Skip to content
View in the app

A better way to browse. Learn more.

BariatricPal

A full-screen app on your home screen with push notifications, badges and more.

To install this app on iOS and iPadOS
  1. Tap the Share icon in Safari
  2. Scroll the menu and tap Add to Home Screen.
  3. Tap Add in the top-right corner.
To install this app on Android
  1. Tap the 3-dot menu (⋮) in the top-right corner of the browser.
  2. Tap Add to Home screen or Install app.
  3. Confirm by tapping Install.
  • Appearance

Join BariatricPal free

  • Ask your own questions
  • Reply and follow topics
  • Message other members
  • No cost, no spam

The disappearing act

I know there are a bunch of us doing online dating.

I started talking to this guy who lives in Portland which is 4 hours away from where I live. We talked every day for 2 weeks, sometimes morning and evening. This is really against the rule I have for myself, which is not to waste a lot of my time on the phone with guys I've found online.

This guy was different though. He was funny, and smart. I decided I wanted to meet him and my son lives in Portland, so I decided to visit my son and DIL. Right up until the day before I was ready to go, we were in contact and he was all for us meeting. All of a sudden, he doesn't text back and the phone goes straight to VM.

Being the smart cookie that I am, I arranged to meet some other guys while I'm here. I found guys whom I normally would not contact since I live so far away. I made sure they like to dance. Out of 4 guys who were writing every day, and all for us meeting, only one has not disappeared on me. Two of them I forced to write back to me when they suddenly stopped answering emails. It pi$$ed me off that they would just take the easy way out. I wrote to them and said if you've changed your mind, you could at least write back and say so. I was disappointed I would not be making a new friend, but life was full of disappointments.

I could understand it if we were in our 20's . But men in their 50's and 60's not having the manners to form an email that said it was not going to work out to get together after all, kinda makes me sick.

  • Replies 34
  • Views 4.8k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Most Popular Posts

  • CowgirlJane
    CowgirlJane

    How annoying. I guess people fade away because until you meet it is all just a fantasy. I suspect they are not genuine - either married or they don't look anything like they said or some other reaso

  • Sharon1964
    Sharon1964

    I too, am swimming in the cesspool that is online dating. The worst I think was a guy that disappeared in the middle of a conversation. In the middle. Boom. I just tell myself I dodged a bullet

  • My first thought is that the dude is married and chickened out...luckily for both of you. Understandably frustrating, but you dodged a bullet.

Featured Replies

Same applies to me - it's very rude to not come through with specific plans etc. but stopping correspondence either before meeting or after 1-2 dates is pretty typical.

And until there is a relationship I would expect maybe dating others. In fact,one of the gentleman I am seeing..I wish he would date others because he is starting to drive me just a little crazy. Ha.

I still come back to people aren't all that real until I meet them. I will actually forget I have a message from someone and have"dropped out" of communication unintentionally even - again this is the before meeting chat. There is someone who keeps saying he wants to meet but after 2 weeks, nothing, so I stopped writing. I am not looking for penpals.

I think men are talking to several women at once and when they begin to date one of them (or more than one), they vanish on the others. I have had dates where we both knew that it wasn't going to work and neither tried to contact the other afterwards. I have also vanished on guys before I have met them. However, I have never stood anyone up or even made plans to meet someone without genuine intentions. That is just rude.

Sent from my KFJWI using the BariatricPal App

Probably married would be my guess!

I know there are a bunch of us doing online dating.

I started talking to this guy who lives in Portland which is 4 hours away from where I live. We talked every day for 2 weeks, sometimes morning and evening. This is really against the rule I have for myself, which is not to waste a lot of my time on the phone with guys I've found online.

This guy was different though. He was funny, and smart. I decided I wanted to meet him and my son lives in Portland, so I decided to visit my son and DIL. Right up until the day before I was ready to go, we were in contact and he was all for us meeting. All of a sudden, he doesn't text back and the phone goes straight to VM.

Being the smart cookie that I am, I arranged to meet some other guys while I'm here. I found guys whom I normally would not contact since I live so far away. I made sure they like to dance. Out of 4 guys who were writing every day, and all for us meeting, only one has not disappeared on me. Two of them I forced to write back to me when they suddenly stopped answering emails. It pi$$ed me off that they would just take the easy way out. I wrote to them and said if you've changed your mind, you could at least write back and say so. I was disappointed I would not be making a new friend, but life was full of disappointments.

I could understand it if we were in our 20's . But men in their 50's and 60's not having the manners to form an email that said it was not going to work out to get together after all, kinda makes me sick.

catfish!

Sent from my SM-G900T using the BariatricPal App

@@Oregondaisy

Please don't give men your home number. They can use it to find your address. Get a google number and have it forward to your landline. Give them the google number only until you get to know them.

Join the conversation

You can post as a guest; create a free account to track replies, follow topics, and be part of the largest weight loss surgery community.

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

Account

Navigation

Search

Search

Configure browser push notifications

Chrome (Android)
  1. Tap the lock icon next to the address bar.
  2. Tap Permissions → Notifications.
  3. Adjust your preference.
Chrome (Desktop)
  1. Click the padlock icon in the address bar.
  2. Select Site settings.
  3. Find Notifications and adjust your preference.