I’m not planning on telling anyone aside from 4 family members that I’m having surgery. Did anyone else keep their surgery a secret? How did that work for you?

I’m asking because I work at a place that has extreme fat shaming practices and has terribly discriminatory practices as well. Unfortunately discrimination against overweight employees in my state isn’t illegal. I’m using some of my PTO time and having a hernia repair too.

On 4/29/2020 at 11:20 PM, FinallyLosingIt20 said:

I’m not planning on telling anyone aside from 4 family members that I’m having surgery. Did anyone else keep their surgery a secret? How did that work for you?

I’m asking because I work at a place that has extreme fat shaming practices and has terribly discriminatory practices as well. Unfortunately discrimination against overweight employees in my state isn’t illegal. I’m using some of my PTO time and having a hernia repair too.

Hello, and yes! I told my husband and children I did not want anyone to know and if they asked, I was on a soup diet and wellllllll that's kinda true!LOLOL My primary physician half of my church members attend and I have told them I do not want it disclosed to anyone! Which it shouldn't be anyway due to HIPPA. The ladies of our church keep inquiring the kids which are 13, 10 and 19, we did not let the 10 year old know about the surgery but the other two I told them to say, "I see her eating soup all the time, and you will have to ask her!" They shouldn't be asking them any way! One member did ask me and I told her I had lap-band and she cut me off mid sentence and said, I didn't know you had lap-band and just her reaction to that I kepted my mouth shut, because it was if she was judging me for having a lap-band. I was not going to reveal the RNY surgery but was going to tell her I had adjustments to my lap-band. So, no it's none of anyone's business! As Forrest Gump would say, "That's all i'm gonna say about that!" LOLOLOL

2 hours ago, Jady927 said:

Only my husband knows and my kids are clueless as to what a weightloss surgury was. LOL But after months of the listening to families talking about my weight. OMG your wife has gotten big, or your wife should go to the gym with you, I even had my neighbor approach my husband has your wife always been that weight before. I was already in the process of the weightloss surgery already and noone knew still dont and I cannot wait till my remainder 70 lbs come off so they can kiss my ash lol! But nope I do not even think of telling them, Then the insults come in. OMG she used weightloss surgery, she couldnt lose it on her own, wow that's not even authentic. But here I am now and even though Ive faced my struggles, Im here and I just go day by day with this life change until I accomplish my goal weight. Best of luck to everyone else with their journey!!?

Amen,you are so right about that! The OMG she used weightloss surgery, I just love the look on people's face when they see the loss, my sister and brother in-law asked me was I sick or was I trying to lose weight, I told them no I am not sick and yes, I am trying to get healthy and your brother is walking with me! That's all they need to know!

I told my husband and two of my friends. No one else knows. Although my family has noticed that I have lost weight, I simply told them that I have switched to a low-carb lifestyle with exercise. It's really a very personal decision on who you want to tell or if you don't want to tell anyone.

I’ve been super public about my decision. My sister was more secretive with her decision, but I decided I wanted otherwise. I guess I made the decision because I would like to be an inspiration for others who are thinking about it.

I thought I was going to stop sharing, but I've been very public about it myself. I made a big Instagram post about it and posted a picture of me in recovery (@mrs.svejgaard if anyone is interested). I want to document my progress and if that helps other people, then I would be more than happy to be an inspiration to others.

Just now, BoredFatGirl said:

I thought I was going to stop sharing, but I've been very public about it myself. I made a big Instagram post about it and posted a picture of me in recovery (@mrs.svejgaard if anyone is interested). I want to document my progress and if that helps other people, then I would be more than happy to be an inspiration to others.

Just added you! And I agree 100%.

I kept it pretty close to the vest. I told my wife, kids, mother, my best friend and a work colleague. My wife however told everyone. All her very large family, people at work, the lady at the super market, etc. I just thought that it was nobodies business but mine and my family.

I don’t plan on telling anyone which I don’t even know how to tell my work I am going to be gone but I need to use my sick time?

10 minutes ago, crystalccampos said:

I don’t plan on telling anyone which I don’t even know how to tell my work I am going to be gone but I need to use my sick time?

I am using vacation time for my surgery so I don't have to tell anyone at work anything.

1 hour ago, crystalccampos said:

I don’t plan on telling anyone which I don’t even know how to tell my work I am going to be gone but I need to use my sick time?

just say your having gallbladder removal

I had my surgery 6 yrs ago and never told anyone who wasn’t important in my life. It isn’t just the stigma that goes along with having the surgery and how people perceive “fat people who try and loose weight the easy way”, but having the expectation that I will loose all the weight. The science and statistics behind the surgery are very disheartening. If you maintain 40% of the initial weight loss, they consider that a win. Though 6 years later I still am considered a “success”, it wasn’t at all easy and there will always be the stigma to live with. I still suffer from dumping syndrome, will get sick from eating to much and have learned the hard way the hot fudge is the enemy. But I would do it all again if asked. What you do is your business and no one else needs to know unless you want them to know.

I have decided to share the information on my upcoming surgery with 2 friends, later this week. 1 is a terrible gossip, but if word gets out, it gets out. I need help getting home from the hospital, so I'll have to trust. Since I will have a covid-19 test before surgery, they will also have to trust me. I rarely ask for help, but try to step up for others. We shall see.

I only told a few people before surgery because I wasn't sure if the others would be supportive so I waited to tell them AFTER surgery when their objections no longer matter.

I’m not planning on telling anyone.

I didn't tell anyone about my sleeve surgery in Mexico 9 1/2 years ago except my physician. I'm revising to a bypass due to GERD on 6/29. GERD gave me an esophageal stricture which is being repaired at the same time the bypass is done. I'm at my goal weight, so no one should notice anything. Your surgery is no one's business but yours, and your decision to tell or not is yours as well. I'm just a very private person and don't like people asking what I consider to be personal questions.