We all have our own reasons for having weight loss surgery. For some of us, it's so that we can stop the progress of diabetes, heart disease and other obesity related illnesses. For others, it's because we are starting to feel pain in our knees, our backs, our feet. And of course, many of us want to look great in skinny jeans, in a bathing suit, a summer dress. (There is NO SHAME in the vanity aspect of WLS, who doesn't love an admiring glance, a great compliment, a quick head turn?)

Personally, I had WLS for all of the reasons above. Not only did I want to extend my life span, but I wanted to improve the quality of my life for myself and my family and I wanted to look and feel great for these prime years of my life. I really had no way of picking out a weight goal as I had been obese for decades and after two children and a few dozen years, I had no idea what 160, 150, 140 would look like any more. I chose to make my goal very Fluid, one of those "I'll know it when I get there" ideas, more focused on pants size than an actual weight.

The day of surgery, I did pick the number 159, which is still "overweight" according to the BMI scale, but that was a number that seemed so lofty and it was a number my doctor was thrilled with. When I hit that goal 9 or so months later, I decided that I'd really like to see 149 (WHAT!?!? UNDER 150!?!?!?!), a number that still alludes me to this day.

I often get messages from people asking me if I am unhappy that I've not reached that number and the answer is HELL NO. What I really imagined for myself was to be in pant sizes that were in the single digits, to be able to do a 5k with my kids, to eliminate all traces of pre-diabetes, to be able to shop in any store I chose. I've done all that and I've maintained it now for over a year. No only that, but I've maintained it without a whole lot of concerted effort -- something that amazes me every day.

I KNOW I could hit 149 -- my stretch goal -- if I worked at it. In fact, I think I could hit 139 and one day I might feel the need to, but I doubt it. I did not have WLS to live the rest of my life fully focused on every morsel that enters my mouth, counting, weighing, measuring obsessively. I still track, I still plan, I still log and measure much of the time, but I choose not to center every meal around my food log like I used to.

Why am I even bringing this up? Because I see some people here and elsewhere who I am scared for. I see a few members who are dipping dangerously close to the underweight end of the BMI scale. I see some people on other boards who are beating themselves up because their size 2s are tight. These people are oozing panic and anxiety over every gram of carb eaten and over every ounce of movement on the scale. Clearly they have traded one eating disorder for another and I fear for them. I also see people on the other end of the spectrum who think that because they've had this surgery, they are free to eat whatever they desire because their restriction will keep them in check and they are shocked when 6 months later they are up 30, 40, 50 pounds.

If you are just starting this journey or are midway through your weight loss, I'd love for you to write down your goals -- what's really important to you about this whole process. Revisit those thoughts as you get close to goal and write down what you feel really good about and where you feel you might be struggling. Use those thoughts to guide you when you feel your thoughts are going haywire and you might need a reality check. And seriously, do NOT listen to your friends, neighbors, family when they tell you that you are too fat, too thin (at 200 pounds, you are NOT too thin), need to lose more, gain some back, etc. Go to your doctor for that.

Keep your perspective in check. This whole process is a real mind fruck ( ) if you allow it to be.

My overarching goal is to get my life back. To go and do what I want where and when I want without worrying about physical limitations. I want the freedom to live life.

Great thread, Lipstick Lady -- I always love your posts. My original goal was to lose 100 because, well, round numbers I suppose. Plus I wanted to be in Carolina Girl's 100+ thread. She was one of my inspirational fugures -- when I started on Batiatric Pal there were successful people who I have intentionally followed closely. (Thank you all y'all.). I weighed 252 at time of surgery and 152 seems reasonable for a woman of 5'6". Some one else once said in a post, "yeah, a hundo would do it for me," and that always makes me laugh. Yes, a hundo will do it for me, too. I don't know if I will get there. Being "in the fifties" (my age also) might do it for me. Those size 10 linen pants in red and purple (two pairs) might do it for me. Back to thinking I will know it when I get there. I worried I might go the disordered route as I was such a restricter. In fact I saw that my chart in my surgeon's office was annotated, "restricter." But that would have happened a long time ago, I think. Now I really do eat what I want, just in small amounts at appropriate intervals. Most of the time. I'm having some difficulties lately and these posts really, really help me. I've never been a part of an online forum and I find I really benefit from this community. Thank you all.

I have no "target", just a bit of thinking out loud.

