DeterminedGirl

Okay that spreadsheet you ssriley sent I totally didn't get. Would you mind trying to send it again? Thanks so much.

For emotional eating, Eating By the Light of the Moon is the best I've read. I'm sure others will reply with other good ones. Great job making all those soups! I'm in Atlanta where it's like 100 degrees with 100 percent humidity. Soup? Don't think this is the season for it here.... Good luck to you in your journey! Stay in touch. DeterminedGirl

First, I really looked, and I couldn't find a single wrinkle. Just a big smile on a transforming woman. You look fabulous right now--cheering you on for the rest of the journey!!! Great achievement. Congratulations! DeterminedGirl

I just want to add another word of encouragement here. I've read many of your posts--kinda tough to miss a looker in a tux--and you've always been there to cheer others on, give someone a compliment, a kind word, whatever. So, today, when I read that you're four weeks away from your surgery, well,it just really shows how much you've been willing to give to others during your journey. That's pretty inspiring. I'm so glad you're in a beautiful spot that's giving you time to reflect and re-charge. You're right--peace and tranquility are things we have to carry within. Thanks for reminding me of that and for being so supportive of all of us here. We may have failed in the hunger games alone--but we succeed in the sleeve life together. Another reason why I'm on this site every single day--and why I'm am a fiercely DeterminedGirl

Hot. Totally hot. Congratulations!!!

My first meeting with my surgeon is next week--so I'm still not technically "pre-op." But I know think of myself as a "pre-pre." The "explorer" days are over! I want this surgery. That said, there are a few things that continue to spook me about the VSG. 1) I'm really trying to understand the sleeve-as-tool concept. We all go into this surgery all over the map--emotionally, physically, age-wise, whatever--and I'm assuming we all come out of this surgery all over the map in terms of motivation, commitment, and patience. Given that, what do you think makes this surgery so uniformly successful? Is the "sleeve tool" that powerful? Like, before surgery did you feel like you were clearing brush with a teaspoon and now you have a backhoe? 2) When I've been on "traditional" diets in the past, I know the moment I fall off the wagon: it's the moment when I no longer see a relationship between effort and reward. Do you feel you are better able to handle the "stalls" when they come? Do you see a faster relationship between eating right/exercising and weight loss? Do you feel more confident in that relationship? More patient? What? 3) What about that moment when you've reached goal? The applause dies down. Life goes on. I get that you can't go back to doughnuts when things get tough, but do you feel that having some form of lifetime accountability or support is necessary? Sometimes I get scared that I'll always be a fatty--after surgery, I'll just be masquerading as a thin one. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'd love to breathe the free air--without the food monkey on my back. When you reach goal, what keeps you living right? 4) Here's a really wacky question. WHY does the sleeve increase your desire to eat right and exercise? (I was going to add "and go shopping" but whoa, I'm a girl. I totally get that one!!!) Is it just the relationship between effort and reward? In other words, temporary? Or do you feel that you're really clearing the brush permanently and working on a garden that will grow for the rest of your life--without having to be weeding it every second of every day? Thanks for your help and patience. I learn so much from all of you. It's what is keeping me one more DeterminedGirl.

Okay. I'm reading through this site as much as I can every day. (I'm way pre-op--first appt in mid-Aug.) A couple of things have started bugging me, so I thought I'd ask the experts (namely, all of you!). 1. I see the there is a WIDE variance in what surgeons and insurance companies ask you to do pre-op. Which tests, what diet, how long, etc. So here's my question: is it possible to lose so much weight running through the pre-op hoops that the insurance company, which initially looked hopeful, now says, "Whoa, we think you can lose and maintain the your weight yourself?" I mean, is this pre-op diet ever a real hurdle to surgery down the pike? 2. What if you don't have the "standard" morbidities? Like, suppose someone had a life-threatening anaphylactic allergy to dust mites that is compounded by heavy weight? Or, suppose someone has had brain surgery for an aneurysm and was told that high blood pressure doesn't help in the possible recurrence of another aneurysm? I'm just sayin'..... What if it's other stuff? Does this, so to speak, weigh in with the insurance companies? 3. One of the things that really strikes me in this is that a) we're all pretty much powerless over food; we (at least I) hate being powerless; c) we decide on surgery (which is, like, a totally pro-active, life-affirming thing to do), and then, boom! d) the insurance company makes us, well, powerless again. Is anybody else really, really ticked off about this? I should add that I haven't actually experienced any of the above--okay, I've experienced #2. But I'm asking because I am trying to get a healthy mindset for my appointment in August. I really want this whole process to be one of dialogue and decision--not too much edict. Are people--surgeons and insurance--generally willing to work with you? I'd really appreciate your thoughts and insight on these. Thanks in advance. DeterminedGirl

