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Psych Appoint

I had my psych appointment today...one more thing checked off. It was a good appointment and I was given some very good advice for long term success. Should be getting submitted to insurance very soon!!! I hope it gets approved. I also attended my first support group tonight. So many helpful people. I love to hear everyones stories.

cbd

cbd

 

Staff Lunch & Dinner

So, I've had 2 staff lunches this week, and have done pretty well overall. I had tomato bisque soup the other day, and pea & barley soup today. I'm not sure either was very filling because I didn't eat a lot, but I didnt want to take a chance & eat something that would make me uncomfortable, or God forbid, stuck   The pea & barley seems to have given me a little gas in my stomach. Yes, I've been passing gas for a few hours now. Not every single minute, but you know...often.... Is this normal?. So lady like, I know...LOL.. I wonder if anyone else has trouble with gas after they eat?   For dinner, I'm having 1/4 cup of pollo adobo with just a "tiny" bit of rice. I don't want the wild rice to fill me, so I'm keeping it to a very bare mimimum. I'm actually using a tea cup plate, and eating VVVEEERRRYYYY slowly because this is my first real piece of a harder food. And yes, I hope I've learned my lesson, and am chewing, chewing, chewing. I don't want another one of those horrid stuck episdoes.

Domika03

Domika03

 

Enjoying The Little Things

I'm sitting here, working in my home office, dressed in jeans and a soft, thin, brushed red sweater. Why is that such a big deal? Well, because the jeans are size 16 and the sweater is from American Eagle, size XL. These are normal sized clothes and they aren't binding or pinching or look gross. I look normal.   I'm still 200+ pounds and have more to lose than I have thus far, but this is just so awesome. This is the first time in 15+ years I've worn normal clothes and felt so comfortable.   I love my sleeve. I love my surgeon...........and I love my hubby most of all, because thru thin, emaciatedly thin, thick, thicker and thickest this man has loved me for me. When I was so uncomfortable in my own skin, when I was a younger me, angry with myself for what I felt I had done to myself..........this man loved me. And I sit here now, happy as can be, sipping tea, wearing jeans with a soft red sweater...............enjoying the little things...........and the littler me.  

Ready?Going..

Ready?Going..

 

One Week + One Day Post Op-On My Own!

My mother left at 7am this morning. My hubby left for work at 8am. So here I am all by myself. Well, thank goodness I'm feeling better. Slept about 6 hours straight without having to get up and take pain pills (tylenol). So at noon, after I made my own lunch, pureed chicken salad, I found my car keys and went to the store! Woot Woot! I can still drive! LOL. Felt good to have my freedom back. Unfortunately was only at store about 10-15 min and had to leave-bowels were talking to me-and they said "Let's go!". I have stopped the stool softeners but I have had really loose stools the last 2 days. Better than no stools-which I did for 6 days. I'm wearing my Danskin 8 inch binder with a washcloth folded over the area on my left that is still bothering me, it seems to be working. Looking forward to seeing my surgeon Friday-got some questions!

IsaacsGram

IsaacsGram

 

