I'm ready!

I have had to really keep stuff to myself in this decision to get the surgery and my husband is worse than a jealous co-worker boss.

I get no support for him for this surgery at all. He tells me its because he know's I will fail.

I know that I might be a human and have setbacks. I also know that success is made through failure it's not magic

it's determination, commitment and above all don't give up.

Why would he say that I am going to fail at this? when I have succeeded at so many things.!!! Does he think that I'm a failure?

A loser ??

Yes I love food and yes my weight has been an albatross hanging around my neck and I am done with it.

My back hurts am afraid of becoming my mom. God, I love her but her heart conditions scare me and I'm just like her but shorter.

I don't have daughters that will devote their lives to my care by living and working near me and I don't want them too.

I'm considering hiring a private nurse to care for me after the surgery so that my husband won't have to be involved at all.

Thanks, everyone I am moving forward I ran into a lady on Monday that had the surgery in 2008 she said the information that I was sharing with her was not told to her then. Like not having a baby, not drinking too much ....

She lost 120 pounds and has put all but 20 of it back on I was in shock!!

It scared me straight too She told me about all the things she was doing and how she could stop herself

I just don't believe that she wasn't told this 10 years ago and have had the surgery done from such a prestigious university hospital but then I guess so. I don't want to gain this weight back when I reach the goal. I'm looking at all of the success I have had preparing for it and I'm going to have to fight harder I have danced around everything but the problem I don't smoke, drink hard alcohol, or sodas anymore but I still eat; like the stores will be gone tomorrow

I have to stop this or I will be the one that gained it all back just like my husband said.

I need to start right now and toughen my act because I will not lose 120 pounds and gain it all back.

It would not be anyone's fault but my own.

I control what goes into my mouth, not anyone else.

The food is not a comfort I feel guilty and ashamed every time I put food in my mouth.

Thanks for listening while I figure how to get out of this wet paper bag once and for all.

Hey, I’m nine months post gastric sleeve op. I’ve lost 70 pounds, and my goal is to lose another 15. Lately, it’s been very hard to eat right and to stay on track because it’s much easier to eat. I can eat anything. I’m so, so nervous that I’ll end up being like that lady you’re speaking about. It’s my nightmare. I feel like I’m doomed because I’ve heard a lot of such stories... what should I do?

20 minutes ago, Gigi_c said:

Hey, I’m nine months post gastric sleeve op. I’ve lost 70 pounds, and my goal is to lose another 15. Lately, it’s been very hard to eat right and to stay on track because it’s much easier to eat. I can eat anything. I’m so, so nervous that I’ll end up being like that lady you’re speaking about. It’s my nightmare. I feel like I’m doomed because I’ve heard a lot of such stories... what should I do?

I fear this too. We have a tool to help us, write down everything you eat, double check your food choices, remember why you did this. Think of all the health benefits you have now and focus on your success and don’t have ‘cheat days’ with food.

10 hours ago, Gigi_c said:

Hey, I’m nine months post gastric sleeve op. I’ve lost 70 pounds, and my goal is to lose another 15. Lately, it’s been very hard to eat right and to stay on track because it’s much easier to eat. I can eat anything. I’m so, so nervous that I’ll end up being like that lady you’re speaking about. It’s my nightmare. I feel like I’m doomed because I’ve heard a lot of such stories... what should I do?

Everything that Pearldrop said plus, get help if you can. Work with a nutritionist, a therapist, anybody who can help you succeed.

It is important advice from the 2 wise ladies above. True it is YOUR journey but you don't have to face it alone , talk to us but an understanding bariatric therapist is worth him/her weight in gold. But remember Bobbie, we ❤ you. always!

Many husbands are insecure on there wives loosing weight because they feel you will leave if ur skin. What they don’t realize is that it’s there actions that make us leave. I went through this when I lost my weight naturally I lost 100 pounds and my marriage was very rocky until he got a lot more sex and he was happy. He will belittle you make u feel horrible to try to make u fail and unhappy. I highly recommend marriage counseling because he can be part of the food problem.

I have a friend who lost about 40 pounds of the 100 pounds she wanted to lose. She and her husband went to visit her parents and she was very careful to cut a small slice of pie and only eat one piece. Her husband told her just eat the rest of the pie, because “you know you’re going to gain all the weight back anyway.” He told her this constantly this to discourage her from losing more weight. He felt more secure with her being overweight. Maybe your husband is insecure?

