and make notes about each one. His point was the only way to get confident is to practice.

One important note...make a list of the qualities that YOU want. Yes you want love, but create a profile of the woman you want in your life. What will she look like, what does she like to do, what is her job, what is her personality, intelligence. Until you do that, you are shooting in the dark. You have to have the confidence to say "look you are a nice person, and you will be a perfect match for someone, but not me."

Confidence is not free. It takes work to get it. But it is a skill that can be developed. You are on a new path, congrats on the weight loss so far, and it will only get better. If you plan and prepare before you act, you will do better.

One other note, you will cope with your feelings of loneliness better IF you have a plan of action. I can do without many things if I have some hope there will be something better down the road.

@@OKCPirate

Brilliant, absolutely brilliant!