A message about hurt feelings on another thread reminded me of one of those moments when a zinger hits you without warning. I thought that probably everyone has had one of those moments and venting it here may help remove some of the punch. After all, it's not the sort of stuff you can vent in normal conversation.

One of my moments happened when we were on a four hour hike through the mammoth cave in kentucky. At mid point through the cave the guide is supposed to tell interesting stories and facts about the cave. He asked if anyone had any questions, so since we were two hours hike in both directions from the exit, I asked what they would do if someone had a heart attack there in the cave. WELL, He said, "they would die. AND ma'm I don't want to hurt your feelings but obesity is the main cause for that." :embarassed: The group was about 120 people, all of whom became quiet and wanted to see what obese person had asked that question. I was mortified. I hadn't been feeling all that "fat" that day (you all know that "fat" is a feeling like sadness), and as I always notice whether or not I am the largest person in the room (that day I wasn't), I suddenly became so huge that any interest in the rest of the tour was impossible.

If you are ever in mammoth caves, avoid the skinny old man tour guide who brags about his 28 inch waist. He is a jerk.

god what a RELIEF it is to listen to what you guys have been through. I can relate to each one! Ive blanked out so many instances where ive cried because of what someone has said.

My brother. i love him, he's three years younger and our relationship is always strained. Hes sarcastic alot. He does it to be funny, sometimes just to be funny to me...but i got called shamu and other things a lot. He just flew down for two weeks (right after my surgery) and i wound up telling him so hed understand why i didnt want to 'go out to eat' our families favorite activity. I know hes supportive and approves the decision based on our dad, and applauds me for being proactive...but the last day he was here he said something i didnt understand. ive lost 39 lbs since i started this journey, and here, since before the surgery, i have been on liquids and mushies, i get up at sunrise and ride the bike to the pier (for about an hour) then walk in the afternoons, clean house, work, then ride again to the seawall at sunset...we were sitting down the day before he left and i explained that my energy was pretty low after getting back from riding, and he said (in all seriousness) "Well you HAVE to be more ACTIVE!"

39 lbs...ride all over the island and work all day. holy smokes.

i remember walking up a hill when i was in the last days of second pregnancy. I was MISERABLE and had gained about 80 lbs. dr said walk walk walk to help. a group of college kids rode up the hill and a boy screamed "lose some f.. weight!" and threw a shake at me.

i was at my bank, where i get along with everyone well, and i was leaving, a man i know who is a bit slow comes in and says, (Loudly) "when you having your baby?" and like most of you, i replied, "not pregnant, just fat." and left feeling everyone's eyes on me.

the most recent one that i can think of was hillarious. i still dont quite understand it. I had a patron come in (who used to come into the studio a LOT without notice and just hang out) and asked if he could talk to me in private. I went with him into the gallery. (he knows i was married ive talked about my husband a LOT) and he said to me, "I dont see you from here to here (and motioned from my neck down), I see you from here to here (my head up) and thats what matters to me, a beautiful face, nice smile. and i think, honestly, that he was trying to pay me a compliment of some sort...but talk about timing..my husband 'dropped by' walking over and kissing my hair and patting me on the bum. we all just stood there for a minute. I couldnt help but feel my face smiling ear to ear uncontrollably. Funny...i never saw that particular gentlemen again. this was at my highest weight.

im deeply in love withmy husband, and i know he loves me, but we have both gained so much weight since we started out nineteen years ago. I have no doubt its affected 'the attraction' between us. He said hes inspired by what im doing. Hes immediately went back on atkins and theres hope we might find the physical 'stuff' again. we both want that. He hasnt said "the words which cant and shouldnt ever be said" ...specificly "we have gotten so fat we cant have sex anymore like we used to" butttttttt. its right there.

still...i love that he pats me on the bum when he smooches me

Just one for now, but I'm sure I could think of MANY.

When I was 10 years old (chubby, but not gigantic or anything) I was staying at my aunt and uncle's house which was about an hour from my parents house. We used to stay out there all the time (my sister and I). Well, my uncle came home towards the end of my stay that time (my sister was babysitting my cousins, so she was staying longer).

My aunt told him I had to go home in 3 days because I had a dentist apointment.

He looked at me, laughed, and said, "I don't think so, you're not leaving this house until you lose 10 pounds...":mad: :faint: :woot: :faint:

I called my mom the next morning and asked to come home, and she came and got me. I never told her why until I was older (about 17). She said she wished I had told her cuz she always wanted to give him a piece of her mind and making fun of her daughter would have let her do that.

