I’m not planning on telling anyone aside from 4 family members that I’m having surgery. Did anyone else keep their surgery a secret? How did that work for you?

I’m asking because I work at a place that has extreme fat shaming practices and has terribly discriminatory practices as well. Unfortunately discrimination against overweight employees in my state isn’t illegal. I’m using some of my PTO time and having a hernia repair too.

Great idea on the fake FB accounts! I will have to do that too! I'm already secretive about WLS, and am looking forward to having plastic surgery after I hit goal, which of course will be another secret surgery!

2 minutes ago, Hop_Scotch said:

I do too. While my real profile is locked down tight, I do like being anonymous in the groups.

yes..... my dummy one is Band Sleeve

22 minutes ago, BayougirlMrsS said:

i have a dummy FB to post on WLS pages.....

I'm going to have to do this. I love the support, input, and ideas that I find when I go to those groups, but knowing that a coworker could find me there causes anxiety.

2

2 minutes ago, ChubRub said:

Great idea on the fake FB accounts! I will have to do that too! I'm already secretive about WLS, and am looking forward to having plastic surgery after I hit goal, which of course will be another secret surgery!

I post no pictures of my face on any of the groups i belong too. I have gone to WLS site and new people or people of people.... it's just easier to have a separate one.

I have told nobody except my husband that I had VSG. I don't intend to either. I told everyone I was having hiatal hernia surgery because they have a similar recovery. I had already started on a good regimen of biking and Peloton and everyone knows I eat pretty healthy, so I actually started losing weight slowly a couple months before my surgery date (5/15/20). And I intend on keeping up those habits post-op. I'm just a very private person, I do not ever put my deeply personal business out there to anyone, people talk, people judge, and I don't need any of that negativity. I know I can't control what people say or think, but I can control what they know about me. Just my personal comfort level and my decision.

My close family and a few coworkers know. Mostly the coworkers because they've went through it already and are mostly why I even considered really going thru with surgery.

Idk why I haven't told anyone else. I don't feel ashamed of it, but it's still something I feel should be private.

I just started the bariatric journey (got a couple of appointments with different surgeons). While in the past I’ve kept weight loss struggles and attempts private, this time I’m telling a lot of people ahead of time. There’s no shame in saying I’m having surgery. If somehow it doesn’t work out I don’t owe anyone explanations. But I don’t think abstaining from social events because I don’t want to explain my lack of eating or forgoing support that is readily available will get me anywhere. I wasn’t able to do it alone before, so I’m trying to change my rules hoping for a different result

I talked about it with a couple of people when deciding if I would get the surgery. I didn't like the way most responded. So, once I had it, I never spoke of it and avoided the topic since I already knew how they felt about it.

3 hours ago, Violetsareblue said:

I have told nobody except my husband that I had VSG. I don't intend to either. I told everyone I was having hiatal hernia surgery because they have a similar recovery. I had already started on a good regimen of biking and Peloton and everyone knows I eat pretty healthy, so I actually started losing weight slowly a couple months before my surgery date (5/15/20). And I intend on keeping up those habits post-op. I'm just a very private person, I do not ever put my deeply personal business out there to anyone, people talk, people judge, and I don't need any of that negativity. I know I can't control what people say or think, but I can control what they know about me. Just my personal comfort level and my decision.

I'm having hiatal hernia surgery too! ? No one I know needs to know any more than that!

Good timing! Yes, I'm really private too so when I confide in or ask for opinions it's pretty serious to me. I won't make that mistake again!

I've never been "ashamed" of having WLS.... just didn't want to deal with all the crap that comes with it. I had the experience of telling and NOT telling is wayyyyy better. Like @FinallyLosingIt20 said: I know I can't control what people say or think, but I can control what they know about me.

I like that saying.... i'm going to use that more.

23 hours ago, BayougirlMrsS said:

how far are you from the Hospital? If you can, schedule a driver. Have them drop you off and then have them pick you up.

I live about an hour away from the hospital, in a rural area (no Uber or Lyft out here). What kind of driver do you suggest? I normally drive myself everywhere, so I'm not even sure what the options are around here.

Luclily, I was driving after I was released from the hospital. My mom drove from the hospital to her house , then I drove myself home which is about 25 minutes away. Then picked up my kids after school from aftercare.

10 months out. I’m still keeping my surgery a secret. Sort of. Besides for my parents siblings and two good friends I can trust. I don’t think it’s anyone’s business. When someone asks me what I’m doing I shrug it off or tell them I’m eating healthier- which is the honest truth.