First 2 Weeks Post Op - Nothing Like I Expected

Let me start with this; no matter how much knowledge you accumulate before this surgery, you can’t be fully prepared as to what will happen after surgery. I went through and read so many posting of people struggling with food, cheating, wondering why they hadn’t lost weight. I couldn't understand how someone could go through this surgery and do that to themselves. I knew I would NEVER jeopardize my health or my new little sleeve after surgery by cheating or going off the Dr.’s plan...   Surgery went great, I lived through it and recovered quickly with the most pain being the first few hours after getting out. Within days I was able to take normal drinks of liquids and stayed on a liquid diet with no hunger until Monday morning (4 days out).   Tuesday I ended up eating five saltines and boy did I beat myself up for it. I called my Dr. and begged for them to change my one week appointment to Wednesday instead of Friday because I physically felt like I could NOT wait all week to start full fluids and protein shakes. Appointment got changed. Wednesday morning I went and saw the PA and she said I was OK-ed for full liquids and soft foods. I was 16.8 lbs down at the first week visit. So that day I had two eggs and several bites of my husband’s country fried steak for breakfast. Two hours later I felt famished and had some more of his country fried steak. I continued eating eggs with cheese, slivers of crockpot roast, pan fried chicken w skin, lunch meat, cheese, turkey jerky bites, salami w cream cheese rolled with a pepperchini topped with green olives ( I ate around 25 of these over a five hour period, felt like I couldn’t stop eating them). My sleeve tolerated it with no problems. I realized the insane cravings for copious amounts of food came from me being on my period. Btw, weighed Monday morning and I GAINED 5lbs, not surprised in the least.   Sunday Day 10 comes and it was a HUGE turning point. Went to my Grandpa's to celebrate a family birthday and He made tri tip, a whole ham, all the sides. So I put a slice of ham and tri tip w green beans on my plate. I start with the ham and green beans, I get an ounce of ham down and get a terrible fullness and gas in my stomach. Strange, I never had that before. I literally could not eat anymore and I felt sick. So I go home and my husband’s friends are over and they make chicken and mushrooms for a late dinner. I eat a small piece of slightly greasy chicken and 10 mins after I am in the bathroom puking.   FINALLY!!!! I feel like my sleeve is working. I get totally full off 1-2oz instead of the 4-6oz I was consuming. I am shocked. The hunger is minimal and comes up around the 3 to 4 hrs after last meal. Insane! The last few days it’s been hard to get to 400 calories, are you kidding me?? I didn’t think it was possible judging from the four day binge I went on. I also switched back to softer food. I know I was justifying food as soft that was not in the soft category. Now I'm eating tuna salmon, baby shrimp and eggs. I lost 2 1/2 of the lbs I gained.   I honestly do not know why there was such a delay in me feeling the effects of the sleeve. It took a long time for me to be able to pass gas, almost 6 days because my bowls were having problems "waking up" after surgery. Maybe my stomach did too? This is my husband's theory and it is the only one that makes sense as to how I was fitting so much food in and never feeling satisfied until Day 10.   I did NOT plan on sharing this with anyone. It is embarrassing and shameful. I jeopardized my health because I didn’t get control over my hunger. But I decided to share because maybe someone else out there is new out of surgery with a ravenous appetite and might possibly be able to relate or learn from my mistakes. More importantly I would hate for anyone to feel as hopeless as I did, thinking that this surgery was a total mistake. During those few days I would not have trusted anyone had they told me things would get better and eventually my hunger would subside -- but it DID! Every person's body is so unique and will be different through this process. For some of us it takes longer to reap the benefits of this surgery. And trying to distinguish between real hunger and head hunger is no joke, I think this will take years for me to deal with. But there is a light at the end of the tunnel. So keep jugging along... I think can! I think I can!

TamaraS

TamaraS

 

Hungry. Hungry. All The Time Hungry.

I'm hungry. I'm full AND hungry? I can't tell. I had a nightmare about being hungry and the too long, wait forever long, wait in a restaurant for of all things a hamburger and fries. What?! In the dream I got so mad at my husband for tipping the waitstaff I almost walked home!! WOW.   That's some heavy emoting. I find protein shakes taste better after they've chilled in the fridge. The get more dissolved, smoother, and tastier. Better too with the colder flavor.   I don't want to eat as often as my stomach calls for it. I feel like a dog on a chain. But if I put off eating -- in my case, I'm still drinking -- I just feel more hungry, more panicked.   So, that's where I'm at. I'm looking forward to eating when I can consume foods with higher calorie density.   I am well aware that I am in the period of forming new habits so I am trying not to sabotage myself. For example, my dad gave me some baby back ribs (frozen) and I keep thinking about putting them in the oven because I know that would do the trick -- fatty meat = being satiated. But I leave them in the freezer because it's not time for meat, yet. (much less pork ribs, lol)   So I am just going day-by-day. Committing to one day at a time on liquids. Making my protein shakes thicker, hoping that will do the trick. Other liquids, like cream of chix, hardly seem worth the bother because I am suddenly hungry within an hour afterwards. Yet I find the warmth soothing; so I guess I'll keep on with the soups.   I didn't think I was going to be hungry all the time. In fact, I thought just the opposite. But I guess . . . whatever . . . body knows best. I'm complaining but really, truly, things are going great. I'm not sick. I've got the sleeve! And so on...   Say a quick prayer for me, if you can.

sheila2050

sheila2050

 

