Ever since I have lost 60 pounds in two months, my personality has totally changed. I am judgemental of people, really bad. I guess I am making up for all the years people have judged me for being super fat. I know I still have quite a ways to go. I go to the gym and there are always these two really large women there. Instead of me being happy for them, that they are exercising. I want to go all Jillian Michaels on them and tell them they are not working hard enough. BTW, I have a severe exercise transfer addiction. I'm also set off by any little thing. I just started a fight with someone on Facebook for no reason at all because she made a comment that I deemed smart ass. I have cut ties with my best friend, and my two brothers. What has happened to me? My shrink has me on several different meds that keep my bipolar under control. I just want to know where this meanness came from. My husband says I have a ton of confidence that he has never seen before.

Thank you, LipstickLady. I wasn't expecting to read a comment saying that if you don't find Jesus before surgery, you aren't worthy of having it. .

Cheryl can correct me if I'm wrong, but I think her comment has been completely misunderstood. Not that I agree with what she said - but I think she was comparing formerly obese people who judge people for being overweight - to people who used to break the law, get saved (find Jesus) in jail, and then think they're better/holier than everyone around them.

She doesn't think people who look down on other people for being overweight deserve(d) to get WLS - not anything at all about whether they've found God or not.

Edited August 18, 201411 yr by docbree

To the OP, I wish you nothing but the best and hope and pray that you're able to get all this under control and that you live a long, healthy, prosperous life.

I do, too.

I am bipolar, as well, and I am so afraid that I will "crash" when I have surgery - or become hypo manic/irritable. food is a very important mode stabilizer for me.

Wishing you the best, docbree! Hope all goes well!

@@jtickle I believe that If you're in the mental capacity to actually take the time to type such angry and judgmental messages, the way I see it is, you're in you're right state of mind and you are continuously thinking of what you want to say while typing ..... Shame on you I pray that you find inner peace to deal with yourself let alone any one you come in counter with. Bariatric Pal is a weight loss SURGERY forum where we come to voice success stories, challenges, share before and afters, meal plans, new protein shakes or powder and such. Not to bash others that may be less fortunate to even consider surgery as a tool or find a new physicshiatrist to deal with your new rage. Think about it, were you even in a gym before surgery? My heart really goes out to you and I sincerely hope you find what you're looking for or agreeable arguments. I don't think I've read a thread quite like this.

Edited August 18, 201411 yr by waitingtoexhale

I, too, am bipolar 1. I have had meanness issues in the past now controlled by medication. I heartily suggest that you get a med check as soon as possible. Remember your levels do change after surgery.

I, too, am bipolar 1. I have had meanness issues in the past now controlled by medication. I heartily suggest that you get a med check as soon as possible. Remember your levels do change after surgery.

Thank you for not bashing me, I posted this to try to get a little support because I feel like I am going to explode. I had my meds adjusted last week. I didn't realize that I would get a public lynching for telling how I feel. Not sure if I want to get support from this forum anymore.

Honestly people, I wasn't trying to offend anyone. Just trying to figure out what is wrong with me. I had no idea I would ever feel like this. For those who are trying to help thank you, and those who are judging me, I don't know what to say.

Honestly people, I wasn't trying to offend anyone. Just trying to figure out what is wrong with me. I had no idea I would ever feel like this. For those who are trying to help thank you, and those who are judging me, I don't know what to say.

Their are a lot of hormones stored in our fat. During the first 3-6 months when fat-burning is at it's fastest these are released into our bodies wreaking havoc on us physically and emotionally. This, combined with your existing condition, is likely most of the reason you are feeling these negative emotions and thoughts. Perhaps part of it is how you felt about yourself before your surgery? Just continue working with your therapist and regardless of how you're feeling or what you're thinking continue to keep from communicating your negative thoughts and feelings out loud. Is your therapist aware of the hormonal aspect of your WLS?

Honestly people, I wasn't trying to offend anyone. Just trying to figure out what is wrong with me. I had no idea I would ever feel like this. For those who are trying to help thank you, and those who are judging me, I don't know what to say.

I hope the best for you. Mental illness is not an excuse or a crutch. It just is, we don't judge those with cancer.

There have been some grwat suggestions here

I hope your physicians adjust your meds to your new needs

I hope you're able to talk to someone this has been a large change for you.

I also like the suggestion of reaching out to those ladies at the gym. Just remember we all complain about the excercise. Some good natured some just cause, it doesn't mean they aren't willing to do the excercise. They obviously keep coming back.

It would help you to talk to them. Make new friends. You may not feel so mean to them if you got to know them and their motivations. Motivate each other.

