This day last week I had the sleeve. I was totally content with my decision to have the surgery. Now, the second I woke up in the hospital I immediately regretted it. I have been an emotional roller coaster since then. I still could have backed out this day a week ago. I have replayed so many things over in my mind when I could have chosen to back out. My husband was/is fully supportive. But, so many times I wished he wouldn’t have been so I would have changed my mind. I have started taking anti depressants and talking with a therapist and trying a support group but it still isn’t working. I haven’t told anyone that I’ve done this(including family(my own mother).

Guilt, Shame, disappointed in my self. I literally hate myself for doing this.

Have any of you experienced this? I am trying hard to move past it.

thanks

CrystalV, why are you feeling that way and so soon after the surgery? Guilt, shame and disappointed? Why because you couldn’t succeed in weight loss without the surgery?
It took courage to acknowledge your weight was an issue and to proceed with the surgery. It is not a silver bullet for weight loss. Losing weight is hard work with or without the surgery.
I started really working on losing weight in February 2018 when my new doctor weighed me and I was at 315 pounds. I had always sworn I would never allow myself to get over 300 pounds. For the next two years, I watched what I ate and started exercising faithfully. I lost 35 pounds in two years. On August 21, 2019 I had my surgery. I have lost 45 pounds since then. More importantly I feel that this time I will be able to keep the weight off.
I am glad you sought help when you needed it. I have been on an antidepressant for years and I accept that my brain does not produce enough serotonin bd that causes me to be depressed. I refuse to feel shame for that any more than a diabetic should feel guilty for taking insulin. We should just be thankful that brilliant minds have developed these wonderful medications to help us.
Stop beating yourself up, keep an open mind and set realistic goals and then pursue them. A husband who is supporting you is a blessing (I swear my hubby is even more excited than me about my weight loss) so make sure to give him a hug and a kiss. Put the negative feelings away and look forward to the adventure ahead of you. Good luck!