One More Day/ My Past

So, tomorrow is my surgery! This week has been so incredibly long it is ridiculous. The liquid diet kind of kicked my ass, but I stayed on top of it. Keeping the final result in mind was the only thing that kept me from slipping up.   Support from my friends and family was something else that I really needed. At first I didn't even think that I needed so much support from them. Because, I figured if I wanted to do it, I was gonna do it, and that would be that. But through the last 14 weeks I found out who is really happy for me and who really isn't. Which is good. I guess you could say people's true colors came out. Even if I considered them to be my sister, doesn't mean she is going to agree with everything I do. Even if she has seen everything that I have gone through...   Whatever. Not many people even know that I am getting this done. Which is good. I am comfortable with the few people that know, that are close to me. Seven people know about it. and One person told me it was stupid and that I didn't need it. Supporters: Mommy
Grandma
Evan
Rosalie
Brittany
Linda
Others: Lauren
______________________________________________________________ I am trying to figure out whether or not I should share the past with everyone. Which I guess would be healthier. In a way. To talk about it again, and let everyone into my struggles as a child and a teenager. To give you a back story on what has lead me to this decision and why I believe so strongly in not judging someone by their cover.   When I was two years old, my Mother and Father got a divorce. I lived with my Father, because he had gotten primary custody. I visited my Mother every Tuesday night, and every other weekend. When I was four, my Father met my Step Mom. She lived up in the Catskills and we would take weekend trips to visit her, and her daughter. Her daughter was older than me, by eleven months and she was one of those kids that never made a mess. She didnt know who the Flintstones were, and if there was one thing out of plave in her playroom, **** hit the fan. I thought this was awesome, though. I had a new best friend. My new sister. Eight years went by and my sister and I grew closer and closer and we had a new little sister and a new little brother. But it was painfully clear I was being treated differently by my Step Mother. Linda, my friends Mother was like my "other Mother". I would go to her house and talk to her about everything that would go on in my household. Which she knew. Because she was best friends with my Step Mother. I told her everything in confidence and she always kept it between her and I. She used to joke about how I was Cinderella. I would do the chores. i.e. Mowing the lawn, Cleaning the gutters, emptying and filling the dishwasher, cleaning the bathrooms every week, vacuuming, dusting, vacuuming the pool, and taking care of the chickens. Which I never really complained about, because I always knew I would be able to know what hard work gets me. And how important responsibilites were. While my "golden child" older sister was treated like a princess. Catered to, showered with praise, and put on a giant pedistle. And, to be completely honest...She was nothing special. But, i digress. I always tried my best, and I worked hard at home, as well as at work. I tried to please everyone around me but it was never enough. Never enough for my Step Mom. I was never "perfect" enough, or good enough at academics (like the princess) I slept too much, I ate too much, I was too fat, I was too lazy. Nothing was ever good enough. For the "evil" Step Mother. Soon, I couldn't take the abuse anymore and I stuck up for myself. And I told her she was wrong, and had no right. We argued and argued, and when we were done, she called my Father. Telling him that I attacked her. And that I'm a spoiled brat. I moved out the next day. To my Mother's house. Thats when my eating went down hill. Depression kicked in. And I was miserable. On October 2nd, I saw my little Sister, Brianna, and my little Brother, Mitchel for the first time in two and a half years. I saw my Father for the first time in seven months, and I wasn't allowed to speak to any of them...Because the Step Mother was there. Everyone always tells me I'm really strong. When in reality, I'm not that strong. I just deal. I don't see it as the end of the world. Don't get me wrong, I miss them like crazy. But I know that things will change. Who knows where I will be with my family this time, next year. All I can do is think positively. And thats what I'm going to keep doing.

Morgan La Shier

Morgan La Shier

 

Personal Journey

I have learned that the weight loss journey is very personal. Yes, we can glean support and some answers from people on this sight, but what works for them may not be for you.   Each of us has our own issues with food that lead to us becoming obese and each must deal with those issues inside of us. That is so hard, especially if those issues have been there for many years.   We can go through all the psych evals in the world, but nothing will prepare us for the journey - the ups and downs. It's human nature to compare ourselves to others, so then the question and frustration start - well so and so lost dat-ta-dat in 3 months why haven't I.   Weight loss is dependant on so many things and I have studied and googled every thing I can to learn. Basically what I have learn is what I have always known in order to lose weight I must have a calorie deficit. That being said I never really knew how many calories I needed a day. Through research I found that you need to know your BMR- they amount of calories you would burn if you just stayed in the bed all day long. I always make sure my calories are below my BMR. But because the BMR is based on your height, age, weight each persons will be different.   So I have started to look more at me, not everyone else. I have stopped compairing myself with others. I look to me, what me I do, what must KIM do to succeed. I am the only one who can be successful for me, I must take responsiblity for my actions or lack there of. If I fail, I fail- not my doctor, not this site, not my nutritionist, but me because I failed to take responsibility for me.   So today I take resposibility for myself and I will be accountable for what I do or don't do. I will celebrate my success and I will look at my failures as a learning tool.   Support is awesome, but we must look at ourselves and into ourselves to make the changes we must to be succesful on this journey!   I wish you success on your Journey and I hope that I can help you on your road.

