This year is a year of change for me. I got sleeved in February and lost over 100lbs so far. I am feeling better and can do things I couldn't do for years. With that said, sadly I am feeling very lonely still. My birthday is coming up next month and I will be 39 and alone. Another year that way and it sucks. Hopefully as I keep losing and things get better, my situation will change. It would just be nice to find someone to share this life with.

@@Daveo,

Ditto all of the above. You have a happy birthday! Look at all you have accomplished this year, you've done well, be proud of yourself.

It will happen, you never know when, but it will. Get out there...volunteer, take a course, how about a cooking class? Stay positive, continue on the healthy road your on, it will all fall into place.

@@Daveo ... also meant to say, happy birthday for next month! When in September is your birthday? It's a popular month (nine months after Christmas!) ... I'm a September baby, too.

@Daveo...I just posted the other day about being in a new relationship after many many years on my own and how I was surprised by that but I can echo lots of what is posted here. When you are happy with your life, and have lots to do and many different interests, the ladies will focus on that, and not your physical appearance.

My gentleman is nothing like I would have imagined. He is of another culture than me and very ordinary in the looks department. What makes him attractive is our shared interests and the fact that he wants a lady in his life...but he doesn't need one. Desperation is very unatractive and that goes for men and women. We are both of that same opinion and have full and happy lives. That's what attracts people to each other.

Find what interests you, and don't let the fact that you are alone make you lonely. Cultivate friendships and do things that you enjoy. Then you will be where you want to be when some lovely lady crosses your path.

Good luck my friend!

Thanks for the encouragement everyone, just got to work on me.

I agree with everyone that says that, right now, you need to be focusing on you and making yourself happy. I'm a firm believer in learning to like and appreciate being single. The bottom line for me is this: If you aren't happy being by yourself, you can't expect someone else to be happy to be with you. You need to learn to love yourself and appreciate yourself, not focus your entire world around being with another person. That becomes overwhelming for both you and the other person. I'm 32, and I enjoy taking vacations by myself, going to the movies, shopping, going to restaurants, etc. If another person happens to enjoy the same things and wants to join me, that's wonderful, but I'm not going to stop living my life because I don't happen to have a love interest. The only other option is to wake up one day and realize that life has passed you by, and that you didn't even have a chance to enjoy it.

I love love love being alone!! Got out of a really bad marriage 20 years ago & thank God ever day! I go where I want, do what I want, buy what I want. I have good friends with whom I vacation yearly. This year we are doing a Mediterranean cruise. You don't need a relationship to make you stop feeling alone. You need you. Everything else is, as they say gravy....the kind that doesn't make you fat. In this technological age we can order a book, play games, go into chat rooms, find out where things are happening around our city or town...hobbies, Daveo....love yourself & find interests & if a woman in your life is meant to be, you will find each other...just enjoy your life now, in the waiting...& happy birthday!!

Get in that singles forum and get to chatting!! My husband and I talked on the phone for 3 hours before we ever laid eyes on each other....8 years later happily married!

I know how bad loneliness can feel. While I have not had an issue finding dates, my issue has always been getting a man to respect me. I've had men make me pull up around the corner to pick them up/drop them off for dates because they didn't want their families to see me. I had a man I was in a serious relationship with for over a year call me a "fat disgusting porker" and tell me I deserved to be cheated on because of my weight. I've had men use me, and treat me as though I wasn't worthy of so much as decent human respect because of my weight my entire life. The dating world revolves around weight, whether people admit it or not. Of course I am sure there are some that don't care, but they are few and far between and I have never found one, even at my weight which is generally somewhere around 250lbs (270 now), it is literally the number one factor. It is hard for women too. I am 99% sure my dating life will improve after I lose 100 pounds, and I am sure yours will too.

Women are easy to figure out. If you want something long lasting and serious, my advice is this: Women want to feel wanted. Tell her you love her/miss her and make time for her. Treat her with respect. The rest will come easy.

Edited August 10, 201511 yr by provenzee

@@provenzee that's horrible that you have been treated like that. A lot of guys give the rest of us a bad rep. You're right the dating world does revolve around weight. Even those who say it doesn't matter are really not being true to what they say. Beauty fades, weight fluctuates but the heart is the only thing that is true. If you can see someone for who they really are it shouldn't matter.

My motto is: "It's better to have loved and lost than be stuck with a psychopath the rest of my life."

@ surfer girl : good one!!!!

My motto is: "It's better to have loved and lost than be stuck with a psychopath the rest of my life."

My divorce lawyer has this on a plaque on her desk.

Wow way to go men! Have a life, when you least expecting or even wanting is when that someone will come along. I once knew a guy who always asked the most beautiful girl in the room to dance and 90% of the time she said yes and even if she didn't everyone else knew he was strong and usually said yes too.

Ask friends how they met, check out online, believe you are worthy and believe me life with the wrong person is ugly and worth waiting for the right one, it is so much easier but still work. Pray. See a shrink to see if you are putting out the wrong vibes or have something that needs worked on. Be the best you can be for that future person and more importantly yourself.

Know how you're feeling Daveo. I've recently turned 50 and am devestated that I've never had a real relationship. I haven't had my procedure yet and it's years down the road. I've been obese since childhood and it has ruled my life. Thinking of the mess my body is in now and how it will be after the weight lose, I'm sure it will still rule my life. Isn't there suppose to be someone out there for everyone? Maybe I'll find my soul mate at a nursing home when I retire. LMFAO!

What I'm saying is you are still YOUNG and now you've lost the weight.....hell man, get out there!! Good luck to you!