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irish1988's Blog
 

Getting Ready

I am getting more excited and nervous as every day passes. I have not set a date yet though as I still have to go to my last two appointments before I can meet with the surgeon. I hate waiting. My last appointment was on the 3rd of October but the doctor rescheduled to the 5th. Not to bad, but still. I have my stress echo test where they hook me up with some chords and have me do some work on the treadmill. Then I have to go to see a cardiologist just to check out my heart. And I still need to get my blood work done. Then, after that I can FINALLY meet with the surgeon and have a consultation. Hopefully from that point I can set a surgery date. I think the worst test was the sleep apnea test, being hooked up to all those chords and then that sticky crap they leave in your hair. Then there was the EGD where they put you to sleep and stick a camera down your throat to check out your stomach to see if you are capable of having surgery. I was originally going to get the lapband, but I have been hearing so many bad things about it and the sleeve just seems like such a better option. Reading all the success stories and seeing the before and after pictures are really inspiring. So now it's just a waiting game, being patient and some more waiting. I hope that when I have the consultation with the surgeon I don't have to set a date a long time from now. I want to get it down NOW! I want to start my new life! I am ready for this! My size right now is 285 with a waist size of 46 inches. I am excited to watch all these things go down.
irish1988

irish1988

1
Tink RN's Blog
 

Weight And Depression

So which came first...my obesity or my depression? Tough call - seems to go hand in hand. Lets just say I finally hit rock bottom and I have got to reclaim my life. I have struggled with my weight my entire life. In high school, I more or less became anorexic. I never was a puker, I just wouldn't eat. Even at that time I was a size 10 at my smallest. (Yep..."big boned" chic to boot lol) Since high school, my weight has fluctuated. I will lose weight, then gain it all back plus some. I was blessed with a beautiful daughter in 2009 and my weight has ballooned out of control since. I weigh what I weighed when I was 9 mths preggers?! Other than work, I avoid being in public as much as possible. Any time I am out and about, I feel like other people look at me and think, "Ew. Gross!" People treat you different when you are heavy. Men don't make eye contact and smile while they hold doors open for you. People in general have a different demeanor when they are interacting with a fat chic. I miss feeling attractive. I want to have energy to play with my daughter. I want to stop avoiding social functions because everyone is Facebook happy and "tags" horrible photos of me. I want to feel like my sweet husband is attracted to me and proud of how I look. I want to enjoy shopping for clothes. I want to feel NORMAL!!! This isn't living. I feel sad and I have horrible self esteem. I have my first consult with the surgeon tomorrow for the vertical sleeve. I have started the process of all my insurance requirements (Cigna) and gathered paper work from my PCP and the Bariatric clinic I have been a card carrying member off intermittently since 2009. So...here I am. I am sure many of you can relate to my story. Any good vibes sent my way for speedy insurance approval are greatly appreciated. I look forward to getting to know you guys and sharing our journeys.   ~Tink
Tink RN

Tink RN

4
desertmom's Blog
 

Week Off

So i have realized that I am obsessive about weighing and measuring and proteins and carbs and my poor family is on a diet and have been since I have started the crazy measuring and weighing of everything in July.   I now have given myself a week off.And just now my 11 year old and myself will be going to the beach and we will have hamburgers on the beach for dinner tonight.   And we will be going out a few times this weekend and I will eat whatever,but not too much.   This is the only way I am going to find this satisfaction level that I had with what I was eating for the first 4,5 months.This also prevents me from nibbling and constantly looking for something nice,which I still dont know what exactly that is.   So,I will be relaxing a little until Sunday which is monday here and then I am going to start low carb and ruthless exercise program to gt rid of this last 38 pounds.
desertmom

desertmom

0
Sleeved by Dr. Kelly in Mexico
 

Week 26 (And Finally At 50 Pounds Lost!)

