Singles Forum

419 topics in this forum

Anybody use online dating sites? I'm thinking about it and just wondering who's had good and/or bad experiences...which sites...and anything else you'd like to share. Tell all...the good, the bad and the ugly.

So, I think I'm going to take the plunge and sign up for one of the dating sites. For all you single guys and gals, how to you handle going out on a date? Usually most people would go for dinner or drinks, 2 things I really can't do! I'll be 11 weeks out Monday and still only doing 2-3 oz of Protein at meals. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated!

My surgery date was 5/10/13 and I have lost 55 lbs total, including my preop diet. I am in my late thirties, a single mom and have been divorced three years. The last few days I have noticed that guys are starting to look at me like I am attractive. It is an amazing feeling. I finally feel like maybe I am ready to dip my toe in the dating scene. I registered on a free online dating site and have been weeding out the weirdos. I may have a lunch date in a couple of days but it is bringing up all kinds of anxiety. How do I explain that I cannot eat much? Do I say anything at all or just nibble at my food? Aside from that anxiety there is the anxiety about men. Some o…

I'm posting this in The powder Room - but men are more than welcome to read/comment. First of all - I'm 10.5 wks out from surgery. Total of 86lbs down, 44lbs down since surgery. Still have about 180lbs to go... OK, so I met a man. I haven't dated in forever. FOREVER. Too self-conscious. But I started to feel pretty cute lately since I'm fitting in smaller clothes and getting compliments, so I rejoined POF and met a guy. We've had a few dates. I like him. A lot. I haven't told him about surgery, but I have told him about becoming more active and losing weight. He's actually doing the same, he says he wants to lose about 50 more lbs... don't know what he started at, and…

Just wanted to say, I've discussed this in therapy before. Not just here. I first looked into weight loss surgery in 2010. I needed it then too! At the time, I looked at the bypass. Thank goodness I didn't end up getting it because I feel the sleeve is better. Beside the whole dumping issue and the malnutrition issue, another big reason I opted not to have the surgery was because I was single and afraid to date again at a normal weight. Let me explain more. Fast forward to now, I am now in a relationship of over 2 years with my best friend of 7 years. We live together. Neither of us want children and I'm ambivalent about marriage but he wants to stay with me for lif…

Hi all. So, as of now, I'm dating someone whom I really like, same for him, we're really just in awe that we hadn't met before and that we did finally meet (we have a LOT of friends and acquaintances in common). However, this isn't about all that, as much as I need some advice on how to deal with my sleeve, eating, etc, while "dating". From the very first date, this guy noticed that I ate VERY little, and even went so far as to comment about it twice on our first date. Since then, he has "commented" on this repeatedly, even going so far as to say to me in text the other day "you barely eat anything, i don't know how you survive like that..." This was in response t…

So I am not at this point yet. I haven’t started dating or even looking as I am still focusing on myself. But this came up while talking to a female friend that also had the surgery and is having a hard time. She says everything goes fine for the first week or two of talking and going out on a date but when she lets them know she had surgery they stop talking to here and that’s the end of it. Most of the say its not her its them and they are busy or have a lot going on. Have any of you had the same issue or is it different for guys? When is the right time to let them know? She said she doesn’t just come out and tell them she waits tell a subject that relates to it…

So, HI! My life has been flipped upside down and inside out. I have lost 122lbs and now have so many things to figure out. I have had to analyze why my weight ballooned, and I have found that I was in a very bad job that brought me back to my childhood dysfunctional family. I was also in a relationship that wasn't working. I am now realizing that being a young attractive woman that I have no more "guard" from bad people. I also trust everyone when I am happy, which is bad, very bad. I use to hate everyone, and everything because of the world treated me, but now it is easier. I am having a VERY hard time dating because a lot of the guys bring out my old qualities as…

More http://newsone.com/2605143/iyana-mentor-georgia/ Which one of you women on your two-week preop diet is this?

