I’m not planning on telling anyone aside from 4 family members that I’m having surgery. Did anyone else keep their surgery a secret? How did that work for you?

I’m asking because I work at a place that has extreme fat shaming practices and has terribly discriminatory practices as well. Unfortunately discrimination against overweight employees in my state isn’t illegal. I’m using some of my PTO time and having a hernia repair too.

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8 minutes ago, Hop_Scotch said:

Can you tell your friend you will be having a hernia or gall bladder surgery?

I don't have any friends I would be comfortable asking to drive me, even if I were really having hernia or gallbladder surgery. There is a local home health care agency I know, and I'm fairly sure I can hire them to drive me, so that was my plan.

I only intended to tell my immediate family and a handful of close/trusted friends but some co-workers were able to guess and a few people have noticed the weight loss and asked and I told them. So I guess the cat is out of the bag and I’m OK with it. My surgery was 2/17/20 and I was only in the office for about a week before we were told to work from home. I am hoping when we are able to go back to the office my weight loss will be noticeable and that I get some positive feedback! That’s what is tough for me during this stay at home time.

A close friend of mine had the surgery and told me.. She started sharing pictures of people who had gone through with it and how great they looked. She recommended that I see if I can get it done since I am always complaining about my weight.

The process to get started went pretty smoothly and I was super excited about the whole thing.. Made a post on FB and shared the news with everyone on my weight loss and that I was going to get surgery..

I also shared that it was going to be postponed due to the pandemic and haven't updated anyone on my new date or even any weight loss/weight gain besides my husband now.. which is honestly what I wish I had did from the beginning. I know there is a lot of judgement behind getting surgery due to ignorance and have already heard a few negative responses to the news.

I hate the idea of lying to friends/family, but may just say that I didn't go through with it and that I just started eating less and exercising more.. I don't know!

11 hours ago, Hop_Scotch said:

I live by myself and I travelled by myself for surgery. Not sure how long your will be in hospital following the surgery, I was there for two nights, spent one night in hotel accommodation. Travelled home and was required to spend 14 nights in quarantine by myself. Not sure why you'd actually need anyone with you unless you are actually feeling unwell or you feel like you need the support of someone there.

My recovery was pretty good though, very little gas pain ( I was up walking within hours of the surgery and walked a lot after that,), there was some soreness around the incision sites but nothing unbearable. I had no nausea or vomiting either, I did feel something like a cramp in my stomach when I first started liquids but it gone within seconds.

I live alone and 1 1/2 hrs from the hospital and know I can't make that trip on my own right after surgery. Family is scattered and I wouldn't ask them to make the trip, and have to quarentine before returning home. I do have the benefit of being retired, so there are no nosey co-workers.

10 hours ago, BigSue said:

I don't have any friends I would be comfortable asking to drive me, even if I were really having hernia or gallbladder surgery. There is a local home health care agency I know, and I'm fairly sure I can hire them to drive me, so that was my plan.

I hadn't thought of the local health care agency. I'll have to look into that. If they won't drive, they may recommend someone.

I have told only a few family members and one friend. I’m two years out, lost 123 pounds and no one has raised an eyebrow bc it is such a gradual process. You don’t need to tell anyone you don’t want to know. I’m glad I didn’t tell anyone else. It adds pressure and judgement. 

I didn't tell anyone at first, now I tell most people who ask, unless I really don't want to. I've lost a lot of weight and it's very noticeable so people are curious. I do find it rude when people ask purely to gossip, but oh well, they can talk about it and forget it if they know instead of speculating. I'm always happy to tell people who look like they struggle with their weight, as I did for many years.

I really do not understand this topic, Seen it here a million times. Not going to kill this topic but No way are you going to drop 100 plus pounds like me and get Noseeeee Betty not asking.

Who the Hell really cares what people think! This is your life and your decision. If you want to keep it to yourself then lie your ass off, I have found I just answer the question : How did you lose so much weight? are you sick? No Its simple I stopped eating like an animal!

Usually ends that topic quickly.

But I am also male and Ice cold so Maybe I should just shut up because I have no idea from a female perspective how to answer this.

Edited May 19, 20206 yr by WInston223322

6 hours ago, WInston223322 said:

I really do not understand this topic, Seen it here a million times. Not going to kill this topic but No way are you going to drop 100 plus pounds like me and get Noseeeee Betty not asking.

