So, what things about the bari world/community give you the ick? No idea why, but for me it's the word "pouch" and the concept of having a pouch inside of me -- I'm sure there are good psychological reasons for why most bari professionals use that term post-op, but for me I will always call it my stomach and I feel so much better when other people do too.

On 1/6/2023 at 10:40 AM, summerset said:

I also hate the word "obese". High cringe factor for whatever reason.

Yes! It's used by hospital support personnel much too often. I feel it's a form of degrading, bullying by people who have no understanding or compassion over patients physical struggles. Instead they hold judgement over those patients and have a word they can use without the possibility of being accused of bullying because it's an accepted term.

1 hour ago, Herstorian said:

Yes! It's used by hospital support personnel much too often. I feel it's a form of degrading, bullying by people who have no understanding or compassion over patients physical struggles. Instead they hold judgement over those patients and have a word they can use without the possibility of being accused of bullying because it's an accepted term.

i feel like any word used as a synonym for "fat" and even more so, "very fat" is often construed as offensive and/or mean. especially by those who are. or were.

a young daughter of a friend of mine maintains that "fat" is a bad word.

i suppose alot of it has to do with how the word fat (or obese or heavy or bigger or overweight or large, etc) is used. but the intended use and the eventual receipt of the word(s) is highly subjective.

given that we are a demographic that is very familiar with all these words, i wonder what word everyone would prefer be used? specifically by medical personnel?

p.s. on another note, now that i am on the other side of things (for now, at least), i bristle when people refer to me as "stick" or "nothing" or, my all time (not) favourite: "skinny b***h". i mean, really. ?

Edited January 9, 20233 yr by ms.sss

2 minutes ago, ms.sss said:

i feel like any word used as a synonym for "fat" and even more so, "very fat" is often construed as offensive and/or mean. especially by those who are. or were.

a young daughter of a friend of mine maintains that "fat" is a bad word.

i suppose alot of it has to do with how the word fat (or obese or heavy or bigger or overweight or large, etc) is used. but the intended use and the eventual receipt of the word(s) is highly subjective.

given that we are a demographic that is very familiar with all these words, i wonder what word everyone would prefer be used? specifically by medical personnel?

p.s. on another note, now that i am on the other side of things (for now, at least), i bristle when people refer to me as "stick" or "nothing" or, my all time (not) favourite: "skinny b***h". i mean, really. ?

Funny story about 'obese,' to get approved I had to prove 5 years of morbid obesity. Since I had spent years avoiding cameras I had no photos, and since every physical issues I had was blamed on my weight I rarely went to the doctor. However, on a whim and grasping at straws I got my medical records from our PCP and it turned out I had seen her every year or so and at each appointment she noted I was "Super morbidly obese."

It was the one and only time I've ever been so happy to see myself described that way. It got me my surgery in about 2 months.

Good luck,

Tek

11 minutes ago, ms.sss said:

i feel like any word used as a synonym for "fat" and even more so, "very fat" is often construed as offensive and/or mean. especially by those who are. or were.

a young daughter of a friend of mine maintains that "fat" is a bad word.

i suppose alot of it has to do with how the word fat (or obese or heavy or bigger or overweight or large, etc) is used. but the intended use and the eventual receipt of the word(s) is highly subjective.

given that we are a demographic that is very familiar with all these words, i wonder what word everyone would prefer be used? specifically by medical personnel?

p.s. on another note, now that i am on the other side of things (for now, at least), i bristle when people refer to me as "stick" or "nothing" or, my all time (not) favourite: "skinny b***h". i mean, really. ?

I like the word Portly ?

On 1/7/2023 at 12:20 AM, Smanky said:

100% the word "pouch". It's up there with "moist" for me.

I won't use it. "Smaller stomach" or just plain old "stomach" work fine for me, since I still actually have one despite it's reduced size.

Everything else I'm completely neutral on.

I thought I was the only one who cringes at the word "moist." ?

9 hours ago, GreenTealael said:

I like the word Portly ?

I like the word sturdy! Lol

I once heard someone use ‘corporation’ as in that man’s shirt is straining across his corporation. ??‍♀️?

1 hour ago, Arabesque said:

I once heard someone use ‘corporation’ as in that man’s shirt is straining across his corporation. ??‍♀️?

well that the first time i heard that one!

