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About this blog

From the very beginning...

Entries in this blog

ANGER. I was talking to a woman the other day online that expressed that every time she gets through one test, another one is ordered as she tries to get to surgery. She is disgusted after being in the process for over 7 months. I really felt bad for her, so I reached out to her in a private message, because I had the same thing happen to me. I remember that I had spoken with a friend of mine who was telling me how really easy-a-time he had going in to get the surgery and that you just have
CHANGE I've been asking myself - why is change so scary? What is it about change that makes us worry about it, and even avoid it? Especially if that change could be the best thing that ever happened to us? What I've come to realize, is that it isn't the change itself that is frightening. It's that we aren't sure if we'll like what we get through change. I've been reading a lot of and watching a lot of you tube videos by people who have had various bar
It was voting season, and I had to decide on congressional and presidential candidates.   It's also surgeon and facility season for me, and I have to make decisions about where and who will be in the O.R. with me!   Well, I'm in the process of making these decisions. One important factor that has come to light is Medicare. I was told that Medicare is now covering the VSG. This is really big news for people who have Medicare, for whatever reason, and especially big for me in my timing beca
Family.   This morning I was on the phone with my sister. We are actually very close, but we live kind of far apart - in nearby, but not neighboring states. However, despite the miles we talk almost every day and we really share openly our emotions and goings-on.   So this morning I mentioned that I had a pre-surgery appointment next week and she was asking me how this surgery was going to change my perception of food, in short (no need to provide every detail of the conversation, becau
In my earlier blog I referred to how much I love bread. And I received a response from a fellow blogger who mentioned the danger in having a relationship with bread.   I find myself wondering if it's possible that food truly became the thing I could rely on after my Mom died. It feels like a big leap to me - but it's worth inquiring with my emotions about whether bread represents something bigger to me in my food challenge. I recall that as a child there was always bread on the table at dinn
food. The little f as opposed to the big F. When I'm in the mood to eat, I can throw down. I would refer to that as FOOD.   And I drink when I eat. A LOT. I mean, like I can easily go through 32 oz of liquid. I have been this way my ENTIRE life. When I was little my Dad used to say to me at the table, "put down that milk and eat!" lololol.... yeah, it was like THAT.     I love bread. I mean, it's my favorite thing - even over anything sweet, or pasta. Bread is the perfect food when
I am so weird. One minute I'm so excited, and the next minute I'm chewing off my nails with nervous energy - which is the playing with the tail and crying scene from Oz, equivalent for me. When I started on the path of knowledge over this procedure (which was a while ago) I remember thinking, "I could never do that" and I graduated to "look at all these people having success with this", to "I could never do that", then on to, "can I get this done"?, and back to, "this will never work for me",
It's Monday - and I usually don't care what day of the week it is, but today I did because I knew it meant that I could make more efforts to getting to a place where my life can change. So, I made another appointment with a different surgical group to add to my collection of potential surgeons. Oy. However, I am really liking the program and the accessibility of the program at a hospital that is a little bit closer than in NYC, though I could travel to either.   I realized while I was check
I don't want to say I didn't love food when I was a little kid, but the truth is that I was horribly picky. Like, sit at the table all night because I didn't want to eat my spinach, pea's in the couch cushions, slipped it to the dog when Mom wasn't looking kind of picky. Yeah, I usually sat at the table for hours every single night... so, to top it all off I was stubborn. Picky and stubborn eater. That is a bad combination. Now add to that immune compromised, with an extreme fear of needles,

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