Hi there! I have chosen to not make my surgery public to anyone but my husband, my counselor, and ONE friend. I am curious if anyone else out here has done that or similar and is farther our of surgery than me and what your experience has been (I'm only a month out). It's hard as I am normally a pretty open person, especially to my mom who I tell almost EVERYthing to! I struggle with it at times but made the choice to keep it to myself. I have yet to meet or hear of anyone else who has done the same!? Thanks!

Outside of my husband I only told my two best friends. I won't tell my family because of how toxic they can be.

Thanks Plur that is good to know! For me it wasn't a toxic thing necessarily, I just know how judgmental some people I know can be (I guess that IS a form of toxicity, haha!) and I don't want a million nosy questions like "why can't you just lose it "naturally?" and "have you tried diets?" and stuff like that. I used to have some of the same thoughts before going through this journey myself, and see how it really is/the hard work, etc. When people comment on your weight loss, or ask how you're doing it, what do you tell them?Mmy plan is to just say something along the lines of "I stopped eating crap nonstop and started exercising more!" which is the truth anyway ? Botton line is it's a personal choice and I get to choose who to tell and who not to, right?! ?

Yes I have I dont want anyone to discourage me.I didn't want to hear all the negativity about having surgery

Sure, some of us keep our surgeries private but eventually speculation will catch up to you. You'll have to decide how to proceed from there.

Congratulations & Good Luck ?

I'm a lot more open about mine now that I'm almost five years out and have been in maintenance for three years. The first few years, however, I pretty much just told my immediate family and my close friends. I was also honest if another obese person asked me how I did it (because they'd never believe the "diet and exercise" excuse). As far as skinny people go, I just told them I was working with a dietitian, doing a high protein/low carb diet, and exercising like a fiend. Most skinny people believe that schlock.

I'm nine years out and only my physician and a friend who was considering the sleeve for herself know I had surgery. I've always thought that my medical history is private and should remain private.

I, too, have only chosen to tell only a few people. Outside of my husband and teen-aged kids, only my closest friends know. If someone asks I just tell them I am working with a NUT on a high protein//low carb diet. BTW @Freedom&Bliss, we are both from NH

Thank you so much Chris (GO NH!) and Foxbins!!

It is very common to keep weight loss procedures private, you will find many posts here about the same thing.

Only my husband knows. Rny dec 2017. I started with an extreme healthy diet change and robust exercise routine prior to surgery so folks really didn’t question more than that. The way I see it it’s none of their business. Now over two years out it’s up to me to keep it off.

Last year when I was talking about it, I posted it publicly to friends and family. I got A LOT of kick back. Even to the point of losing a friend or two. (*shrugs* true colors showing)

Fast forward to now, and I have the funds saved up to have the sleeve done. My husband and mother are the only ones in family who know. My co-workers know, because being with them 50 hours a week, they are an awesome support team. As far as friends, there is a select handful that I have told, only due to 2 of them actually having bypass/sleeve and them offering to mentor and help as needed.

I was blindsided on how people are about the operation. It seemed like either they were 100% for it, or 100% not. Very few looked at the fact that its something for my health. I was blind sided by those who gave me so much grief for thinking about getting it done.

Its an odd fine line. And if you come across those who you do tell and they are majorly supportive and helpful. Cling to them with major hugs.

This is for everyone... have you found that those did not support or believe in it were morbidly obese or at least already overweight themselves or was there no correlation to their weights?

There was a time I was in the NO WAY camp then I had a friend who's life changed so quickly and I got on board pretty quickly. I have told everyone but I can see why a lot of people keep it a secret.

1 minute ago, Brent701 said:

This is for everyone... have you found that those did not support or believe in it were morbidly obese or at least already overweight themselves or was there no correlation to their weights?

Quite the oppisite for those who turned a cold shoulder. P was one of those who could eat and eat and eat and lose weight. (10 years knowing her and shes still just as skinny). L was one of those who grew up in a family that worked out 2 hours a day since she could remember so shes always been extremely skinny. Those that seemed to give the greatest support were those who had already had the operation or those who were of the larger size. Many to scared to get it, but are giving support. ((Though I did have one larger friend who when I talked about it rambled on about how they want it but hate having to cut back on pizza and burgers *shakes head*))

so judgemental skinny people got it. Not sure what would be worse the judgemental skinny person or the miserable fat person.

2 minutes ago, Brent701 said:

so judgemental skinny people got it. Not sure what would be worse the judgemental skinny person or the miserable fat person.

I do not think size has a lot to do with it. People are judgmental regardless. What was worse was having friends of 10 years + turn cold shoulder and that people have to hide or consider telling people what they are having done, to help with their health. People don't judge when you have gall bladder removed or kidney stones crushed, but you have operation that is life changing and majorly benefiting your health and (most) lose their minds. Its just sad overall.