Singles Forum

419 topics in this forum

I know there are a bunch of us doing online dating. I started talking to this guy who lives in Portland which is 4 hours away from where I live. We talked every day for 2 weeks, sometimes morning and evening. This is really against the rule I have for myself, which is not to waste a lot of my time on the phone with guys I've found online. This guy was different though. He was funny, and smart. I decided I wanted to meet him and my son lives in Portland, so I decided to visit my son and DIL. Right up until the day before I was ready to go, we were in contact and he was all for us meeting. All of a sudden, he doesn't text back and the phone goes straight to VM. Being…

So, when I decided to "try again" I firmly committed myself to a different approach as advised by MANY. I make the mistake of zeroing in on a person to quickly and then am disappointed when it doesn't work out so this time the idea is to date many, very casually, and get to know a person for months before devoting too much time to a person. I have been pleased at finding an overall better pool of prospects, and things are going well...however...I recently realized I am doing it again! The idea is you sort of rotate through lots of people and as people"drop out" you replace. Eventually, a good match shows up, stays with you and you have had time to get to know him. In…

I am almost 2 years post VSG and after a lot of advice decided to try dating again. I was talking with someone I met on an online site and things seemed to be going well so we decided to meet for coffee. It was . . . Interesting. First he was a bit late because he "fell asleep" and woke up late so he had to rush to get there. Second, and this was the interesting part to me, he was chunkier than he appeared in his photo. I found myself being a little judgmental about that. Then I had to reign myself in thinking "who are you to judge someone by weight or appearance?" I get that attraction, or what makes someone attractive is a very subjective thing, but I was mad at mysel…

But people say the darndest things on coffee dates, the meet and greet.

So I am a trying some different approaches ,overall not ready to discuss as this just started...but I have a small example. Last night I was on a second date with someone I like, but of course hardly know him yet. I sensed a certain cooling toward me by the end of the date. There were a couple of things that came up in conversation that I imagined could be the reason, but who knows. My old way would be to remain silent, and just see what happens..leave things in his court...if he didn't contact me, just let it be. I decided today to do something different. I sent him a note telling him how I enjoyed myself (vulnerabilities in the face of sensing a cooling) and then …

Anybody read his books on dating?

De

Yup, just as the title says, I got dumped today....Valentine's Day. Thankfully, it wasn't a long term relationship or something that I had invested a lot of time into. However, that doesn't much help the feelings of rejection and profound disappointment. I'm almost 38 years old and have never been in a relationship. Ever. After so many years, I can't help wondering what is wrong with me. Yes, I know it is them, not me, but there's that evil little voice that says that when a pattern develops, there must be a common cause. Basically, I met a guy who was as close to fulfilling my "list" as possible. Incredibly intelligent (PhD and speaks 5 languages), gorgeous, fun…

Single and two great kids. Looking for a friend.....let's connect

Hi my name is Danny. I am 36 years old and I am from Southeast Georgia. I had my wls on July 3, 2012. My highest weight was 527 lbs. My current weight is 235 lbs. I am so happy but so unhappy at the same time. I am a Christian therfore I don't do the bar scene. So I have found it very difficult to meet singles and date. I am very active in my local church but there are no singles there my age. I could use some advice and would love to meet some singles on this site if there are any? Feel free to inbox me and thank you for taking the time to read my post. By the way on a positive not I recently published my first book title "Half the man I used to be with twice the Heart."…

Okay, if you haven't heard Elle King you really need to listen to her hit "Ex's and Oh's" - great song. Oddly, I have had Ex's sort of reappear recently. P - very casual dating at the time, but my type in so many ways. He is outgoing, world traveler, very family oriented, business man, plans for early retirement like I want and just a few years younger but youthful in energy and attitude. He has more energy than me, whuch isnt very common! He is from Italy and there is something about those big personalities that suits me. I wasn't really ready for a serious relationship and he was separated not divorced at the time. What ended things is he moved about 4 hours a…

Welcome to the BariatricPal singles Forum! I started this forum because of the huge changes you experience when you are on your weight loss surgery journey. Your lifestyle, your appearance, and the way you see yourself and the world can change. There’s a good chance your relationships will change, too – and maybe you’ll start some new ones. In fact, it may be time to date again! You can come here to the BariatricPal singles forum to mingle with other singles who have or are thinking about bariatric surgery. It can be a lot easier to start a relationship when you know the other person has the same health values as you, and understands what you’re going through. I also …

