Just wondering if anyone is keeping their sleeve a secret and how it worked out for them? I know you need a support system but I am only telling literally 2 people, besides my hubbs of course! We live far away from family and only see them a few times a year so they will not be able to really support me in any way and i only have a few friends who see me on a regular basis. I just don't want to tell people i had to get surgery to lose weight and have to validate my reasons to them. Do you think its wrong?

I told everyone I knew and still do if it comes up in conversation. I initially decided to tell for support bc my husband travels a lot and I just wasn't sure how it would go or if I'd need my friends to help at times with kids or anything during recovery period(none of that happened and I was walking a couple miles a day the first week;-) Now I still tell everyone but have realized it is for a different reason... the friend who casually and openly told me about her surgery 3 years ago literally changed my life. Had she not been so open and positive and telling me how easy it was and what a good decision it had been for her, I might have missed the boat! I still thank her for her honesty and openess while sitting outside at the picnic table with the whole group of kindergarden class Moms around regarding her surgery, She didn't have to blurt out to me that she had her stomach cut out three years ago( i thought she was one of the one with naturally great genetics!) She is adorable and cute and was 80 pounds heavier 3 years ago. So glad she was open about it! Even if a skinny friend tells an overweight cousin, friend, coworker whatever about the procedure-it's definitely a topic of conversation! it;s kind of like the whole group is on the journey now with me, really lifting me up with losses and encouraging me with those long weekly plateaus! It worked for me but each situation is different!

I finally told my mom, my hubby definitely knows, 3 close friends, and a cousin. I choose not to share the info with people. My in-laws are very judgmental and really don't care about me anyway. They just like to know things because they can cackle about it amongst themselves.

I finally told my mom' date=' my hubby definitely knows, 3 close friends, and a cousin. I choose not to share the info with people. My in-laws are very judgmental and really don't care about me anyway. They just like to know things because they can cackle about it amongst themselves.[/quote']

Sounds line MY inlaws!!!

Well I came out & told everyone on facebook yesterday & man, it feels so good to have that out there! Have only had posititve responses so far! It is great!

I've chosen to tell anyone who asks and I will not keep it a secret. People in general need to hear more about WLS---instead of keeping it a dark secret. Of course, there will will always be those who will judge--those people are the ignorant ones. Would you believe two friends I graduated with, who are doctors now, told me not to do the surgery because "it's not proven to be successful" and that "so many people's lives change for the worse afterwards". BTW, they both could use WLS. I didn't listen to them and made my own decision. It is such a personal decision--only each individual can make.

I originally was only going to tell my husband, mom and my supervisor at work. I completed all of my initial testing and Dr's visits without anyone else knowing. I finally told my co-workers (we work at the hospital where I am having surgery) because I knew they would find out anyway. They have been very supportive and told me if it worked well that maybe some of them would consider it. My husband told his mother and then she told his sister....my sister knows know too. I am not ashamed of having the surgery, I just wasn't wanting the whole world to know. But "KNOWING" that I will be successful, I really don't care anymore. By the way, I am less than a week out from having surgery! May 25th is the day!

I originally was only going to tell my husband, mom and my supervisor at work. I completed all of my initial testing and Dr's visits without anyone else knowing. I finally told my co-workers (we work at the hospital where I am having surgery) because I knew they would find out anyway. They have been very supportive and told me if it worked well that maybe some of them would consider it. My husband told his mother and then she told his sister....my sister knows know too. I am not ashamed of having the surgery, I just wasn't wanting the whole world to know. But "KNOWING" that I will be successful, I really don't care anymore. By the way, I am less than a week out from having surgery! May 25th is the day!

I have only told a handful of people. Some girls from work know, of course my hubby he has been there work me at all my appointments and will be there for the surgery. My parents and sister know too I still haven't told my son, he is 10. I am not ashamed to tell anyone however I just want to wait until it's done. Everyone has their reasons one way or the other and there are always going to be those that support us and those that have something too say about it. We always have each other here on this wonderful site.

Def. sounds like my in-laws! I am 100% percent sure that no matter what I am not telling them. They have always talked about me because of weight, my husband is extremely physically fit, i am the polar opposite of him, but I have pcos and my body fat flares up over the sight of food! Anywho, my sister in law has gone as far as to say that she has a "phobia" agaisnt fat people. I just want to lose the weight and be like "BAM look at me now" lol. I mean I am still having to work hard, diet and excercise, I just needed some extra help. But no matter what, in there eyes i would be a loser who had to get surgery to lose weight and I would forever be talked about.

I hear you letsdothis. That's exactly what I plan to do, show up to a family function like BAM POW how you like me now. I'm so excited about improving my health and boosting my self-esteem. I have not always been overweight, I've gained weight after having my beautiful children. But, now it's time for momma to get her body back. And I'm READY!

I am refussing to tell my family . Why? just because.. Funny thing is my mom had vsg last year I havent even told her.. I just feel like its my business and mine alone .. now my hubby ofcourse knows, his mom, and our kids.. My husbands friend knew and he went and told like 5 of there friends, then they came to my husband like wow why is your wife getting that done she's not even fat like that.. See thats what I dont wanna hear

I don't want my inlaws to know either. They are so judgmental against me. I only see them when I HAVE to. That being said, I haven't seen them since CHRISTMAS!!! I will see them tomorrow for my sons high school graduation, then surgery in August for me! Then hopefully I wont see them again until this Christmas. Hopefully at 4 months post op by them I can be down at LEAST 40...enough to notice! And no, even THEN I won't tell them. They never wanted to include me in their life or get to know me...I'm over it, and they didn't deserve a good me, they sure don't deserve a better me!!!

My surgery is June 7th. I'd love it if we kept in touch as a support system. It seems like we all understand each other.

I agree ..having people to talk to that feel like u do really helps

Those in laws are horrible busy bodies. What do they care as long as you and your husband are happy. Dang nosy in laws!