I am brand new to all of this today...so this may have come up before. What was/is your greatest fear going into surgery?

I am being sleeved on 11/18. I am VERY EXCITED to take this next important step in my life. There are so many things I think (and research) about as the date draws closer and closer...but my GREATEST FEAR is that I won't like the way that I look. I know that may seem very shallow given the complexity and importance of everything else tied to the procedure...but I can't help it.

I have been big my entire life....and I actually like the way that I look (except for my torso). I just want/need to get my health under control.

Does anyone else have crazy things like this that consume their mental side of the experience?

My major fears:
1. My surgery being canceled or rescheduled. My surgery was supposed to be in May, but this pandemic forced my doctor to reschedule three times before finally having the surgery this past Friday (10/23).
2. That my doctor would do the wrong surgery on me. I wanted the gastric sleeve, but I was paranoid that due to some miscommunication, my doctor would perform a gastric bypass on me. Walking into the OR, my mind was raging with the thought of having the wrong surgery, even though all the papers I signed said gastric sleeve. As I fell asleep with the anesthesia, my last words were “gastric sleeve” ?
3. Giving up the food I love. I’m Dominican - I was raised eating heavily seasoned ethnic foods. The food of my culture is soooo good, but so unhealthy at the same time.
4. How I’ll look once I lose all the weight. I’m concerned that if I lose too much weight, I’ll look sick. Or that my body will look weird and have saggy skin ? I’m only 22, so I’m praying my skin will bounce back, but you never know. My mom had her gastric sleeve at 45 years old (4.5 years ago), and she only had saggy skin (barely) in one area. Hopefully I’ll be as lucky as her.
5. Concerns that I’ll gain the weight back as years pass. Over the last few years, it’s become apparent to me that I’m a stress eater. I’d eat if I was sad, upset, had a rough day, was bored - whatever reason you can find, I chose to eat because of it. My relationship with food was definitely unhealthy. I’m three days post-op: even though my cravings have pretty much vanished, it’s difficult to see my family eat all this good food. I’ve been dying to have a piece of chicken or a sandwich. (Bread and fried chicken were my biggest problems). Even soda, for example. I used to drink so much soda, and now I’ll never be able to drink it. It’s scary to think about.
6. Now that the surgery is done, I’m scared that any weird movement I make, will open up one of my incision sights. I have six total, but only one has stitches. It’s difficult to stand up or even sit up without help. That kind of movement makes me feel the stitches in my very soul - it’s a terrible feeling. Coughing, sneezing, burping: all make me feel the incisions. I lightly press a small pillow on my stomach if I feel like I’m going to cough or anything of the sort; it does help with the pain.
7. This is such a life altering surgery. I wonder sometimes if I was actually ready for it.

On 10/19/2020 at 11:09 AM, Smitty74 said:

I am brand new to all of this today...so this may have come up before. What was/is your greatest fear going into surgery?

I am being sleeved on 11/18. I am VERY EXCITED to take this next important step in my life. There are so many things I think (and research) about as the date draws closer and closer...but my GREATEST FEAR is that I won't like the way that I look. I know that may seem very shallow given the complexity and importance of everything else tied to the procedure...but I can't help it.

I have been big my entire life....and I actually like the way that I look (except for my torso). I just want/need to get my health under control.

Does anyone else have crazy things like this that consume their mental side of the experience?

My #1 greatest fear is dying during the surgery. I don't know what that one seems so much more terrifying - I think because I wouldn't even know that it happened!? As I'm going through the process I try to hold that one back. I tell myself that I could have to go into ANY surgery at any time (my appendix could burst tomorrow!) and so these things can't be avoided forever. It still freaks me out that I might go to sleep and never wake up and never know though. I think as it gets closer I will struggle with that a lot.

#2 is becoming not being approved by insurance. Doing all of these appointments and planning - Ill be so bummed if they find some weird loophole, drag their feet or if something changes because insurance mandates change in the coming months.

Either way, I have been trying to see everything that happens as a sign. I am not a religious person but I do believe that things happen for a reason, so I am going to just go with the flow and assume that the things that are meant to happen will in their own due time!

One of my greatest fears was this:

Other than being overweight most of my life, I have been relatively healthy. I had never had surgery, never broken a bone, and never experienced a major medical event. However, being overweight has led to high blood pressure, high cholesterol, sleep apnea, and difficulty with physical activity. The decision to have WLS came with a bit of shame that my obesity was all my fault and completely in my control to fix and that I have failed miserably. So, I was afraid that I was going to permanently disfigure or mutilate my body, just to fix something that I caused. And, if I had a complication, that would be that much worse. I realize that that was wrong thinking... but it had a lot to do with why it took me so long to decide to do this.

Now I'm headed in the right direction and have a lot of pressure to not let this opportunity go to waste.