I finally met someone who got me out of the dating pool. It is interesting that this wasn't some crazy hormonal charged ubber romantic chance meeting thing. It has grown slowly from someone I was attracted to someone I want to grow a relationship with. We have a tenancy to define intimacy as sex. I think it is much more than that. While sex is important, its a servant to intimacy not the master. What I am finding as this grows is finding the right person was vital. Duh? Well what I didn't realize was how important it was to find someone who was really emotionally healthy. For me it turned out that it was important to find someone who had suffered trauma and over…

A guy I met pre surgery sent me a video of a concert. In the background he was telling his friend about me who I had also met. While describing me he called me "that big girl Kelly". His friend responded with oh yea she's really pretty! He said "she's lost over 50lbs she looks even better now". He doesn't even know I heard this Convo because be was so drunk on the video... I think I'm offended by the "big girl" comment. But at the same time he's the one who asked me for my number and took me out and asked me out numerous times after (which I now know why my instinct told me no way). If he's the one who asked me out numerous times how much could 50lbs really have bother…

I couldn't possibly reveal the train wreck of a body I make great pains to disguise every moment of every day to another individual, and I can't afford reconstructive surgery either. My only hope at this point is to find a wealthy benefactor willing to pay for a million procedures like some kind of WLS Disney film or winning the lottery.

Biej

I want to connect. Chat and whatever. Send a message let's chat

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Am I the only person that just doesn't tell the person I am interested in about my surgery? I had the lapband for five years and just had it revised to bypass. Dating has always been awkward and i dread dinner dates. I hate being stared at by the guy and asked why I am eating so slow or why I didn't eat so much. Or even worse when I had the band the constant running I the bathroom to "cough", up food. I was embarrassed of the weight I had gained that caused me to get the band in the first place and even more embarrassed when I still wasn't as skinny as I thought I should be.

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The way things are progressing with the lovely Miss Noel, my time on Match.com will hopefully be coming to an end soon. But I don't know why I didn't think about this earlier...There has been discussion about creating a dating site for WLS people, well why not just share a link to your dating site profile here. Mine is: http://www.match.com/Profile/Display/About/?lid=450&uid=VF5xK49Gklufqiad26V30w== At least by looking at others you might get an idea on how to improve your own.

Since starting my journey, my spouse started out supportive and now is being a big d!ck!! I'm at the point where I'm ready to get this surgery done and over with so I can move on!!!

Ok, so I've lost 60lbs so far, I've got the "Tina, the talking tummy" issue, or the "apron" stomach. It hangs, and it's disgusting. Since losing the weight, and having a baby prior, I absolutely hate it. I always feel the need to explain to men about my situation. I already know the "if they love/like you, they won't care" so I'm not looking for that answer, but what do you women tell men, or visa versa, or do you not tell them at all? I'm just afraid of being rejected I guess. Does anyone else have this fear?

I have been on several dates lately and it's amazing me how often the subject of my weight is coming up. These men seemed intrigued and extremely attracted to and mesmerized by my thinness. They talk about my weight and how little I eat as such a plus and make sure they let me know how they don't like overweight women and they talk about their own weight a lot to the negative even if they are thin. Is there a breed of men especially attracted to underweight women? Because I seem to be attracting them in droves and it's a very weird feeling to me. I feel like for one I could never let these guys know I used to be overweight. They are so fixated on my shape and I f…

After a couple of months on Match.com, I think I finally found the "one." The numbers are interesting: I sent 149 emails via their site I received 61 back 15 coffee dates 6 real dates 3 multiple dates 1 possible match that had to be aborted because of serious signs of mental illness And finally She showed up and we have been going out for the last three weeks and it keeps getting better every time we go out. I kept track of the numbers this time because I know it's easy to get discouraged and think, what's the point? I'm not saying this is easy. To tell you the truth, I'm busy, but I put dating time in my schedule. It was as important as exercise to me. It …

I am raising my 4 grandkidz in the chaos of getting banded 27aug2015... I have a full plate & not much time to get out and about. I am just looking for someone to talk to ... I don't always have lots of time to drop what I am doing to answer right away! You must be patient, family oriented, love to camp, the outdoors, travel, motorcycles, caring, great sense of humor, mature, & a bit spontaneous... or just be bored as I am..lol I promise-as soon as I figure out how this thing works, I will post a pic. I am 50 years old 5' 7" have reddish brown hair & am around 200 lbs (soon)- Very fun loving and caring. Let's chat & see what we have in common