Good luck to you.

Um okay, wow.............speechless. Well, almost. I get that you are working with Dr.s for you issues , good for you ! I also get that you are trying to figure out why you 're feeling so angry and judgemental etc. Dont know, im not a Dr. But if this is any help , years ago I went through a long , rough, hit rock bottom situation. It was all I could do to hold a basic conversation with people. I found that since I had no desire to speak alot, I had to choose my words very carefully. My boss commented about me " She is very blunt, she speaks her mind but she is very tactful, very polite, very careful of everyones feelings, but you know where you stand with her. " I was fine with that reputation, still am very careful to speak like that. You might want to choose your words slowly and carefully, that way you get your point across clearly, but are'nt offending anyone. My best to you !!!

Hi there, we are all such bags of chemicals -- I hope you are feeling better once the medication change settles in. Not sure how old you are but peri menopause can play a role, too -- I agree that hormonal changes with weight loss can be very drastic. For me it's been great to speak my mind and to stop doing things for others all the time, etc. Choosing myself first. It sounds like you know yourself well and that you are working with your medical professionals to achieve balance. Noticing the imbalances is huge. I journal a lot and find it helpful to write out what's going on with me. I don't suffer from depression or other mental illness and I'm grateful for that but so sympathetic because of how poignant life can be even without that -- all the ups and downs. I react to medication and just got off one that was an anti-depressant being used for arthritis pain. The roller coaster of getting on that, ramping up, ramping down and getting off again, OMG. And only the person taking the medication can feel the symptoms and decide whether it's helping or whether side effects are broth it then having to do that while not feeling "right". So hard. Be gentle with yourself. Track everything so you can see whether what you're on is right for you. Watch out for artificial ingredients that can do a number on you. Too much caffeine can be a problem as well -- I have to watch that. And congratulations on the exercising. I walk on a rural road and at this time of year the traffic increases a lot. I am gentle by nature but when those out of town cars whizz by and I'm worried some one is going to get hit, I am pissed off and let them know. White haired lady screaming, "slow down!" It shocks me, this side of myself. So I know what you mean. The increased self confidence is great but anger is not. Humor is helpful for me, and when I look at the human race and how we behave sometimes (me included), what can we do but laugh?

Good to see things are the same here since I took a bit of a break! lol!

I guess I'll throw my 2 cents in here….While I know next to nothing of mental illness so can't really speak to that. It does seem like you know what you are doing is not good and you know its wrong. Funny thing here (sad really) is that you know you are judging others as evidenced by your post title but yet you are telling others not to judge you.

Sometimes it can go back to a simple childhood rule. Treat others as you would like to be treated. Speak to others and you would like to be spoken to.

Good luck in your journey. I wish you the best.

bag of chemicals..., love that! and its very true too!

as someone who suffered from PMDD (pre menstrual dysphoric disorder), PPD and now perimenopausal symptoms... i wholeheartedly agree. our thoughts and feelings are, to a great extent determined by our hormones and neurotransmitters. upsetting the balance can greatly affect us. it has nothing to do with our morals, religious leanings, manners, social graces or anything that we can consciously choose. we are creatures of chemicals, and despite the fact that its distasteful to admit it, we cant control that, its a simple fact.

Yes, I can use my mental illness to explain anything I want. You don't how I act when my meds are out of whack. You don't know hiw I am when I am manic or depressed. When I see two heavy women come into the gym and work out for 5 minutes barefooted on a recumbent bike, and then complain about it. Like I said I would never act on my thoughts. I keep them to myself. I am just wondering what the hell is wrong with me. Yes, I deserved my surgery and I will workout in the gym. Maybe it's you that needs to take a good in the mirror for judging a person who is for looking. help. I don't believe God got the surgery and if you think he did you have some issues. I got weight loss because my insurance paid 100% of it. God has nothing to do with it. I'm perfectly comfortable in the gym cause I work my ass off while I am in there. Go judge someone else.

My mirror says I am great because I wasnt judging anyone just repeating what you said. If you think it then you might as well do it. My mirror is fine because I like who I see. Yes I know how mentally ill act but it doesnt give you the right to think bad about people who are trying to help themselves without have their body adjusted. You need to get your medications straightened out because you have some serious issues. If you dont want people to say things you dont like then dont put them out here for the world to see.

And for those about losing weight and finding God is a figure of speech not a true meaning. I don't throw religion or politics down peoples throats. This could have ended up being a good thread but its the way you presented it with total utter anger. You can feel it in every word you wrote so my suggestion would be the next time you are feeling like you want to freak out and know why, then think of how your post sounds to others before you hit publish.