Just wondering if anyone has had surgery and not told their family or friends?

Telling people and not telling is kinda a double edge sword! You wanted to share in your excitement that your finally getting that extra help that you meed to reach your goal. Then there the other side where you don't want to share because you don't want to hear other peoples feedback. I almost backed out of the surgery because I got scared. My friends were telling to work harder. I barley eat to begin with. I work out 6 days a week doing various activities. I have lost 7 lbs in the last two weeks.

My parents are not supportive whatsoever. They think I am being dramatic. I always have to take it to the next level. I think to myself you don't know what its like to live in my body.

Then I have the coworkers that say stuff "omg its going to be weird to see you skinny" you really find out who your friends are when you go through life changing events like this.

5 years ago I had a breast reduction and I had one friend tell me " I don't know why your doing this your just going to be another fat girl with small boobs" needless to say she has been erased from my life. Last I heard she is bitter and over weight with small boobs! ????Karma will get ya.

I told my x husband and he is very worried. He thinks its his fault that I want this surgery. -wake up honey this is not about you! This is about bringing the new healthier me! Sorry your missing out.

My true friends are very supportive they have wished me nothing but a speedy recovery and just want to know if they can have my clothes after. ????????

This is our time to shine! Let your haters be your motivators!

I chose to tell only those that I knew would be supportive. I was surprised when MIL and extended family were so excited they started going to the pre op support groups with me and they too have decided to have the surgery. Surprised that my husband is not as supportive as I thought. He still thinks diet and exercise would have the same success. I asked, "if that was the case do you really think I would do something so drastic?". Now he goes back and forth saying if I'm successful he'll look into for himself. My brother is the one I will not be telling. He works very hard to stay fit and healthy and I've heard him say that WLS is the "easy way out". To the contrary, this will be the hardest and most difficult thing I have ever done to control my weight/health.

My brother is the one I will not be telling. He works very hard to stay fit and healthy and I've heard him say that WLS is the "easy way out". To the contrary' date=' this will be the hardest and most difficult thing I have ever done to control my weight/health.[/quote']

I've made a solemn vow...if I EVER hear someone say this surgery is fat people's easy way out, I'm going to punch them in the throat. I suggest you do the same!!

I've made a solemn vow...if I EVER hear someone say this surgery is fat people's easy way out' date=' I'm going to punch them in the throat. I suggest you do the same!!

[/quote']

I love this, I usually punch people in the face, but I think I might change it up;)

I love this' date=' I usually punch people in the face, but I think I might change it up;)[/quote']

It's unexpected. And that's 1/2 the fun.

I've made a solemn vow...if I EVER hear someone say this surgery is fat people's easy way out, I'm going to punch them in the throat. I suggest you do the same!!

ROFL HAA!!

I told my husband of course and my kids. ages 10 and 6. told my mom and mother in law. and just a few other people. I didn't wanna get the well you weren't that big to begin with. or just diet and exercise.. so I only told a few to begin with. I'm almost 6 months out and ive told a few more..

Only my husband knows. I too did not want the negativity and my family trying to talk me out of surgery. I have been overweight since I was a child, I just can't take it anymore. It's hard staying on a diet, and the weight comes back on so fast! I am a slow loser and probably won't have to explain for a while. I am 53 years old and did not make this decision lightly, it took years to convince my husband that this was necessary. I am still trying to believe that I actually had surgery on Aug 31st. I am still trying to believe that this will actually work. So for me, I need this time all to myself, to make the physical and mental adjustments, without being under scrutiny by everyone I know. I hate being questioned about what I should or should not eat, what I should or should not do. It's my life and my health, it's my decision! When I do finally have to explain, it will be when it's obvious that it has been successful.

I am not telling a soul for now, but will tell my sons and one friend as I'm headed to the hospital.

Like GAmom and others, I would get a lot of negativity and I just don't have time for that!!

And, like mwrarr - my privacy is at a premium.

I'm still trying to figure out the semantics with work schedule. I'm taking personal time - but need to be accessible via email. . .

Plus, I'm a little bitchy, so I don't think too many people will say idiotic things to me!

I have not been sleeved yet. But very excited for my surgery date, which is 1-2-13. I have been curious how many sleevers, or wls patients have told everyone, or no one in their circles, or just a select few.

I told my husband first, earlier in this year, and my boys who are 16 AND 17, soon to be 18 on the 18th of this month. My co-worker/friend knows, who wants to be thiner, and loose her co-morbidities too, so I was hoping to be an inspiration to her, and let her see how much better I will feel with this choice I have made in my life.

I have been hesitant to tell anyone else, because like most that I have read here, want to keep the negative away.

I have been best friends with someone since the 7th grade, and I told her a couple weeks ago. Her first response was "great! I am glad you were approved, I know how much this meant to you" And then 2 days later, I receive an e-mail from her ( our main sourse of communication due to our busy family/work lives) and she had a million and one questions, and is so against it, and said she was really sorry if she was hurting my feelings, but she was just concerned) I told her this has been a life long struggle for me since I was about 10 years old, I am a year from 40, and 30 years is just long enough. I have a lot of life to live still, and I want to feel good living it. I have proved over and over again that I can loose the weight, but I also have failed , ever time, to keep it off, and end up heavier than when I started to diet to begin with. She has never been more than 130 pounds, and that is at 9 months pregnant with her 1st of 3 babies. She hangs around 100 - 110 pounds ever since I have known her. So I did the best I could to have her see it from my shoes, and gave her links to very informative youtube videos and websites about the sleeve, and how it has changed so many peoples lives for the better. I told her thank you for loving me so much to be so concerned. This is a decision I have pondered for a few years now, and made my decision last Christmas, and have planned all year for this big step in my life, and to start my new journey.

I am very confident I am making the right decision for myself and my family. I think I will treat my response on an individual basis.. and share as needed.

I told a few friends when I had my lapband surgery in 2009. One of my friends told her friends and when I heard it, I didn't like that. When I had my revision surgery in June, only my husband knew and that's the way I plan to keep it. It's actually nobody's business how I lost the weight.

Only household members know and one coworker. I'm trying to be an inspiration to her to get WLS because she's unhappy with her weight as I am.

2013 is my year....SD 11/19 Methodist Hosp in NY

When I was banded I only told very close family and friends. As I lost the weight, no one new I met thought anything about it. Now that my band has failed and I am contemplating the sleeve, I'm in a different work situation. I work in the health industry and everyone around me is naturally thin, as far as I know. I love my employees and coworkers, but I know they wouldn't keep it to themselves and I really don't want everyone and their dog knowing. I hate to not tell my boss because she and I are pretty close, but she's an athlete and I know she wouldn't understand. It's not about hiding or being ashamed, I'm just a very private person and don't want to be known as the girl who had WLS. I've seen it happen before, it ends up defining you in some ways and to some people. There will always be discrimination. I don't want to tell anyone, but worry what I'll do if I have complications or anything. Guess I'll have to cross that bridge when I get to it.

I have not been sleeved yet. My husband is actually going to be sleeved before me. He has told his mom and sister about both of us. I have told my 10 and 14 yr. old and my mom and one male friend from high school who is probably 600+ lbs. and he almost died last year from complications of his weight. He is 47 yrs old and is basically home bound. My husband said he called a few weeks ago and said that he is considering having gastric by pass. I don't want to have to cry over him again.