I took down my profile etc - not currently doing the online thing. I have reflected on why i feel so jaded (or whatever) about it and I think it boils down to a couple of things. It takes me a long time to warm up to a person in the sense of feeling true attachment, stirrings of "love" etc. I am very outgoing/social so I am comfortable with people from the beginning, but I am talking about that feeling of being invested. What made sense to me was to casually date, likely more than one person at a time, slowly getting to know them until those feelings start to emerge. I think that is how it used to be done pre internet? I dunno, I spent most of my life as part of coup…

So, here I am, 35 and fixing to undergo RNY surgery in August. I'm not, in my mind, an overly large woman (the doctors and their charts tend to disagree), but due to multiple medical ailments, I haven't been unable to lose weight, and in fact, keep gaining. I'm okay with having the surgery, but in the mean time, trying to find a good man is nearly impossible. I'm sure they are out there, but thus far, I have met guys for dinner and never heard back from them. A few have told me straight up that I'm to "big" for their likes. Each to his own, but I wouldn't want to be with someone like that anyway. Here is my rant/dilemma...if I'm having a hard time finding a guy now, and I…

Well, a life lesson for me again. Don't date an alcoholic. I've never known an alcoholic before. The man I've been dating the past 5 months is one. It snuck up on me, realizing how bad it is. We were together successfully 3 months when he lost his job, his brother died, and now his dad has prostate cancer. He's totally hit rock bottom and spends all day drinking. I've been trying to survive in the relationship. We've already broken up once and got back together recently. The first time we broke up, it was after I was spending the night at his house and in the middle of the night he got up to use the restroom and fell on me and almost broke my ribs. He is a pre…

I was in a 4 month long relationship earlier this year that meant a little something to me. This is a man my friends thought was awesome, we did lots of outdoorsy things together, he taught me to fish, make beer, we camped and hiked and he rode horses with me - all sorts of stuff like that. My lil dog was always welcome at his house and she adored him. It ended, from my perspective because he had some weird stuff in his life and his reaction to it indicated not such a great mental stability. I mean, it was clear he was becoming paranoid and a bunch of other strange ideas and thoughts about things and so when his young daughter came to town I conveniently backed away…

Men are always talking about how there are so many crazy women out there. I've been single a year and it seems like the world is FULL of crazy men!!! Not women!! Or is it just people in general? Geeze I thought I had problems. I go out with a guy twice and he's ready to marry me. I date an alcoholic and fall in love with him. I hear endless stories about crazy exes. What are people willing to settle for these days? Is it my age? (35) Is it that I'm online dating?? I have guys yelling at because I don't text them fast enough. I have guys who are completely emotionally stunted. What the hell????

At almost a year post op, I'm starting to believe that dating another WLS guy might be so much easier! Hahaha ????

I have created a couple online profiles on dating sites but have yet to go on a date. I find it very time consuming searching through profiles and also making my profile something someone would be interested in reading. My concern is though once I start dating what should I expect? From my very limited experience I would pay for everything and didn't think twice about it. I was talking with my friend yesterday and she said it is not like that anymore. It is more of split it down the middle kinda thing or go dutch. This is when you are dating and when you decide to move in together (which is not even a thought right now). What I would like to know is if any of you have com…

Sigh. I'm dating right now and I'm really worried about the lose skin on my stomach. I have a flap that really bothers me, it's not hideous but it's there. The rest of me is pretty darn nice, just my tummy needs work. I'm so nervous about having sex with anyone new over this. I can't afford to have plastic surgery till next year but I don't want to wait to date that long! How important do you think it is that I have a perfect or at least, flat tummy?

Just wondering if anyone has become single as a result of the weight loss from their stomach sleeve? Just wondering if anyone's spouses have become jealous because of the weight loss.

Hi all, I haven't had the surgery yet but was curious how dating is after the surgery!? Easier? Harder? I know you can't eat as much so how is going out to dinner? Do you let your date know ahead of time or is that something you disclose after becoming serious. Would love to hear some stories/advice! Thanks!