Hi everyone,

Newbie here from Australia, haven't introduced myself - will do eventually but just had to reply to this thread.

I can't believe what some people have said to you all, it's amazing how cruel other human beings can be, they need a good lesson in manners!

Luckily for myself, I haven't had to deal with a lot of comments to my face (although I am sure they are said behind my back), which in fact is quite surprising because I'm 138kgs (I think thats around 303lbs), and being only 17 (18 in June) and 5"4 it's massive.. I have, however had a lot of problems with my dad. We have never really been close and I find it very hard to talk to him as he doesn't really interact with me, I know he loves me but he has a VERY hard time showing it. Anyway, one time I decided I wanted to try and lose some weight (for the 100th time, lol) and I asked my dad if I could borrow my grandparents exercise bike so I could get myself fit (my dad ALWAYS goes on about exercising) And he kind of went funny and said no and had a little go at me. Well, that made me feel like ABSOLUTE crap and I went home and cried to my mum about it all (my and dad are divorced). I felt so angry and upset because he goes on about exercise and when I finally try he has a go at me. Anyway, my mum ended up talking to him later in the week and he told her that he didn't want me to have it because he thought I would break it! When my mum told me that it made me feel even more crap.

I did end up getting the exercise bike and I can proudly say it has NOT broken!!! :woot:

Also with my dad, my brother and I will go for lunch, and I will dress myself up (I may be obese but I can still make myself look as nice as possible) and we walk in and they go on and on about how well and fit and wonderful my brother is, but of course won't pay one tiny complement to how I look, not even that my clothes look nice. I know dad's don't really do that all, but even his girlfriend doesn't. All my dad see's is the fat, and once I am thin the complements will come, but I will NEVER forget how he has made me feel for basically most of my life (but mainly since I was about 12)

Another thing I hate is sitting infront of people. It's not that I hear if they are talking about me, but I feel so insecure and whenever they laugh, I think they are laughing at me.

I'm yet to be banded but I cannot wait and I am hoping for a good self esteem boost as right now I have none, lol.

Anyway, I will introduce myself in the introduction section soon, but I just had to post in this thread as a lot of people seem to have trouble with their parents, and my dad is just terrible. He does it out of love, but he doesn't understand how many tears I have cried because of the comments and stares... :woot:

Lauren.

Wow, some really cruel people in this world that put on us their unhappiness in their own lives. Feel bad for all of us having to go through the awful cruelty in our young and some adult lives. Myself, has become pretty much numb when people say things at me or about me and yes even my family. They are unhappy in their lives and decide to lash out at someone they feel aren't suffering. I guess we are supposed to be "jolly" or something like santa...NOT!!!

I think one of the things that really got to me for awhile and that I remember the most since it was most recent, was early last year from a doctor other than my reg. doc(she was booked). This doctor, ho I had seen before years earlier, was stick thin since I last saw her. I saw her this time for alot of extra pain in my legs and swelling. I could not believe what came out of her mouth right off the bat! She said, "I think your body is finally starting to kill you." If she was trying to shock me into losing weight, it didn't work. I was rather stunned by that comment. Was of course dwelling on it for a long time. Got my pain resolved, but was really thinking about that comment. Probably why it is still so vivid in my mind.

Well, of course, now I am definitely believing that comment and therefore going after having Lap Band done this year! No more freakin' diets for me!

Peace,

Judy

I was chubby as a child. When I was 10 years old I had to go home from school with a stomachache. My mother glared at me when she came to pick me up and said, "your pants are probably just too tight."

In the past I have yo-yo dieted and lost and gained weight repeatedly. One time I lost weight, and my mother said, "you have a neck again!" People just don't know what to say when you lose weight. She actually thought this was a compliment.

My father has the tact of a cab driver. He used to "moo" at my older sister when I was growing up because he thought this was a funny way to tell her to lose weight. Thank God he has come to his senses now that I am older. He doesn't mock me about my weight. He is worried about my health.