Who the Hell really cares what people think! This is your life and your decision. If you want to keep it to yourself then lie your ass off, I have found I just answer the question : How did you lose so much weight? are you sick? No Its simple I stopped eating like an animal!

Usually ends that topic quickly.

But I am also male and Ice cold so Maybe I should just shut up because I have no idea from a female perspective how to answer this.

I think women are more likely than men to get unsolicited advice on weight and looks. Everyone feels they're an expert. I don't care so much about people knowing my business, if they would keep their negativity to themselves.

On 5/15/2020 at 6:39 PM, BigSue said:

I'm so glad to see this topic because I am not planning on telling anyone. Not my parents, not my siblings, and definitely not my coworkers. It is between me and my doctors.

My coworkers are obsessive about their weight and talk about their diets and workouts constantly. Several of us just went back to the office after working from home for two months, and they all spent the first hour talking about how much weight they lost and complimenting each other on their weight loss. They generally leave me out of it because I guess it's obvious I'm not into that. Funny thing is that I've lost 25 pounds in the last two months and nobody noticed. I'm a very private person in general, so they usually leave me alone, but I'm afraid they're going to start asking questions once I start losing rapidly after surgery. They're very brazen about discussing weight; one time, a coworker straight up asked our boss how much he weighs!

Omg just tell them if they ask low carb and calorie restriction and exercise all of which will be true. If you even have to say anything at all. It's no ones business but gosh that sounds awful.

I told people surgery was the best decision ever and more people should get it

On 4/29/2020 at 11:20 PM, FinallyLosingIt20 said:

I’m not planning on telling anyone aside from 4 family members that I’m having surgery. Did anyone else keep their surgery a secret? How did that work for you?

I’m asking because I work at a place that has extreme fat shaming practices and has terribly discriminatory practices as well. Unfortunately discrimination against overweight employees in my state isn’t illegal. I’m using some of my PTO time and having a hernia repair too.

These 4 people are 3 too many and if you could get away with it, i would just tell that person that you're having hernia surgery (SX). I had Band SX in 2009 (232#) when WLS was still "taboo". I told my now ex husband, two sons, and two friends. I thought surely they could keep a secret...... NOPE. I was blindsided one day with..... Hey i heard you had WLS. I was like a deer in headlights. Then i had to fess up. When she (band) was removed in 2017 (143#) i made it no secret that it was gone.

Fast forward.....2019 (173#) i decided to revise to the sleeve due to the weight gain (30#) and I had the money to do it (divorce settlement 14K). The only person that knows is my husband. Everyone was told i had Hernia SX, which was true. I did have a double hernia repair. I went in on 8/28/19 Wednesday and i was back at work on monday. by my wedding day 9/26/19, i was down 20lbs. People didn't think anything of the WL because they knew i was dieting for the wedding. Today I'm at 125-127. My weight has become a nonissue.

KNOW THIS..... if you tell more than one..... it will get out. People will give you their "unsolicited" advice and or thoughts. You will get the .... Why? can't you lose it the "natural" way? I know a lot of people the SX didn't work WLS, you might die.... and the best one.... You don't weight enough for WLS..... Just a few to let you know.

I love the fact that NO ONE knows this time... SO MUCH BETTER.

On 4/30/2020 at 9:36 AM, FinallyLosingIt20 said:

You would think so, but unfortunately it started with new management. Our new owner is a personal trainer on the side. Since they purchased the company when her grandpa - our founder - died suddenly last year, the culture has changed immensely. I am very unhappy there. I've been on this journey for over a year now, and I was so happy to find this site. I'm scared of someone finding me if I post on Facebook.

i have a dummy FB to post on WLS pages.....

16 minutes ago, BayougirlMrsS said:

i have a dummy FB to post on WLS pages.....

I do too. While my real profile is locked down tight, I do like being anonymous in the groups.

On 5/16/2020 at 8:42 PM, BigSue said:

I don't have any friends I would be comfortable asking to drive me, even if I were really having hernia or gallbladder surgery. There is a local home health care agency I know, and I'm fairly sure I can hire them to drive me, so that was my plan.

how far are you from the Hospital? If you can, schedule a driver. Have them drop you off and then have them pick you up. My VSG was the easiest SX i ever had. Was only off work for 2 day. I only told work i was having hernia SX in case something went wrong..... I could have said nothing and just told them i was taking a long weekend to go out of town.

Only other people that know are long time friends i made here back when it was Lapbandtalk..... and they are all out of state...... and the new friends since coming back to this site