Just wondering if anyone has had surgery and not told their family or friends?

I forgot, I don't plan to tell anyone else not even by best gal pals. I don't know their personal health issues and it's nobodies damn business.

I am still pre-op and I have only told 2 people so far: my bf and my bff. My bf swears that he's supportive of my decision to have surgery, just not my decision to go to MX to do it, but just last night he made a comment that he doesn't understand why I wouldn't spend the money I'm going to spend on surgery on a personal trainer for a couple of years to get the same results. After many failed attempts at diet and exercise and after reading this Time article yesterday titled, "Why Exercise Won't Make You Thin", I'm not so sure that's true and I already know in my heart that I need this tool to help me make the most of diet and exercise. Similarly, my bff is trying to talk me into postponing surgery for a year and trying diet and exercise in the meantime, in hopes that I'll change my mind about the surgery, so after these reactions I decided to hold off on telling anyone else until after surgery. I'm not ashamed of my decision--quite the opposite, actually--but I just need peace of mind and unconditional support at this point in my journey, so this is my choice.

I'm pre-op and will (hopefully) be sleeved in January. My husband, siblings, BF and one other friend know. I may tell others when I get a surgery date, but I don't even know if the insurance will approve me, so no point in telling anyone else until it's set. My husband is on board because, frankly, he needs the surgery even more than me. He has uncontrolled diabetes, high cholesterol, etc. But he's not ready yet. He's been doing a lot of research with me, though. My brother had VGS 2 years ago and he is my biggest supporter. He lost 150 lbs. and LOVES his sleeve. My BF is amazing and I knew she would be supportive, even though she is very small. She knows my struggles and wants me to be the best I can be.

I struggled with telling the other friend because she is overweight as well and is very competitive with everything. Since our kids were small (very close to each other in age), she has compared them constantly. (My XXX is taller than your YYY. Did my XXX gain an inch over YYY?) She hasn't been very supportive, though she hasn't been really negative. I only told her because we used to be close and we see eachother a lot. I knew she would find out eventually anyway. I've dealt with her pretty well. I will probably tell other people on a case-by-case basis after surgery.

My sister had lap-band about 8 years ago. She lost 80lbs. She told no one but very close friends and family. As she started loosing weight everyone came up to her asking how she lost her weight. She lied and said "diet and exercise". Some of her over weight friends wanted advice and help loosing weight. When they weren't successful she felt horrible and wanted to tell them. She was always afraid someone new the truth and she keep lying to them. It was really a struggle to keep it a secret from some and not from others.

I had my surgery last Friday. I have told EVERYONE and I'm so glad I did!!!! Everyone has been so supportive. They are calling me skinny-minnie. Calling and checking on me and when I tell them how much I have lost they are hooting and hollering. I also thought it would give me more accountability when I was out eating with my friends. That's when I always did my worst eating. I'm so glad I've told everyone.

I'm not so sure that telling people you lost weight through diet and exercise is lying. I just had Surg last Monday and had lost 45 over my three month pre op diet. If you do not abide to the nutrition plan/diet you can defeate all that the surgery can do. I did tell family, friends, and co-workers, I wish I wouldn't have. That is all they want to talk to me about, I'm no longer buddy, I'm the dude who had weightloss surgery. But I would not feel bad telling people I didn't know I lost by diet and exercise at all, because I feel that surgery alone allows for bad habits to slip back in, eating responsibly is a life long habit.

I have to agree. What I've noticed among myself & friends/family who are trying to diet is that diets don't necessarily fail...people fail to be patient, persistent, consistent...& so they follow a plan for a week (if they make it that long), or a few weeks maybe, & almost always start "slipping up" via making excuses for diet cheats. To tell someone that you're watching what you eat, eating a lot less, being consistent about it & exercising, is not a lie. The main difference between them & you is that you (we) have this little weapon inside us to combat the consistency monster. VSG is merely a restrictive procedure...there's no magic here.

347*294/284/135 (*347HW/294SSW) | (twitter) @Mwrarr | mwrarr.wordpress.com

I too have limited who I'm telling. I told my parents who simply listened but kept their personal feelings to themselves. I've told one coworker/friend and she's already told another person so I'm not telling anyone else. I'm simply amazed at how other people think it is okay to share someone else's medical info. I also told my DH but he's not listening. Said I just need to diet and exercise. So rather than argue, I'm just continuing my pre-op testing. I imagine when I get a surgery date or approved by insurance he'll be more open to taking me seriously.

I finally told my youngest son. His reply was "you're not fat' date=' mama..." & "but what will you look like?!?" I'll tell my oldest son maybe tomrw...if he didn't already hear it from the lurks guy. (they've been @their dad's since Friday)

347*294/285/135 (*347HW/294SSW)

If only everyone had your sons mentality. Lol! I am the biggest one in the family that my kids see and they all eat more than me :-(. To my youngest son I am medium. The day I came home he hugs me and says " mom you feel lighter" lol! I had only lost 5 lbs.

