I'm about to start the process, my insurance gives hoops to jump through , and I have my first appointment with a surgeon next week. It will be probably at least 6 months before I can get a surgery date. My fiancé is unbelievably supportive, but I'm too embarrassed to tell anybody at work, and I know my siblings and parents will think I'm being extreme and should just try harder on my own. I have lost 80 pounds on my own in the past but it came back with bonus weight. Did anybody have their surgery without telling their families ?

I told my close family... Siblings, a few cousins. I didn't tell my parents until a few days before my surgery. I knew they would be the'doubting Thomas's.' I Only told two close friends at work (neither I work with daily anymore). Those I've told have been remarkably supportive; and I'm certain I made an equally good choice in opting not to tell anyone else.

I have only told my mother and two trusted friends. That's it. Im a private person anyway. My mom is very supportive of my decision, for she has watched me thru out my life struggle with this weight.

@@lovelylala --

You don't have to tell anyone you don't wish to tell. If your med plan from work is covering your surgery, people in your benefits office will know, but they are required to keep the information confidential.

When co-workers and family comment on your weight loss, simply tell them that you've been eating differently and exercising. They may be suspicious and badger you into revealing surgery. If that occurs, some probably will say that you're taking the easy way. They are wrong. We do the same things anyone does -- again, make great changes in eating habits and exercising. The surgery is an aid to the effort, but we are the ones doing the work.

Somethings are better left unsaid, I believe you will endure too much criticism and be deterred from what is right for you, and potentially make the wrong decision based upon what others opinions are. They are haters.

Edited November 7, 201510 yr by BeautifulSwans

So far, only my husband and two friends who have also had WLS know. I don't plan to tell more than a handful of people. Part of my reasoning is that I do NOT want my weight loss process (the losses, the stalls, the what-have-you's) to be the focus of attention. I just don't need the scrutiny.

I am scheduled for the 16th of this month. I have told my husband & kids, my parents, my sister, and my boss. That is all that I will ever tell. Everyone else will be told I worked my rear end off to be healthy, and that will not be a lie.

I am not a very private person and talk openly about the surgery with anyone who asks. As I have said in other posts, "I had 85% of my stomach removed" gets interesting reactions. I do wonder if they are looking at me more closely, trying to see the weight loss. I'm only down about one clothing size, so it isn't too obvious. I understand why someone would not want to tell everyone. I guess I don't care who knows or what they think.

@@lovelylala hi there. I told no one. A couple people at work have now guessed and I confirmed their guess . I continue to keep this very close and if anyone asks I'm losing weight by exercise and no carbs.

I'm four months in this process and I have told my therapist, a friend (who is a therapist as well) and one person at work. The only reason I told the person at work is because I needed her to drive me back after being under anesthesia from needing the endoscopy done. i haven't told my other coworkers because I have heard them talk about others we know that we work with as (a result of our jobs) who had WLS. Comments such as "well if she could lose weight before surgery, why can't she keep it up and make it a lifestyle" and "I don't know why she had WLS, look at what she eats and drinks."

My therapist tells me there's no way I am going to be able to keep it a secret and I know people will know eventually but I chose not to tell at this point. I am and have always been a private person anyway. I will end up having to tell my boss and once that occurs, the entire office will know because she doesn't know the meaning of confidential, although she is supposed to keep it confidential I request her to. I had surgery in July and she announced it in the staff meeting and I was only gone for two days! I asked her not to tell anyone! I will request confidentiality again but i'm not holding my breath!

I have no family close. I haven't even told my mom but I will but only because I will need transportation to and from surgery (which is 3 hours from my home).

I think it's fine if you chose not to tell people, especially if you feel they will not be supportive.

Only my closest family and two close friends know about my surgery.

I told my children and my husband only while I was in the process of being approved. Two weeks before surgery, I told my best friends at our GNO. Three days before my surgery, I told my mother and my father.

I didn't tell coworkers, other friends or in-laws. I didn't tell neighbors or acquaintances. I didn't tell my hair dresser or pharmacist. I've only told maybe 10 people that are not related by blood and I have no intention of doing so.

It's never been awkward or an issue because I won't let it be.

I'm just in the research process, but I think I will likely keep the information initially to husband, sister, mom. My brother likely would find out/be told as well but I don't know that I need to have that discussion with him.

My parents and sister knew when i made up my mind and they were extremely supportive. I told a few coworkers while i was in the process and a few more when i was approved. They have all been supportive and are happy for me. I wont tell coworkers i dont converse with.

Nobody knows except my husband, sister, parents and 2 close friends.

I fall into the 'extremely private group'...My husband, and 1 of my 2 children (the one still attending college & living @ home) are the only people that know. When I think about anyone @ work knowing, I cringe...I'm just "THAT private". To me, sharing personal health information with anyone seems to be asking for unwanted gossip, drama...and this is such a personal, intimate, life-altering decision for me, that I don't consider it to be something I care to broadcast..The positive changes and health benefits will be MY well-deserved outcome...The masses don't need to know about my personal choices--they aren't paying my insurance or bills...so it is my choice as to who knows.