I think that sometimes we focus so hard on a number, we forget about the reality of our situation. The whole perspective thing gets lost. But again, just my feelings on the subject.

I started with a pretty high weight and I'm really short. I have yet to pick and actual number, but honestly I would be happy anywhere inside of onderland. WLS was just another step in my wellness journey. I had already changed my eating habits to a more clean, whole food based manner of eating. I was already exercising regularly. I wanted to get my allergies under control, and prevent diabetes since I was already in the pre-diabetic stage. I didn't have asthma, high cholesterol or high blood pressure but I knew I couldn't continue to dodge those bullets. I had arthritis from a skiing incident and the weight did not help matters. I wanted to be able to fit in an airplane seat comfortably, and possibly ski again. I know I have a long way to go but I'm pleased with where I'm at so far. My goal is to be 100lbs down by June 18th . After that I'll set another goal.

My doctor wanted me to pick a goal weight. Being obese all my life, anything that started with a 1 seemed foreign to me. I picked 175. My stretch weight would be whatever the bmi charts say for the high end of normal (160) I think. I'm not that interested in my stretch weight.

My reason for losing was to get me active in my life, (Though I think I did pretty well even at my weight, I definitely wasn't a 'shut-in') and ward off health complications. And I want to shop anywhere.

And l never, ever, EVER wanted to become known as 'Big Momma' or any similar term of endearment.

Great topic! My reason for WLS was to assist with controlling my Lymphoedema which i have on both lower limbs. I was finally diagnosed back in 2009, the plan the specialist suggested was to have WLS, back then the two options were Lap band OR have a bypass. I had heard about all the "success" the lap band was having and the fact that it was reversible got my seal of approval. The bypass was just too extreme for me at the time.

I had lap band surgery in 2010 and I lost 80lbs with it, but it was a very very difficult journey for me. There was not a day that went by where i was not vomiting. By 2013 i gave up, i stopped seeing my surgeon for fills as this was not the way to live, i put on all the weight i lost back on slowly.

By early 2014 i was having major problems with my right knee, putting on this excess weight back on caused early OsteoArthritis, this was devastating news. The knee specialist said i was too young for surgery @44 and that i would have to go back to my WLS surgeon to see what can be done with regards to my lap band to assist with losing weight to help alleviate the pain in my knees.

Went back to my WLS Surgeon, had a gastroscopy done and confirmed i had formed a pouch above my band, plan to remove the band asap and either replace it with a new band OR have vertical sleeve gastrectomy. VSG scared me, i didn't know enough about it, and i definitely didn't want to have another lap band. I asked for some time to do some research, i was to meet back with my surgeon in 2 weeks with my decision.

After scouring the internet reading and watching a tonne of videos, i was certain VSG was for me, thank goodness for the internet! Had my revision in Oct 2014 and its been the best decision I've made!

Surgeons goal for me is to get down to 200lbs, but i know i wont be happy there, i honestly will be extremely happy around 176lbs but i would still be classified as overweight, hence i have my stretch goal as 165, if i get there fantastic, if not, and i get to my mini goal of 176, it will still be fantastic I'm not going to stress over it, as long as I'm never 383lbs again that is all that matters to me.

Edited April 30, 201511 yr by VSGmary

Like many here, My reasons for WLS - My health and to get back into living my life. My goal weight was set at 140. (The weight I was in high school)

After reaching goal, My last surgeons visit he mentioned if I lost ten more pounds I would be at my Ideal weight. I have been struggling for the last three months trying to loose ten pounds. My body seems to be settled on where I am. I exercise and eat healthy. I am happy with that.

My goal now is to live it up! participating and enjoying new experiences.

I wanted to feel better. Missed the athlete I once was. Felt bad that my son had such a big, sick mom, that I couldn't hike or camp or go to ballgames etc with my husband, do the stuff we loved to do. Felt like a hypocrite as the ED of a health focused non profit. Have to travel a lot and had begun to hate it. go to conferences and people don't recognize me because I'd become so overweight. Was the outlier in a normal weight family, both my side and my husband's.

I picked my goal of 155 because it's just inside normal for 5'8". If I am able to lose more that would be awesome but ill take anything under 170.

