Who here is post op and had issues with men, (or women:) ) not wanting them because of there weight. Do you you do online dating now/before surgery? Are you having more luck now? What are you telling dates? Thanks:)

Not all men are the way you describe. I have mostly dated men from other countries or racial backgrounds than mine because every other country or race in the world, except the typical white american or European men, like their women softer

I love your word "softer" much better then mine ( fat or overweight). I will always refer to myself now as a kinder "softer" person. Really that is a terrific way to reference ourselves when we weigh a bit more then Twiggy! Thank you for that!

Who here is post op and had issues with men, (or women:) ) not wanting them because of there weight. Do you you do online dating now/before surgery? Are you having more luck now? What are you telling dates? Thanks:)

In my case I was 360lbs at 6'2" and my wife was 145lbs at 5'11" when we met 20yrs ago, I was 440lbs at surgery. I'm now 210lbs and she has expressed that she is no longer sexually attracted to me because she likes big guy's. I am at a loss for words...

Frank..I am so sorry, it is hard to understand.

I have heard of similar instances such as you expressed here Frank. Not being an expert on this topic or anything close to it I cannot express this in professional terms, but instead wonder myself if this is her way of trying to hold on to what seems secure to her. As you lose weight you become more confident, etc. and she fears you may become more attractive to other women. She loves you and does not want to lose you. You being 360 lbs makes her feel more secure then you bring 220 lbs. be sure to make her feel special no matter what you weigh and let her know she is the only one for you. Nth at may help.

Frank that's terrible, I hope she can see how wrong that is! Easy for me to say because I just like men... Not picky Enough! The shallowness of judging based just on appearance just makes me sad

I'm fascinated by the whole online dating thing. I'm married so I don't have the first clue what it's like but I have a friend that does POF. It seems everyone meets online these days. I really believe there is someone for everyone and how great that the world becomes a smaller place to find then. I realize (or so I have been told) that the grass is not greener.

I tried plenty of fish, 3 days later I deleted the acct. Was not the place for me!

I hear ya' Cowgirl... it's harder when it seems like everyone you know is married and all their friends are married... very different scene from 20's or early 30's when there are still a lot of single people around. And I think some of the guys in the 50's area want younger trophy types anyway.

I think it's funny how many guys on the online sites post pictures of their cars or fish they caught or motorcycles... things that other guys would be interested in. Just who are they trying to attract anyway??? lol

My favorite was the guy with the walker and oxygen tank

Men are men, no matter what country or race they are, they want their women to be slim and not be over weight. Its like this especially in the Indian culture. If I was thin like a decade ago or even in my early 20s, I would have been married by now...sad but true, appearance is the first thing people see no matter where you go even if its for dating, marriage or work.

Men are men, no matter what country or race they are, they want their women to be slim and not be over weight. Its like this especially in the Indian culture. If I was thin like a decade ago or even in my early 20s, I would have been married by now...sad but true, appearance is the first thing people see no matter where you go even if its for dating, marriage or work.

not all men, I like my ladies with curves..not into bags of bones..sorry

I agree that every culture that is greatly influenced by western culture does prefer slimmer women. Pornography, movies and marketing advertises sexy and beautiful as very slim women.

I also believe that the first thing people notice is how they feel when they are around you. I tend to make people feel relaxed and even admired because I genuinely love meeting people. I think that inward beauty can be seen and felt.

Most of all, the confidence that I feel is from within. I believe that I am a beautiful woman inside and out because God made me that way. I used to feel ugly and unattractive but after all I've been through in my life, I feel very accomplished and loved. Also, my dad helped me so much. I think that maybe you should try to find the beauty inside yourself and share it with others. You should stop seeing yourself as overweight or unattractive and realize that while man looks on the outward appearance, God looks on the heart and that's what is the most beautiful thing about each person, what's inside, not what's outside.

I agree that every culture that is greatly influenced by western culture does prefer slimmer women. Pornography, movies and marketing advertises sexy and beautiful as very slim women.

I also believe that the first thing people notice is how they feel when they are around you. I tend to make people feel relaxed and even admired because I genuinely love meeting people. I think that inward beauty can be seen and felt.

Most of all, the confidence that I feel is from within. I believe that I am a beautiful woman inside and out because God made me that way. I used to feel ugly and unattractive but after all I've been through in my life, I feel very accomplished and loved. Also, my dad helped me so much. I think that maybe you should try to find the beauty inside yourself and share it with others. You should stop seeing yourself as overweight or unattractive and realize that while man looks on the outward appearance, God looks on the heart and that's what is the most beautiful thing about each person, what's inside, not what's outside.

I dont deny a single thing you have said but in reality, men prefer slimmer women. Slim doesnt means bones either where I would have said skinny or a stick, slim can be gracefully thin or slender. As far as loving myself, I do love myself and I did this surgery for health reasons and also I dont want to be rejected cause of my looks and people do reject people for weight reasons. No matter how much you think its true or not, but its reality.

After losing some weight due to my surgery, I am loving myself even more...if we didnt love ourselves, we wouldnt go through this surgery. I would have sat on my ass and not done anything about it....

@@JeanZ_RN

You go girl! Sounds like you jumped in with both feet first!

Wishing you crazy success in finding just what you're looking for!

Ginger

Can we get a couple dating threads going? I've lots of computer dating stories. Last saturday my date took me to Lowes. The hardware store. And a Dairy Queen cone.