gain goal regain How was your 5:2 day today?

[Oregondaisy 2,019]

Sheryl, What was the thread about that got deleted? There is another post about it called "wouldn't t be nice?"

I actually met a nice guy yesterday. He lives an hour away though. We had coffee and then walked in the park. When we got back to our cars, he kissed me, so I think he likes me. I am not going to call him though. I am old fashioned and am going to wait to see if he gets a hold of me.

I am going to Country Line Dance lessons tonight, so I am in a better mood. I had a good work out today and so far, a good fast . I really want to lose, and I gained back immediately what I lost after christmas. I can't seem to lose and have it stick.

Where is everyone?

I hope Coops is having a great time at Disney!

[UK Cathy 977]

Coops posting pics on Facebook, looks like she is having fun.

[Georgia 2,908]

Hey all! Sheryl, girl!! You are one brave dude. I'm hoping that your thigh is doing better now.

And I'm hoping Coops is having warmer weather than we had. Just Got back from Disneyworld and it was rainy and COLD. had to buy extra sweats and gloves etc to stay warm. El Niño to thank for that.

Had a great time with the Son Wife and Grands, though.

Husband had neck surgery in Thursday which went well. Stayed overnight and came home Friday. No issues other than swelling in esophagus causing swallowing issues but can already move his neck better.

I've been doing sorta 5:2 because a lot of days I wind up with low calories and at least try to keep to close to 500. I've managed to lose 14 pounds since first of January which I really needed to get off. Bad eating for several months prior led to upswing in weight. I need to lose another 10-15 to be back to comfortable low goal weight.

[UK Cathy 977]

Georgia, so good to hear from you. 14lb is awesome. I've given up alcohol for lent so am hoping the absence will diminish the Snacks and chocolate that usually accompany it. Here's hoping.

[feedyoureye 3,087]

Hi guys... its your long lost sis from California! Going well on this end. Still riding the bike, and made my first solo ride today. I went into town and to the Crocker art museum. Saw a couple of good shows, turned around and rode home. Proud of myself. I get so scared-y-cat the whole morning before I go riding. Clears up pretty good when Im on the bike though. So when I got on our thread this time, I knew I would have PAGES to read to catch up, but for some reason when I tried to go backwards from this page, I would go back to July 2013. I tried it a couple of times and same thing. So I am in the dark about whats up with you guys. Sheryl.... Thigh? Guess I will just jump in and start fresh.

Craig is in New Zealand... its kind of nice to be on my own for a while. I get a chance to remember who I am without him. Just do my own thing, how I drive, clean, shop, spend time doing what I want and such. Just this week I was invited to be in two art shows in LA. Should be fun. Means I need to get down to work on the painting.... I've been so busy with the bike and work.... It will be nice to get back in a groove painting.

I seem to have stabilized at around 25 pounds up.... at least Im still 60 down. I have been doing the pouch test thing, and lost 2 of it... been keeping under 1100 cals a day on most days this week... and think I will get back into the 5:2 after I get the carb monster a little bit more under control. Feeling optimistic. Anyway, back in the pack. Nice to see you guys are still here! Happy Valentines Day All!

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

Kim, it is empowering to overcome fear, but there is also a point when it just isn't fun. I went through this with horses many years ago. I had alot of fear, and decided I needed to get rid of it, or stop riding. A little book helped me alot - it's an oldie called "that winning feeling" and it has to do with changing how you think about a specific thing and the changing of the thinking and internal language eventually changes the emotional state. I am astounded by how well it worked. Essentially, the concept is you can do things perfectly in your mind, way before your body is capable of it.

I am going through some emotional weirdness right now, not even sure who to talk to. Okay, as a back drop - due to my PS complication I have been on gut wrenching antibiotics, pain meds, meds to sleep, Miralax to keep me from constipation... etc. I was in very good spirits for a long time, but it has been a month and I am still fighting to be healed. I recognize that infirmary triggers in me bad emotions at some point - it reminds me of being obese. My friends are weirded out because I am the social butterfly that initiates things and I can barely stand to talk to people on the phone much less go out and do stuff. It's like, I dont have anything to say and the things people tell me about their lives just seem like old news. That sounds really selfish, but the reason I mention it is that it is quite opposite of my normal personality. I also noticed, that my social circle has shrunk, not grown over the last year or so.

Another troubling but small thing I noticed was last fall I developed a fear of dating/meeting new men. It manifested in my mind as physical fear/danger but i don't believe that is really the case. I developed a longing for my old lover Steven although in truth, I don't really ever want to see him again. (his latest drama was really just too much to even believe - at some point it is like watching a soap opera). It is really the idea of him, makes me feel safe and comforted with an added bonus that I am NOT seeing him so it is a nice image without any reality - I think my fear is more around emotional safety regardless of what stories I tell myself. Anyway, i think my reaction to this growing fear was to get out there and meet someone - and I did, the relationship that lasted until Christmas when he just went off the rails and spun into his own messed up world. Anyway, it wasn't the right time to meet someone, but we had lots of fun so I don't really regret it - but I can now see my motive was really forcing myself to "get back into the game"

So, a few weeks ago, before i got really really sick from the complication, Kevin called me. We dated for about 4 months in 2014 and he wanted to get back together. He worked it pretty hard and knew me well enough to know what i was seeking. Well, he is a decent guy, but he has a negative outlook so it was pretty easy to say "no thanks" even though he had stopped drinking and addressed a few of my concerns about him. Anyway, true to form, his big compliment for me was that I wasn't "crazy" like all the other women he has dated in the last several years. He is looking for someone to be a life partner, move to Arizona etc etc. I was having anxiety just hearing all this even though of course it was easy to say no. I should be flattered, but in some ways it is depressing that my big appeal is sanity. I mean, nothing else about me is appealing? I think my lack of success in finding a good long term boyfriend is starting to hit me in the self esteem pocket.