The doctor's office called yesterday and I was approved. I knew I would be but now this is so real exciting and scary.... I know the band is a great tool. I tried for the past 28 years to lose weight I have been on a diet since I was 10 . Sigh.... I'm excited and nervous. It seems like life will resume as normal after I make it to solids again. I already eat pretty healthy and I feel with the band I won't be hungry as often. I have been doing the research and know what my part is to make the band work for me. Now why am I so scared??? I m afraid of the unknown as this is new to me..... I told my best friend yesterday and she was hesitant and supportive I think she reacted…

I was banded 12/3/12 and took time to really focus on myself and losing weight. I have lost 60lbs and feel great. I was asked out on a date and really looking forward going this evening. However, when is a good time to bring up my band? I know there may be questions at dinner when I don't eat much but don't know if talking about is too much for a first date. I am very open about my surgery to friends and co workers but don't know how my date would feel about it. Any suggestions?

So been looking to get back into the dating world and haven't found forums to be that great so went in search of some sites. Has anyone meet people off of the forums?? I did find a dating site that was more specific to weight loss, not necessarily surgery, WLSingles, it's a dot com site in case anyone is interested. Also has a good article about when to share your weight loss story with a date. I'd post the link but I'm not to sure if that would be considered advertising but you can Google "Weight loss singles"

I have just recently started dating again after about 8 years. I am still so nervous but am more confident in myself and have more self esteem then I have ever had. I am starting to really like the new me.

Hi, I met this amazing guy online and we've been talking non stop for about.... A week now? He would start texting me at 8 am and we'd go to bed around 3 am. My question is: Sex. When is it too early to speak about it? The topic was brought up, and so I rolled with it. I am pretty open about my sexuality, but I am now left with the feeling that this may just be about sex and that I ruined a potentially good, no great relationship by answering these questions too early. We have spoken on 2 occasions about sex. It dominated our first 3 hour phone conversation, taking up at least one of those hours towards the end. Opinions please, I'm meeting him face to face on F…

I am 3 weeks post op had my surgery march 18 I was dating a guy pre-surgery that liked me the way I was before we'll there was some baggage with him but nothing I thought would matter. We'll about 2 wks post op started having trouble with him and kept leading me on and then not answering causing all these emotions to come to surface and just couldn't stop crying. We'll I finally broke it off but was leery . I am just stand offish of dating because I fear I will constantly think he only likes me because I look good and would not normally date me if I had not had surgery ? Just don't know what to do ?

I was sleeved on July 19, 2012 in Mexico and it was the best decision I ever made, a decision I would make again even knowing the severe complications I had (i.e. losing my ability to walk). It has been 9 months and I have lost 130 pounds, being less than 20 lbs away from my ultimate goal of weighing in at 150 (happily accepting further pounds off). I decided to give online dating a try now that I possess this thing called confidence and am overall happy with myself. I met a wonderful man who I enjoy conversing with, as he is exactly my type- has a healthy lifestyle, smart, driven, loves sports, etc. He has seen pictures posted, despite being a tad heavier in each photo…

I met someone online in July before my surgery. We talked a lot but didn't meet until September. I really didnt think I would meet him because he was out of my league and I have self esteem issues. He knew I had a surgery. I told him I was having a hiatal hernia repair... Which I did... But didn't tell him about the sleeve. So I finally agreed to meet him and we've been together for almost a month. He's noticing my eating habits and is becoming very upset with Me that I don't eat enough. I told him I eat until I'm full ( 3-4 bites of good protein)and eat 4-5 small meals a day. I know the right thing to do is tell him the truth but I'm scared.

It's Valentine's day and love is in the air......all this love has me thinking: How are your relationships after surgery? Has your relationship gotten better or suffered? For those dating, how is your love life, better, worse or the same? What about loose skin, how does that impact your relationship, if at all? Thanks!

