We all have our own reasons for having weight loss surgery. For some of us, it's so that we can stop the progress of diabetes, heart disease and other obesity related illnesses. For others, it's because we are starting to feel pain in our knees, our backs, our feet. And of course, many of us want to look great in skinny jeans, in a bathing suit, a summer dress. (There is NO SHAME in the vanity aspect of WLS, who doesn't love an admiring glance, a great compliment, a quick head turn?)

Personally, I had WLS for all of the reasons above. Not only did I want to extend my life span, but I wanted to improve the quality of my life for myself and my family and I wanted to look and feel great for these prime years of my life. I really had no way of picking out a weight goal as I had been obese for decades and after two children and a few dozen years, I had no idea what 160, 150, 140 would look like any more. I chose to make my goal very Fluid, one of those "I'll know it when I get there" ideas, more focused on pants size than an actual weight.

The day of surgery, I did pick the number 159, which is still "overweight" according to the BMI scale, but that was a number that seemed so lofty and it was a number my doctor was thrilled with. When I hit that goal 9 or so months later, I decided that I'd really like to see 149 (WHAT!?!? UNDER 150!?!?!?!), a number that still alludes me to this day.

I often get messages from people asking me if I am unhappy that I've not reached that number and the answer is HELL NO. What I really imagined for myself was to be in pant sizes that were in the single digits, to be able to do a 5k with my kids, to eliminate all traces of pre-diabetes, to be able to shop in any store I chose. I've done all that and I've maintained it now for over a year. No only that, but I've maintained it without a whole lot of concerted effort -- something that amazes me every day.

I KNOW I could hit 149 -- my stretch goal -- if I worked at it. In fact, I think I could hit 139 and one day I might feel the need to, but I doubt it. I did not have WLS to live the rest of my life fully focused on every morsel that enters my mouth, counting, weighing, measuring obsessively. I still track, I still plan, I still log and measure much of the time, but I choose not to center every meal around my food log like I used to.

Why am I even bringing this up? Because I see some people here and elsewhere who I am scared for. I see a few members who are dipping dangerously close to the underweight end of the BMI scale. I see some people on other boards who are beating themselves up because their size 2s are tight. These people are oozing panic and anxiety over every gram of carb eaten and over every ounce of movement on the scale. Clearly they have traded one eating disorder for another and I fear for them. I also see people on the other end of the spectrum who think that because they've had this surgery, they are free to eat whatever they desire because their restriction will keep them in check and they are shocked when 6 months later they are up 30, 40, 50 pounds.

If you are just starting this journey or are midway through your weight loss, I'd love for you to write down your goals -- what's really important to you about this whole process. Revisit those thoughts as you get close to goal and write down what you feel really good about and where you feel you might be struggling. Use those thoughts to guide you when you feel your thoughts are going haywire and you might need a reality check. And seriously, do NOT listen to your friends, neighbors, family when they tell you that you are too fat, too thin (at 200 pounds, you are NOT too thin), need to lose more, gain some back, etc. Go to your doctor for that.

Keep your perspective in check. This whole process is a real mind fruck ( ) if you allow it to be.

This is a good topic. I am 5'0" and I have lost about 45 pounds since my WLS six months ago. I would like to lose approximately 20 pounds more, which would put me at somewhere between 120-125 pounds. I don't think going any further than that would look good on me. But OTOH I'm like you, lipstick lady, I'm kind of like, how am I going to know until I get there? Right now I'm just shooting for the upper end of a "normal" BMI. Hell, I was so ecstatic to be out of the "obese" range and into the "merely overweight" range!

I've kind of stalled for a few weeks but I have to admit I haven't been great with working out. (It didn't help that I've had a horrible upper respiratory infection this month, so even just walking the dogs is a PITA, lung-wise.) I know if I get back on the exercise wagon and get consistent with logging my food intake the weight will start dropping off again. I have to say though, I'm just so happy to be in regular sizes again (even single digits in pants! hallelujah!) that I haven't been freaking out about this stall. Even if I never lost another pound, I look and feel 100x better than I did a year ago. And I know I will never be that miserable again. So yes, while I still have an end goal in mind, I'm quite content with where I am at this moment.

Aaahhh ... my true weight loss goal?

To be healthy and strong enough to work toward and achieve any goals I set. That includes physical goals, lifestyle goals, career goals, avocational goals, life with family and friends, and (as they say about people going through physical rehab) just plain old activities of daily living.

I've already reached my weight loss goal and, in a lot of ways, feel like I'm going through physical rehab. Now I have a new body I'm working on making stronger and more able.

At first my surgeon set the goal weight for me (according to the BMI under 25) to 110 lbs but after 6 months check up I was at 132 lbs and he decided I don't have to go down to 110 anymore because he said my body now is in 'normal' shape. So he told me to lose until 130-125 lbs and it should be enough. He said he doesn't want me to be too skinny (which might make me sick again).

Now when I'm only 1 lbs away from my new goal weight, I don't care much about losing anymore. Actually it's been a while that I feel this way because since a few months I've been in the size M clothes, now I fit in XS - size 4 but I'm more comfortble in size S. I don't want to look skinny!!! I only want to look strong and fit. Luckily, I don't have a lot of saggy skin, just around the inner thights and upper arms, so now I only exercise to work on muscles and my skin, not to lose more weight or sizes. Though the exercises might make me lose more, I think my true goal weight must be around 110-120 lbs.

To be at a size and weight where I can shop in "regular" clothing stores.

To be at a point of health where I can safely conceive, carry and deliver babies.

To be able to run around and be active and play with forementioned babies as they grow up.

I set my goal weight as 150, but truthfully I just want my BMI and body fat % in a healthy range that my doctor and I both agree with.

My goal of 150 is what I was in high school and I wanted with all my heart to get back to that. Of course I wanted to be healthy for all the reasons you have mentioned but because I suffer from osteoarthritis so bad I hoped that the extra pounds lost would help and surprisingly it has. While I do still experience pain all over I haven't been on prescribed medications since way before my surgery over 4 years ago. My doctor's goal for me; however, was 134 and I thought he was crazy because I didn't see that obtainable for me and if you see my ticker I'll be darn if I didn't reach his goal and surpassed it by two pounds. I couldn't believe it. I am finally what is considered a normal bmi and after all these years I'm in between a size 6 and 8. I just wanted to get back in my size twelve like in high school. I NEVER IMAGINED BEING IN A SINGLE DIGIT. It truly blows my mind. I totally hear you in regards to seeing how others view themselves after reaching their goal. Being healthy doesn't mean being super skinny either. I still consider myself a big girl even though my clothing size may say otherwise. Great post.

Get rid of the pain in my knees and ankles...check

Have normal BP....check

Hop up in the saddle without having to find a rock or log to climb on....check

Look hot in jeans and boots...check

Walk and hike and ski and climb hills and stairs without getting out of breath...check

Be able to shop for cute clothes in regular stores...check

Feel good about going out in public and know I'm not the biggest one in the room....check.

Look hard and ripped in a sports bra or tank top....check

Never have to be on a diet again....check!!!