Although my ultimate weight goal was 140, (Im 163lbs right now) more importantly I wanted to be the healthy, strong well built girl I used to be. I was a healthy 125 lbs my young adult life, but that would more than likely be too light now. My sleep apnea is long gone, I can shop in any store and find cute size 10s. Today, after 3 months of Pilates classes , I was able to do a move that impossible 3 months ago. Before my foot injury last summer I ran an exhilarating 2 miles without stopping. I get daily nice looks and compliments from people who think I look attractive, and I think with figuring out an attractive hairstyle and proper makeup I look better now at 56 than did in my slimmer 20 's. If I never get to 140 lbs I will still be VERY happy !!

Awesome Post! My height, Surgery weight and goal weight are fairly close to you, so its nice to hear from someone so similar. Very motivational!!!!!!!!!!!

I developed a new lifestyle of eating end exercise, NEVER to go on a diet again or be a calorie counter.....

I let my body determine what my goal should be....just as a bad lifestyle of eating wrong and being a coach potato slowly increased my weight to obesity, this new lifestyle slowly led my body back to "Normal"

How do I know my weight is normal? Not by BMI's, they are worthless....but because I know what % of my weight consists of body fat, and what % is not....and it is actually a little below normal, in the "Athletic" range due to all the exercising.....

I have been at this weight for about 3 years, there is nothing left to loose and still be healthy....

I get on the scale sometimes twice a day (out of habit) and I am accustomed to the same 5lb negative and positive swings (10 lb range I guess)

And following this lifestyle, I still enjoy things a dieter would never dream of eating....

I plan on staying right here for the rest of my life....

I had my RNY due to the fact I started having horrible side effect from my diabetes meds that I had been on for years. My endo told me that the alternative to the meds was insulin, which he felt would cause me to gain more weight. That was the first time WLS was brought up as an alternative to any meds.

The surgeon set a goal weight of 128 pounds. That's highest I could weigh and be in the normal weight range. I would like to lose to about 115-120 (middle of the normal range) as I remember feeling really good at that weight. It's around 20 pounds more than I weighed in high school. I definitely don't want to be that thin again.

I have read through all the posts and have enjoyed all the thoughtful insights.

For me, it was impossible to really determine a weight because I had no frame of reference. My joke has been "I weighed 10 1/2 pounds when I was born and it hasn't gotten any better! The concept is foreign to me and even now I can't imagine shopping in "Misses" because I never have as an adult.

That being said, when I went to the psychologist for my pre-op clearance she asked me what my goal was and I remember saying that really didn't care, however I would be thrilled if the first number was a "1." Also starting at 299lbs, it would mean I had lost 100lbs. Yes, I am one of those who like round numbers! When I said that it seemed like a distant goal and I was not sure I could attain it. Today I am down 80 pounds and that goal is in sight. It's hard for me to comprehend that I now weigh less than when I got married to my first husband 27 years ago, or that my clothes are now 16W instead of 26W!

My initial goals were wellness related, and they still are, however, I am enjoying a little bit of vanity too

When I started this journey, I had a vision of getting back down to 200 again, or 190 when I was my fittest time of my life at 19, but when I started hitting the gym hard again and putting on new muscle, I seemed to have stalled at 222. And you know what, I am actually quite happy here. I keep getting stronger, the quality of my life is great. I log in my food on myfitnesspal to keep track of my Protein intake, but I mostly eat what I like, I don't need all the meds I used to take. I gave my mom my c-pap because I don't need it any more. I don't need validation from the scale, I am wearing the same size pants I wore in high school again, even my old Army uniform is too big. I'm contented. If my body wants to drop more weight, that's fine with me, but I am mostly going to pay attention to snugness of my clothes.

I didn't know how to pick a goal weight and my surgeon and his staff didn't give me any direction to do this... now that I'm in the process I think this was intentional. They just asked what my goal weight is and I said 160 because it is a number that I remembered feeling pretty good at for a long period of time as an adult. Not a skinny-minny, bikini model, or a teenager body, but a realistic for me number. I also remembered that when I was at that weight I had more energy, didn't need high blood pressure meds, wasn't pre-diabetic, and had no sleep apnea.

Now- I'm 164.. so 4 more pounds and I'll be there. I feel really really good for the first time in more than a decade. I have jiggly parts everywhere but don't care because this grandma of 3 is getting healthy again. I may lower my goal after I maintain 160 and tone up because I know the BMI charts say its probably better at 5'2" if I weigh a little less... but not much. We'll see.