Week 26   Last week’s weight – 198.8 This week’s weight – 194.8 Total weight lost this week – 4 (happy dance!)   Beginning weight – 246 lbs Total weight loss since surgery – 51.2 lbs   Woo Hoo….I finally broke the last few weeks of yoyo’ing and hit the 50 lb mark in my weight loss (half way to goal!).   I definitely did it through drinking a lot more water. I am still doing CrossFit as my main form of exercise (3x a week). I can feel myself getting stronger and more coordinated with the exercises but I definitely have to scale back a lot of the workouts. I’m ok with that mainly because I would like to be tone and stronger and not bulky.   My eating hasn’t been too bad this week. The hardest part of the day, for me, is getting home from work. Usually I am either bored or trying to avoid housework or homework so eating sounds good (luckily with my sleeve I am extremely limited with what I can eat). I don’t always make the best choices though.   I now officially fit into size 16 pants (from a 22W!). I bought 16’s from both the Eddie Bauer outlet and Target and they fit fine. I waffle in shirt size from a large to an XL. I bought a L from Eddie Bauer and stretched the crude out of it over the back of a large padded computer chair we have (it was tight across my belly fat). It is still a little tight across my bosom but I wore a sweater over it so it wasn’t too noticeable. Speaking of bosoms, I’ve gone from being at 42DD to a 40D (so I’ve had to buy some new bras).   Until next week!
mrsteacher

mrsteacher

6
bellalizza's Blog
 

13 Weeks & My Return To Oa

i hit the 50 pound post-surgery milestone this AM... totally stoked!!! 50 lbs in 13 weeks... averages 3.8 lb loss per week but in reality it came off very quickly in the beginning and i've hit the more gradual 2 lb/week loss pattern for the past month. (exactly 10 pounds in the last 5 weeks) and even then that isn't the whole picture because i will still have a week where the scale WILL NOT BUDGE but then all of a sudden.. BOOM! 3.5 lbs disappear! so... from this i gather my body has it's own rhythm it's falling into... shedding weight and holding on to it according to little secret hormones and weird balancing acts and such... it gets reeeeeally frustrating at times but then i remember how my body has it's own way of doing things and take it easy on myself knowing that a big loss is right around the corner. sometimes i do get a little freaked out... old ways of thinking come back... telling me that i had all the weight loss i was ever gonna get... the surgery did all that it could and i'm on my own now... pretty weird thoughts i know... my mind has a lot of catching up to do... i had my first "skinny" dream just the other night... before surgery, after my first child was born i had a great deal of success (aka physical recovery) with OA (overeaters anonymous) and it was there that i was introduced to the idea that a person can be addicted to sugar. i can see my food addiction narrowing in on either booze or sugar and frankly, both prospects scare the **** out of me... i read all about transferring addictions when i was prepping for surgery... Kaiser does a fantastic job of giving you the straight dope about post-surgery obstacles and transferring addictions is a biggie. so... it's time for OA again... i am scared. and i'm not sure why. on the surface it's a time commitment that is gonna be hard to squeeze in right now... but since i'm being so honest, i'm really just scared that i will be judged for having my sleeve surgery. my ex-sponsor was very openly anti-weight loss surgery. it was kind of a big "no-no" in my local OA community, supposedly it was a Higher Power thing, like a person who decided to have the surgery was taking their will out of HP's hands and doing it all themselves... i don't want to be judged for my surgery. period. and in my heart, i believe that my Higher Power put everything in place to help save me from killing myself with food so that i can now focus on getting and staying sober from deadly foods and behaviors... any OA sleevers out there??? i'd really love to hear from you...   thanks for reading! xo bellalizza
bellalizza