Kime-lou

Kime-lou

 

Did Not Loose Weight This Week !

I'm having Danon Light and Fit yogurt with the protein shake an hour before in the AM. Then i have tuna or chicken salad with 4 crackers for lunch, then if i want something else i have sf Jello or have a piece of string cheese, for dinner i have my protein shake and maybe some chicken broth. I'm definitely not eating that much but no weight loss this week.   Could i be doing something wrong ?? Please get back to me, i would love to hear everyone's opinion regarding the food intake and what you all have experienced.     Thank you !!

anayortiz

anayortiz

 

Focused On Food Vs. Focused On Food

food. The little f as opposed to the big F. When I'm in the mood to eat, I can throw down. I would refer to that as FOOD.   And I drink when I eat. A LOT. I mean, like I can easily go through 32 oz of liquid. I have been this way my ENTIRE life. When I was little my Dad used to say to me at the table, "put down that milk and eat!" lololol.... yeah, it was like THAT.     I love bread. I mean, it's my favorite thing - even over anything sweet, or pasta. Bread is the perfect food when you need a little something but you don't want to cook it. A little PB and you're good to go. A little bread and butter and that salad is much tastier. Do I have to never have it again? Like, ever? What is the cut off to quantity for me? Does everyone who has surgery give up bread? I think I can live with limitations, but I have to have some complex carbs. I only have one kidney and I can't endanger that one little kidney trying to keep up with all that protein.   I'm wondering if having this surgery means giving up everything but protein and vegetables. I just don't think I can be that perfect. I'm human for Pete's sake!!     I'd love to know what other people have done in order to help the process of the VSG post surgery.   Thanks for reading.

LinSmargiassi

LinSmargiassi

 

Vomiting!!

my surgery was fri oct5.....ive been ok...a little gassy....very sore,but otherwise ok....until today.... everytime i try to drink something,i feel sick....had water and vomited that....tried diet v8 splash,had a few sips,immediately got sick.... tonight,i was able to hold down half a cup of chicken broth....felt sick after,but didnt vomit.. my question is....is this normal?? or should i call my doctor???

angelize

angelize

 

Why, Hello Collarbones, It's Been So Long Since I've Seen You!

