Hi everyone. I have lurked around this forum reading everything for a couple of years. I finally took the plunge and am signed up for surgery with Dr. Illian at the end of May. Can I ask who did you tell prior to your surgery? I find myself not wanting to tell anyone other than my husband. Maybe it is because I have struggled with my weight a 100 times. Maybe it is because I am afraid of being judged. Maybe it is because I don't want to hear other's opinons since my mind is made up. I don't know...who did you tell about your surgery and when did you tell them...or did you just keep it to yourself?

I had my RNY July 2, 2013. I have always been very open about my surgery!! If someone wants to talk about it I will give the good bad and ugly about it!! This WLS is one of the very BEST decisions I have made in my 60years. I feel if I can just help one person to have WLS and start their new JOURNEY then I will be ecstatic. The negative stuff that people have is mostly because of early on WLS's. I know of close family that had their RNY 20 some odd years ago. Even they have some ill feelings about it. I think that the Weight Loss Community has made so many improvements with WLS that people really need to be reducated. There is so much negative that people just over look the positive sometimes. I had checked into WLS back when my friend had her RNY over 25years ago. I didn't have insureance that would cover it so of course we were still raising our family and didn't have the money at all. But...hind site I am so very HAPPY that I didn't have it at that time. I defintly was NOT ready for everything that comes with WLS!! Maybe, someone was looking out for me. You have to be physically ready plus mental ready and at that time I wasn't at the bottom of my weight's barrel. I can say it is a personal thing to tell or not to tell!! Each and everyone of us have to do what is best for us!!

This month is the 4 year mark for my VSG in Mexico with Dr Garcia. It's still one of the best decisions I ever made. At the time, I told my sister and my grown kids (besides my husband who came with me). I correctly guessed there would be a lot of judgement about the surgery and fear for me going to Mexico to have it. Now, after losing over 100 lbs, and keeping it off for 3 years, I tell a lot of people. I know it helped me to know actual people who had the surgery and were happy with it. But if you suspect there will be negative reactions from family, friends, co-workers, etc., you're probably right and you shouldn't feel like you need to share.

Edited April 8, 20179 yr by pantala

I had surgery with Dr. Illan in December of 2016. Before surgery I only told my mom and daughter and a few friends because I didn't want to deal with any drama. After my surgery, I have been more open about it. If someone notices my weight loss and asks me what I'm doing, I will tell them that I had wls, and answer any questions they may have. I feel like if I can educate one person and perhaps change their perception of wls, it can help more people. But I agree with pantala that if you suspect negative reactions from family and others, you probably are right.

My surgery was March 6tg I've told almost everyone but not my father [emoji29]

He wouldn't understand, I have Hypothalamic Obesity and he doesn't believe in the the damage and side effects it causes

I'm a private person. However, I decided not to be so private in letting people know what I've decided to do. I'm still going through the process of attending various classes, meeting with psy to do eval, speaking with nutritionist, etc. Here's my thought...the more information I gather and hearing others who has gone through WLS, the better inform I am. My husband was the first to know. He is very SUPPORTIVE in so many ways. And frankly, he's all that matters. As my 9yrs old grandson told me once, people will talk about you no matter what.....Besides I care less what people think or say about me. So I'm telling everyone I know.

My husband, kids, and inlaws know. MIL has told her whole family, and anyone else that will listen

I haven't told anyone on my side of the family. Still debating...

I find myself surrounded by very supportive friends and family. I told absolutely everyone who would listen. It's a personal decision, only you know what kind of support you have from those closest to you. I encourage you to openly talk to those you love. Their concerns will be out of love for you.

Thank you for responding everyone. It really helped me figure out where I stand and why:

I have a "low" BMI. That just cracks me up because only in the world of VGS would I be considered a low BMIer. I weigh 228-229 LBS and I am 5'10.5. I am obese. I have fought the last 20 years of my life to lose 60 lbs and cannot get it off and now I have health issues.