bellalizza

1
rabrijumo's Blog
 

Post Op Update From September Members

Dang a lot has been going on with everyone. As I posted before my surgery went great, I got all my horrible complications pre op starting with MRSA scare, a fib episodes, injuring my SI joint during my IVC filter placement, and busting my toe with the scale in the br right before my surgery. Post op the worse pain has been my SI joint pain, I am able to walk very well, passed my leak test, tolerating clears, and been burping away from the start so no shoulder pain just occasional burning pain around my q pump. I am not hungry at all my taste buds are fine so far and I still love to chew ice and tolerate cold so I am happy about that. I love being able to drink sip sip sip no problems but I do take everything slow. I have used my incentive spirometer like a religion and am almost back to pre op levels. I talked my doc into keeping my pca through the night tonight cuz the SI joint was still hurting a lot but that got better today spontaneously and I am not using it much so I feel fine about switching to oral pain meds tmr. Hope to go home tmr not sure when I will know. Oh my blood sugars have improved greatly and my Bp is normal so I have refused the Bp med they wanted to start cuz I Think it will bottom me out and my nurses agree. That's my story and I am sticking to it!
rabrijumo

rabrijumo

0
angelize's Blog
 

Pre-Op

hi all,my name is jenn and i was just searching for lap band info,when this site popped up. my surgery is scheduled for oct5,2012 and i am very excited about it. a little nervous about some unknowns,but i went for pretesting today and they pretty much answered the remainder of my questions. i still am a little confused as to why every surgeon has a different pre-op diet....mine put me on a liquid diet starting on sept 21....2 wks prior to surgery.... my starting weight,before the 6 months of doctor visits was 265...into that first month,i had some unrelated problems with my hubby,and ended up losing 15 lbs,only time i ever lost weight was when i was stressed out!! so that put me at 250 going into my 2nd month.during the 6 month round,i lost 5 more pounds. so,i started the liquid diet on sept 21,at 245 lbs....i started on a friday and weighed myself on sunday morning...down 5 lbs....i know its prob all water weight,but still today is wedesday and i weighed myself this morn....down another 4!! so of course,this got me thinking...if i can lose this much,this fast,why have the surgery???? and although my hubby didnt say it...when i told him how much i lost, i know he was thinking the same thing!! sigh,....but i know myself...i'll do good the first wk or two...then say..oh i did so good,i can have some chips...next thing i know,the whole bag is gone!! so, i will continue on my journey to weight loss the right way one thing that i find very strange on this liquid diet is....im not hungry,but i want to eat!!!!!!!(im drinking about 4 shakes a day and having a small salad for dinner...im allowed 2 cups of veggies per day).... i really think that i just miss the idea of sitting down to a meal...its weird! i can't wait for the day to come when i eat less than my 10 yr old daughter!! my goal is to lose about 100lbs,and be like 130...im 5foot 4...so thats actually a little high,but i'll be sooo happy with that! but its really not even about the number on the scale,although that will be a plus....i just want to be fit and toned again...i want to be able to run on the treadmill thats been collecting dust in my basement...i wanna take kickboxing classes....i wanna NOT have swollen ankles that make it so hard to even walk for a little bit....and most of all....i wanna be able to keep up with my very energetic 10 yr old daughter....instead of just sitting down and watching!!!
angelize

angelize

2
300 Pounds down
 

The Advice Of Others

I think one of the hardest things we deal with is the advice of others who may mean well but often don't understand why we need surgery.   Click below to go to the blog   The Advice Of Others
300PoundsDown

300PoundsDown

2
sissy12's Blog
 

Been Missing In Action

I thought I'd update, work and life have been busy, I think the last time I blogged here was right after my first fill, and I have my 2nd one in five more days.   I've lost 34 lbs. since my surgery at the end of June. My struggle with exercise is an on-going thing, I just can't get myself to just do it.   Eating is easier as in I don't do a lot of it, I don't think about it much and when I do it's because I have to go out to eat. That has always been the hardest for me, making good choices when I'm looking at a menu and then at other people's plates is HARD, but I'm doing it. Last week at a birthday dinner I had a salad...actually it was lettuce and dressing...because everything else on the menu was not for me. Everyone else enjoyed the family style feast of fried chicken, mashed potatoes, BBQ chicken, baked beans, buttery green beans, chicken fried steak and biscuits...that was like my own version of hell for about two hours, but I did not put a single "bad" thing into my mouth. While everyone left there stuffed and feeling gross, I left with a happy tummy and a happy heart.   When I got home I had a little grilled chicken, and it tasted amazing.   Another victory...I'm thankful.
sissy12

sissy12

0
dylanmiles23's Blog
 

What Is Normal?