The only excuse I have for having totally dropped of the VSG website is that life has gone absolutely NUTS (as in working 6 days a week at my full time job, and doing wedding cakes for my side business) and the fact that my computer hates this site. It locks up like crazy everytime I try and bounce on to check out whats going on. *rolls eyes* At some point I'll get around to fixing that....   So what's been going on with moi, you ask? Well, my sixth month surgiversary is nigh (2.5 weeks away!) and I am down 85 pounds and a hell of a lot of inches. I actually slipped into Onederland about 2 weeks ago. That was....hard. You would think I would have jumped up and down (if you heard a strange noise at 5am EST that was me, squealing like a little girl) but I actually had a mini freak out. My dad had this surgery and I know that he had a hard time mentally as the pounds slipped away. A sort of brain/body disconnect that stressed him out (he's better now). I didn't have any problem as I slipped down into the low 200s...but something about going below 200 freaked me out. I didn't realize how much my weight was wrapped up in my self-image (duh, right?) and that I used it as an excuse to not engage the world. When I no longer had that my subconscious was sucking on its thumb, rocking back and forth while clutching the metaphorical blankie at the 'stressful' idea that I was becoming 'normal'. And that maybe the cute guy at work was flirting with me the other day. *blush*. So after having a very stern talk with my subconscious, taking away the blankie, and putting tabasco on it's thumb we are both finally on the same page. Granted, I'm now dealing with sullen teenager subconscious, but whatever. (Yes, I'm joking. I realized after re-reading this that my metaphor made me sound like I had multiple personalities. Frankly, if I had multiple personalities one of them had better be a kick ass Valkyrie. Or a dragon. Or Xena. Sometihng much more interesting than a sukly subconscious with thumb-sucking issues. But that's another blog entry....)   So now I'm at 195.2 with 55 more to go. Did I mention that I (and other people) can actually SEE my collarbones?! It's been so long since I could see them underneath my skin that I find myself constantly touching them (as if they're gonna disapear or something). I felt so stupid as I realized this after I got out of the shower and was brushing my hair. I had looked into the mirror and though, "What are those weird bumps under my skin". Yeah, facepalm time. *laughs at self*. Still, very, very cool. Also, as a side note, does anybody else notice how uncomfortable it is to sit sometimes now? I swear my butt is so boney and I'm not used to sitting on it rather than all the extra padding that used to be there!   So what else is going on in the Life Of Lyra? I haven't been able to exercise much in the last few weeks because I got Tboned in a vicious gocart accident. Don't snicker! It was horrible! My friends and I were on an adult gocart track where the things go up to 20 mph when I got clipped which caused my gocart to flip horizontal to the track. Then this douchebag Tboned me and promptly started swearing at ME! The harness that we wore went over the shoulders and crossed at the waist and chest area. Basically the force of the hit caused the buckle of the harness at chest level to dig into my ribs and cracked them. I literally had a bruise the size of my open hand across my ribs. Along with black bruises going over my shoulders, across my stomach, and on my legs. Plus a 'rugburn' across my neck where the shoulder part dug in. Lots of pain. Then (as if I wasn't in enough trouble) I got bronchitis. Has anybody ever had to cough with cracked ribs? Yeah, it sucks. Major. But I am now on the mend and am looking forward to running soon.   So what have I learned over the last 5.5 months? That this was the best decision that I have ever made. That I actually enjoy eating mostly veggies and fuits and that a girl really can happily survive without pasta and pizza in her life. That physical exercise is fun. That the amount of food restaurants give out is nauseating. That life is amazing! That in a few weeks I turn 30 and that for the first time in 10 years I feel....worthy. That I am not damaged and all the things that used to make me grab a snickers bar and stuff myself are not worth it. That life is beautiful and crazy in all its mysteries and that I CANNOT wait to see what happens next. I think I'm going to join a dating site, or maybe even get up the nerve to ask the cute guy at work out. I'm joining a kickboxing group with a friend and some other friends and I are going to take climbing lessons. And I'm going to FINALLY buy a pair of zipup knee high boots, because my calves FIT IN THEM!   Oh, and this time last year when I was humiliated at the State Fair when I couldn't fit in any of the rides and had to get off in front of all those people and I went home a cried all night? This year those rides better watch out! I've bought 2 full packs of tickets and I plan on using Every. Last. One. Of. Them. *wicked smile*

Lyra

Lyra

 

Got My Surgery Date!

I got my sleeve surgery date! It's November 6, 2012 at 10:00 am. I'm excited, nervous, and scared. Not sure how the Holidays will be this year after having my surgery! I just want it to be over, and start healing, and get to a new, healthier, smaller me!

NewBeginningsForMe2012

NewBeginningsForMe2012

 

Pre-Op

Intial Appointment Met with Case Coordinator Chest X-Ray Upper Gi Ultrasound Blood Gases Breathing Test Pulmonologist Met with my Surgeon Sleep Study Nutritionist Psychological Screen Cardiologist PCP Approval Surgery Date Set Insurance Approval   I'm really struggling to lose the initial weight before a surgery date can be set. I do great all day but then after I get home its all bad! My boyfriend eats whatever he wants and I seem to have no control. I need to get a grip!!!

Tina Z.

Tina Z.

 

