Hello,

I was sleeved Oct. 23 2013, I started to date a guy about a month ago. Its starting to get serious and I haven't told him about my sleeve. It's not that I am ashamed of it but I don't know if he needs to know, right now. So, I have been holding off on telling him. He is really sweet and sometimes he will make a picnic or lunch for us but I can only eat most of it. Which make me feel bad that he went through all this effort to do something awesome. Yet, I know I can't eat it. We are planning on going a little road trip to watch a basketball game and he wants to take me this really nice restaurant and I am not sure what to do.

Should I tell him or should I wait? Am I being dishonest if I don't tell him?

Disclaimer: I was married when I decided to get the sleeve, but I will still give my opinion incase it helps you.

First off, congratulations! Dating so so exciting. Even though I love my husband and the comfortableness between us, I remember how much fun it was when we were still getting to know each other and everything was new and shiny. YAY you!

If I were dating (and this is just me) I doubt that I would feel comfortable telling my boyfriend just yet because we're still getting to know each other. I guess it's kind of like talking about exes. It's not that you're ashamed of the last person(s) you dated, but you just wait until you know each other better.

I think of my life as a movie and while people are always invited into the "theater" you have to earn a front row seat. For me, time is the best way to determine who deserves front row.

Because the decision to get sleeved is one of the biggest, most personal, emotionally/physically/mentally challenging things I have ever done, I choose to only allow four people into the front row (husband, parents, best friend) because time has shown me that I can trust/count on them.

Anyhow, that's just my opinion. You will of course have to decide for yourself. If you feel very comfortable with this man and your gut tells you to tell him, then go for it. But if you do tell him, I would recommend that you tell him everything, like how we do pre-opt diet, the weeks of post-opt diet, how much work it is. Before I had WLS, I always thought it was a quick, easy cure.

It was my best friend who brought me back to reality (she has the lap band)

Whatever you decide, I wish you and yours well.

My experience: My husband died 6 yrs ago. 2 yrs later I was lapbanded. I started dating at almost a year out and 80 lbs down. I didn't feel the need to tell my coffee dates but I told my meal dates. I just casually mentioned it. Im proud of what I did and I would tell anyone who would listen. My "now husband" of 2 yrs knew when we met at 2am for coffee. I just felt comfortable telling him.

If it were me, Id tell him. U said it was starting to get serious. Wouldn't u want to know such an important thing in HIS life? I would think it would be a whole conversation.

Just my opinion. I dot hide it. Good luck and yeah u! Congrats on fidning someone special...

Loalexylee, welcome to BP!

My opinion, if things are getting serious, then why not? I would just tell him the bare basics, and only more if he asks. Don't want to scare him off with the gruesome details. Keep it light and matter of fact. I would say something like "I just want you to know I am a cheep date! I can't eat that much because I have had stomach surgery.... or weight loss surgery. I am healthy and fine and ready to eat! (a little). If that scares him off or he has a negative opinion about WLS, then its better to find out now. Have fun and let us know how it goes!

Edited December 29, 201312 yr by feedyoureye

Loalexylee, welcome to BP!

My opinion, if things are getting serious, then why not? I would just tell him the bare basics, and only more if he asks. Don't want to scare him off with the gruesome details. Keep it light and matter of fact. I would say something like "I just want you to know I am a cheep date! I can't eat that much because I have had stomach surgery.... or weight loss surgery. I am healthy and fine and ready to eat! (a little). If that scares him off or he has a negative opinion about WLS, then its better to find out now. Have fun and let us know how it goes!

Exactly. Don't u want to know now if he's #1 freaked out about wls or #2 a chubby chaser that will not be attracted to u when ur thin. They're out there. I was once asked by a date if I could have my lapband out (same guy asked me if I was still ovulating - at age 43. A little creepy on a first lunch date)

Again, just my opinion