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Apprehensive/Hopeful

Entries in this blog

I had been drifting off course for the last couple of weeks, since I started eating solids, really. I can eat so little (about 1/3 cup) it just didn't seem to matter what I ate or what frequency.   Now, this site: http://goodnightsurgical.com/doc/Sleeve_Gastrectomy_Guide.pdf has helped me understand (be convinced) why the rules are necessary. We are training now for life after sleeve restriction. By year 3, I guess, my sleeve should accommodate 1-1 1/2 C food; and if I don't have my li
Motivation, anyone? I haven't been walking or doing any kind of exercise (excepting yardwork.) I want to want to do it.   I am really surprised at how little I can eat. I've gotten a lot better about not eating when I start getting close to full. Overeating is just too painful. I am wondering how it could ever be possible not to lose weight eating so little. I guess time will teach me that. I've been losing about 2 lbs/week for the last couple of weeks. I am very happy with that rate.
I haven't had any trouble at all with anything except once when I ate too much too fast and well, you know.   I am still drinking my Juven, my protein shakes, Powerade. But I've started solids, too. I feel so much better with some food that sticks with me for a bit. Right now it seems impossible that I wouldn't lose weight no matter what I do (almost) because I am able to eat so little.   I won't be bingeing, that's for sure. I don't have cravings, except possibly for meat. That goes wi
I'm hungry. I'm full AND hungry? I can't tell. I had a nightmare about being hungry and the too long, wait forever long, wait in a restaurant for of all things a hamburger and fries. What?! In the dream I got so mad at my husband for tipping the waitstaff I almost walked home!! WOW.   That's some heavy emoting. I find protein shakes taste better after they've chilled in the fridge. The get more dissolved, smoother, and tastier. Better too with the colder flavor.   I don't want to ea
"Released" 7, almost 7 1/2, pounds in the last week. WOW. So happy. Same size clothes but they aren't binding.   Odwalla "Superfood" single serving . . . NASTY. And it is mostly carbs. Oh well, I tried it, I bought it (on sale, thank goodness), and I am going to DRINK it! Maybe not first thing in the morning though, lol.   I find myself getting HUNGRY. I panic when I'm hungry, always have, not sure why. We went to Chili's last night and I asked for a cup of potato soup to be served a
I am not feeling euphoric anymore. In fact, I've experienced some tiredness that can only be relieved by long naps. I know I'm still better mentally, however, because I WANT to do things; but I'm just having to rest in between. It feels like now I am settling in for the long-term effort of making this surgery part of a successful lifestyle change.   My incisions look great and the itching is subsiding. I've not had a problem with liquid intake; I judge this by light urine color. Getting th
I paid $3.79 for that Muscle Milk; so, by golly, I choked that protein DOWN. lol   Shopping today I started making healthier choices for my family. Not rice cakes, exactly, but better quality food which I thought would be healthier than chips and cookies. Cost money to eat a little better, it does. But it's so worth it. I am so glad I am able to exert this gentle influence on their eating habits. This is what I bought for them for snacks: lightly salted, dry-roasted peanuts, honey-roast
Just had my first post surgery protein shake. A day or so ago, my husband and I went to GNC and stocked up on different types of protein powder. Different brands, flavors, some no-sugar-added, some fast release, some slow release, some "meal replacement" powders which include fiber.   The GNC guy said casein is a slow-release protein.   This particular brand I tried today makes a thick mixture with water. I like that. Pre-op I was drinking Amp Extreme 60 (very tasty!) which mixed thin wi
I've decided to weigh only on Mondays. That way I can measure progress without tormenting myself over fluctuations.   Tomorrow I'll start all liquids. Looking forward to yogurt in the morning.   Made chicken stock tonight. Haven't done that in a while!   Got through the whole day without a nap. Really tired out, though, in early evening.   I'm taking Juven (wound healing powder) twice daily per my sister's instructions. She's a registered dietitian at a hospital. Taking these expen
Tuesday evening: Doctor's wife picked us up from airport. Gave the doctor his cashier's check. He answered my questions about surgery. Doctor's wife took us to hospital. Signed permission docs. Answered medical questionnaire with on-call doctor and then again with nurses.   Wednesday: Hooked up to IV. Visits and questions from various doctors: on-call hospital doctor, cardiologist, anesthesiologist. Pee in a cup. Blood draw. Chest x-ray. More doctor visits about the results and what
I am so glad it's done!! I can't believe how good I feel. I love not being hungry. Loooovvvvvve it.   I had a pretty easy time of it except the night after surgery I had some terrible pain right between my breasts, kind of at the top of my abdomen.   I assumed it was gas but it wasn't. I felt better after a morphine shot and med to sleep.   And now no pain at all! Yay   Dr Kelly's having a special in Oct. $5200.   After that new bookings will be 5700.   If anyone's interested the
Today I had kind of a large supper -- by recent standards -- of salad and fish. I've been reading about salad being disagreeable after WLS, so I wanted to eat it while I still could.   Seemed so slow while I've been waiting for my surgery; now, seems it's approaching quickly. Today is Thurs. I'll start liquids Sunday; fly to Tijuana Tuesday; have the surgery Weds.   A week from now, I'll have my sleeve. Excited. Scared.   We bought a lawn mower so I've been mowing for exercise. It'
This morning I cut a ** in half and gave it to the dogs. I'd been obsessing on it since the night before. Once the temptation was gone physically, it went away mentally as well.   I went to Luby's today thinking I could get some good food there -- especially greens and sf jello -- and was disappointed. I was also surprised that I was feeling full after 1/2 chix breast; and though it was hard to pass up, I ate it without the skin.   I slept a lot today. I've been drinking decaffeinated o
I had a very nice supper last night with family. Everyone prayed for me when the meal was blessed.   It was a grand finale of the old days and my dad outdid himself.   Today I had my first protein shake. I'm so relieved it quenched my hunger. I am going to make it through this day, and beyond that, I'm not going to wonder.   Caffeine hasn't been the huge withdrawal I expected. I don't know yet if that's God's grace or just a delayed onset.   I am eager for the surgery to be done and
Tonight my father is preparing a special meal for me, my last. I am really looking forward to it. Yesterday was the last day for diet coke and another favorite food. I am gearing up mentally and feel able to go forward.   It is not the food itself I fear but the panic I may feel when there's no way to modulate my feelings with excess. Then I read here about people's experiences and am reassured that what I am setting out to do is not impossible and my reasons for pursuing this are valid,
Today and tomorrow are the last days I will be able to eat whatever I want. My surgery is 9/26 and I should have started pre-op on the 12th, but I mistakenly had my mind set on ten days' pre-op so I am sticking with that. The psychological willingness to do this seems very fragile to me; i.e., not the surgery itself, but my part in changing my lifestyle.   I am a compulsive overeater, addicted to food, seeking comfort. I don't see how surgery is going to change that; yet it is a last ditch

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