He Likes Big Butts And He Can Not Lie

In the six months that I have been on this site, I have read many posts, updates, and blogs. I have seen that we all have very similar fears and concerns when it comes to the sleeve. Today I plan to address one fear that I have/had that I haven't seen on here. I am not sure if it's becasue the fear seems so far fetched to most or if it's something else completely. What I do know is this fear was one of my BIGGEST reservations about having this surgery.   Now, most people worry about having to get in protein or the pain associated with the surgery and after. Others worry about hair falling out, change of taste buds, and even not eating enough. I have heard cries of concern over drinking while eating, hormonal changes, and even the ever popular, "will I ever be able to eat ________ again?" Now, I am not belittling these concerns. I've had them all and still have some. A great example is one I had yesterday. My husband wanted pizza for dinner. I know I can't eat pizza anymore. It doesn't sit well with me and I am only able to take maybe two bites before I feel like I may slime. However, I know how much he misses having it on weekends so I ordered him one. For me, I got a child's size chicken alfredo. I knew it would last me at least three meals, but I REALLY wanted pasta and I wanted alfredo sauce. Well, after spending way to much money for it, I brought it home, opened it up and took a bite of just the chicken. As I chewed I noticed an off taste. I ended up spitting it out and throwing the rest down the garbage disposal. Then I burst into tears. All I wanted was something different than my normal grilled chicken breast (plain). I wanted the pizza and all it's yummy cheese and peperoni that seemed to laugh at me for not being able to taste it. I wanted to go off on my husband for his ability to eat said pizza and go back for seconds. But, once my raging hormones calmed down (I'm PMSing big time) I opted for a lean shake....my third for the day. As I was drinking it, I began to tear up and talk about some of the above fears. Mostly I wanted to know if I would EVER be able to have certain foods again. Because to be honest with you, right now it doesn't feel that way even though I know over time I will be able to have a little bit of things that I miss.   Even with all the crying and anger of that fear showing it's ugly two mouthed, four hands head, I still have/had one other fear that is/was bigger than any other. So sit back as I tell you a story...   11 years ago while playing an online game, I received an IM from some random man. "Hello", was all it said. As I was getting ready to hit the X to rid my computer screen of the interruption another message in the box popped up. "I love your quote!!" Now, this was back when dial up was considered fast and AOL was the best service around. My quote was by Mark Twain and read, "When I was 14 I found my father to be the most ignorant man in the world. However, when I turned 21 I was astonished to see how much the old man had learned in only 7 short years." This was quoted to me almost everyday by my father and as I grew older, I understood it more and more. Needless to say, we chatted. He begged to meet me. I said no. I was a size 18/20 and I didn't think anyone would find me attractive at that size. Also, i didn't want to be killed by some random guy on the internet. LOL Well, he took his time and we talked on the phone and internet for four months. I fell for his intelligence and I felt so comfortable with him on the phone that it was like I already knew him. Then he asked again....can we meet? I told him yes but in a public place and then dropped the bomb, "I'm not a thin girl. So, if you're looking for a tiny girl, I'm not her. I'm not huge but I have meat on me." Without missing a beat he responded, " Good, I like a woman with some meat and curves." Well, I thought he was crazy. Who would like that? No man I had known would admit to liking a woman bigger than a size 8. Now, 11 years later, he's my husband and is currently snoring on the couch.   I told you all that to get back to the fear. Once I got to know him even better, I saw that he didn't lie to me at all. He loves a bigger woman. He can't imagine being with a woman who's smaller than a size 12 or 14. So, when I began thinking about the sleeve and discussing it with him, that was my biggest scare. What if he isn't attracted to me once I'm thin? What will happen when the boobs and butt have shrunk and he can feel my ribs when holding me? Will he lose interest and decide to get his big butt, curvy, voluptuous lady somewhere else? Will I no longer turn him on the way I have for years? Will me getting healthy cause me to lose the man I love?   There, it's finally out there. I know I am not the only woman who has had that thought and I won't be the last one. This is why I decided to put it all out there and discuss it. Now, I know he has supported me through this with no issue. He loves me thin, fat, curvy, with big boobs and a big butt or without them. He's a wonderful man and I'm very lucky to have him. However, even knowing that I still have times where that fear will come out of nowhere again and I am forced to think about it and try to push it back down in the dungeon. Those times come when he jokes with me about my "little boobs and little butt" or when he starts poking at my ribs and saying things about how tiny I am now. (Note: I am currently a size 16/18.) As he jokes all i can think is, "I still have 75lbs to go.....what will he say/do then?" Will he still want to be intimate with me at 140 or will I be just a pile of bones in his eyes?   So, as a therapist, I do what any therapist would do....I ask him!!! He has assured me that he doesn't care my size as long as I'm healthy and happy. But when asked about my boobs he does admit he would like to see them lifted and filled....but what man wouldn't? I can't hold that against him. I want that also so at least we're on the same page. So, needless to say, he likes big butts and he can not lie but he'll love my tiny butt and droopy boobs just as much!!! Now, I just have to figure out how to work on these concerns and fears of mine. I know it's my issue, not his and I have to own it and change my thinking. But that doesn't make it easy to do...then again, nothing about going through the sleeve process is easy.   So, let me know ladies....was this a concern for any of you? If so how are you coping with it or how have you coped with it? I would really love to hear your thoughts on this. Oh and FYI, the photo isn't my butt...mine is much smaller now. LOL

tmorgan813

tmorgan813

 

