Hi there! I have chosen to not make my surgery public to anyone but my husband, my counselor, and ONE friend. I am curious if anyone else out here has done that or similar and is farther our of surgery than me and what your experience has been (I'm only a month out). It's hard as I am normally a pretty open person, especially to my mom who I tell almost EVERYthing to! I struggle with it at times but made the choice to keep it to myself. I have yet to meet or hear of anyone else who has done the same!? Thanks!

I came out of the closet about a month ago - Tired of everyone asking how and are you sick, But I really do not care what anyone else view is on surgery. I kept it a secret except for my girlfriend and my kids.

Get ready for all the questions so get you Bully poop answers ready. - Those who judge have there own issues, So to me just not worth the time or drama! I prefer to be healthy and happy and could give a F#$ck about there views or opinions on WLS surgery, especially those who have not done it or have a clue what they are talking about.

This is you decision and your journey, so You do it your way!

Edited January 23, 20206 yr by AJ Tylo

When I had my surgery, the only people who knew were my husband and 3 or 4 of my trusted friends. I didn't tell the rest of my family, including my children or my parents.

As time has gone by, I have told other people. It just didn't feel as important to keep it a secret. However, at about 1 year out, my kids started asking me questions. They thought I was sick because I wasn't eating much. I told them mostly to relieve their concern. But, the rest of my family still doesn't know.

It can be done, depending on how close you are to your family. I'm not close to mine and I don't see most of them very often. My kids, though, even though they live in another state, they noticed and were genuinely concerned that I was sick.

14 hours ago, Freedom&Bliss said:

Hi there! I have chosen to not make my surgery public to anyone but my husband, my counselor, and ONE friend. I am curious if anyone else out here has done that or similar and is farther our of surgery than me and what your experience has been (I'm only a month out). It's hard as I am normally a pretty open person, especially to my mom who I tell almost EVERYthing to! I struggle with it at times but made the choice to keep it to myself. I have yet to meet or hear of anyone else who has done the same!? Thanks!

My husband knows..... that's it.

When i had the band i eventually told everyone. Biggest mistake ever. This time with the sleeve, only my husband. I didn't tell my kids, my family, my friends (none of them), my co workers.... NO ONE.

So much better. When people started to notice the WL i just told them the truth.... doing crossfit and portion control.

I moved to another state which makes it easier i think. No one except my kids have seen me since SX Aug, 28, 2019

I can promise yall one thing.... you tell one person besides your spouse.... it will get out.... especially if you tell a friend and that friend is a woman.... we love to gossip... and eventually she will get jealous and blabbb...

Let me give you the scenario.... Hey sue.. chris sure has lost a lot of weight.... Well, don't say that i said anything... but she has WLS... BAMMMM

Im almost 6 months post op and havent told anyone except my parents and bf. I plan to keep it that way or the rest of my life lol

I told everyone...I didn’t care what they thought. Most of everyone of my friends, family, and coworkers think I look fantastic. It’s a personal choice

Only my husband knows. I haven’t even told my teen son. I’ve had one in a million health issue i was born with and have only told my husband. Of course my parents knew and told everyone this side of the U.S. lol. It took me years to “forgive” them for sharing my private health problems (diagnosed at 16). Hence, with my sleeve surgery coming up next week—no one but my husband and I will know!

Yes, only my husband, mom and sister know about my upcoming surgery. ?

Only my husband knows! Plan on keeping it that way! Too many gossips in my family, combined with judgment, etc. I've lost weight before, so people are used to seeing me go up and down. I plan on telling people I'm doing high protein, shakes, etc, which is all true of course!

Seems the women are much more secretive than the men about this. Makes sense given the sensitivity. Everyone knows to never ask a woman their weight.

On 1/22/2020 at 10:51 PM, Chris NH said:

I, too, have only chosen to tell only a few people. Outside of my husband and teen-aged kids, only my closest friends know. If someone asks I just tell them I am working with a NUT on a high protein//low carb diet. BTW @Freedom&Bliss, we are both from NH

Hey Chris cool! Where in NH are you from/where was your surgery? You had yours about a month before me. Overall it's been a great experience, a bit of a mindf**k at times, giving up the food that you are used to "turning to" for whatever emotional reason, but it has been SO freeing for me, like a burden lifted! And yeah I don't feel like I will ever tell any more people. It's my choice and my business - I know a few ppl have commented that even telling one person, that makes the risk of ppl finding out more, etc - which may be true depending on who you tell! I know my husband will never say anything, and my one friend who knows won't either. I just can't wait until *I* can see the weight loss - I am down 26 lbs since the day of my surgery and I just don't feel it or see it yet, but I know I will soon, patience!! ?