WELL I'll simply send him to "you all " for a good old kick in the pants [emoji3]
Thank you all so much!!! I was trying to rationalize his statement and think will there must be something so wrong with me it can't be repaired. Then I thought well maybe he's playing the opposite game with me. Nope, he's that kind of guy he thinks I'm a gluttonous person at 267 pounds. Him at his nice lean and mean 175. Women and men are staring at him like he's candy.
I can't wait!
Thanks so very much

He sounds like a tiny little skin flint of a dude - bad attitude as well! Maybe he is just afraid at how BRIGHT you are going to SHINE! ???

We sometimes try to medicate with food to numb our feelings of feeling like an imposter or that we are unworthy. You might benefit from some counseling. Sometimes as you lose weight, the person that has been demeaning to you will up the ante by becoming even more mean and nasty. These are totally HIS problems. I suggest you tell him straight out - 'I get it that you don't approve, and your comments reflect that, but from this point forward I don't want to hear another negative comment from you. I'm not asking you to change your bloody opinion, just refrain from blathering about it. I AM GETTING THIS SURGERY. Statistics are in my favor for success, I am the only one making this choice. There will be changes in the menus around here. '

Hi I am new to this but all I can say is HIRE THE NURSE and realize that you can do this it might be harder because your on your own but you are gonna lose more then dead weight in this process but what your gonna gain is gonna be so worth it. You deserve this you need this and look at the situation with your husband as one more hurdle you are gonna be able to-jump in this long hard process good luck !!!

16 hours ago, Gigi_c said:

Hey, I’m nine months post gastric sleeve op. I’ve lost 70 pounds, and my goal is to lose another 15. Lately, it’s been very hard to eat right and to stay on track because it’s much easier to eat. I can eat anything. I’m so, so nervous that I’ll end up being like that lady you’re speaking about. It’s my nightmare. I feel like I’m doomed because I’ve heard a lot of such stories... what should I do?

I guess the thing to learn is that you are in control of yourself.

We can and will do whatever it is that we desire most. but don't be afraid of it face it head on give it that superwomen or man look, put your hands on your hips and say "Demon food begone"! I think it's that easy. You have the tool that's why you are so lucky. You have lost 70 lbs that is so wonderful! I'm trying to get my tool, and I don't want to be the one that has all of the excuses for not doing this right the first time. Besides, you made a promise and that's a big deal. What were the promises you made to yourself before you had the bypass and what were they after you had it?

Keep your promise to yourself that's what I'm learning. You got this keep going!

3 hours ago, Bobbie2017 said:

I guess the thing to learn is that you are in control of yourself.

We can and will do whatever it is that we desire most. but don't be afraid of it face it head on give it that superwomen or man look, put your hands on your hips and say "Demon food begone"! I think it's that easy. You have the tool that's why you are so lucky. You have lost 70 lbs that is so wonderful! I'm trying to get my tool, and I don't want to be the one that has all of the excuses for not doing this right the first time. Besides, you made a promise and that's a big deal. What were the promises you made to yourself before you had the bypass and what were they after you had it?

Keep your promise to yourself that's what I'm learning. You got this keep going!

Thank you so much for the encouragement! Good luck with yours!

Hon I’m super sorry you have an unsupportive spouse but you do you girl if you need me pm me we can text ok I’ll be your support

Not cool and very unfortunate. I know its easier said than done but do what's right for you and tell him to deal with it. I am very lucky that my Wife and Kids were so supportive.

On 6/5/2018 at 10:20 PM, Bobbie2017 said:

I don't want to gain this weight back when I reach the goal. I'm looking at all of the success I have had preparing for it and I'm going to have to fight harder I have danced around everything but the problem I don't smoke, drink hard alcohol, or sodas anymore but I still eat; like the stores will be gone tomorrow

Some of us have to face the realization that we are compulsive overeaters. I didn't realize this until I went on vacation and started eating pastries each day I was on vacation. This was six months after my WLS. In the past, it would not have bothered me as I rationalized that I deserved to eat the pastries since I did such a great job losing weight and that I was on vacation. Something clicked in me and I was bothered by my compulsive overeating. Upon my return home, I sought out a therapist who specializes in compulsive disorders. She told me that I was a compulsive overeater and I would fail my WLS. The WLS surgery will help me lose weight no doubt, but if I don't fix the underlying problem I will be doomed to failure. I have since joined Overeaters Anonymous (OA) and between my therapist and OA I clearly see what my problem is and I'm working on fixing it.

In a way this forum helped me as well because there were people here that advised others to see a therapist. I took that advice as well. There are many here that can control their eating and I tip my hat to you. Unfortunately for me, I can't eat like a normal person and I have to work twice as hard at weight loss success. I wish everyone success and if you feel that you need help, please seek it out. Whether that help is a therapist, OA or a support group, you owe it to yourself.