4 minutes ago, billho said:

One of my greatest fears was this:

Other than being overweight most of my life, I have been relatively healthy. I had never had surgery, never broken a bone, and never experienced a major medical event. However, being overweight has led to high blood pressure, high cholesterol, sleep apnea, and difficulty with physical activity. The decision to have WLS came with a bit of shame that my obesity was all my fault and completely in my control to fix and that I have failed miserably. So, I was afraid that I was going to permanently disfigure or mutilate my body, just to fix something that I caused. And, if I had a complication, that would be that much worse. I realize that that was wrong thinking... but it had a lot to do with why it took me so long to decide to do this.

Now I'm headed in the right direction and have a lot of pressure to not let this opportunity go to waste.

I really like the way that you described this. I am similar, in that I have thankfully never had to have a surgery before and I am otherwise quite healthy, despite being overweight. I wish that I could just lose it and continue to maintain the same health and not have to take such drastic steps to get there - I feel like a failure!

I am also trying to be realistic, in that I have tried to do it on my own so many times over the years and have never been able to sustain it - if anything I gain back more each time. I am also the type of person that is very self reliant and never asks for help or admits that I need help with anything. I am trying to view this as a great place for me to start to admit that I need help in order to do this successfully!

Billho and Newyork lady, you guys are 100% in line with everything I’ve thought. It’s hard when you know that you are going to undertake surgery for something that is technically “fixable” without it...and yet evidence shows that it generally won’t be fixed without surgery. I’ve had a lot of stress over the fact that I did this to myself.

One thing I’ve tried to tell myself is that a lot of medical conditions are self inflicted, but those people deserve to have their conditions treated and receive medical care regardless. Some cancers, accidents, etc are very self inflicted, but I certainly don’t judge those people for seeking and getting care, so we need to be a bit kinder to ourselves.

Newyorklady, I was 100% sure that insurance was going to find some stupid loophole or change coverage or whatever and I would get denied. I had a gut instinct that would happen. Well, it actually went through with a next day approval first try, so maybe the part of my gut that knew it was going to be denied is the portion of my gut I’m removing. :)

My biggest fear is failure. I've seen so many people have good results from these surgeries, but also know people who are as big or bigger than when they started the process. That is my fear.

My greatest fear is that I’ll have the surgery and that I will still fail on the dieting post op. I have been on numerous diets, losing weight only to gain the weight back plus even more than I started out with.

Like everyone else, death would be at the top of my list.

Next, failure. Not losing, OR losing and regaining. I don’t have tons of support, so I feel like there would be “I told you so” from some people.

Addiction transfer.

Long term complications that ruin my quality of life.

I’m a worrier, and I worry my worries will keep me from ever realizing my dreams.

I was just thinking about this thread the other day. Reporting back almost six months post surgery to say,
1. I didn’t die! Obviously.
2. I didn’t have any complications. Easy recovery, feel totally normal now but just get full super quickly.
3. It is working and I have 120 lbs of missing fat to show that’s true.
4. Insurance approved! Best advice is to find the requirements and make that your exact goal. Insurance wants you to drop out, so stick it to them and make em pay!
5. Regain will always be a fear, but I’ve grown more confident that I can use this tool to control my regain down the road. No matter how you lose weight, keeping it off will be a lifelong struggle.

Basically I just wanted to check back in because I keep reading threads about people presurgery who are scared and have a lot of fears. It’s totally normal to have a ton of fear but please know that for the vast majority of us, it all ends up fine in the end.

Now that I've gone through the surgery and recovery, I can now move on to the other things that I control - weight regain. But I feel, and I'm only a few months post-op, that I have learned enough about this process/journey that I will be able to control weight regain.

The surgical team did their job. The dieticians have provided me the information to get me to where I am, now it is only up to me. The support of this community is another tool available in my toolbox that I intend to utilize.

jaelzion, those were also my fears. Fear that I could end up with a permanent colostomy from complications, or failure. I had two family members who talked me out of surgery twice. But I decided they probably didn’t understand much about it. As I got older I began to have heart problems. So this time it’s a GO! I want to live!

my fears are complications and failure. but I now have mild heart failure so if I want to live I must be successful.

My greatest fear is that I will not be successful. Or that I will lose all the weight but as soon as the hunger hormones come back I will gain it all back. 2nd is that I will have a bunch of extra skin and hate my body.

My fears are that I won't lose weight or that if I do, I'll regain a few years down the line. I also fear that extra/loose skin will cause rashes or just be uncomfortable.

I have fears of complications, regain ('ve lost 100 lbs and gained it back before), and dying in surgery. I'm not sure how I'd rank them; it depends on the day. I think regain is my biggest fear because it's the most likely, and it's not something that will go away after surgery. I think I will always fear that.