Just wondering if anyone has had surgery and not told their family or friends?

I have to disagree' date=' at least in my case. I'm not lying or hiding, nor am I not proud of the work i've already done or of the decision to pursue surgery or the work I've had to do so far just to get it. But I have a high visibility position in my career & social life, & value my privacy wherever I can preserve it. :}

I didn't tell them bc if they can't be positive, then I don't need their bad juju swirling around trying to mess up my pink & purple sparkly cloud of positivity & clear action that I've worked so hard to create. And on the other side (family), we're just waiting until there's a surgery date. We don't feel there's any reason to get everyone in a tizzy just yet. And no way am I blabbing on facebook, bc frankly...too many random people are sharing too much random info.

As for work, I work for a big university & people are overwhelmingly negative & trying to claw their way to the next step & I know this would be exploited as a weakness. So, being that it's none of their beeswax, I don't see any reason to do more than give a heads up that they may need to cover my workload (in case I can't get surg date during mid-semester break).

That's just my situation...not that I even need to justify it, but maybe if by sharing it helps someone then so be it. :}

This is exactly how I feel. I haven't had surgery yet Still jumping through insurance hoops and can't have it until December. I have only told my husband mom and one friend. My question is how do you handle answering someone who asks what your doing when they ask in front if the few ppl who know. Like if people ask when I'm with my mom and I answer dr supervised diet low carb high Protein ect. Is my mom or friend that knows going to be thinking "she had surgery!! She's a liar?"

mwrarr

I have to disagree, at least in my case. I'm not lying or hiding, nor am I not proud of the work i've already done or of the decision to pursue surgery or the work I've had to do so far just to get it. But I have a high visibility position in my career & social life, & value my privacy wherever I can preserve it. :}

I can understand what you are saying. What I mean is this....you (we) should allow no one to make us feel uncomfortable about what we are doing/have done when it comes to surgery. This is giving them power that they don't deserve. I also work at a high profile job and my boss is even trying to talk me out of it (she's an MD). I listen to what they have to say, but frankly, my mind is made up. Nothing they can say or do will change that. Once everyone sees how happy and successful you are afterwards, they will be eating crow. I just don't want people to be embarrassed about this journey. I'm not saying go on top of a building and shout it to the world, but just don't hold back. Of course we all have to do what makes us comfortable, so if it's not for you, I get and respect that.

Is my mom or friend that knows going to be thinking "she had surgery!! She's a liar?"

I hear that! I figure that the few that know are the ones that won't judge me regardless' date=' so if I have a little "elevator speech" to deflect the ones who don't matter then they will probably just go with it. I'm of the inclination that anyone who wants to tell me how I should feel about my journey is just insecure in their own.

347*294/285/135 (*347HW/294SSW)

I have just told my Husband, Kids, and 1 sister. I really don't think my other family would be supportive and I don't need that negativity in my life. I might tell a few friends if I am ask how I lost the weight but I’m not planning on bringing it up unless I’m asked.

I have only told my mom husband and sisters. I don't feel the need at this time to tell anyone else! My 8 yr old daughter is very overweight, and am just not sure how mentally this will effect her so I am choosing to not tell my kids. my in laws are big mouths with NO filter...lol..so I know if I told, they would speak freely to and around anyone including my kids! Probably without even knowing it!

I don't think it's bad to tell or not to tell, I think everyone's life and support system is different that it is strictly a personal decision! I am very envious of those who can speak freely about all this! I'm sure it would be a heck of a lot easier than not being able to talk at all!

I'm keeping my support system in the loop but the rest can wonder and be amazed...

Amanda Rae

Ok here goes. I was sleeved on 2/13/12 and choose to tell just my family and close friends. My decision not to tell wasn't because I was ashamed. All my life I failed at every diet I did and if i didn't succeed with the sleeve I didn't want to hear negative feedback. I am now 8 months post-op and 80 lbs lost. When ever asked how I was losing weight I never lied just choose not to tell all the details. I always told them I saw a nutritionist who advised me how to eat and started to walk and excercise. I am finding it harder as time goes on because of the weight loss and am tempted at times to tell. I think on my 1 year anniversary I may let my secret out of the bag and explain to everyone that I choose to keep it a secret until I knew I was successful at it.

I finally told my youngest son. His reply was "you're not fat, mama..." & "but what will you look like?!?" I'll tell my oldest son maybe tomrw...if he didn't already hear it from the lurks guy. (they've been @their dad's since Friday)

347*294/285/135 (*347HW/294SSW)

I don't want to be judged, bottom line. I told my husband and a friend who is a neighbor. Maybe later I will tell others till then, I am ok with keeping my medical issue to myself.

Just to add a different perspective, I told EVERYONE. I work in a somewhat small office and was confident in my decision. I did it to create a healer lifestyle for myself, and was not ashamed whatsoever. For me, it made it easier and provided a stronger support system. Also, I didn't have to worry about people asking me questions like " is that all you're eating for lunch?", or " what is that you're drinking?" when I have a protein scale at my desk, etc. everyone is different, in situations are all different, but for me, I preferred to tell everyone head of time to avoid the awkward questions afterwards. I mean, regardless you're going to be asked questions as you continue to lose weight. and if you hide it, there is only going to be more speculation. congratulations and good luck on your journey!

14 months out and it is still a secret! It's my life and u don't need to share. I am not telling period. Friends, family, coworkers, I don't care

With the exception of my husband, I don't plan on telling anyone. Most of my friends are thin and I don't think they'd understand. My family would freak. Also, since I have a lower bmi (35) I am worried I would get more slack for it. Prior to deciding this was for me I mentioned to my hair stylist and personal trainer that if I could I would have WLS, but I quickly added I couldn't because of the expense. Both responded very quickly and strongly "don't do it". I said I wouldn't, and continued talking about calorie counting and exercise. Still, to get two strong reactions, it seemed like it would be best to keep it to myself.

Please know, I have been struggling with my weight for 20+ years and I've yo-yo'd, but have been more up than down. Looking forward to staying down.

I too am telling few people. Husband,work and children. My life is my own and I have the right to keep it that way. Most people would take that information and use it for ammo. People love to gossip about others and its never going to change. I won't be fuel for that fire. I initially told a few co-workers. I got angry responses or should i say jealous responses? Why would what i do with my life make them angry ? They are afraid that i will look better than they is my guess.

Now that it's over and done, I have no problem telling EVERYONE! lol

I told only a select few pre-op, not even my parents. However, since surgery, EVERYONE I've told (including my parents) has been congratulatory and excited for me.

It's been a nice surprise!

For me, having people know about my WLS keeps me accountable!

I'm telling pretty much everyone with the exception of a few family members. May tell them eventually but maybe not.

It's not that I'm not hiding it, I just don't think it's an issue. I was recently diagnose with psoriatic arthritis and have gained weight from the meds & lack of mobility. Most people have been very supportive & understand I'm doing it for my health. The rest, well, they can kiss my fat (soon to be thinner) ass.