Had My Blood Test

Had a long talk with my bariatric nurse today, and she has found out that a person 2 weeks ago had the same problem and the treatment was a vitamin K injection and then they had their operation. I have to wait 2 weeks for the results and should have my operation in november, in about a month, meanwhile i am staying on the liver reducing diet so that i am ready for a cancellation at a day's notice, but i am doing 1,000 rather than the 800 and less that i was on. Ive also ordered some milk thistle to help my liver, which was fatty 15 years ago, and presume could still be fatty. I have been researching the fatty liver online and that could be the cause of my blood problem, but no one medical ever suggested anything 15 years ago, bit annoyed about that, but will just have to wait and see what the results are when they come back. My blood clotting time was 49 secs and it should be in the upper 20's,

pink grace

pink grace

 

14 Month Updated

I reached both of my mini goals this last month, weighing a normal BMI fully dressed as well as weighing in at 121 which is half of me.   No real info yet on the plastic surgeon consult - they have submtted to insurance and waiting to hear decision on that.   Still enjoying my Weight Watchers meeting and the accountability it gives me each week.   Started taking a mindful eating class through my program, it is kind of odd to go through it when at goal but I am learning a few things.   I didn't wear my black dress yet - too cold, it might have to wait til next summer.   SW 242 Height 4'11'' 6 month Pre-op loss (-28.6) Surgery date 8/8/11 213.4   1 month - 194.2 (- 19.2) 2 months - 180 (- 14.2) 3 months - 170.2 (- 9.8) 4 months - 164.4 (- 5.8) 5 months - 167.2 (+ 2.8) 6 months - 162.4 (-4.8) 7 months - 155.4 (-7) 8 months - 149.6 (-5.8) 9 months - 143.4 (-6.2) 10 months - 139 (-4.4) 11 months - 132.6 (-6.4) 12 months - 126.8 (-5.8) 13 months - 121.4 (-5.4) Made goal! Normal BMI! 14 months - 118 (-3.4)

MeMeMEEE

MeMeMEEE

 

Day 11 Post Op

"Released" 7, almost 7 1/2, pounds in the last week. WOW. So happy. Same size clothes but they aren't binding.   Odwalla "Superfood" single serving . . . NASTY. And it is mostly carbs. Oh well, I tried it, I bought it (on sale, thank goodness), and I am going to DRINK it! Maybe not first thing in the morning though, lol.   I find myself getting HUNGRY. I panic when I'm hungry, always have, not sure why. We went to Chili's last night and I asked for a cup of potato soup to be served as appetizer. No soup. Finally, I said, I need my soup [underline] now! I tolerated the soup well although it was rich and had some solid toppings. About 6 oz I'd guess. I was comfortably full. I like that feeling.   Right now I am drinking Lean Shake 25, a GNC product, banana. It's good. Light, almost watery. I'm beginning to appreciate the watery taste more as I'm learning I can tolerate more of it at one time. When I'm trying for liquids and proteins, that's a very good thing.   I am grateful I can get my drinks down. My heart goes out to all of you who are transitioning and hurting in the process.   I find myself talking about overeating, food addiction, etc. in the past tense. It's a good feeling, like I've closed the chapter on that part of my life. I feel stronger when I think of it as "over."   My first week of full liquids ends this Wednesday, then one more week of full liquids, then purees. ( I really did kind of lapse last night with the soup but I had to. I squished the potato chunks up before eating them.) It feels like a long time ahead of me on liquids and semi-solids, but I'm going to try not to think of it. Counting pre-op, it's been 21 days on liquids (who'd a thunk I'd ever do that); so, I am 2/3 through it. That makes the ten days remaining seem shorter.   Still getting out more and still needing lots of sleep. Not 100% on my walking, but doing pretty good.   I'm going to look online at some of the aps for monitoring self-behavior. For some people, for instance, getting a pedometer is a big incentive for taking more steps. Not sure how that could work psychologically; but apparently, for some people seeing the higher number of steps motivates them, especially if they're part of a group comparing numbers. No harm in trying it myself, I guess, if I ever get [another] pedometer. Maybe I'll head to eBay now . . . lol.   Have a great day, Sleevers. I'm so glad you're here for me. It is amazing how helpful it is to be with people who understand.

sheila2050

sheila2050

 

