Today a coworker just flat out asked if I had WLS. I haven't told anyone, and want to keep this private. I told her no, and I felt a little weird about denying it. I was really uncomfortable and I thought it was rude. She is very gossipy and I'm sure now she will be discussing this with others. I wish people would mind their own business.

I'm so sorry you're going through this. Some people have no boundaries. Keep your chin up and try not to worry about the foolish and what they are saying.

Ewe, that chic has no class. Don’t worry about lying. It’s none of her damn business. She just wants to gossip

I am annoyed for you. Glad you said no because it's no one's business but your own. I have one specific intrusive person at my job who will be trying to figure out once I do my surgery. I am hoping to be approved for spring break.

Wishing you the best.

I’m expecting this question from my MIL. I’m going to ask her why she is asking and why she thinks discussing my weight (gain or loss) is any of her business. If she has the nerve to continue then I will tell her that even though it’s absolutely non of her business, yes I did. And I’m leaving it at that. I say it’s ok to be rude to anyone asking you just to be nosy.

GO TO HR.

I get asked this more times than I thought I would. People even ask me this in front of other people! They will even preface it with “ It is none of my business but did you .....”. I feel like saying, if you know it’s none of your business why are you asking such a rude or personal question?

Other rude things people ask/say to me...wow, you must need a lot of plastic surgery now, it’s too bad you lost so much of your chest, etc

It was shocking to me how people that barely know me feel so at ease commenting on my body, and most of these things are things I would not say to a dear friend, let alone someone I barely know.

At any rate, it’s no ones damn business what you did, you have no obligation to discuss your medical treatment with anyone.

Yeah. I would have said, “well, I don’t really think my health or medical history is really any of your business.” Or ask her if she’s had any Botox or fillers lately and let her feel how over the line such questions are.

I know, crazy advice coming from Ms. Open Book, but folks have a right to go through this process however they are comfortable in doing so.

I had a similar issue at work also. I was asked "what did you do and are you sick?" At first I was angry because it isn't anybody's business but my own. If I felt this coworker was truly genuine instead of looking for gossip that's a different matter. I told her this is what getting healthy looks like and changed the subject.

I was gone for about 5 weeks and am building up my hours at work, and a colleague I don't work with closely legit asked me--in front of other people--what kind of surgery I had. She was talking about how I lost a lot of weight--at least five kilos! (I had lost 15 at the time)--and I just said "Oh gee I didn't notice." When she pressed me for more information I just demurred and said that it was a whole story and I didn't want to get into it.

I felt the need to tell people at work that I had a physical illness/operation because my organization is really struggling with colleagues who have "burnouts." (This is a stress/overwork-related medical condition in the Netherlands for which you get a lot of time off.) Thus I also didn't want people to think I took off work for mental reasons and treat me differently. It's a tough balance but now that I'm back at work full time the comments have stopped. I also always wore open-sized clothing so I haven't changed my wardrobe that much, which I think helps. I'm only two months out though so maybe I'll get more nosy comments as time goes on.

Edited February 15, 20197 yr by bodycando

I can't hide diddly squat, so I've told everyone. In my Qur'an class the sisters knew I'd had surgery on something to do with my stomach but it wasn't until it became visible that they pressed me for details (with lots of excitement at how good I was looking). When I tried to explain what a bypass is, some of them looked worried like what a scary thing to undergo.

My MIL who was not encouraging pre-op is delighted now. She doesn't understand how it works but just that it does.

My FIL just keeps wanting to weigh me, but he did that before hand too (he's eccentric and Irish, what can I say?)

Then I have friends who tell me how exciting it will be to go cloths shopping and start imagining me in short skirts and tank tops (they're projecting) whilst I gently remind them that I wear long clothes and a head over in public and WLS won't change that [emoji12]

9 hours ago, insta_adventurer said:

Yeah. I would have said, “well, I don’t really think my health or medical history is really any of your business.” Or ask her if she’s had any Botox or fillers lately and let her feel how over the line such questions are.

I know, crazy advice coming from Ms. Open Book, but folks have a right to go through this process however they are comfortable in doing so.

Okay I love this response! ?

I'm expecting my mother-in-law to ask me that at some point and I'm going to deny, deny, deny. It's nobody's business and what a rude question to ask!

Just tell her " why no, mother in law dear, I am still lovely girl your brilliant son married. Why would you ask?" just lob that heavy old medicine ball backinto her side of the court!

7 hours ago, ummyasmin said:

Then I have friends who tell me how exciting it will be to go cloths shopping and start imagining me in short skirts and tank tops (they're projecting) whilst I gently remind them that I wear long clothes and a head over in public and WLS won't change that

Sorry, but this is flat-out hilarious! Did they think your modest clothing was because you were fat?

18 hours ago, Swanton_Bomb said:

Today a coworker just flat out asked if I had WLS. I haven't told anyone, and want to keep this private. I told her no, and I felt a little weird about denying it. I was really uncomfortable and I thought it was rude. She is very gossipy and I'm sure now she will be discussing this with others. I wish people would mind their own business.

Some people are just downright CRAZY!! Bottom line, they say and do all sorts of things. After I thought about it for a long time, I decided to just tell my co-workers because most of them gossip so much, they will even make up crap to talk about smh...so since I beat them to the punch they started telling some of our regular customers OMGEEEEE...I was too outdone when one co-worker said that so and so customer wants to see you, I'm like for what?? When I went out front to see what she wanted, she said wow you look great, how much weight have you lost... I told her thank you and said out loud so they could all hear "You all are pathetic" my younger sister works with me and she is so sweet and shy, I'm total opposite...she says all the time to me that I say what people are thinking but won't say it out loud. If people are bold enough to ask me something crazy that's none of their business then I have the right to respond with a CRAZY answer. LOL

Don't let them get to you, it is going to continue happening because inquiring minds really want to be noisy. The more weight you lose the more confident that you will have and those insane comments/questions will mean nothing to you. ((Hugs))

Edited February 15, 20197 yr by Wanda247