What is a normal weekly weight loss for a bander? I was banded 7/30 and have been losing 1-3 lbs. per week. Is this normal or just normal for me? I see my surgeon and dietitian this Friday. I have not had a fill yet. I hope to go onto stage 5 of the meal plan also. I miss salad, bread, pasta and pizza. I hope they are allowed. I know small amounts but I would like to have them back. I do miss my Dunkin Donuts ice tea, which had caffeine. I brew my own decaf every day, I drink a lot of ice tea with Splenda. I also like Dairy Queen soft serve ice cream. What do others miss that you gave up when you were banded? Have a great day. Happy New Year to all.
dylanmiles23

dylanmiles23

2
Mimi's Journey 07/03/2012
 

The Simply Bar....ugh!

I got the Simply Bar "Caramel Peanut Protein Bar." 16 g protein, 150 cals, 3 g sugar, 4 g fiber. Tastes worst that card board. I do not recommend, even with the protein fix.   I'm still traumatized by the taste. I'm so glad I did not get a whole bunch.   DEFINITELY A THUMBS DOWN..... I'm rolling with Atkins. They are my protein bar winners for now.....
Mz_Elle

Mz_Elle

1
IsaacsGram's Blog
 

Less Than A Week To Go And Finally Told Sons

I have two sons and one daughter. My boys are the oldest, Eric is 31, Adam is 26, and Rachael is 23. They are all adults and I am proud of all of them. My daughter was one of the first people I told as we have a close relationship. My boys were both in the Army and are very physically fit and active. I had chosen not to tell them of my surgery earlier as I feared their reaction and the look of disappointment from them. But I finally came out to them this week. Adam lives in Anchorage, Alaska and I had to tell him over the phone, which was not the best situation. He was confused at first, then started with the questions, "Why?" "Can't you just go on another diet?" "What if something happens?" . So I tried to explain the physiology to him and eventually just tried to describe how my heath could be improved over the long term with this procedure. After we hung up he texted me that he is just worried about the possibilities of something going wrong and he's not ready to lose his momma, but he understands that I need to improve my health and he supports me 100%. It made me cry. Then the next night I went to dinner with my oldest son and his wife and my grandsons. I had already told his wife the week before (and I think she let the cat out of the bag) and while sitting in the living room before dinner (just he and I) I said I needed to come clean about my surgery that was coming up on Monday. At first he said he thought my surgery was later in the month but then he said, "ok?" . I said I will be having more than a hiatal hernia repair, actually the surgeon will be removing a large portion of my stomach. He just looked at me and said "ok". I said this is to help me not only lose weight but to maintain it over the long term. He said, "ok, is it anything I should be worried about?" I said, not anymore than any other surgery. He said, "ok". THAT WAS IT.   I don't know if I'm relieved at his reaction or saddened that he apparently doesn't care. I'm trying to stay positive and think that probably his wife told him already and he had gotten over the shock before talking to me. She is a nurse also and Eric is so VERY not medically inclined. I think its ok he doesn't know, or care to know, all the possible complications.   Now I feel like I've told everyone that matters and I can go into surgery in peace.
IsaacsGram

IsaacsGram

0
Short and Chunky's Blog
 

Fall Is In The Air...