Sometimes You Need It

This weekend was a big one for me. My husband and I went to Oktoberfest at the local church. It wasn't as fun as I expected but it was interesting to see a priest walking around with a chicken hat on...I am not making this up!!! To top it off, he was playing the accordion. Those priest really know how to have a fun time. LOL The next night, I went to my sister's annual bonfire. For those of you who don't know, my sister is three years out and 125lbs down after having bypass. So, even though the sleeve is different, I do use her for support and inspiration. Plus, she's one of the few people I can straight out ask if she sees a difference. LOL   Now, as well all know, stalls happen. They suck, but they happen. I stalled for a month and a half and was so upset that I thought maybe this was the weight my body was supposed to be. I know it sounds crazy, but after watching the scale go up and down between five pounds for that long, you do get a little crazy. My husband should be happy that I didn't have a complete nervous breakdown. Well, my stall broke. I lost 10lbs and it's stayed off. Knowing this, I got prepared to go out. I don't have any winter or fall clothes that really fit. I actually tried on some things that just hung on me....something that has NEVER happened to me. My favorite sweatshirt engulfs me but, the thing is so warm and so comfy that I just don't care. Ok, sorry for the side bar. So, I ended up in a pair of jeans (a size too big) and a sweater (2 sizes too big). Even with the semi baggy clothes, I felt good about myself. I was ready to face the world...or at least the local drunks at Oktoberfest. We went. We looked around,. We left. It just wasn't what we expected. So, we ended up going out to dinner at a local diner. Once inside, I saw some people I have known for awhile who haven't seen me in months or years. It was so wonderful to hear the complements about how I was looking. I think it's exactly what I needed. I have been feeling so low about my weight loss for so long, that having people REALLY see it, made me feel almost famous. Well, maybe not famous, but at least noticed. LOL   I came home after the bonfire the next day and was looking at photos. The full length photo makes me look pregs (I'm not) so I'm not sharing that one. However, I have a photo of my face that shocked me. Mind you, the one photo of my sister and I doesn't make my face look this small, but hey, I'll take what I can get. It also doesn't help that my sis is almost 100lbs smaller than I am right now. (Side note: she was never as big as I was so I have to lose much more weight to be her size) Sometimes you just need to see yourself in a new way. I need to see myself as a woman a 100lbs+ smaller than I was less than six months ago. So, I am posting the photo of my face right before surgery and the photo from the fire. Just to help me see the changes and to help others see that going through all this is SOOOOOOOOOOOO worth it (even when it doesn't seem like it) . I just can't wait to see myself in another six months. Maybe one day, my sister and I will be only 10-20lbs different (I have a much bigger build than she does so I don't think my body is made to be 120lbs no matter what any chart says!) So, enjoy the photos. Keep your heads up. But most importantly, know that no matter how long your stall is, if you keep doing what your supposed to, you will get out of the stall.      

tmorgan813

tmorgan813

 

Tomorrow Is One Week Postop, Still Rough

I thought I would keep this blog better, but it has been a ROUGH week! Surgery Monday, Oct.1, 7:30am. recovery was a blur, brought to my room, then after first thing to sip and a pain pill I puked till I thought I was gonna die! It hurt so bad I cried - which made it worse! Staff was good, most of the time, I had terrible gas in my left shoulder and had to have moist warm compresses-which my mother applied first, then staff brought more. The leak test on day 2 was bad, and when they wanted me to stand in front of the machine and drink the liquid from hell I was like, "are you kidding?" I was getting up to the bathroom with my mom on one side and my daughter on the other. By the afternoon of the second day they brought in physical therapy to get me walking the halls. I was given a fancy wheeled walker with a seat-in case I had to sit, and as I was shuffling down the hall I was thinking " I was just at the gym on Saturday, now I'm using a walker!! Holy crap!" The pain was definitely more than I expected, and the nausea was overwhelming. I was constantly dizzy and weak and nauseous. I went home Wednesday afternoon and just barely survived the one hour drive-the interstate is bumpier than I remember! Thursday my mother made me my first pureed meal, and surprisingly it was good. God Bless Mom! I'm still having pain in my upper left abdomen, under one incision. It feels like something is pulling and sometimes it really brings tears to my eyes, like this morning when I almost fell out of bed (trying to get out in log role fashion like every day) and I tried to catch myself. I screamed and my hubby woke up and helped me back in to bed as I just sobbed and sobbed. Is it worth it? I don't know yet. If this pain will just go away-or at least get less intense I may get more positive. I see my surgeon on Friday but don't think I'll get a lot of answers. "Just give it time", yea, yea, easy to say when you're not in pain! In the meantime, Mom has to leave in the next 1-2 days, I don't know what I will do without her! My hubby is taking a crash course in how to make pureed food taste decent-but I am afraid I will be doing my own cooking when she leaves. :-(

IsaacsGram

IsaacsGram

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