As a result of all this, I can't help but let my mind wander down the path if i really want to be in a relationship. Well, I do, but it seems very odd to me that I can't find someone who is even a candidate. I know what I have done wrong in the past (my approach) and my grand plan was to be recovered from this surgery, back in a good workout schedule, life back under control and begin the dating again April - May timeframe with the new approach. I feel some hesitation about my plan. I feel two things at once - I want to start now and i don't want to start at all.

I do not know why i am letting this occupy braintime, but it is. I think i am mildly depressed due to a freaking month of being an invalid - and I am lonely because in general i haven't been leaving my own home and I need people contact to bring me energy and new ideas and subjects. I think that hours of netflix, books and being along is making me a little wacky.

I seem to have developed this idea that I need to just accept being single/alone forever and get over it, but that is so foreign to me - even though the advantages are many, it still feels like an unfamiliar state, a place that I can visit but don't really want to live there.

[Oregondaisy 2,019]

Georgia, so good to hear from you. That's so great on the weight loss. It sucks, doesn't it? We will be fighting this the rest of our lives, but I have to admit, it's 100% easier with the sleeve. I'm doing 5:20 right now to try and take the regain off again.

Kim, I admire your guts. There is no way in HELL I would get on a bike by myself. It looks like great fun though. I am glad you're enjoying your time without Craig.

Sheryl, You and I think so much alike on this issue. I don't want to spend the rest of my life alone either, but I am afraid I will. The chance of finding someone suitable at 63 is slim. I don't want an old guy that just sits in front of the tv watching sports, or having fishing as his only outdoor activity.

The guy I met and liked met someone else. I am happy for him. He has more in common with her.

I end up spending a lot of time with my friend John. It's ridiculous how much I hate being alone. I did find an interesting guy in Portland that I am going to meet when I go there to see my kids. Portland is not my idea of where I want to find someone though. I really don't want to move.

Are you at least feeling better and healing?

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

You know something Denise, the more people I meet that are over 50 the more I realize that singledom is much preferable to living with the couch potatoes etc. But it's the idea of being on my own that is so uncomfortable. Like, it's great now, but I want to retire and have adventures while I still can and I want a partner in doing that for example.

That is why I let the Donald Trump supporter have a chance -on paper we are an awesome match but I never felt any passion or attraction. As soon as I am physically back to normal, I will reach out to him again I think. Maybe just as friends/ activity partners but honestly he is the nicest guy, with shared values and goals that I have met. He is attracted to my appearance, I am vague on how he sees me otherwise. I just feel like I need to give some of these situations more of a chance.

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

On the subject of weight, I don't view our daily struggle as too bad. Mean I used to struggle to stay under 300 #, now I am greedily dreaming of the 140s instead of 155 where I am today.

Yeah forgot to post - Monday is weigh in. I am up 2# from last week but that is to be expected because I am eating again.

[Oregondaisy 2,019]

He is attracted to your looks but are you attracted to his? I would consider anyone just an activity partner if I weren't attracted to his looks. They all eventually want to get in bed, and it's not happening if there isn't the attraction. Most of the time, there isn't any chance I would ever feel comfortable being intimate with most everyone I meet. I always hope that feeling will begin to grow but I've found if it's not there, it's not going to be there.

I wish I had more of a pool to pick from . I know the ones I've met, there's not a chance of revisiting the possibility of more than a friendship. There was this one I met a couple of months ago that I'm attracted to, but I've discovered since knowing him better, he's a complete idiot.

[UK Cathy 977]

Managed another 2lb this week so am glad. My goal for this week is to increase exercise, it has fallen by the wayside a bit recently. So I will aim for 2 sessions and if I can manage 3 that will be a bonus.

So pleased to see people returning to 'our' section of the forum.

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

@@UK Cathy that is great - feels good to be "on track" doesn't it?

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

I just heard from work colleagues that Orlando was freezing cold last week - much colder than seattle! Sure hope coops and crew caught some good weather too!!!

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I337 using BariatricPal

[Oregondaisy 2,019]

I really blew it. I went to the gym and worked out and then went to Ross. I was really hungry and I ended up buying some Peanut Butter Cookies. I'll never go to Ross again when I am having terrible head hunger.

I made it down to 145 a few days ago but the last few days I'm holding at 146. I didn't lose fasting yesterday but I didn't do a very good job. I ended up sharing a piece of cake with a friend. I was at her house and another friend brought this chocolate cake over. i can't win.

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

@@Oregondaisy guessing you didn't have head hunger, but actual hunger. Then the Cookies siren call is overwhelming. I keep a few premier Proteins in my car just for this problem. That doesn't work in the summer, but this time of year it is fine.

Don't be so hard on yourself, you are maintaining in a good range and you know darn well you are slimmer than many other women your age. Have more fun, go dancing, socialize - life is too short to waste it feeling bad.

I am feeling a bit better today, but it has been a MONTH and i still have an open, draining wound. This morning, alot of old blood came out so it is good that it is being eliminated from my body but it is gross and I am sick of it. It has been hard to keep a positive attitude as I just don't know when this will end.... but to counteract that i am making plans for an amazing spring! I always like a good dream or ambition....