Just wondering if anyone is keeping their sleeve a secret and how it worked out for them? I know you need a support system but I am only telling literally 2 people, besides my hubbs of course! We live far away from family and only see them a few times a year so they will not be able to really support me in any way and i only have a few friends who see me on a regular basis. I just don't want to tell people i had to get surgery to lose weight and have to validate my reasons to them. Do you think its wrong?

I wanted to make the decision for this by myself with people trying to influence me so I haven't told anyone in my family yet. I have a co-worker who had bypass 8 months ago and I have talked with her about her procedure and what all our insurance requires. I have one other co-worker that is like a daughter to me and I have told her....she is supportive even though her mom died from bipass years ago. Also have a good friend from Indiana that I told as I needed to have someone to come be with me for the surgery and to watch my dogs when I am in the hospital. I "tested" telling my daughter by only saying I needed surgery and would need her help for a few days....when she said I either needed to buy her airline tickets or come to where she lived to have my surgery I decided that maybe it wasn't such a great idea to tell her...she wouldn't be too supportive I don't think since she thinks I "abandoned" her when I moved away for amy job. Please....you are 30 years old have a hubby and 3 kids how can I be abandoning you??? I already feel like this surgery will be the best thing that has happened to me and I haven't even had it yet!

We can all be supportive of each other on here and also support what each person decides as far as telling people. This is something that is really no one's business but your own....feel good about yourself and what you are doing. I know I do!

I've decided to be open about it. If they don't like it then we can agree to disagree. So far I have not had any negative comments. Friends on FB have been very positive and supportive. <3

i kept mine a secret and only told a selected few but now that ive lost 97lbs, im open to telling more people but NOT everybody!

I am sorry to say that I still feel like a failure because I can't control my own portions, I have to resort to getting my stomach cut out.

I'm not telling anyone except my husband. 2 friends know I'm "in the process" but they don't know I'm scheduled.

At work, I'm going on vacation and working at home. People at work are cool, but we don't sing kumbaya together at breaktime.

My family - mom, dad and lil sis - know about the surgery coz they were the ones who suggested it for me! LOL. They literally did half the research for me, helped me choose the surgeon and were there in the hospital with me (I had to stay for 4 nights). I cant imagine doing it any other way. I would have run screaming if I didnt have them by my side the entire time. My mom is retired and she was with me in the hospital for 3 whole days and on the last day my sis came over from the office to take care of me. I have never had ANY kind of surgery before and I'm one of those people who are always fussy about going to hospitals for a check-up. So I needed them with me the entire time.

We and our extended family are a tight knit group. My family lives nearly 300 miles away from the rest, but we travel like thrice or 4 times a year for family gatherings and the cousins come over for summer and christmas holidays. They have been very concerned about my health coz the only other morbidly obese person in my family is my aunt and she has a myriad health issues and they dont want me to go through all that at the age of 30. So I told them I was going to have the surgery and they were all very supportive!!!

Nothing stays a secret in my office LOL... I work in a software company. My team has 50 employees and almost all know that I have had the surgery. I was shocked when a guy from another team, whom I've talked to like once or twice in office functions, came up and asked me about the surgery. I didnt know how he knew. He asked a hell lot of questions about the procedure coz his wife was contemplating having RNY. He thought I had RNY too, but I let him know about VSG. They didnt even know about VSG. He was grateful that he came to know of VSG before she had RNY. People even come and ask how much I've lost. Weight loss procedures are not very common/popular where I live and everyone is simply curious

Wow I guess I am the only one who tells EVRYBODY! I mean family, friends, coworkers, bosses!

There hasn't been anyone I have felt like would deter my decision or that I would even care what they thought.

If a friend hadn't told me that she had it done I wouldn't have ever been here and been so happy. This is why I tell everyone.

I haven't read through all the posts here, just now saw this thread actually....

NONE of my family know I had surgery. The closest relative lives 8 hours away and I did go back and see a few family members last Fall, they saw I had lost a fair amt of weight. I think I was weighing around 190 then... I am not all that close to my family and many of them are just so quick to make judgmental / critical statements about things they know nothing about.