About a year ago my sister and I went to a Subway restaurant. There were two kids with their dad behind us in line. Suddenly my sister turned to their father and started telling him that his kids were very rude and that he shouldn't let them talk like that. I hadn't heard what they said. When we were in the car later, my sister reluctantly informed me that one kid had said to the other, "she's so fat I bet when she steps on the scale it says, 'one person at a time.'"

sigh.

ack!!!!!

listen..ive been riding my patrons bicycle all over this island, and im still a big person. sometimes when i stop at cross walks i see people in cars look at me and there is this part of me that wants to scream, "Im a FAT GIRL ON A BIKE! YES, I AM. AND IM DOING SOMETHING ABOUT IT! NOW WISH ME A GOOD MORNING AND GO GET YOUR EGG MCMUFFIN WHILE I SIP ON SLIMFAST....DAMIT"

HAHAHAHAHA. hehehehe..

i CANT yell at people like that...but sometimes id like to.

ack!!!!!

listen..ive been riding my patrons bicycle all over this island, and im still a big person. sometimes when i stop at cross walks i see people in cars look at me and there is this part of me that wants to scream, "Im a FAT GIRL ON A BIKE! YES, I AM. AND IM DOING SOMETHING ABOUT IT! NOW WISH ME A GOOD MORNING AND GO GET YOUR EGG MCMUFFIN WHILE I SIP ON SLIMFAST....DAMIT"

HAHAHAHAHA. hehehehe..

i CANT yell at people like that...but sometimes id like to.

LOL!! I absolutely LOVE your attitude~

The people that stare aren't the people that work out.

The people that work out know how hard it is for everyone, no matter what size or shape or age. The people that work out will encourage you every time.

For me the worst came after I lost all the weight. I have almost reached goal and am enjoying the compliments and comments. I am short, have long blond/grey hair and now pretty tiny. Last month I was wearing a baret and I have to admit that from the rear with the hat and the long hair I may have looked like a little girl but believe me, from the front (at 55) I look my age. This person said to me......"Now I get it....you lost all that weight just to look 16 again.....do you really think that is such a good idea at your age?".....I couldn't believe my ears. I spouted back " I lost the weight to save my life......No matter how you think I look now, it sure is better than looking fat and sick".

When I should have been enjoying my weight loss and the compliments I became very self conscious again and hacked my hair off....now its a mess, and I loved my long hair. I still can't believe that I allowed her to affect me in that way.

Carol

I don't recall any hurtful words due to my weight, I don't know maybe they say 'em behind my back. But I did have one issue that still sticks in my mind like it was last night.

I had a horrible horrible night the evening before this situation happened. I had been in the hospital, my arms were bruised, I looked bad, admittedly. I went to see a friend of mine. She was the secretary for the fire fighter's union. I really needed to speak with her.

I walked in and the receptionist - not having a clue who I was or what was going on stopped me and told me that I certainly looked like a mess, then she proceeded to ask if I always look this way.

I apologized for my appearance and explained that my house burned down 12 hours ago and my choice of clothing was limited.

Thankfully the man standing behind her knew me. He stopped her dead in her tracks and explained he was on that call (he was, he was the captain for that crew), I didn't HAVE any other clothes. He took her to his office and they had a chat.

Needless to say, they let my friend have the day off and we went clothing shopping. I am not sure who was more embarrassed, me or the receptionist.

For me, there's no WORST event. It's a worst sentiment. I am ready to crawl through the TV and sit on everyone who says we could do it if we would just diet and exercise. No words could be more damaging, bigoted, or false. And for years I believed them and kicked myself.....

My personal favorite is when my mother came to visit me after not having seen me for about a year...and she says....'you know, you look like his mother instead of his wife'......okay.....I am glad to see you too.....

My personal favorite is when my mother came to visit me after not having seen me for about a year...and she says....'you know, you look like his mother instead of his wife'......okay.....I am glad to see you too.....

Did you accidentally kick her really hard?

I vote for kicking her really hard!!!

kick her, Ollie (tell them that the voices on the internet told you to, ill back you up)!!

Bubble..man thats a toughie. sometimes it seems that people save up all their stupid to hit people with at their most vulnerable times.

Can we go kick Ollies MIL now?

The worst things said to me have been by my mother. And they haven't been out of love. They have been said out of a desire to hurt me, to get me back for percieved wrongs and hurts, to punish me for being... me. And not necessarily about weight either. Of course when I said I am getting the lap band the initial reaction was "Don't be stupid, you'll die." But I expected that from her. Its not about weight really- its whatever she thinks will hurt me. I don't really care much about my weight-- I have pretty high self esteem so thats not a good target for her.