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My band is a big secret ... anyone else?

My surgery is scheduled for 9/29 in Mexico. My husband is coming with me and he is the only person I am telling about the surgery. It's mostly because I don't want to answer the questions - it's exhausting! I've dieted most of life and been up and down over and over. I hate that people tell me I don't look "that bad". I wear a size 12-14 for bottom and 14-16 for tops or dresses.

I'm very nervous especially since I don't have a support system. My husband isn't even in agreement -- he's going only because I'm making him go. Anyone else out there doing this alone?

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My wife is in healthcare and was very skeptical about WLS. Not anymore. Everything is better if you know what I mean. Your hubby will love you for this in a few months.

I told no one....took a weeks vacation time and had the surgery...at first everyone had many compliments and wanted to know my secret...I simply said I eat less, eat healthy, with plenty of daily protein and water, gave up a lot of foods, and get plenty of exercise. I would use my medical history as the motivating factor. (loose weight or die)

Now, everyone has forgotten about my weight loss...it is old news...and have become used to me being this way and take it for granted.... and new people I meet never knew me when I was fat, so I don't have to explain anything....

Some people, when I tell them I was once upon a time 100+ lbs heavier, they simply cannot believe me....

Edited by B-52

  • Author

Thank you! I'm looking forward to the life change!

I think it was easier for me to tell people I had WLS because I had so many physical issues and my friends and family were so encouraging. As B-52 notes, if you are successful long enough, people embrace the new you as the 'normal' you. I've met several business associates recently who did not know me when I was obese. I like that they only know the thin me I think even more than those who knew me when and shower me with compliments. It tends to remind me of what I used to look like and I do prefer obviously what I look like now.

Once you are feeling better about yourself, you may find that you are more open about undergoing the surgery. Just do whatever makes you feel most comfortable. There is no right or wrong with this decision.

Edited by gowalking

I have told everyone i know church work personal. But it is because i need help to not cheat on this crazy preop diet. That makes me accountable to a lot of people. But it sounds like u might not have such a big issue with food?? Well goidluck just dont drink the water????

I have told only my husband and one friend from work. Husband says he's supportive but hasn't done one thing to research the band or come to any of my dr appointments. I kind of always in life have to forge ahead on my own since I was a kid so this is no different.

Right now I have so much shame about my weight and an so afraid that I won't stick to the plan and lose nothing. I will likely tell my sister right before surgery in case I have complications but I will play it by ear.

Good luck. I agree with someone who said that as you are successful you may be more inclined to disclose it.

My band is a big secret also, I feel sort of crappy lying to everyone all throughout the pre op liquid stage and now that I am post op.....I am telling people I have the flu.....hopefully I will feel better soon and be back on the social scene....even my mother doesn't know .....and she is quite a foodie, telling me what she ate everyday and asking me what I had lol.....I lied and told her what the hubby ate.....it should all be worth it in the end!

My surgery is scheduled for 10/17 and I decided before I was approved that I wasn't going to tell anyone. Only my husband knows. I don't want to hear how I shouldn't get the procedure done, it's this, it's that, I know people who......blah, blah, blah. I'm doing this for me and I don't care what anyone thinks. I'll tell my parents when I can no longer dodge the "what are you doing?" questions though.

I had originally planned on keeping mine a secret, at least for a little while. I ended up telling everyone though(long story as to WHY) but I was pleasantly surprised at how supportive MOST people were. My family wasn't really very supportive initially but they also didn't understand the health issues I was having as a result of my weight problem. Once I confessed all of that, they understood that it was a risk I needed to take in order to save my life and they were much more supportive after that. I tell people all the time that I've had weight loss surgery. It doesn't bother me that people know. Either way, it is YOUR decision. If you're uncomfortable with sharing that info with others, then you shouldn't tell anyone. It's an individual choice and one that only you can make for yourself.

I am just going in for my consult. I have made the decision to not tell anyone either. I don't need the added pressure. My husband knows and supports me. I feel its ok to keep something so personal private. I weigh 187 pounds, 5ft 4 inches tall and have a BMI of 32. I have lost 50 pounds on my own in the past, and have regained about 30 pounds over the last three years. I am praying that the lap band will give me the extra support that I need to lose and maintain. I am nervous.. any words of advice and or encouragement prior to surgery?

My brothers are work out junkies and needless to say they look great. I on the other hand, have always had a problem with my weight. Currently I don't plan on telling them in till I have an appointment for surgery because I don't want a speech. My best friend and my mother knows and thats enough for me right now.

I too told no one but my husband and even him I pondered about. He has been very supportive though. I was planning on taking a taxi to/from the hospital but then I started to think, if things go wrong I may need someone.

endzone, you are so funny. Telling your mother what your husband ate was a strike of genius.I will remember that.

Yes, I too plan on having an hernia or gallbladder that will have to be removed. I have been complaining of tummy pain already. I do take my pre-op seriously.

I will also have a case of the flu come Thanksgiving or perhaps my gallbladder will have an attack. I haven't decided yet.

FYI: My bypass is Oct 28th

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