I'm about to start the process, my insurance gives hoops to jump through , and I have my first appointment with a surgeon next week. It will be probably at least 6 months before I can get a surgery date. My fiancé is unbelievably supportive, but I'm too embarrassed to tell anybody at work, and I know my siblings and parents will think I'm being extreme and should just try harder on my own. I have lost 80 pounds on my own in the past but it came back with bonus weight. Did anybody have their surgery without telling their families ?

I'm starting too and I'm only letting minimal people know . I feel like it's better that way. Not everyone who is a listening ear needs to know your Business. On top of that not everyone will have the best of intentions with their opinion .

Edited November 24, 201510 yr by hazelzay

I wish I had not told anyone but my husband. I only told my sister,my parents and a friend.

My sister finds it "drastic" and makes constant comments about how she would never do it. My mom seemed supportive at first,but won't even discuss it with me now. Thankfully my husband and friend are supportive! Dec 8th is my surgery date!

One of my close friends had gastric bypass 5 years ago. Most people in our circle of friends only acted supportive to her face. They would tell everyone her business, gossip about her, judge her. These are her best friends! She lost 150 pounds. She is beautiful. Most people are jealous and still talk behind her back. 5 years later gastric bypass still defines her. ..even if she doesn't realize the whispers/snide remarks. People call her anorexic and judge everything she eats still. She also gets those snide compliments. "You look great, you're so lucky you got gastric bypass" "I wish I could lose weight by doing nothing" "oh sweetie you look like you are starving to death"

Every time she is sick gastric bypass is to blame. So I almost laugh when someone says everyone is supportive....I still think people just pretend. I moved away and am not in this circle of friends anymore. When I go visit they STILL talk about her "she looks like she is gaining weight"

My husband knows and one child knows I had the sleeve. I will never tell anyone else. I'm looking out for myself only, not giving everyone something to talk about. ......just my experience and opinion

One of my close friends had gastric bypass 5 years ago. Most people in our circle of friends only acted supportive to her face. They would tell everyone her business, gossip about her, judge her. These are her best friends! She lost 150 pounds. She is beautiful. Most people are jealous and still talk behind her back. 5 years later gastric bypass still defines her. ..even if she doesn't realize the whispers/snide remarks. People call her anorexic and judge everything she eats still. She also gets those snide compliments. "You look great, you're so lucky you got gastric bypass" "I wish I could lose weight by doing nothing" "oh sweetie you look like you are starving to death"

Every time she is sick gastric bypass is to blame. So I almost laugh when someone says everyone is supportive....I still think people just pretend. I moved away and am not in this circle of friends anymore. When I go visit they STILL talk about her "she looks like she is gaining weight"

My husband knows and one child knows I had the sleeve. I will never tell anyone else. I'm looking out for myself only, not giving everyone something to talk about. ......just my experience and opinion

That is horrible! And ya know what it doesn't surprise me. That is why only family knows. Was considering telling once I'm on the road to great success but this gives me pause. I'm doing the right thing.

The only people I told were my mom, step dad, a cousin and aunt, and my best friend.

I'm not ashamed of having the surgery, I just didn't want people to try to talk me out of it. I didn't even tell my dad because he lives across the country and I didn't want to worry him.

I'm currently laying in my hospital bed after having the surgery just this morning and I've told a few more friends and they've been wonderful. As time goes on I'll reveal it a bit more, this is the best thing I've ever done for myself.

i am usually an open book about things, but regarding my VSG surgery I stayed private. I only told my husband and my sister. My other family members and friends are completely unaware, as are my young children. I decided this, because I only wanted positive energy/comments regarding this very important decision I made to have the surgery - I didn't want any negativity to bring me down and I knew there would be if I openly discussed it. I knew as well, if I told everyone close to me it would be like giving them all permission to talk about it, and make judgements whenever they chose to ( my family is like this).

3 weeks out and I am happy I kept it private has it been a bit isolating? Yes, but that is why I come on this site so often....help me feel less alone through this process and to get support

When I was first contemplating surgery, I spoke to my sister-in-law who also struggles with her weight. She told me to touch base with our cousin, Dee because Dee had weight loss surgery. Apparently, she didn't tell many people. I texted her saying "I'm thinking about having bariatric surgery. Linda said you might be a good source of information." The response I got from her was: "I've heard some people have great success with that." So..... I didn't push any farther as I assume she doesn't want to discuss her surgery. It was strange being on the other side of the fence. I think this is a big reason why I have been an open book about it.

I am lucky in so many ways to work remote from the office. I work from home. While I miss seeing old friends from the office, having my eating habits scrutinized is off the table. I do get into the office a couple times a year though.

A few years ago I lost 170 lbs with a low carb diet. I went into the office and I it was amazing the comments and congratulations I got. Walking into the office whilst going back that 170 lbs the astonished looks were about as telling. Regardless if it was surgery or diet and exercise you will have people talking. It is human nature. I explained the diet I was on to those who asked back then. I'm undecided if I will just say same diet when the weight loss is noticed the next time or not.

I have told brothers, sister, and dad. They are all very supportive but they live in the small home town I grew up in. I am sure with my family, since I didn't say "this is a secret" they have told cousins, aunts, neighbors, etc. I will probably be on the prayer chain as well. It is too late to put the news back in the box, but I trust these people love me. Regardless of their feelings about surgery, they will support me. I do regret school mates may know.... Old feelings of being taunted still haunt me there.

I am going through this right now. I'm scheduled for 12/22 and have only told 3 people. After reading people's experiences with this I have decided not to even let my close friends know for fear of being judged constantly. I told my co-workers I'm having a different type surgery done (which is hard since I work in health care and they have all kinds of questions). I hate lying but I can't take it back once the cats out of the bag and don't want to regret telling everyone.

I told my co-workers I'm having a different type surgery done (which is hard since I work in health care and they have all kinds of questions).

My in-laws are staying on our property at the moment. My mother-in-law is a nurse (and so is her sister) - I'm not sure what I can come up with that will satisfy her curiosity/concern but also won't give away the truth.

I'm thinking of just saying something super vague like "I'm just going to get a few things looked at" or "taken care of". I have no problem following up with an "it's nothing I want to discuss" but I resent the fact they'll even know I'm leaving the house for anything health-related.

At first I didn't want anyone to know. Now I don't care. I'd rather people know because I've gone through a lot and I don't want the to think I'm just crazy!! plus I don't like lying to people when they ask me how I lost weight. And it's a part of my life now.

But it's your choice. Don't feel like you have to share, it's totally up to you!! It's a private decision.