A message about hurt feelings on another thread reminded me of one of those moments when a zinger hits you without warning. I thought that probably everyone has had one of those moments and venting it here may help remove some of the punch. After all, it's not the sort of stuff you can vent in normal conversation.

One of my moments happened when we were on a four hour hike through the mammoth cave in kentucky. At mid point through the cave the guide is supposed to tell interesting stories and facts about the cave. He asked if anyone had any questions, so since we were two hours hike in both directions from the exit, I asked what they would do if someone had a heart attack there in the cave. WELL, He said, "they would die. AND ma'm I don't want to hurt your feelings but obesity is the main cause for that." :embarassed: The group was about 120 people, all of whom became quiet and wanted to see what obese person had asked that question. I was mortified. I hadn't been feeling all that "fat" that day (you all know that "fat" is a feeling like sadness), and as I always notice whether or not I am the largest person in the room (that day I wasn't), I suddenly became so huge that any interest in the rest of the tour was impossible.

If you are ever in mammoth caves, avoid the skinny old man tour guide who brags about his 28 inch waist. He is a jerk.

I've honestly never had anything really bad said to me before, but then I never got to a BMI over 36 so I have never been morbidly obese.

But the time it really hit home for me was when my obestrician failed to realise Eliza was breech until he did an internal exam at 37 weeks. I had too much fat on my stomach to make it really easy for him to palpate the baby through it all. He could feel there was something in there, but he couldnt feel what he should have been able to feel and would never have noticed if he hadnt felt inside and noted that there was no head presenting.

I'd gained no more than 3kg for the entire pregnancy too, I was really careful. But still my weight could have made her birth dangerous and likely fatal as it turned out.

My father has called me porky pig all my life so I know how a Dad's words can hurt!!!

My father has called me porky pig all my life so I know how a Dad's words can hurt!!!

Boy thats love :think

It seems that I have been fortunate that most people around me talk behind my back and don't say these things to my face. hehe. I can't think of any comments at this point, but maybe something will come to me later. I do have a sad story though. A few months ago at dinner, my 4 year old came and sat on my lap and whispered in my ear "why is your tummy so big mommy?" I told her it was because I had to babies and that my tummy stretched out. She thought about it a minute and said "but Liz (my skinny neighbor) had 2 babies and her tummy looks like this" she then proceeds to pull up her shirt and suck her tummy in. She then went on to tell me that she doesn't want to have babies if it will make her tummy look like mine. uuuuuuggggghhhh. It crushed me. I tried to explain that everyone is different and blahblahblah but my heart was broken. I felt like I was failing my baby and teaching her by a poor example. I still want my kids to believe that people come in all shapes and sizes and that this is not a bd thing. I want to teach them to be tolerant of people's differences. I have been successful with my 10 year old, but my 4 year old is sadly very body concious-despite me controlling what they are exposed to on TV. It scares me for her future since this is what she is so fascinated by.

I went out with this guy for a week. Then one day when we were out walking he tells me that he wants to break up with me because all his friends were making fun of him for going out with a fat girl, and also that he was sick of spending all his money to buy me ice cream. Wow that hurt especially the fact that we had never once gone out and got ice cream and to top it off i was just a little overweight then.

I went out with this guy for a week. Then one day when we were out walking he tells me that he wants to break up with me because all his friends were making fun of him for going out with a fat girl, and also that he was sick of spending all his money to buy me ice cream. Wow that hurt especially the fact that we had never once gone out and got ice cream and to top it off i was just a little overweight then.

That is crazy. What a loser? I hope he was 12.

I was with my dad and sister and we were about to go out. I asked my sister if I could borrow her belt. My dad asked me if I was sure it would fit. That comment was the last straw for me and I put the smackdown on him big time.

The very short version of the story: My fiance was struggling with cancer for a year and a half. I gained a lot of weight - 50 lbs during his illness. He was free and clear of cancer and when we broke up he told me I was too fat for him to marry anyway. Ohhhhhhhh was I pissed for about 2 years after that. He did a lot of other crap that was worse but that probably made me the maddest! In hindsight I am SO glad we didn't get married.

