So, what things about the bari world/community give you the ick? No idea why, but for me it's the word "pouch" and the concept of having a pouch inside of me -- I'm sure there are good psychological reasons for why most bari professionals use that term post-op, but for me I will always call it my stomach and I feel so much better when other people do too.

”Pouch”, “stall”, “journey”, “stretching the pouch” (that’s literally the worst one!). Expressions that get waaay overused, like ”the surgery is a tool”, “this is a marathon, not a sprint”… I feel like I could go on all day. ?

Genuine question for those who can't stand "surgery is a tool". What alternative description would you suggest?

I was going to say I don’t care for morbid, but “morbidly luscious” had me rolling.

I just overheard my Gen Z kid call his friend a “tool.” Neither of them (kids) sound very nice right now.

I had an appointment with the Surgeon on Thursday and he admitted me to the hospital. The did a scope to check for stricture, narrowing or anything that could be causing me to feel like this. The good news is that they didn’t find anything. The bad news with that is I have no answers. Running more bloodwork and tests today. ☹️

On 01/27/2023 at 19:52, Smanky said:

Genuine question for those who can't stand "surgery is a tool". What alternative description would you suggest?

WLS is like gears on a bicycle. The process of weight loss is climbing a mountain with a regular bike, the Andes, Alps, or Rockies kind of mountain. A regular bike/body could get up there with a lot of walking and conditioning, consistency. WLS is the new fangled gears on the bike that lets you stay on the ride better. The bike still zig zags, traverses and takes switchbacks to reach the top. It still takes a heap of work. WLS is a body like a mountain bike, tackling a mountain, instead of a beach bike trying to climb a mountain. Now how to make that seat comfortable?

On 1/27/2023 at 7:52 PM, Smanky said:

Genuine question for those who can't stand "surgery is a tool". What alternative description would you suggest?

I wonder if this bothers people because it hits a little too close to home. I used to hate when people said, "It's not a diet -- it's a lifestyle change!" (usually when referring to... a diet, e.g., keto). But now, I get it, as much as I hate to admit. I actually use that now to shut people up when they get too nosy about my weight loss (I have kept my surgery private and not told any friends, family, or coworkers). When they demand to know my secret to weight loss, I say I made a lot of lifestyle changes, and that's not what they want to hear.

I see a lot of people on this forum who seem to expect the surgery to work like magic -- to make weight loss easy, instant, and permanent. Reminding people that surgery is a tool, not something that works on its own, might be a reality that's hard to face.

On 1/28/2023 at 7:20 PM, learn2cook said:

WLS is like gears on a bicycle.

More like an S-Pedelec.

On 1/28/2023 at 1:52 AM, Smanky said:

Genuine question for those who can't stand "surgery is a tool". What alternative description would you suggest?

Gastric sleeve. RNY. MGB. DS. Whatever one had for surgery. Why call it "a tool" or whatever (for me that tool-thing belongs to the cringy stuff as well)? How would someone call an appendectomy? Herbert?

What gives me more and more "icks" about that whole bari/WLS thing is that there are way too often too many almost cultish vibes around.

14 minutes ago, BigSue said:

When they demand to know my secret to weight loss, I say I made a lot of lifestyle changes, and that's not what they want to hear.

Of course people don't want to hear some stories about "lifestyle changes" that are missing the most important information. Why would they?

That said I wonder how many people actually believe these fairy tales about "lifestyle changes".

1 hour ago, BigSue said:

I see a lot of people on this forum who seem to expect the surgery to work like magic -- to make weight loss easy, instant, and permanent. Reminding people that surgery is a tool, not something that works on its own, might be a reality that's hard to face.

I just dealt with this with a irl friend. They were so excited to talk to a surgeon about surgery, got the booklet w the pre-op & post op diet & immediately said 'never mind' - he thought it was just magically going to work on its own.

He said had thought surgery would magically stop him from eating every 30mins & I told him you can do that w the surgery too. So I agree with this. The "tool" thing is important for people to realize it's not the magic spell they think it is.

41 minutes ago, summerset said:

Of course people don't want to hear some stories about "lifestyle changes" that are missing the most important information. Why would they?

That said I wonder how many people actually believe these fairy tales about "lifestyle changes".

Well, if the term "lifestyle changes" doesn't get rid of them (which is my goal -- I do not wish to discuss my body, my weight, or my diet with anyone other than medical professionals, and I consider it rude for people to ask about these personal topics in public, so I just want them to drop it without having to be rude myself and say, "None of your business"), I sometimes mention specific lifestyle changes, all of which are true. I work out daily, track my food intake, avoid sugar and fried foods, eat more vegetables, find healthy recipes to cook, and use online grocery shopping to avoid temptation. These are actual lifestyle changes that I have made and use along with the tool of my surgery, and I know that if I fall off the wagon of all these lifestyle changes, I can easily regain a lot of the weight. I WISH the surgery worked like magic and I didn't have to make permanent lifestyle changes.

8 minutes ago, bbykitty said:

I just dealt with this with a irl friend. They were so excited to talk to a surgeon about surgery, got the booklet w the pre-op & post op diet & immediately said 'never mind' - he thought it was just magically going to work on its own.

 He said had thought surgery would magically stop him from eating every 30mins & I told him you can do that w the surgery too. So I agree with this. The "tool" thing is important for people to realize it's not the magic spell they think it is.

I don't mean to be judgmental about this because I went through it, myself. I first heard of weight loss surgery when I was in college, and I had already struggled with my weight and countless diets over the years. Gastric bypass sounded like an absolute miracle -- something that would just magically prevent me from overeating! I went to an informational seminar and a consultation with a surgeon, but when I started learning about how much work it would be, I thought, "If I had that much willpower, I wouldn't need the surgery!" I read people's personal experiences with WLS and was very turned off by how much their surgery affected their lives, because I wanted something that wouldn't require me to devote my whole life to weight loss. I backed out and it took me another 15 years before I was ready to put in the effort of the lifestyle changes. I'm very grateful to have the "tool" of weight loss surgery, but it required (and continues to require) a lot of work on my part.

Jesus some of you sound so judgmental. Why are you even here if you're just going to put things down?

On 02/09/2023 at 09:06, Sunshine Princess said:

Jesus some of you sound so judgmental. Why are you even here if you're just going to put things down?

I mean perhaps this wasn’t the post to read if you didn’t want here about things that give folks the ick… just sayin