This day last week I had the sleeve. I was totally content with my decision to have the surgery. Now, the second I woke up in the hospital I immediately regretted it. I have been an emotional roller coaster since then. I still could have backed out this day a week ago. I have replayed so many things over in my mind when I could have chosen to back out. My husband was/is fully supportive. But, so many times I wished he wouldn’t have been so I would have changed my mind. I have started taking anti depressants and talking with a therapist and trying a support group but it still isn’t working. I haven’t told anyone that I’ve done this(including family(my own mother).

Guilt, Shame, disappointed in my self. I literally hate myself for doing this.

Have any of you experienced this? I am trying hard to move past it.

thanks

Coming from a big Italian family I understand the idea of family and connections revolving around food or otherwise stated the shared meals and community it creates. Your relationship with food has and will continue to change, but I haven't found it to be a bad thing. You'll progress out of the liquid and soft food stages and get to a point where you can eat a full array of food again just in smaller portions. To gain the weight many of us did there was very likely something in our relationship with food that was unhealthy. I wouldn't shut your Therapist out right now. Run a parallel path to sustain or improve your mental health while you work to get to a healthy weight. I am 4.5 months out and 80lbs down. I am in completely different place (energy, motivation) and show up for my family better as a result. Anyone who says this surgery is an easy way out is wrong, but losing the weight would be hard work no matter what. Stay focused on your goals and this time will soon feel like a pretty distant memory.

I have not had any regret but that may be a function of my attitude going into surgery. My father died at 47 and my sister at 44 - both from heart attacks and both lived very unhealthy lives. I turned 40 this year - I'd really just like to see 50 and I know the likelihood of that happening without the surgery was very small.

Preop, peri-op and post-op I keep reminding myself while this surgery was a big deal and my life is forever changed by it my life depends on it.

You might have their genes, that's out of your control, but YOU CAN make sure you don't have,the same demise! And I am proud of,you for the steps you took.???

I had regret for a short time. However, I've lost a lot of weight already, and even though I know it's going to slow down any day now, it's already improved things. So that is something to look forward to. The mental part of it is huge. My doctor made sure I knew I might regret it right after. We talked about it. I have actually gone and met with a therapist just to help with my food attachment issues. I'm finding that it's easier to take food out of it. That's important. My family did have this thing about food being involved in everything. And, I can still be a part of it, just don't eat everything they eat. I also started to learn new things to cook. Cooking with different herbs and spices to make food taste better. I'm just over a month out, and I'm learning what I can eat now, and I have to say that it helps to find a new recipe. Like I made hummus the other day. It came out great. It's finding a new way to enjoy food. So, while it's hard at first, it will get easier. It's an adjustment, but you'll be ok.

Well, I have a different perspective. I am 3 months post RNY, and despite having serious complications which prevent me from eating food for the most part, I have absolutely NO REGRETS! I feel amazing, have gone down 3 sizes in clothes, move better, sleep better, and my diabetes is in remission!! I was mentally prepared for the surgery, but was unaware I could develop a severe stricture and marginal ulcers. I'm going with the flow, and Imagine I will eventually heal. Im sorry for those with regret, and I hope with time you feel better about your decision.

5 minutes ago, Briswife15 said:

Well, I have a different perspective. I am 3 months post RNY, and despite having serious complications which prevent me from eating food for the most part, I have absolutely NO REGRETS! I feel amazing, have gone down 3 sizes in clothes, move better, sleep better, and my diabetes is in remission!! I was mentally prepared for the surgery, but was unaware I could develop a severe stricture and marginal ulcers. I'm going with the flow, and Imagine I will eventually heal. Im sorry for those with regret, and I hope with time you feel better about your decision.

I hope so too

On 07/07/2019 at 10:32, Healthy_life2 said:

Find healthy ways to eat your old favorites with no guilt. Nutrition is still flavorful.

Nachos - Quest tortilla chips, ground turkey 99% lean, taco seasoning, diced green and red bell peppers, onion, salsa and a small amount of cheese

Pizza - Veggies, turkey sausage and pepperoni (keeps calories lower) Small amount of cheese on a cauliflower crust.

Thank you for the great suggestions! I need to start thinking outside the box! ??

On 07/06/2019 at 08:21, Sosewsue61 said:

@BlueAngelEyes you need to switch therapists, one that understands and isn't biased against wls patients - ask your bariatric team for a recommendation.

Hormones play a big part of your mental states right now, and this will jack with your perceptions and they will continue to bounce around during this process. Soon adding more exercise and getting better sleep will level these out.

All of you are thinking you are deprived because you have made food events a large part of your lives and now it has to change. It just has to or you will not succeed. I am not trying to be negative here, but these changes need to be permanent or you will gain weight back. Early in this journey you will naturally lose because of the severe restriction and the honeymoon period, even if you eat non-nutritious food. You will think -' hey I ate my Protein and I had some pizza and lost 8 pounds this week, this works'. Yes it does because of the honeymoon period. Don't let that be a slippery slope to indulge whenever you 'feel' like it - it's my brother's wedding, it's my friend's baby shower - I must Celebrate. NO, not with the food - enjoy the gifts, the decorations, the party part - food is secondary.

Everyone that has been obese is insulin resistent, and your body has spent years getting there. Some of you say you were healthy at 41BMI and I call BS. You were headed for diabetes and high blood pressure and sleep apnea, and compromising all your organs. The longer you keep grain carbs with no nutritional value and sugar out of your system the less you will crave them, and you will be free from this demon of ill health. I am not saying never, but build this early resolve to fix your health. You will be amazed, active, more energetic and happier.

And wanting to look healthy and cute is not vain. Don't beat yourself up over wanting to look good - you will feel even better. Hang in there.

