I'm about to start the process, my insurance gives hoops to jump through , and I have my first appointment with a surgeon next week. It will be probably at least 6 months before I can get a surgery date. My fiancé is unbelievably supportive, but I'm too embarrassed to tell anybody at work, and I know my siblings and parents will think I'm being extreme and should just try harder on my own. I have lost 80 pounds on my own in the past but it came back with bonus weight. Did anybody have their surgery without telling their families ?

I have told my boyfriend and my sister. Sister told our mom and a mutual friend. No one has really said anything about it to me though.

I'm 3 months post op and only 3 people know about my surgery. I plan to keep it private, it's no one else's business.

I've only told my husband, and I don't plan on telling anyone else.

My sister and did it together, and we told our mom, and my husband. As another responder said, we are part of the EXTREMELY PRIVATE group. We've always been that way with every aspect of our lives! That has also meant that we don't feel obligated to give explanations to others about anything; least of all our WLS. Be it faimly, friends, or co-workers! We have a huge family where everyone always seems to be in everyone else's business, so we've had plenty of practice handling nosey people. We don't give others' interest a second thought. Heck, we don't give them a first thought, so no chance in getting to a second! I've read many posts where others find that difficult, and honestly, I can't relate!

My recommendation is to keep it a secret for now. This will give you the opportunity to step back, and determine how you want to proceed. If you determine later that you don't mind others knowing, then you've lost nothing. On the other hand, if you tell others, and decide you don't want them knowing, you can't "un-tell" it! Your decision is just that, YOUR decision! Don't tell others simply out of obligation, or because you are trying to appease them and their comfort level! You may be perfectly ok telling everyone; there are many people here that took (and will take that approach). Whatever you decide, make sure it's what's best for you!

Good luck on your journey!

I'm keeping it to myself except for my immediate family. A best friend of mine had surgery and she was placed under a magnifying glass with every food she put in her mouth and why arent you thin yet? A whole lot of comments she really didn't need that put her under extreme pressure.

I have told only my immediate family (3 sons and husband) and the people in my small group from church and two close friends. My extended family lives 8 hours away so they are not nearby to know I was missing in action for a couple of days and have been losing weight. Before surgery I didn't want the people that knew horror stories to tell them to me and have those in my head. Now I am just not sure how long term I will handle it. Still thinking....

I personally don't care who knows! I am 'owning' my decision and have been surprised that so many people have been super supportive. One or two have given me a disapproving look. But who cares? What is right for one person may not bee for another. I need the extra 'kick in the butt' that surgery will provide. Drastic? Perhaps. But I'm not looking back.

I only told my immediate family, and a couple of close friends. I made the decision upfront and it had nothing to do with embarrassment. I'm a private person and my business is my business. That was the only criteria I based it upon.

I'm now 15 weeks post op and I have no regrets. There is no right or wrong in relation to whether you tell or not tell. It should be tailored solely to fit your personal comfort zone.

Best of luck!

@@lovelylala I told 3 of my good friends, and they all live out of state. One of them came and was here with me for surgery. No one else knows, and I plan on keeping it that way.

I have known other people that had surgery and they can be at gatherings and parties and people will ask them about their surgery and what they are eating and all kinds of stuff. 5 years from now I don't want to be stuck answering stupid questions in public from people that feel like they are entitled to your life.

Now that I am almost 4 months out I am really happy I made the decision to keep it quiet. At this point I function just like a normal person with a smaller appetite.

Edited November 8, 201510 yr by OutsideMatchInside

So far only my mom and therapist know my plans to do the surgery. I recently mentioned it to my best friend and her response was "you don't need that! You're not big enough!" (My bmi begs to differ!)

I haven't told my boyfriend yet and am really stressing about that. We met when I was thin and he's seen me fluctuate over the years, but I still think he sees me as I looked when we first met, and I'm afraid he might view me differently. I know I need to tell him and I will.

Finally, I don't plan on telling anyone at work, which is causing me to rack my brain to figure out when to schedule it and how to take time off if needed (I'm a teacher and am praying that I can do it over a vacation week)!

I'm pretty much just echoing everyone else, but I only told a select few people. My husband, parents, and sister were the only ones who knew before surgery. I've told a few other friends and family members since, but otherwise I just keep it to myself.

Remember that you can always tell more people down the road if you choose, but you can't ever un-tell So choose wisely!

Yes! I had surgery over 2 years ago and my family knows, and then only a handful of close friends who I chose to tell. Others may suspect it. I don't know. But I didn't feel an obligation to tell anyone other than my immediate family. I mean, I'm sure my friends and co-workers don't tell me everything about their medical history, so I don't feel compelled to either. :-)

The only people who know are my husband and my three children (2 teenagers and one adult). I am losing weight at a slow enogh pace so that friends and acquantainces are not suspicious. I work from home so none of my co- workers have ever met me--- so no problems there. The most challenging people to evade will be my snooping, snivelling in- laws! Since i will be hosting Thanksgiving this year, it will be hard to hide my eating habits. I have already cleared my pantry of protein shakes and powder,

I'm having a tough time with this. When I first decided, I was thinking that I'd eventually be open about it, but decided to keep it on a need-to-know basis for the time being.

"Need to know" turned out to be my wife (of course) and family with whom I had events scheduled that would not have been able to cancel without hurting them.

Unfortunately, my mother is 92 and she forgets that it's a secret. She also is full of old school misinformation about WLS (it doesn't work, the surgery is a magic trick and I don't have to do anything else). I know that's she's told three people and probably more.

Meanwhile, I haven't been telling any of my close friends and I'm afraid they'll find out from someone my mother told and be upset that I didn't tell them!

My "story" has been evolving...

1. My BMI was in the high 30's and I carried it well, so people didn't consider me obese (I think).

2. I have been dropping weight very fast (57 pounds since August) and people are blown away.

3. I have been holed up in a remote vacation home and avoiding social activity for 3 months, but now I'm back in a very social community; I think people will notice that I'm only eating 4 ounces of food.

4. My current thinking is to respond to people who ask me "how are you doing it?" with:

- I discovered I had diabetes in the summer (true)

- My primary care doctor wanted to go down the diabetes treatment path (true)

- Instead, I entered a physician supervised medical Weight Loss Program (true)

- I have been an A+ patient (true)

This way, I can always concede that a surgical procedure was part of the program - if I feel the need.

Why would I feel the need?

I have a lot of close friends who would benefit from a VSG and I'd like to help them find this path...

I wish I hadn't told anyone!

I started out thinking I was going to keep it private from everyone except my hubby and kids but at some point I decided that I don't give a flying flip about what anyone thinks. Let them judge me.....suggest its the "lazy persons diet" I don't give a crap. So i told everyone except my mother who is 91 and whom has obsessed about my weight my entire life....I was her one failure as a mother. She has some dementia and gets really repetitive so I just want to avoid the negativity she will bring . I told her i had my gall bladder out (which was true).