Well, Fall is in the air and it is turning a bit cooler here in North Florida - today it will only be 90 rather than 95..woo hoo. I am still struggling with my concussion and my neck injury. I began PT yesterday and hopefully I will be able to returning to my regular exercise schedule soon. I see the bariatric surgeon on Friday and I hope to get my fill back. He had to remove most of it when I got my concussion (too much throwing up and it closed off my opening). Well, I found about 3-5 pounds (won't weigh myself - afraid too) and I certainly know why - absolutely NO RESTRICTION and like most of us..no restriction means open season on foods that I have not been able to eat for over a year. I know - SHAME ON ME - BAD GIRL...QUIT IT,,,I have told myself all those things but, I did not listen. Hopefully on Friday the doc will filler-up and then I will have no choice but to quit. Shoot, I can even drink while eating - crazy - that's not even important to me, but I am doing it !!!!!   Now, the Neurologist has me on some medicine (for headaches and mild seizures caused by my fall) that is supposed to make me hate food and carbonated drinks (as a side effect) - ha ! that should be a good one. I am waiting for that to start kicking in. Maybe that will actually be a good thing out of this whole mess. We will see.   All kidding aside. I have really had a rough 60 days. Head/back/neck injury - no exercise - no fluid in my band - down in the dumps - constant pain ! Well, I am tired of being a victim. I am going to take this bull by the butt and take control once again. I don't care if my head hurts - I'm going to start walking my miles again and I don't care if I have no fluid in my band I will force myself to pass on those yummy things like cookies and pizza. I have come too far to let a bump on the head cancel all this out. It is just not worth it. Shoot, I have even avoided coming to this website (like you guys would know I was being bad) just to avoid being accountable. That is just plain NUTS. So folks, the Pittyparty is over..It may take months for me to completely recover but I don't have months to waste (not at 61 years old - are you kidding me ?) so I am headed out for a walk.   Take care my friends and have a great week. Please know that when things get rough for you, they are rough for all of us. We all have our "times" when things go south and we have each other to pull us back to reality. Have a great week everyone and do your best - that is all anyone can ask of you (including yourself).   Melinda in Florida
Short and Chunky

Short and Chunky

0
Dig It Dog
 

Its Official

Its Official, I have been De-banded. Unbanded? Evicted from Bandland?   whatever you want to call it, I'm here sitting on my bed, recovering from VSG surgery (26 days post op) without a band in my body.   I've started a blog on the vsgtalk website http://www.verticalsleevetalk.com/user/12946-luphoe/ so we can continue this conversation there.   I'm so proud of everyone I've met on this journey, through this site, my September band-mates, as well as everything that i've learned. I'm still around for questions and convos just at a new location. Good luck to all my friends, old new and those i haven't met yet.
Tanya_cotto

Tanya_cotto

1
Dig it Dog
 

Day 26 Post Op

I think i should start with a quick recap since I've change from lapbandtalk to vertical sleeve talk. Basically i had the Band placed on Sept 30 2011. I had dreamed of nothing but being best friends with my band, holding hands and skipping in the park, towards a healthier me, but the band had other ideas. We were the best Frenimies, it would push and shove while i held on for dear life, but i loved it for everything it represented: a new life, love, cute clothes.   You can read some of my past entries to see just how dark and miserable and unhealthy i had become with the band. My hair was falling out, my nails were white and flaking off, i was pbing, sliming, and vomiting everyday. I had a developing food phobia, and i wasn't eating nor drinking enough so my grades suffered (in college), my body suffered and so did my sanity. The worst part, my weight was always within 10 pounds of my surgery day weight. it never moved past that.   This past June i decided to see what could be done after getting so tired of being tired and sick. I made an appt with the surgeon on July 10th to discuss my options Had insurance papers submitted within the week Was approved shortly after and was scheduled for surgery August 30, 2012 One month short of my bandiversery.   Its bitter sweet now. I'm 26 days post op, down to 243 from 251 (surgery day weight) I'm not hungry like i was with the band, but i do feel pain when i'm "empty" I'm always drinking, but sometimes i get so frustrated with being thirsty that i gulp a bit too much and regret it immediately.   Today was the first time that I've thrown up with the VSG and i realized that i needed to blog again. I'm PMSing as well, so everything is bloated and tender (including incision sites) And I've hit that 3-4 week stall weight wise.   I never know what too eat what i can eat what i'm allowed too eat so sometimes i just stay 'hungry' so i don't hurt anything.   I have realized though, that the extreme decrease in food has made me rather lethargic, but when i do eat, i feel like its thanksgiving night, all full and sleepy (and slightly stretched) I'm assuming its part of A) being a woman , healing slowly , and C) not getting enough protein.   The one upside i felt within the first week Post op is that i am so much happier! i think it was in part just the relief of having the band out of me. Before the band, Way back to when i was a kid, i Hated vomiting! so much so that i'd hold everything in, even if it made me feel worse. Having the band and throwing up everyday for 11 months just sucked. I'm still tired, but happy and healing.   And wondering if there is a VSG shopping list, or approved food list, Someone to please tell me what and when to EAT!
Tanya_cotto

