So I am not at this point yet. I haven’t started dating or even looking as I am still focusing on myself. But this came up while talking to a female friend that also had the surgery and is having a hard time. She says everything goes fine for the first week or two of talking and going out on a date but when she lets them know she had surgery they stop talking to here and that’s the end of it. Most of the say its not her its them and they are busy or have a lot going on.

Have any of you had the same issue or is it different for guys? When is the right time to let them know?

She said she doesn’t just come out and tell them she waits tell a subject that relates to it comes up and slips it in.

I am just interested in what you all think since it might be some help later on for me as well.

Oh la la my kind of guy!!!

And I like a mix of carpet and hard woods <img src='http://www.bariatricpal.com/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/tongue.png' class='bbc_emoticon' alt='' />

Laura -- you do make me laugh!

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As harsh as she put it I have to agree but she coulda said it a little more tactful.

Moi??

If it were me, I wouldn't actively seek to share or hide that bit of information. I'm a super open person and and I find that it comes up naturally in conversations all the time. For me, I wouldn't want to be with somebody that couldn't handle being with a sleever. Truthfully, I wouldn't respect them as a person.

I guess I think of the surgery as a huge change in my life. Something that I'm sharing with family and close friends. I can't imagine not telling someone that I'm dating. When to tell them, I'm not really sure. I do wonder though if the guys she was dating were really shallow and were worried that she was going to gain weight or if it would just be too much baggage to deal with? There's a whole game show called baggage about the junk we we carry from our past. We've all got it, when you bring it up is always a huge question. When do you tell them that you have a mental illness? When do you tell them that you've got an alcoholic mother? When do you tell them that you've been divorced or have children? I think it's really all a matter of your own preferences.

Tell your friend to keep trying. A respectful and worthy man who will appreciate her is out there!

As a single guy, to be honest I don't think I will be telling anyone I date post surgery that I've had WLS. It's not like I'm not telling them I have an std or something that is medically relevant to them.

If I had, say... Laser eye surgery 5 years before we started dating, am I required to tell the person? It doesn't affect them in any way, shape or form.

On the other hand, if they notice scars, or ask why I eat so little, then I'm not gonna lie about it either.

I don't think I would try to keep it a secret. Obviously we don't need to tell our dates about our entire medical history, but this is something that does effect our daily interactions with them. It effects how much we can eat and what we can eat. If we have to keep secrets like that from the person we are dating, it's probably not going to be a healthy relationship.

And...why are there all of these woman posting in the Man Room?

I don't think it's lying. If you didn't have wls and lost 100lbs with diet and exercise, would you have that conversation?

Like I said before, if she asked I would absolutely be honest. But why should it matter to her if its in the past. Would you tell her you had your tonsils out when you were 5? It shouldn't matter.

At 8 months out, I think I could go on a normal date and do normal date things without him knowing. I'm married...so no dates. But my life is pretty much back to what a normal life should be now. I can tolerate most foods (in smaller portions) and a glass of wine without any problems.

Sorry, please disregard previous post. I didn't see this was in the man room...sorry.