Not that I am looking for sympathy but I feel like it is kinda lonely to be a low BMIer. I don't feel like I can talk to people who are more overweight than me because the little voice in my head says I will be getting the side-eye because "I don't need it". I don't feel like I can talk to actual low BMI people because I KNOW I will get the lecture how I am not overweight (a polite lie) and how I just need to exercise (I do). My parents are deceased...no need to explain it to them. My adult kids will lose it and launch into the "you don't' need it" speech so I am keeping them out of the loop until it is done. It is a weird place to be so I choose to deal with this privately.

I guess when you put that all together, I don't really care what people think of me but I do enjoy my peace of mind. I don't need their approval nor their criticism so, for now, I am choosing to do this quietly.

50 minutes ago, Aijan said:

Thank you for responding everyone. It really helped me figure out where I stand and why:

I have a "low" BMI. That just cracks me up because only in the world of VGS would I be considered a low BMIer. I weigh 228-229 LBS and I am 5'10.5. I am obese. I have fought the last 20 years of my life to lose 60 lbs and cannot get it off and now I have health issues.

Not that I am looking for sympathy but I feel like it is kinda lonely to be a low BMIer. I don't feel like I can talk to people who are more overweight than me because the little voice in my head says I will be getting the side-eye because "I don't need it". I don't feel like I can talk to actual low BMI people because I KNOW I will get the lecture how I am not overweight (a polite lie) and how I just need to exercise (I do). My parents are deceased...no need to explain it to them. My adult kids will lose it and launch into the "you don't' need it" speech so I am keeping them out of the loop until it is done. It is a weird place to be so I choose to deal with this privately.

I guess when you put that all together, I don't really care what people think of me but I do enjoy my peace of mind. I don't need their approval nor their criticism so, for now, I am choosing to do this quietly.

I can relate to just about everything you have written above. I am 5' 9" and weigh about 220. I gained my weight about 8-9 years ago and my body just does not do well at this weight. I have type 2 diabetes now and I am hoping it will go in remission after this surgery. I can't get below 200 lbs on my own. I really want to lose down to 150 and maintain there if I can.

Good luck to you!!

anyone and everyone. Sharing helps, it also takes a lot of support to really pull this off , so i got help from all my friends family and co workers. I love that.

My husband knows and is very supportive. I called my best friend who lives in another state and was surprised when she shared with me she is having he same surgery. The way our dates are going well should have ours about the same time.

I think everyone is different, and it really just depends on the type of person you are and the type of people you have in your life. I waited until I had made the decision to have the surgery and had my first appointment with my surgeon before I told anyone. Then I told my family and my closest friends (which are mostly work friends) . After my surgery and once my weight loss started, other people at work from other departments/floors that I didn't see everyday would comment and ask me questions. I was very honest about it with everyone. I never really experienced any negativity about it and everyone has been very supportive (and lots of jealousy...LOL).

I'm proud of my weight loss and would recommend this to anyone so I actually enjoy telling people about it. And if I do ever experience negativity from anyone, I'm not really the type of person to let it bother me. They can think what they want and my life will still go on the same. :-)

Funny thing is that I don't really get questions. All my buds from soccer are more interested in telling me congrats for finally losing weight. I was always active. Soccer twice a week, gym twice a week.. I started posting fitness updates the day I went for my first drs appointment. I told 3 friends and my sister. That's all. If someone asked I would probably tell, but no one asks. They just tell me good job.

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I'm open about the procedure and my reasons for having it when it comes up. My family (parents, wife, in-laws) have the full story, and my friends have as much of the story as they're interested to hear.

My my dad and MiL took some explaining, as neither has been obese or had trouble losing weight, and both have the type of personality that struggles to understand what they haven't experienced. Once they had the information they've both been very supportive. My dad, especially, supports me doing everything necessary to age well and avoid the diabetes and cardiovascular disease that robbed mom of her quality of life by the time she was 50.

I'm always happy to be a resource when I can, so that's my nature with everything.