Tanya_cotto

4
Yanet Lopez's Blog
 

So Mad With My Self!!!!

I had my surgery done in January this year.since then I have only lost 30lbs,had 3 fills done I walk 3 times per week,I'm eating salads all the time and I don't see any changes can some body please give me an opinion .!!!!thanks
Yanet Lopez

Yanet Lopez

4
cindimca4's Blog
 

Day 19 Post-Op, Gassy, Spent, Dreams Of Ex, Trouble W/ Protein

Today, I am spent. First thing, I woke up upset,(with heartburn) having dreamt of my ex-husband, whom was a rotten prick, but whom I loved with my whole heart. I dream of him too often, but I can't help it. I've been divorced over 7 years, but I took my vows seriously, and though we had an incredibly difficult life beyone what a jerk he was, I still have a part of me that grieves, and it comes out in my dreams in the form of having him in my life...but in a way that I wished he would have been. I don't know that these dreams ever go away. I do know I am still emotionally riding a roller coaster, and that most of it is from the drama of this surgery and the whole long, drawn-out process. I just hope that the Lord is preparing a wonderful husband for me for someday in the future...a man that I can love with my whole heart and get that in return. I would never want anything less.   Went for a walk this morning, then to Walmart and did actual shopping. I had to empty the cart myself, which meant bending and lifting...not what I planned to do. I couldn't push the cart up the hilled parking lot, so my daughter had to do it. She would have unloaded the cart, but I had promised her pumpkin poptarts-as a treat of the season, and she went to get them and was not at the check-out. So, that tired me out, further. Then, I rested at home, and had no desire left to cook anything like I was originally planning, so I helped make some dinner, and the twins did the rest, while I rested in my recliner with all my pillows as comfy, warm cushions. I had a little leftover broth from Friendly's for breakfast, a super low fat cheese stick that I melted to oblivion before swallowing, which made me feel uncomfortable. I had also tried to eat a Jello Active pudding for a change of pace but those just don't do it for me, anymore. I'm so sick of protein shakes, and my daughter got out the cappuccino powders, and low and behold, they are to be made warm/hot! I don't like coffee, ever since I was pregnant with the twins, but I said, "fire it up" and she did! I enjoyed it and we added a half tablespoon of non-alkalinized organic cocoa powder and it was wonderful. I warmed up in my chair, and felt good enough to take my son to scouts...but once there, I quickly fell back to pain and even holding my left side to cough wasn't enough.   We sat in the van and I listened to the sounds of summer and felt the breeze through the two open windows, while listening to songs that require singing by the listener,....in an effort to be positive and enjoy myself. I had also taken another cappuccino--vanilla flavored--but it was not as good as the earlier, amarretto one. So, I didn't drink but half of it. I was hungry, still. Then, we got home and my son, who is still coughing, took four times the dose of cough medicine that he was supposed to. While I was concerned and know the proper course of action, my nerve finally snapped and I yelled at him to drink the water and get ready for bed. I just couldn't take one more thing. I felt bad and apologized for yelling...then he asked me if he was going to die, and said he understood I was upset....well, that made me feel worse, and I assured him he is ok, and that this happened one other time and he just has to drink water and sleep it off.   