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When to tell someone you're dating about the band?



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I was banded two weeks ago, recovery has gone as expected and im back to work and almost normal activities - but taking it slow. Im single and in my 20's, recently an acquaintance of mine asked me out on a date, he wants to grab coffee at starbuck's. Now im fine going out on the date and getting a caffine free tea, but if all goes well ill assume he will be asking me to dinner soon. Im still post-op liquid diet, soon to be soft diet. But I guess the ultimate question is - when do I have to tell this man about my surgery? Im pretty open about it with my family and friends, only people at my office don't know about it or other's im not really close with. Anybody have experience with this? I don't want to scare him away

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Unless you are getting married to him he doesn't have to know until that time. You don't have to explain why you are not drinking coffee or not eating. It

s a first date and you don't know if it will get serious. You need him to like you for you right now if you want it to be serious at some point. I would not tell him until farther down the road and you know it is going to be something serious.

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Just have fun! No need to tell him if you've had a root canal or your appendix out or anything else.

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Yep, agree with everyone else. No need to share it. I have coffee all the time with ff milk for added Protein. Since a cup of Soup is plenty, I have no problem ordering the cream of...mushroom,broccoli ,lobster bisque etc. my husband cracks up every time we eat out- because the bill is usually under 5 dollars for my meal. So many restaurants put their menus on line now, you can figure out ahead of time what item to choose that's right for you. Good luck! Awwww so sweet...first date!,,,,

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Enjoy! YOu don't have to tell him until you are ready too! Enjoy that coffee girlfriend! or just grab a hot tea if you are more comfortable with that

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And please make sure to let us know how your date goes!!

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i wouldn't tell someone this new in your life. you have no idea how he will handle it. you don't want to become the talk of the office. it's no ones business. order Soup. because you like it and its cold. have fun on your date. but as my wise mom said to me when i started dating as a teenager. it's nobody's business about you or your life. your life is just for you to know. have fun.

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Thanks for the advice everyone, sadly the guy ended up cancelling the date and stopped replying to my text messages. Not sure why, but ive cut my losses and summed it up to he isn't ready to date, or is seeing someone else. Im fine with it and looking to move on...

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I've been dating a guy for 2 months he is a great guy have I told him I'm banded hell no. When we got out I order Soup or foods I know for sure I can handle. I told him from first date I eat very clean and that I think covers my odd choices. Even told him I juice 1x a month to cover my fills when I really can't eat anything. He offered to juice with me on those weeks as well. Super sweet but don't know when I'll tell him if I will... It's a big issue for me very few people I know know from my mouth I have been banded . Even At 38 yrs old first dates are nerve wracking :) just have fun on ur next date

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Only speaking as a guy, if I wear into you the news that you were banded would have as much effect as hearing you had a root canal.. As in, maybe some curiosity, but it wouldn't weird me out or anything.

I know I don't speak for all guys, but I feel that unless he's a total chav he probably won't care that much.

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Thanks for the advice everyone, sadly the guy ended up cancelling the date and stopped replying to my text messages. Not sure why, but ive cut my losses and summed it up to he isn't ready to date, or is seeing someone else. Im fine with it and looking to move on...

Sorry to hear this. It is fun to have someone new in your life. I actually took about four months after surgery until I started dating again. Just wanted to focus on myself. And once I started again I found relationships go better when I use restraint. I don't text much, no social media, and still go out on my own. I don't like to play games but more often than not guys like a little chase and don't want to be your only focus.

As far as telling about the Lapband I think you'll know when it do it. It will develop naturally in the conversation. My current guy knows as we were talking about using myfitnesspal to help lose weight and the conversation just lead to me telling him. And we had been intimate before that and he had never mentioned my scars which are very visible. And his reply - I think that's what my sister got done a few years ago. And that was it.

Best if luck on your journey

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Sorry to hear he cancelled on you. For me, very few people know I've had the surgery. Since he is from your office and few people know of your surgery I would have waited till you know how things were going to work out.

Like the other suggestions - for now in the mushy phase order Soups. Look online for nutritional info and descriptions. I've even emailed the company for suggestions when I couldn't find something and they came back with something that was not officially on the menu but it's in their computer! (Chipotle will let you order 1 taco - I just don't eat the shell... It's like a mini burrito bowl and it's only $2.50).

His loss your gain. Good luck in future dating endeavors.

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