On 1/23/2020 at 11:27 AM, BayougirlMrsS said:

My husband knows..... that's it.

When i had the band i eventually told everyone. Biggest mistake ever. This time with the sleeve, only my husband. I didn't tell my kids, my family, my friends (none of them), my co workers.... NO ONE.

So much better. When people started to notice the WL i just told them the truth.... doing crossfit and Portion Control.

I moved to another state which makes it easier i think. No one except my kids have seen me since SX Aug, 28, 2019

I can promise yall one thing.... you tell one person besides your spouse.... it will get out.... especially if you tell a friend and that friend is a woman.... we love to gossip... and eventually she will get jealous and blabbb...

Let me give you the scenario.... Hey sue.. chris sure has lost a lot of weight.... Well, don't say that i said anything... but she has WLS... BAMMMM

Haha I get that for sure - the one friend I told, I told her because she also had the sleeve a year ago and I completely trust her, so I am not afraid of that, but it's so true! She's been a great source of support and me asking questions and whatnot - she made her surgery public to everyone, but I agree it's definitely a personal choice! ?

On 1/23/2020 at 5:39 PM, walkthewalk said:

Only my husband knows. I haven’t even told my teen son. I’ve had one in a million health issue i was born with and have only told my husband. Of course my parents knew and told everyone this side of the U.S. lol. It took me years to “forgive” them for sharing my private health problems (diagnosed at 16). Hence, with my sleeve surgery coming up next week—no one but my husband and I will know!

good for you.... but you see what i mean by people telling... and it was your own parents.... Promise you @walkthewalk you will never regrate NOT telling. Start exercising and when people start to ask... tell them the truth like me.... Crossfit and portion control. Which is 100% truth.

On 1/24/2020 at 6:58 AM, Brent701 said:

Seems the women are much more secretive than the men about this. Makes sense given the sensitivity. Everyone knows to never ask a woman their weight.

@Brent7 We are more secretive, but we can't be trusted with not blabbbbing.... I got sleeved 8/28/19... so 5 months ago and i have lost 39lbs... I told the people at the Crossfit, work and friends here I would be out for Hernia SX. Which turned out to be true. Dr. found a Hiatal hernia and fixed it. Anyway, by Sept. 26 (wedding day) i had lost 20lbs. I had only made it to the gym a few times before we left to get married in GA. But people at the gym and at work did notice the 20lbs. very few said anything. Had to take off another couple week for some deep tissue mole removals.... went back at about 25ish lbs... same few said,.. you're looking great. then of course Holidays and Hunting season and came and well if i have a choice between working out and hunting.... I'm going hunting. and trust the 1/2 mile walk with 10lbs of extra clothes, 10 backpack and a gun is no easy task. Anyway, fast forward to January and now im back...... 39lbs down and it seems like everyone has noticed and has come up to me to say...... Wow chris you have lost a lot of weight.... How (cuz they know i haven't been there)... I just say portion control.

And it's not just the women asking.... men too....

30 minutes ago, Freedom&Bliss said:

Haha I get that for sure - the one friend I told, I told her because she also had the sleeve a year ago and I completely trust her, so I am not afraid of that, but it's so true! She's been a great source of support and me asking questions and whatnot - she made her surgery public to everyone, but I agree it's definitely a personal choice! ?

I did the same thing when i had the band sx in 2009. I my wonderful friend Paula had had Band sx and she was a great confidant and support system. At first the only people that knew were my now x husband, kids, a few close friends and one or two co workers..... Well that didn't last long.... It, of course, got out about the Band... so then i just told everyone that asked. I hated getting the looks and the OHHHHH.

This time.... it has been wonderful not getting the "looks or the OHHH".

I only told my husband. It's nobody else's business.