So, my belly gets hungry and has since a few days after surgery, but I am sick to death of protein shakes. What I wouldn't give for some tuna, or chicken, or a hot dog. I don't even need the carbs...just some actual substance...but then again, I'm terrified of things of substance making me sick. I still have this wretched gas that appears every time I eat or drink. The gas makes me feel stuffed and hungry at the same time. I did mix up a different protein shake, but accidentally put milk in it instead of water and it's goopy...so I won't ingest that. I had a greek yoplait and it was tough to eat, one lick after another off the back of a plastic spoon...with all the gas I'm feeling. Additionally, I have some heartburn this evening, as well...probably from not eating enough protein, and one of my incisions is leaking a mustard colored clearl liquid--which I read could be liquid fat coming out...iew, and ok, then!   Then, I wonder if I'm ever going to lose the weight. I woke up this morning, having gained .8lbs. It's probably from the salt in the broth, but still. Then I saw pictures floating across the computer screen when it was in down mode, and some of them have me much thinner and bigger, and the same during other times in my life...and at all those times, and even when pretty small, compared to now, men still found me repulsive, and undesirable...like when we went to the monster truck show...I love those shows, but all the bimbos there had on skimpy tight shorts and bikini tops...it really was disgusting. Then, when going through the autograph line, the men were rude to me, and my little children...and sweet on the skimpy biotches. I felt horrible about that...and I'm feeling emotional about losing weight, and if it will be enough, and getting emotionally tangled up, I realize at this moment, about things that don't even matter...but about things that bothered me when I saw those pictures. Also, when my loser ex-husband came back from overseas, I had pulled my life together and had lost quite a lot of weight, and then he said, 'you lost a lot of weight, I don't think I want a divorce anymore." Well, I layed the law down for him and told him what I expect of a husband...which wasn't what he was willing to give...so he went forward with the divorce, which was fine by me, but very upsetting.   It's just been so hard, my whole life a mess, starting with my father holding me down, beating me and forcing me to eat deer meat and mashed potatoes, and then when I was so terrified and upsed, I'd throw it up just to be forced to swallow the throwup....all the way through to being with the wrong kind of men and being judged for my size. One thing is for sure, I would never want to date a man who wouldn't date a bigger woman...how would I know if a man is kind to bigger women or not, I don't know, but I do know I need to get this crap I'm struggling with out of me....and leave it there...and build my life for me....care for myself for my health and the well-being of my children. I just wish I didn't have so much crap in my life all these years....adding being an orphan to the pile, and being abused by so many people, and abandoned, and then raising two special needs children, along with the loss of a child and so many others. I don't wonder how I got this way. It's just sad, and I want to be out of physical pain so that I can really work to move forward. I did not expect this amount of pain...it makes me feel vulnerable, and shed tears now and then, and I'm not used to that. I find myself leaning on the Lord and praying a lot about whatever comes into my mind. Apparently, whatever that is needs attention beyond what I can give, so I give it to the Lord...and get a hug from my best friend, my child....and person for whom I have tremendous respect, love and admiration. I hope to be as great a woman as she has been becoming. I am truly blessed by my children.   Tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it, a clean slate with which to move forward, and that's what I intend to do...starting with cooking an egg like the one that I enjoyed so much the other day...got to get that protein in.
Angelmom