I've been on plenty of fish for about a year, while I was at my heaviest. Needless to say, not much activity for me. Ironically, I just met someone who likes 'bigger ladies' now that I had my surgery on december 17th. Oh the maddness! lol I haven't told him I had the WLS yet.

Hello ladies!! So I am going out on my first post WLS date this weekend and I am four weeks post op. we are probably going to have some food and of course this guy doesn't know about this surgery. What do you all think I should plan on having. Or should I just do a coffee date? Help!!

Hi. I have been banded over 3 years and divorced 2...banding had nothing to do with the divorced..just FYI. But I am goin on dates and find it tricky because I don't eat much and don't like looking like I'm trying to eat small meals just in front of them...and waste food. And of course I don't tell anyone about my lapband until I know them well enough. So how/what do you do on a first second third date as far as eating so you don't appear that you are wasting your food but yet aren't trying to eat stuff you shouldn't. I find this tricky. Thanks

Hello, I am getting banned in January and I wanted to put this question out there. How do you answer questions to people who ask how you have lost the weight? Also, how do you approach the subject with someone you started to date after the band? Just curious.

Sooooo... I have a question, I know this is a time to focus on me, which I am, but I want to start going out and different things. So I have made my Couch potato friends join the real world and turn off Call of Duty 3, and actually go out. My question is... when is a good time to start dating? To get back on the so called "horse". I admit to being a ball buster, but the thought of actually dating is making me feel like a 10 year old leaving her training bras behind... You want it...but you dont. .... So some advice would be greatly appreciated

Yes, it has been a while. Mostly because I shied away from it, thinking that no man would want me in my physical state. I love the possibility of Love. I have my eye on a guy with great potential. I think he is too young for me. Haha...this surgery will not turn me into a cougar! Rahrrrrrr. LOL *I digress* If it has been awhile for you, how will you handle dating again?

So I am considering starting to date again and am having a hard time trying to figure out what I would say. I am a very private person initially, till I get to know you. At some point in the dating process you will be going out for a meal and your date will see how little you eat. For people that don't understand, it may be hard for them to grasp the surgery, and may judge me(possibly harshly). Has anyone told someone new that they are dating? What did you say? When did you say it(how long into the relationship)? How did they react? Any help in this area would be greatly appreciated.

Just curious......how has your love/dating/sex life been since the WLS? When you meet someone new, do you tell them about your surgery? Do you wait and if so how long? How have things changed? Better? worse? same? This is NOT intended to pry into anyone's personal life. Just interested in the responses.

To all the ladies out there, when did you start dating? I am 27 yrs old and 9 weeks post op. I really want to start dating but the idea of being intimate with someone scares the hell out of me. And how do you go on a first day when I can't really eat or drink? That's not something I want to share on my first date. I don't know, I just really want to date!

Ok so I'm newly single out of a extremely toxic relationship of 5 years but I know eventually I will start dating again and even just get out in the real world go to dinner with guys or movie even just as friends but when it gets to the next level when is a good time to bring it up should I just play it by ear or be honest from the start I have a young son who will not meet an man until I think it's right it's only fair to him just asking for some advice for some post op ppl who have kinda been in my shoes

Hey everyone I am definitely still far far away from my goal but i am just wondering whether there is anyone who feel cant be bothered to go on a date after the surgery? I know its a very silly question to be asked but after since i have my surgery and have been losing weight, i have not really adapt to my new body. Simply put i just feel still much going on with me to the point i cant be bothered to focus on anything else. My doctor only tell me about the benefit / risk of the surgery, but no one explain to me about the psychological effect from losing massive smount of weight and adjusting to new body ( especially for me who have been fat since i was a kid haha).…

I've been told I'm a cheap date lol Has anyone tried drinking with the sleeve? I hear alcohol poisoning is a big concern??