Can not agree MORE with all of this!

Nobody ...... and I mean nobody can be “healthy” at a BMI of 41.

At the age of 40, it’s still possible to fool yourself into thinking you’re healthy, but the harsh reality is that damage is being done to internal organs and other systems that you’re not aware of and it WILL catch up.
Damage that isn’t always reversible with traditional diet and exercise.
There’s something almost magical about the metabolic reset that comes with these surgeries and I’m sorry but if diet and exercise without this reset really worked long-term, then many of us would’ve never needed the surgery.

Yes your relationship with food will be different now, but that’s the whole point.
Without my metabolism screwing me over every day, I’m actually not hungry anymore when I eat.
I’m not chronically wondering when the soonest possible time is that I can eat again because I feel as if I’m starving. The reason for that is in insulin resistance (or lack thereof) and the fact that my body is now mobilizing fat stores for energy— as it should have been doing all along, but didn’t because of insulin resistance.

The first couple weeks are tough. Your body hasn’t moved beyond the initial shock of surgery and you’re tired and sluggish and cranky because it’s been a few weeks since you’ve been able to BITE and CHEW any food.
By the time I went for my 2 week post-op I hadn’t chewed anything for 18 days and I was cranky as hell, even though even then I was not once remorseful. I can only imagine how awful it would’ve been had I had a negative attitude.
Being able to finally eat something (1/4 cup cottage cheese) was blissful.
I knew I was finally “there” when in week 4 I was able to eat a few bites of salad— the food I missed the very most during that process.

It gets better, but you’ve GOT to change your relationship to food and understand that however bad you’re feeling now will only be multiplied exponentially by continuing to carry an extra 50-100 pounds around every single day of your life.

I’m barely 5 months post-sleeve today and I’m “only” down 63 pounds since surgery date. I still have between 30-40 pounds yet to goal, but even if my loss stopped right here (I know it won’t) I’d be happy with my choice and would choose to do it all over again a million times out of a million.

47 minutes ago, Sheribear68 said:

Can not agree MORE with all of this!

Nobody ...... and I mean nobody can be “healthy” at a BMI of 41.

At the age of 40, it’s still possible to fool yourself into thinking you’re healthy, but the harsh reality is that damage is being done to internal organs and other systems that you’re not aware of and it WILL catch up.
Damage that isn’t always reversible with traditional diet and exercise.
There’s something almost magical about the metabolic reset that comes with these surgeries and I’m sorry but if diet and exercise without this reset really worked long-term, then many of us would’ve never needed the surgery.

Yes your relationship with food will be different now, but that’s the whole point.
Without my metabolism screwing me over every day, I’m actually not hungry anymore when I eat.
I’m not chronically wondering when the soonest possible time is that I can eat again because I feel as if I’m starving. The reason for that is in insulin resistance (or lack thereof) and the fact that my body is now mobilizing fat stores for energy— as it should have been doing all along, but didn’t because of insulin resistance.

The first couple weeks are tough. Your body hasn’t moved beyond the initial shock of surgery and you’re tired and sluggish and cranky because it’s been a few weeks since you’ve been able to BITE and CHEW any food.
By the time I went for my 2 week post-op I hadn’t chewed anything for 18 days and I was cranky as hell, even though even then I was not once remorseful. I can only imagine how awful it would’ve been had I had a negative attitude.
Being able to finally eat something (1/4 cup cottage cheese) was blissful.
I knew I was finally “there” when in week 4 I was able to eat a few bites of salad— the food I missed the very most during that process.

It gets better, but you’ve GOT to change your relationship to food and understand that however bad you’re feeling now will only be multiplied exponentially by continuing to carry an extra 50-100 pounds around every single day of your life.

I’m barely 5 months post-sleeve today and I’m “only” down 63 pounds since surgery date. I still have between 30-40 pounds yet to goal, but even if my loss stopped right here (I know it won’t) I’d be happy with my choice and would choose to do it all over again a million times out of a million.

I'm being kind of obtuse here because you are absolutely correct for 99.9% of the people on here and as nothing more than a point of interest there is a group of people known as the "metabolically normal obese" who are resistant to all the obesity-related comorbidies in spite of their increased adiposity.

That said....to everyone reading this....don't count on being this person! Lol....

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/25555214

Edited July 8, 20197 yr by PWMDMD

Everyone is so upset about not being able to eat regular food. Well regular and fat food got you where you are. Try something new. I’m 5 weeks post op bypass no pain. Blood sugar meds gone. Struggle mentally sure but no insulin no metformin is worth it! Try to relax and see the good.

All I can tell you is at a month out those first few days were incredibly hard but every day gets better. I also anticipated having emotional issues and asked to go back onto anti depressants that I had used in the past to assist me in adapting to such the huge changes in my body. Hope you’re able to get the help you feel you need but I’m confident as time goes on you will feel better about things.

Hang in there. I think many people experience these thoughts because, contrary to some beliefs, this is hard and not an easy way out. I hope you find some relief soon. All I can say is, it does get better. Good luck!

On 7/6/2019 at 7:55 AM, nacfsu said:

I am also one week out and cry every day about what I did . I felt so prepared before the surgery . I feel like reading all the message boards also messed with my mind ... so many horror stories , and it’s hard not to wonder if they will happen to you. It’s very very hard in the beginning .

Nacfsu -- how are you doing now that some time has passed? Has it gotten easier for you? I saw that you converted from Lap Band to the sleeve....do you still regret your decision?

Please Update us @Nacfsu- I also have been wondering how you are doing?

no one should have any regret less than 4 months out and i already have lost 85 pounds and can fit into clothes i had first time in 4 years even jackets i can close up and zip with added room to spare