Angelmom

2
CARE333's Blog
 

Be Apart Of My Research

I am working on my Master's of Science degree and hope to gather several responses.   Would you like to be a part of research by sharing your experience after gastric bypass surgery? The survey is completely anonymous and asks questions about your body image perceptions and alcohol usage one year after having bariatric surgery.   Just click on this link or copy into your browzer to complete the survey.   http://nnu.us.qualtrics.com/SE/?SID=SV_aXzZzHDDZiajdC4     Thank you in advance for contributing to this all important research. Feel free to pass this survey opportunity along to anyone who has had the surgery.   Warm Regards, Northwest Nazarene University
CARE333

CARE333

2
Linsey B.'s Blog
 

Tomorrow Begins Week 5

Today wasn't my best day food wise I was okay no over eating. I just have a lot of emotions and financial worries so I feel depressed. But I am trying to list in my head all my blessings. I really have only one complaint and thousands of blessings so it puts things in proper perspective. I am so used to numbing out or distracting myself with food and now that it is not an option. I feel grateful for that, it is nice to have a clear head even if it can be painful, but pain forces me to choose a path and not be stuck in the same old place. I am going forward slowly but surely. So I choose to be grateful today, for my family, for dirty jokes, for computers, my dog, my love of books, my wonderful friends, and the list goes on. Well, week 5 begins tomorrow I can officially eat soft fruits and veggies so yay to that. I am looking forward to going swimming tomorrow. Monday was my first day back at work so grateful that no one was too evil to me on the phone. Tomorrow I go back praying for a quick 8 hours. I really want to find a different line of work sitting down 8 hours a day sucks and I am about done with it. I am staying for the remainder of the year for insurance reasons but after that I have to move on for my own health mental and physical. I don't have any weight lost to report since I don't own a scale. I don't want to be focused on the scale or my weight, I refuse to be upset by a number. I have no more pain and can walk 2 miles without dying and no more high blood pressure. My life is better after this surgery especially my health and that is awesome.   God Bless everyone everywhere, All my love, Linsey :wub:
rickgrimestwd

rickgrimestwd

0
The Woman in the Mirror
 

Lack Of Support From Family Md

I've known my family physician for 20 years and he's the MD of my parents and my brother. He's the one who mentioned WLS, in passing the last time I saw him. Well today I had a follow up with him and I mentioned I was having the Lap Band and he was little annoyed with me. Firstly, before I had stated that I wanted the Lap Band, I told him I was considering WLS which he supported, but he wanted me to have Gastric Bypass. Faster weight lost and it's better for the morbidly obese... Crap, am I morbidly obese? He said the Lap Band are for those individuals who have under 100 pounds to lose... Really?.....So I brought out my research;)... His response: I've forgotten that you love to read.... After, he heard my arguments and my points, he then proceeded to tell me that I can have it done free in Quebec since our provincial insurance pays for it.... I found out this lately but there's a waiting list of 2-3 years...not interested..... He's upset with me because he does not know the MD, so I provided him the name and the phone number to call him, which I know he will never do, he's too busy.... However, he seemed a little irked with me, but, stated he hope I do well, but the failure rate is high... Sigh...I literally had to remind him with any WLS, failure is an option if you do not change your lifestyle, which he agreed, we then ended with if I'm planning to have kids and I realized that this man has been part of my family for too long, my mother is rubbing off on him... Anyways, I remind him not to say anything to my mother, which pissed him off further since, he mumbled he is a doctor and patient confidentiality.... But just to be sure.... So now I have more motivation... A Lil surprise for my MD at my 1 year check up;)
Anew77

Anew77

5
roxa's Blog
 

It's Approved

I just found out today I have been approved for my lapband. Now I am really terrified and keep thinking "is this what you really want?" The thought of giving up my beloved food and having to be healthy is scary. Anyone else been there? Is this normal? Then I think "oh I can just go back on my Atkins diet and drop some weigh"t but I know I would put it right back on. This is a huge lifestye change! What if I fail?
roxa

roxa

3

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