I have told a few close friends that I knew I would be able to count on for their support and this has worked well for me. There is only the HR person at work that took my paperwork that knows I had the surgery and that is it. When people compliment me on my weight loss and then ask the inevitable question, "how did you do it", I simply tell them that I cut out sugar and processed foods and focused on dense protein and vegetables. I am not lying. I am simply omitting that I had surgery to help me stay on that eating track. It's quite frankly none of their business. Yes, some would probably be very supportive if I told them about the surgery, but I am just not interested in taking the chance of backroom conversations that I would likely hear bits and pieces through the rumor mill. I'm there to do a job, that's what they pay me to do.

It is a personal decision. But, I am also very private about everything in my life. I barely have a FB account only because a few friends insisted. I don't even use my real last name. Anyways, good luck with whatever you decide to do.

Initially I was only going to tell my hubby, and my sister. But I've decided to tell my parents too. Basically immediate family only. I feel like it would be hurtful if/when they eventually find out - to know that I went through a major surgery and kept it from them.

I don't have a surgery date yet. I have just recently decided to do the sleeve rather than the lap band, I feel like the sleeve is a harder thing to keep secret than the band since the weight will probably come off faster.

I have decided to tell the people that are in my life on a daily basis, my husband, my son, best friends & fam. I haven't shared at work yet not sure if I will either. I mean they will know that I'm out for a medical reason when the time comes but not quite sure I'll go into detail. I think you should share when and if you want to. Your main support person is on board and that's waht counts

I only told my husband and I told him not to tell anyone else. But he told a friend of his, so I'm sure it's leaked out to other people. I decided not to tell other people myself because I didn't want to get from other people the same shocked and horrified look I got from my husband when I first told him that I wanted the surgery. He wasn't supportive at first, but he finally came around.

Remember, a person is smart; PEOPLE are stupid. I just didn't want to have to explain it over and over to everyone. The office I work in is filled with gossipy, bitchy, small-minded people and the last thing I needed was to be the subject of all that negative behavior. Nor did I tell my friends. I'm not really sure why, but I felt it was very, very personal and none of their business. They know my weight goes up and down, and can even fluctuate as much as 50 pounds within just a few months. So my weight loss won't really be that big of a surprise to them. They've seen me at 165 and they've seen me at 255.

I didn't tell my family either. I don't get along with them all that well, and again, I felt it was none of their business. They're all lifetime yo-yo dieters anyway.

But I think it's different for everyone, and only you can decide what's best for you.

At first, I told my family I was starting the process of having the surgery...their reaction was not supportive at all. Crappy comments mostly...Even had one in-law snidely say "Well, don't think your body will look like it did when you were 20..." My surgery is scheduled for the 23rd and I have only told 4 people. I find that most people do not understand being overweight, nor being overweight with health issues. I say, if you want to tell everyone, go ahead. If you want to keep it between you and your hubby, go ahead. This website seems to offer a lot of support. We are all in this together!

Well, after my husband, I told my bro in law cause he's my cardiologist. I then told my sister because he didn't want to keep a secret. I felt guilty so I told my parents. I few coworkers know because one of them was sleeved in February and got me thinking about this whole thing. That was in May. The secret was weighing me down. No pun intended. Lol. So today I told my daughters. My 26 and 23 year old had figured it out because my middle daughter was playing on my iPad and saw the vst notifications. Oy. The two oldest ones have been talking about it for a month, wondering when I was going to tell. So the only one who was surprised was my 17 year old. She was upset because she thinks after I lose the weight I won't be as comfortable to cuddle with! I didn't know what to say. It was easier then I thought. And a big relief After I lose weight, I think I'll have one of those banners made and fly it over the beach. Jk.

I told my son, who is 31 and my daughter, who is 34...neither of which seemed very concerned. They both live in 'me' worlds and really have no time for me and my problems. My husband has been my main supporter. He tries to understand, but, can't seem to stop bringing junk food into the house! LOL It is easy for me to resist right now because I want to have my surgery!

I tell everyone I can. My husband does not want me to tell anyone but when I reach my goal I plan on upgrading anyway so I do not care what he thinks.

I tell everyone I can. My husband does not want me to tell anyone but when I reach my goal I plan on upgrading anyway so I do not care what he thinks.

Damn!