I know my reaction when someone says something that really hits home with me is to become extremely angry and to retaliate. I have had a lot of comments from people who I don't know but it seems that the people I am closest to definitely have the most power to hurt.

Awww, I can relate to every story on here. I just want to give you all a great big hug.

Prbrooksie and rroswelltx,

My father said hurtful things ALL OF MY LIFE. Even at age 16 when I was 116 pounds he would make fun of how fat I was. Finally at age 33, I went off on him. I told him that the day he made up for all of his parenting mistakes was the day I would let him criticize me again. I proceeded to tell him all of the times he hurt my feelings at that he had no right to talk to me that way. He was flabergasted and had no idea that his comments were so hurtful to me. He apologized and never said another hurtful word to me again. I don't think someof our parents necessarily have the "politically correct" view of how to act and treat family like we have learned to be. Sometimes they just need to be brought up to the 21st century. Good luck!

My husband is a bit jealous(understatement of the year) of the attention that I have been getting since my weight loss. One night he looked at me and said "I dont care how much weight you lose, you still have a flat wide ass"...What a piece of work. Well now that wide ass is in a size 8....I just ignore him.....

My husband is a bit jealous(understatement of the year) of the attention that I have been getting since my weight loss. One night he looked at me and said "I dont care how much weight you lose, you still have a flat wide ass"...What a piece of work. Well now that wide ass is in a size 8....I just ignore him.....

Methinks it was a talking ASS that told you!

Aint that the truth!! He does wish those words never came out of his mouth...I keep reminding him that there are lots of guys that would love this fat, wide ass......

I've been with my boyfriend for 11 years now, so he's seen me thin, fat, and everywhere in between. My mom recently asked me if it bothered him that I had put on so much weight. (Because it obviously bothers her.) My reply was, "No, he's not shallow." I think she got the point because she has hardly said a word about my weight since then.

A dear friend of mine who is also obese drives a Mazda Miata. She loves her car and views it as the one luxury she has in her life. About a year ago, as she was getting out of her car in the parking lot of a grocery store, a stranger walking by told her she was too fat to drive such a little car. I wasn't there, but when she told me about it, I was devasted for her. How incredibly hurtful, rude, and unnecessary.

:angry

I'm always dumbfounded by people who feel the need to point out the obvious. I know I'm fat. Every fat person knows they are fat. We don't need to be told.

The one that sticks out for me was on my first(and last) visit with a new GYN maybe 15 years ago. Who had been very highly recomended by a co-worker.

This woman walks in, looks at me and says "Do you ever try to eat anything low-fat"? First thing out of her mouth. Gee, if she'd read my chart she'd have known I had recently lost 40 pounds.

I was standing in the paper isle of the grocery store in the small town we were living in at the time. I had just worked out what was the most economical toilet paper and it happened to be the double rolls. Two young blond women arrived and proceeded to discuss which brand they should buy and I, thinking I was being helpful said "The double rolls work out to be the cheapest."

They both looked at each other, smirked and one said "My ass isn't that fat". They grabbed a package of single rolls and walked away.

I was flabbergasted. Firstly, I have rarely encountered that level of rudeness. Secondly, this was a small town and the likelihood of us crossing paths again was definitely possible. I was the only professional in my field in town at that time and I don't know how I would have handled things if either of them came to me for help.

worse for me....The day after I had my son and I was still in the hospital my mom comes to visit and says GEE YOU STILL LOOK PREGNANT. Ummm thanks ma love ya too babe lol. I know now she just wasn't thinking because she's struggled with her weight and still does. She totally encourages me right now too but, man....the hormones were already in a rage and to have that said OUCH!

After having my first baby (22 years ago) we sent pics to all the family, my brother in law called and said Steph you look like a football player. I was 143 lbs when I left the hospital. Needless to say we rarely speak with that one anymore. Total jerk.