I'm going with the earlier Wikipedia comment. That said, I think there is a huge connection between feelings and fat. And I think that connection, especially with this surgery, requires us all to be grown-ups and face it head-on (as opposed,say, to my usual strategy of brownies as a preferred coping mechanism for stress). There are a lot of incredibly bright, successful, and courageous people on this site. Ever wonder why people who can sanely and rationally take on adult life can succeed in every but this one? Me too. I'm a sharp girl, so why have I engaged in a decades long attempt at this thing I cannot conquer? Other than this (okay, and algebra with Miss Henchel in the ninth grade) I have not failed at anything else in my whole life. Mistakes? Sure, but failure? Not so much. Think I'm going to be depressed after surgery? Hmmmm. I'm gonna risk it. DeterminedGirl

Hmmmm. Re-gain? Right. I'm way pre-op (more an explorer--my first bariatric appt is mid-August), but I'm staring at 100+ pounds to lose. Like, I re-gained FIVE pounds? I re-gained TEN pounds? Okay. I could totally live with that. At my weight, five pounds isn't a) noticeable; or significant. What a blessing this surgery is! As I read these boards I'm beginning to see that REAL life--at whatever weight--begins when you change your relationship with food. Like, boom. That's it. The sleeve, as many have said, is a tool. Not a magic bullet (I wish it were, but hey.) Plenty of people say that their view of food changes effortlessly, their taste for food changes immediately, whatever. Going in, I'm planning to have to face my dragons. I'm just hoping the surgery will make them smaller, scared, squash-able. I am hanging in here, still one more Determined Girl

Everything. Absolutely everything. Here is one I will add: I would like to use a "normal" stall in a public bathroom. Enough with the "handicapped," for heaven's sake!!! Thank you for a great list. It made me more of a DeterminedGirl.

Thanks, Izuri!! This makes sense. I gotta be honest: the idea of somehow learning a new relationship with food after surgery is pretty daunting. I'm used to a pretty co-dependent, impulsive, no-hold-barred relationship. Like something healthy and independent? Sounds like magic. I think part of the reason I worry about this SO much is that, like a lot of people, I've lost zillions of pounds--and re-gained every one of them. I'm really GREAT at losing, but really, really lousy at maintaining. I posted today wondering whether the size of the sleeve matters. Seems it doesn't. Hmmm. Destiny happens by choice; not by chance. Thanks again!!!!

I just want to chime in here. Whoa. 22 years is a LONG time for his family not to accept you. Where are YOU going to be with this guy in another TWO years? By then you will have your own body, and he will have to respect that you have not only a new body, but a new life. How much he wants to join in that new life will be a negotiated reality between the two of you. Whether you let him back into your heart is up to you. You may have him in your life, but in your heart? That is a whole different thing. Whatever you decide, remember there is a BIG difference between love and trust. You may love him and go on with your life with him with forgiveness, but he will have to EARN your trust. For what it's worth, I don't believe that he FORGOT. That sounds like the very FIRST topic I'd bring up with the marriage counselor. As far as the mess with his family goes, remember that old adage: living well is the best revenge. Use them for motivation to rock that sleeve!!! Pulling for you.....

Hello everyone, What is the size of your new sleeve when they roll you out of surgery? I'm reading a bunch of research that seems to indicate that size does not matter, but I figure that research is written by a bunch of naturally thin people who do not have a clue. I would like to hear from real people who have, or soon will have a sleeve. Did you get the 32? Is that too small? Is the 40 too big? Here are my concerns: 1) it makes sense to me that the smaller the sleeve the faster the weight loss and 2) the less I will EVER have to worry about gaining one ounce back again. I get it that the EWL numbers are pretty much even. I would dearly love to know how long EVENTUAL means--and how tough it is to MAINTAIN the loss for say, four decades. As of today, I am not scared about the surgery, not about right after. But long after...now that one worries me. I want to give myself every chance to succeed. It just seems to me that the smaller the sleeve the happier this girl will be. I'd love to hear your thoughts. I am still one very DeterminedGirl

Wow. Thanks to all of you!! I am going to print out your replies and put them in a binder to re-read when I am (hopefully) post-op. What all of you said not only gave me a new way to think about the sleeve, but you also helped me focus on some new things. I see now that this is a process, a partnership, and a commitment. (I was still kind of hoping for a magic bullet.) And you helped me focus on what I need to do to learn to live the life. That is big. Really big. Just as important, you let me see that regardless where I am in this process, there are wonderful people who will hear and help. So thank you for your insights, your wisdom and your experience. Thank you for taking the time to share with me from your heart. I promise to pay it forward. More than ever, I am one DeterminedGirl.

Thanks, all of you, for your responses. I really am so touched by your compassion. Many of you describe that "switch" that clicks in your head with this surgery--and then it's different with food. Thanks, too, for helping me grasp the idea that somehow your body--since you cannot stuff it anymore--reprograms, reboots, restarts. I want that!!!! I cannot imagine a single day without waking up thinking about what thing I am getting at Starbucks--and it is not, like, the oatmeal and a bottle of water!!! (And that's just Breakfast....) I have my first appointment with a possible surgeon (Dr. Paul Macik here in Atlanta) on August 14. That was his first available date. Until then, I promise to read everything I can, ask more questions, and learn everything I can from all of you on this site! Thanks again, DeterminedGirl