Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Emotional Connections



Recommended Posts

Biej

Edited by momma_missie

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

As lonely as I was when my first husband died...I was alot lonlier knowing my second husband and I were like strangers while sharing the same bed. How horrible to be feeling alone when your spouse is sleeping right beside you.

I subsequently left him and was alone (without a partner) for 15 years. I was never lonely though. I make sure to have a support system of friends and family. And I learned that being by myself was not that terrible. Really...don't be afraid to be alone. There are alot of good things about being alone. You don't have to compromise..your life is your own. Be in control of your life and do what you need to in order to make yourself happy. Or if not happy, then make yourself strong...or better yet, find out how strong you really are.

Good luck.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

If you did get a divorce, what is the worst that could happen???? You would get happy????

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Speaking as someone who had parents that NEVER would have worked together, kids are pretty perceptive, more than you may think. If they can tell you're unhappy, I bet they would be a lot more understanding and okay with it if you decided to split than you'd think they would be. It's no one's place but your own to know what is the right thing for you, but if most of your worry and hesitation comes from worrying about being alone then you just have to teach yourself that your worth is NOT decided by other people, and it's NOT decided by who is willing to stay with you even when the relationship is unhappy. You are worthy of the kind of relationship that will make you feel happy and loved and supported. Also I can guarantee you that your kids will be a lot happier if they know you are happier. It was the same with my parents. Whatever happens with you, I hope it's for the best and that you find some comfort and the love that you deserve.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I've tried leaving twice.. before my wls. But came back both times. In his eyes all is well. Sometimes I swear not an emotional bone in his body... hopefully in time we get it figured out. Is it bad to hope he'll hate the new me and leave this time around? :-/

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I've tried leaving twice.. before my wls. But came back both times. In his eyes all is well. Sometimes I swear not an emotional bone in his body... hopefully in time we get it figured out. Is it bad to hope he'll hate the new me and leave this time around? :-/

Please don't wait for him to make a move because he won't. If you are unhappy, talk to a lawyer and get your ducks in a row. Life is way too short to be miserable. Really.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I've tried leaving twice.. before my wls. But came back both times. In his eyes all is well. Sometimes I swear not an emotional bone in his body... hopefully in time we get it figured out. Is it bad to hope he'll hate the new me and leave this time around? :-/

Although you deleted your opening note, the other replies give a good idea of what's on your mind. Lots of women who are in unhappy marriages stay there because they're afraid of their financial situations and other things. If this is the case for you, think about what you can start doing to gain reasonable financial independence. The more you take charge of the things now, the more options you'll have. It isn't easy, but it can be done.

I don't think it's "bad" to hope your husband will dislike the "new" you enough to leave, but will the New You want to give up so much power? I don't mean "power" in the sense of a battle of the wills, but rather as your own autonomy. His leaving would be the easy way for you, but you'd still have the concerns that are holding you back now.

@@gowalking said it very nicely: "find out how strong you really are."

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Biej

@@gowalking @@Miss Mac @@WLSResources/ClothingExch

@@momma_missie what was deleted in your original post????

inquiring minds want to know!! ;)

thanx

kathy

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Recent Topics

  • Most popular:

  • Recent Status Updates

    • GreenTealael  »  Lynnem6

      💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜
      ⚡⚡HAPPY SURGERY DAY & SAFE JOURNEY⚡⚡
      💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • GreenTealael  »  Lynnem6

      💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜
      ⚡⚡HAPPY SURGERY DAY & SAFE JOURNEY⚡⚡
      💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Jobber

      Yesterday I "officially" eclipsed the 100 lb mark.  I'm sure if you're in any other country than the US, the 45.3 kg mark doesn't sound as much of a milestone, but it's very cathartic for me to post that I hit it. 
      I recently read back through both my BP status updates and my private journal and hitting this milestone makes all the things I "worried" about seem stupid, but I know they're not stupid because they were very real at the time.  Also, I think if I didn't give these fears my full attention, I may not have been as successful as I have been to date.
      I'm about 50 more pounds off my end goal and I know that will not be the end, I will continue to strive for bettering myself in both physical and emotional ways.  I have to hunker down and get this done. 
      I'm noticing if I don't exercise every day, the weight loss stalls quite a bit.  I'm not really into the 80/20 theory with diet and exercise, I think there's a genetic modifier that needs to be applied and it's different for everyone, just my opinion... don't hold it against me.
      · 2 replies
      1. ms.sss

        Yay, @Jobber!

        ❤️❤️❤️❤️

      2. Orchids&Dragons

        Yeah! Great milestone! Keep up the good work, wishing you much-continued success!

    • allwet

      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • ms.sss  »  Krestel

      RE: the running/training
      Honestly it started with me just doing laps around the kitchen that first post-op week.
      In a week, I graduated to walking up and down my street, then to walking around the block every day.
      The distance increased, then the speed.
      Then I started running little spurts during my walks, then to alternating 1km runs with 1km walks.
      And now I can do a continuous 10k (which I totally did for the first time this morning...so full of myself about it today, it’s disgusting.)
      Just do something everyday and slowly increase speed and duration, next thing you know you’ll be one of those odd “running people” (who I never understood pre-op, but now totally get, lol)
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Trending Topics

  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs
    ×