I was banded in Dec 2011. I've been a slow loser, so far down 50lbs. I'm ok with that. However, I just recently started dating again and the 2 people that I've told that I have a band, I never heard from again. I have been dating someone now for about a month, we have gone out several times and we get along great. He knows that I just dont eat certain foods (breads, Pasta, etc) and that I dont eat much, but I have not told him that I have a band for fear that it will ruin things. How does someone bring this topic up when you are just dating someone? I do like this guy and see us dating more, but is it going to scare him away as well when he finds out that I hav…

So I have been trying to hold off from posting progress pictures because I wanted there to be a noticeable difference when I finally did post. I am down just under 50 pounds (-48.2 today) Pre-op Weight: 325.0 Day of Surgery: 318.0 Today: 276.8 I apologize for poor quality pictures - all I have is my cell phone. I will be trying to take clearer pictures soon. I also have ventured into the dating world! I made a profile on a dating website and have gotten some responses. I haven't gone on any dates yet, but the guy I am interested in asked me to grab something to eat sometime soon (I'm not sure if it's a date really). I told him about my VSG today and he seemed to t…

First date with this man was over a month ago pre-op. Tonight is date #2 two and I'm 24 lbs lighter. Why am I such a nervous wreck?!?!? I have changed clothes twelve times. Wtf!?!!

As I have lost weight (down 90+ now), and my energy is returning, I am so aware of how much I would like to find a man to share my life with. I feel like I have more and more to give - and that there are so many possibilities ahead of me - great stuff - fun adventures - tender discoveries. I am almost 50, no kids, never married, and in so many ways beginning my life over again (or maybe for the first time!) What I have wanted for a long time was a family man - a guy who had a strong character, a good job, cared for his family and friends, enjoyed life and a good laugh, believed in God/church, and had goals for himself (ie. traveling, better job, personal growth, making…

I am 22 years old living in NY and I'm nervous that since I've been vsg'd that men may find me a lot less appealing since I've had this surgery. Has there been any women here that have been sleeved and found it harder to date? I know people like us Are judged, and I'm nervous that if I find a guy he may be turned off by it? I've been single for a long time and a part of this surgery was hopeful to make me More attractive as well as all of the other great things that goes with it ( having heart disease and such) I posted this thread in the wrong forum, but this thread belongs here ! :-p

Was just thinking wouldn't it be nice to have a dating website just for weight loss surgery patients and their admirers lol ya never know

Time to start dating again. I've been asked out a few times recently and have been too self conscious to say yes, even though apparently the guys didn't mind the fact that I needed to lose 70 lbs. So, from here on out I'm saying yes to dates! Heaven help me...I could be a total disaster lol! Welcome to my new and improved life.

I am 22 years old living in ny ( where men are already scarce as is !) and I'm nervous that since I've been vsg'd that men may find me a lot less appealing since I've had this surgery. Has there been any women here that have been sleeved and found it harder to date? I know people like us Are judged, and I'm nervous that if I find a guy he may be turned off by it? I've been single for a long time and a part of this surgery was hopeful to make me More attractive as well as all of the other great things that goes with it ( having heart disease and such)

This may seem like a strange question at this age. I've been divorced for about 8 years and I would like to find someone to share my next 20 years. I've dated a few times but most single men, no matter their age, are looking for women who are not obese. I'm assuming my dates didn't work out because of my weight. I would rather not think it's just me. Has anyone had Lapband surgery and gone on to date and find a partner? Did you share right away that you'd had lapband surgery, or wait until you were comfortably into the relationship? Does it even matter? I tend to look at possibilities pretty far ahead, more like prematurely. I could have asked this in the forum for…

Hello all- I'm looking for a little advice. I just got sleeved 8/20, and I'm still in the liquid stage (hoping to advance to puree stage 9/6). Because life is a comedian, I just started seeing someone new (they do say you find someone when you stop looking...) and we want to be able to eat together and go to restaurants a bit. He's been great- we've been keeping busy with non-eating activities, and when he eats I just sip my Protein shakes- but he's a total foodie and is excited to take me nice places and cook for me when I get past the liquid stage. He understands that I will only be able to eat a little, and I think he intellectually he understands that it's going…

So recently I have been asked once I lose all my weight will I still be into the type of guys I have been seeing. I have always felt that since I was a bigger girl, an athletic man or thinner man would not be interested in me I guess they were out of my league. At first I thought that's stupid, of course I will. Now that I've had a little more time to think. I am really not sure. My question is to the people that have had the surgery, have your preferences changed? How about the type of men/ women that you are dating now? This is an honest question...please do not judge.

