I’m not planning on telling anyone aside from 4 family members that I’m having surgery. Did anyone else keep their surgery a secret? How did that work for you?

I’m asking because I work at a place that has extreme fat shaming practices and has terribly discriminatory practices as well. Unfortunately discrimination against overweight employees in my state isn’t illegal. I’m using some of my PTO time and having a hernia repair too.

I told some people. Key people around me, but not everyone. I figure I can’t avoid people knowing forever, as they will see the rapid decline in my weight. So if they ask, I’ll be honest. But I’m not going to go out of my way to tell people.

So far, I’ve only told my my best friend who will be my surgery companion, another close friend, my mom and one of my cousins. I’m not a super private person with the majority of things,I’m actually pretty transparent with a lot. However, I want to get through the surgery and upright on the recovery and regimen development before I really even talk about it because I don’t have the energy to deal with people’s questions, objections and the like. For now,I need support from those who love and know me well, while I navigate this.

I told most of my family but had numerous people ask me if they didn't see me for a few months they would ask because I lost 154lbs in 8 months that's why ?

I'm so glad to see this topic because I am not planning on telling anyone. Not my parents, not my siblings, and definitely not my coworkers. It is between me and my doctors.

My coworkers are obsessive about their weight and talk about their diets and workouts constantly. Several of us just went back to the office after working from home for two months, and they all spent the first hour talking about how much weight they lost and complimenting each other on their weight loss. They generally leave me out of it because I guess it's obvious I'm not into that. Funny thing is that I've lost 25 pounds in the last two months and nobody noticed. I'm a very private person in general, so they usually leave me alone, but I'm afraid they're going to start asking questions once I start losing rapidly after surgery. They're very brazen about discussing weight; one time, a coworker straight up asked our boss how much he weighs!

I am a fairly private person too, no one knows about my revision.

Just because someone asks doesn't mean you need to answer...ignore the question, change the subject etc.

I have two weight loss procedures...one non-surgical (ESG) I only told one person because the doctor insisted I have someone with me following the procedure. It really wasn't necessary, but if it wasn't for that I wouldn't have told anyone. You can guarantee that someone will tell someone and before you know it.....
I had a sleeve in mid March, no one knows at all...those who knew I was going in for surgery, I told them I was having gall bladder surgery. It helped that my surgery was was of state and I travelled solo.
Because of the time off for surgery and then working from home most of the time, and the social isolation at the moment, I haven't seen that many people for then to question what may seem like sudden weight loss. If anyone asks I will be telling them I lost a little weight before surgery (true) and have kept up the healthy eating habits and exercise since then (also true).
It must be awful going into a workplace that is like that...such culture is driven from the top down, must be some terrible people there.

Telling coworkers is not an good idea. I did my surgery last June and I didn't tell them as any thing. They notice I loosing weight. I told them the same. I don't cares about anyone

I am only telling immediate family members

I am just about 6 years post VSG! I told my immediate family- spouse, kids, parents.

I told my immediate co-workers because my job is such that nobody could cover me and there were many inquiries about why I was taking 5 weeks off.

I didn't tell anyone else. Not siblings, close cousins. Nobody. No old friends, nobody. I still don't freely share the info unless I'm asked by somebody who heard it elsewhere.

I have an extended family that is VERY judgmental, who live through the eyes of female value is ranked by looks, hair, clothes, car, etc. Never mind that I have 2 master's degrees, and half way done with a doctorate and am a practicing Nurse Practitioner. Didn't matter.

So even now, it is still an identity that I have- a bariatric patient- but not something I yell from the rafters.

I am working toward having gastric sleeve surgery in a few months. So far, I have told my daughter, and 1 friend. Years ago, I had lapband surgery and told everyone I knew. Everyone was an expert on how it would fail, so when I had it removed last summer, I didn't tell anyone. Last week, I was told that I'll need someone with me after I go home. There goes my plan of keeping it quiet, but maybe the thing to do is talk to my best friend and tell her to not discuss my business with everyone she knows, and from there, take my chances.

I only told my spouse. Mostly because I didn’t want my parents trying to travel to the surgery since it was in a place that has more Covid cases than my town. I told them right after surgery though.

I told everyone. I had two coworkers have surgery before me and my mom had surgery 4 months before I did. Because of my coworkers I knew our benefits plan would cover it and short term disability would fully cover my time off. Because of my mom I knew I needed to do it because the issues I was having due to my weight were not going away. I am lucky to work for a company that is supportive of employees having the surgery though.

1 hour ago, Bjc1227 said:

I am working toward having gastric sleeve surgery in a few months. So far, I have told my daughter, and 1 friend. Years ago, I had lapband surgery and told everyone I knew. Everyone was an expert on how it would fail, so when I had it removed last summer, I didn't tell anyone. Last week, I was told that I'll need someone with me after I go home. There goes my plan of keeping it quiet, but maybe the thing to do is talk to my best friend and tell her to not discuss my business with everyone she knows, and from there, take my chances.

I live by myself and I travelled by myself for surgery. Not sure how long your will be in hospital following the surgery, I was there for two nights, spent one night in hotel accommodation. Travelled home and was required to spend 14 nights in quarantine by myself. Not sure why you'd actually need anyone with you unless you are actually feeling unwell or you feel like you need the support of someone there.

My recovery was pretty good though, very little gas pain ( I was up walking within hours of the surgery and walked a lot after that,), there was some soreness around the incision sites but nothing unbearable. I had no nausea or vomiting either, I did feel something like a cramp in my stomach when I first started liquids but it gone within seconds.

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4 minutes ago, Hop_Scotch said:

I live by myself and I travelled by myself for surgery. Not sure how long your will be in hospital following the surgery, I was there for two nights, spent one night in hotel accommodation. Travelled home and was required to spend 14 nights in quarantine by myself. Not sure why you'd actually need anyone with you unless you are actually feeling unwell or you feel like you need the support of someone there.

@Hop_Scotch, did you drive yourself home from the hotel? How did you get from the hospital to the hotel? This is one detail I am still trying to figure out, since I will not be allowed to drive myself home after the surgery. I live in a rural area about an hour from the hospital and I have no one to drive me there (unless I hire someone to drive).

13 minutes ago, BigSue said:

@Hop_Scotch, did you drive yourself home from the hotel? How did you get from the hospital to the hotel? This is one detail I am still trying to figure out, since I will not be allowed to drive myself home after the surgery. I live in a rural area about an hour from the hospital and I have no one to drive me there (unless I hire someone to drive).

Aaah so the hospital require is perhaps more about the driving....I had a five minute walk to the hospital from my accommodation and arranged an for an uber driver (who did work outside of uber) to pick me up. I found him on gumtree when I had an endscope prior to the surgery a few weeks before, as it was a day procedure I definitely needed someone to pick me up then and they had to come to the ward after the hospital had called them.

Following the surgery I was able to call him and meet him downstairs at the drive through pick up point. If my bag hadn't been a little heavy I would have walked back to my hotel. He took me to the airport the next day.

Once home, I probably shouldn't have driven but my car was at the airport, it was a 10 minute drive on a back road with no traffic.

Can you tell your friend you will be having a hernia or gall bladder surgery?