On 1/10/2023 at 8:14 AM, ms.sss said:

i feel like any word used as a synonym for "fat" and even more so, "very fat" is often construed as offensive and/or mean. especially by those who are. or were.

a young daughter of a friend of mine maintains that "fat" is a bad word.

i suppose alot of it has to do with how the word fat (or obese or heavy or bigger or overweight or large, etc) is used. but the intended use and the eventual receipt of the word(s) is highly subjective.

given that we are a demographic that is very familiar with all these words, i wonder what word everyone would prefer be used? specifically by medical personnel?

p.s. on another note, now that i am on the other side of things (for now, at least), i bristle when people refer to me as "stick" or "nothing" or, my all time (not) favourite: "skinny b***h". i mean, really. ?

^This. All this. Especially the bolded.

I get that confronting your own weight isn't nice, I get it. It's not nice to hear you're obese. But certain people on social media trying to insist it's a "slur" just makes me livid. I have NEVER had people yell "Eat a salad OBESEY!" or yell "OBESE!!!" at me from a passing car. It's a medical term. What hand-holding gently-gently kid gloves term is permissible now that everyone's offended by everything?

Had to rant. It really really gets on my wick.

Edited January 11, 20233 yr by Smanky

1 hour ago, Smanky said:

"Eat a salad OBESEY!"

ok...i know this wasn't meant to be funny, but it totally was to me! and just the ridiculousness of it said out loud had me and Mr. laughing (i laughed when i read it, he asked whats so funny, i said "eat a salad obesey!", hilarity ensued...)

but yeah, jokes aside, it is very challenging sometimes to navigate around lots of people's real feelings.

maybe the answer would be for a doctor to ask what word(s) a given patient prefers to use to describe their "condition". highly unlikely to be implemented, im sure, but it would sure make for some funny conversations.

ME: please use the word luscious instead of obese.

DOC writes in records: "patient is morbidly luscious".

2 hours ago, ms.sss said:

ok...i know this wasn't meant to be funny, but it totally was to me! and just the ridiculousness of it said out loud had me and Mr. laughing (i laughed when i read it, he asked whats so funny, i said "eat a salad obesey!", hilarity ensued...)

but yeah, jokes aside, it is very challenging sometimes to navigate around lots of people's real feelings.

maybe the answer would be for a doctor to ask what word(s) a given patient prefers to use to describe their "condition". highly unlikely to be implemented, im sure, but it would sure make for some funny conversations.

ME: please use the word luscious instead of obese.

DOC writes in records: "patient is morbidly luscious".

It was totally meant to be funny - I can't help myself, even when I'm attempting a serious point! Maybe "obesey" will catch on.

And I love "morbidly luscious". I think that needs to be adopted immediately.

On 1/9/2023 at 9:46 PM, Blessd1 said:

I thought I was the only one who cringes at the word "moist." ?

literally the worst word there is. closely followed by panties. ?

"journey"

"new me"

"and then life happened"

"back to old habits"

"a tool"

I can't stand these anymore.

I definitely get a lot of ick seeing diet culture words and phrases slung around on these message boards as well as sentiments I recognize from folks with eating disorders. Things in the same vein/tone as to “nothing tastes as good as skinny feels…etc” Having had a severe ED in the past and otherwise socialize in diet culture for most of my life I can’t help but cringe in seeing people would have made the choice to grow healthy through weight loss surgery choice to clinging to some of the most problematic diet culture undertones.

I also get major ick seeing people put down their past selves and bodies. I think it’s amazing to feel and confident in your own skin, but there are so many factors that contribute to weight gain and so many ways fat people are misunderstood, treated unfairly and undermined in our society - something most of us have personally experienced to some degree, I hate to see people acting in ways that contribute negative societal construct.

2 hours ago, smc124 said:

I definitely get a lot of ick seeing diet culture words and phrases slung around on these message boards as well as sentiments I recognize from folks with eating disorders. Things in the same vein/tone as to “nothing tastes as good as skinny feels…etc” Having had a severe ED in the past and otherwise socialize in diet culture for most of my life I can’t help but cringe in seeing people would have made the choice to grow healthy through weight loss surgery choice to clinging to some of the most problematic diet culture undertones.

I also get major ick seeing people put down their past selves and bodies. I think it’s amazing to feel and confident in your own skin, but there are so many factors that contribute to weight gain and so many ways fat people are misunderstood, treated unfairly and undermined in our society - something most of us have personally experienced to some degree, I hate to see people acting in ways that contribute negative societal construct.

Yesssssssss thank you! I didn't do this so I could spend the rest of my life still tied up in diet culture bs and I definitely didn't do this to hate a very real and very important part of who I am and what my life is.

There are a couple of doctors on yt who have really great/helpful videos for the most part but when you get to their videos about eating it goes completely off the rails. I saw one the other day recommending intermittent fasting to wls patients! How are you a doctor literally recommending disordered eating habits to patients trusting you to give them evidence-based information about how to eat!