Hi ladies! Hope ya'll are doing great in which ever stage you are at! Now that I am post-op and 60 lbs lighter-- all of a sudden I really feel ready to date! Not like I wasn't ready before, but at the weight I was at, I was nowhere near comfortable with myself and never had a guy be interested.. sad, I know. I'm 22 yrs old and never been on a date.. my life is straight outta the movie Never Been Kissed! I just feel so much better about myself and my body now! Anyway, how have you ladies handled going out on dates (eating-wise) with your sleeve? Do you explain that you've had the surgery right off the bat.. or should I just continue saying 'I've changed my lifestyl…

Does anyone find dating weird? One, dates ALWAYS involve food. Two, men always want women to eat their weight on dates or else they have an eating disorder or something. Three, I don't really want to tell people I just met that I had surgery because it's really none of their business, and frankly, people ALWAYS seem to think it's something I want their opinion on. Which it isn't. What I really need is a sleeved guy, and then we can share food. And war stories. HEY SLEEVED GUYS! SINGLE GIRL HERE. No, seriously. Does anyone feel weird, or is it just me?

I was wondering how people dealt with dating and the lapband. Eventually you would want to tell the person you are with.. or wouldn't you? How have other people dealt with this? Anyone scare off a date with lapband talk?

i am fairly new to this site and being banded only 6 days post op,but i was thinking wudnt it b great to have kind of a dating group/site/forum? that way the crzy dating scene wud be easier cuz ur in the same boat,lol... just an idea,idk if they have 1 or not

I'm recently single and I know that I'm going to start dating again fairly soon. My ex-boyfriend knew everything about my surgery and understood the fact that I couldn't eat like a "normal" person, but I'm worried about how to justify my lack of food consumption to someone new. I know that I can push for non-food-related dates, but food is such a big part of our culture, I feel like I'm going to have to sit down for a meal sooner or later! How are others dealing with this? I'd much rather keep my sleeve and weight loss private. Thank you!

I'm in a new dilemma. Weight loss, new fabulous me. I'm wondering when to disclose about band. I'm not ashamed o being banded but I don't walk around singing from te mountain tops. My issue is like today: I went on a lunch date and even though was hungry I managed to get down 3 cheese sticks and couple sips of tea. I was full as a tick. My date noticed I didn't eat much and that I don't drink from straws. He's like you need to eat next time we go out and I'm like "I don't eat alot" I just had fill 2 wks ago and I am really tight some days. What to do fellow bandsters?

How do u tell someone about ur surgery n explain all the facets of it? U know puking n stuff. I mean if the guy is attracted to u now theres a reason so. And is there a lapband dating site?

So, ive decided that its time to start dating. I'm so nervous though, how do i explain the surgery and when is the right time? Also. any ideas for dates besides just eating? Please help! amanda

Hmmm... so I am just getting to the point where I feel comfortable dating. In fact, a couple weeks ago, I joined a dating site (I didn't date for nearly 10 years while morbidly obese because of self-esteem issues, so this is a big step for me). Now my questions is, can I date a really attractive, hot guy? I seem to find myself wanting to date guys that I would say are less physically attractive than me & who I'm not particularly attracted to. I was contacted by the HOTTEST man in the universe & I told him outright that I thought he was way too good looking for me. I think I must be crazy! Has anyone else had this experience of automatically rejecting what yo…