I reluctantly agreed to meet a man for a beverage (feeling jaded lately not too into dating at the moment) and we hit it off pretty well so we went to a daytime music festival that was happening right in that small town he lives in/I go to alot. We had a good time, did a little swing dancing etc. He tried to talk me into going back to his apartment, an invitation i declined but hey, can't fault a guy for trying right? He was being very flirty which culiminated in pulling my hair... lets just say in a way that seemed very intimate. Reminder - middle of the day, out in public at a music festival in a small town where i am well known/see people i know all the time. I…

This year is a year of change for me. I got sleeved in February and lost over 100lbs so far. I am feeling better and can do things I couldn't do for years. With that said, sadly I am feeling very lonely still. My birthday is coming up next month and I will be 39 and alone. Another year that way and it sucks. Hopefully as I keep losing and things get better, my situation will change. It would just be nice to find someone to share this life with.

Any single ladies on here? I'm looking for someone to talk with and see what could develop. Either an awesome friendship or maybe more doesn't matter, just looking for a cool woman to get to know.

It's a new chapter in my life as I pack up all the things my Ex gave me over the years, I put it in a box and put it away. I woke up not sad for the first time I woke up rejuvenated! That I will find somebody who will want the same desires as me. For now I start the most important task: Taking care of myself! Seeing the Bariatric Surgeon is the first step this coming Wednesday. Then taking the rest from there. I need to rebuild myself inner to outer. This is my Time to Shine. Lisa

Just wondering..... I'm up for chatting, not really wanting to date until after the surgery and I have lost weight. Just wanting a buddy pen-pal now. Who knows what could happen? Lisa

So the guy I loved for ten years last night gave me hope we would be together again one day. Now he says he doesn't want me! I Can't take much more of this

Somebody hold my hand!!! *looks around nervously* Seriously I'm petrified! I just got out of a decade long term relationship tonight. I need time to grieve and get myself put back together. (Sounds like I'm humpty dumpty or something. LOL) So what happens in the dating world when I'm ready? Anything new? Kind of been out of the loop for a decade!! It's weird considering myself officially 'single'. Right now I'm not a good candidate for being in a relationship I have too many bags for somebody else to help carry. LOL Lisa

Well my friends..I've let my last dating site contract lapse. I'm off of all of them now. I was dating two men I liked and have decided it's time to commit to one of them. I also decided to not pursue anything with the widower I met just before I went to London. Julian is asking me to have an exclusive relationship with him and I've decided to go ahead and give it a shot. For someone who was looking for a good man who wants an exclusive relationship, I find myself full of doubts about opening my heart to someone but I know it's all about the leap of faith and allowing someone in even if it means opening up the chance to be hurt. We've been going very slowly on pur…

I was talking to my doctor the the other day and we both agreed that I got more booty when I was fat. Now I'm in a league of people who aren't throwing themselves at me. It's weird.

I don't know of this is exactly the right board, but I'm a single mom and I figure I will find others here. I'm struggling when it comes to talking to my son about my surgery. He is 8. When I first started looking into surgery he overheard me talking to someone else about the surgery and flipped out. While I was in the deciding phase, I made sure not to talk about it around him. Now the decision is made and the surgery is next month. I have plans and back up plans for his care while I'm in surgery and recovery. I even have a plan in case there are complications. I just haven't been able to tell him about the surgery. What have you told your kids?

Next week! 2 events: Slate Lounge and Walk/Potluck picnic. Please RSVP to the walk/picnic using email address in flyer. Would love to meet you guys and continue building a WLS support community!

I was banded on June 2nd and so far I've lost 21 lbs and I can already see a huge improvement in my confidence and I'm ready to start dating again. Before I had surgery I was very insecure and wanted to date but figured most guys wouldn't want to date me. It would be nice to have someone to talk to who has also had WLS because that gives us something to connect with. Any advice on dating after WLS or any guys that are single who are looking for the same thing please reply

So, I just saw an ad when at the cinema last week for a dating site for those who have undergone or who are currently undergoing significant weight loss. It's called WeightlessDate.com. It encourages team work and support based on experiencing the same challenges and accomplishments. I thought it was a great idea and wanted to share with the community.

May I just vent for a second? This dating thing is SO frustrating. I feel like I should have learned how to do this a LONG time ago, and now I'm floundering to pick up a skill everyone else my age has long since mastered. In my head I guess I know that it's just a weeding out process, a numbers game - put yourself out there, meet as many guys as you can handle meeting, and weed out the mismatches until one sticks. Unfortunately, my head isn't always in charge. The rest of me gets quite frustrated with the "fall-off-the-earth-ers", the ones who CLEARLY didn't read your profile, the ones who take FOREVER to call, and maybe worst of all, the ones who seem like a gr…