Ginny

Surgery scheduled for 12/26/12.... only told my family - not inlaws, husband, my 2 kids, and my absolute BFF... 36 y/o female. Have lots of aquaintances, but don't think it's any of their businesss and am not soliciting the advice or the judgement of those that know little to nothing about the procedure. I am starting with a low BMI of 33, and only I deal with my emotional rollercoaster. In my opinion people judge and just like those that say - yes go get skinny, sometimes when it happens for you - there is jealousy and that jealousy turns to persecution "well she couldn't do it without surgery..." No **** sherlock, that's why I decided to do it.

Long story short - it's personal and my anticipated response to those that do ask how I did it??? Lifestyle change and healthy eating! It's the truth isn't it?

Surgery scheduled for 12/26/12.... only told my family - not inlaws' date=' husband, my 2 kids, and my absolute BFF... 36 y/o female. Have lots of aquaintances, but don't think it's any of their businesss and am not soliciting the advice or the judgement of those that know little to nothing about the procedure. I am starting with a low BMI of 33, and only I deal with my emotional rollercoaster. In my opinion people judge and just like those that say - yes go get skinny, sometimes when it happens for you - there is jealousy and that jealousy turns to persecution "well she couldn't do it without surgery..." No **** sherlock, that's why I decided to do it.

Long story short - it's personal and my anticipated response to those that do ask how I did it??? Lifestyle change and healthy eating! It's the truth isn't it?[/quote']

I agree! I have a low bmi too so I am obese yet not fat enough... Pfff I don't need anyone's judgement anymore. I did it, it's done, life goes on and no one is any wiser;)

Omg. I am low bmi 32.6. I am getting sleeved on jan 3. And I told everyone about my surgery. I don't care what they think I am doing this for myself. You either with me or not. No one is changing my mind. I am doing it with or without your blessings. I'm tired of dieting. I need a tool to assist me in my journey. I don't have any co morbidities but why wait until that happen??? I'm being proactive. And making the life changing decision now while I have that chance. I'm 38. I weigh 190 right now lost 10 pounds so far on pre op diet. I'm very excited to start this journey and hope to share my experience with everyone

Oh by the way. I am going to Mexico and having my surgery with dr Jesus Ortiz. He was trained by dr Lopez and dr osuna. I went through a lighter me and Ronda She has been a wonderful coordinator and I am very grateful. To her and a lighter me.

Well, I told just about everyone that I work with.....I work in healthcare and there is a lot of support out there. As far as family, I haven't been phoning up everyone and telling them, but it's no big secret either....in the end it's whats best for me and my health and I will be having the surgery regardless of anyone elses opinions. my immediate family is supportive and thats all that matters.

I pre-op. My close friends and family know. I don't plan on telling anyone else, unless they are lovers. I feel like a liar not diclosing my terrible genes to a potential life partner. lol.

WOW, this has been really helpful. I, too, chose to keep my surgery to myself. I (of course) told my husband, and my hairstylist, who had DS in November. I also told as few people at work as I could in order to secure the time off I needed.

When I began doing research about WLS, I got so many opinions from other friends and family that I just felt like it was a decision and a life change that I wanted to make, and while it would be nice to have the support, the ultimate success was up to me. It seemed like everyone knew someone with a "bad" story, or knew a better diet than the jillion others I had tried.....

This was going to be a journey between me and my friend however she did not qualify for the surgery. So I keep her information to a minimal however I have informed my husband and my children who are very supportive. My mother, father and brother know however I am not telling anyone else as it's my decision and my choice. I'm sure they'll know somethings up once they see the weight loss but I'll just tell them it's with diet and exercise. My BFF checks on me after ALL appointments, therapy sessions and just keeps telling me I'm beautiful.

I own my own business so I have informed my clients that I will be having an upcoming operation due to some stomach/intestinal issues that I've been having for years now.

*Hope this post does not offend anyone*... I am on the fence about this topic. I have only told select family members (brother, mother, husband, grandmother) and a very very select few friends. The ones who I know will give me positive support and so far except for one person the few have been positive. I will tell all my coworkers right before surgery, because I work night shift and we all eat together. They are starting to notice my change in food choices and portion sizes. I almost slipped in front of my whole shift one night at lunch and I just giggled... A few asked me was I having surgery was I ok.. And I just said with a strait face "ok... Here it is... I'm having a sex change operation. I want to have a penis just for a few days, then I'm having it reversed) everyone who knows me what a joker I am and just laughed.... I'm not ready to tell yet. It took me about 2 years to decide to have this done and my whole process from initial consult to surgery 3 months. I am 9 weeks from surgery.