We all have our own reasons for having weight loss surgery. For some of us, it's so that we can stop the progress of diabetes, heart disease and other obesity related illnesses. For others, it's because we are starting to feel pain in our knees, our backs, our feet. And of course, many of us want to look great in skinny jeans, in a bathing suit, a summer dress. (There is NO SHAME in the vanity aspect of WLS, who doesn't love an admiring glance, a great compliment, a quick head turn?)

Personally, I had WLS for all of the reasons above. Not only did I want to extend my life span, but I wanted to improve the quality of my life for myself and my family and I wanted to look and feel great for these prime years of my life. I really had no way of picking out a weight goal as I had been obese for decades and after two children and a few dozen years, I had no idea what 160, 150, 140 would look like any more. I chose to make my goal very Fluid, one of those "I'll know it when I get there" ideas, more focused on pants size than an actual weight.

The day of surgery, I did pick the number 159, which is still "overweight" according to the BMI scale, but that was a number that seemed so lofty and it was a number my doctor was thrilled with. When I hit that goal 9 or so months later, I decided that I'd really like to see 149 (WHAT!?!? UNDER 150!?!?!?!), a number that still alludes me to this day.

I often get messages from people asking me if I am unhappy that I've not reached that number and the answer is HELL NO. What I really imagined for myself was to be in pant sizes that were in the single digits, to be able to do a 5k with my kids, to eliminate all traces of pre-diabetes, to be able to shop in any store I chose. I've done all that and I've maintained it now for over a year. No only that, but I've maintained it without a whole lot of concerted effort -- something that amazes me every day.

I KNOW I could hit 149 -- my stretch goal -- if I worked at it. In fact, I think I could hit 139 and one day I might feel the need to, but I doubt it. I did not have WLS to live the rest of my life fully focused on every morsel that enters my mouth, counting, weighing, measuring obsessively. I still track, I still plan, I still log and measure much of the time, but I choose not to center every meal around my food log like I used to.

Why am I even bringing this up? Because I see some people here and elsewhere who I am scared for. I see a few members who are dipping dangerously close to the underweight end of the BMI scale. I see some people on other boards who are beating themselves up because their size 2s are tight. These people are oozing panic and anxiety over every gram of carb eaten and over every ounce of movement on the scale. Clearly they have traded one eating disorder for another and I fear for them. I also see people on the other end of the spectrum who think that because they've had this surgery, they are free to eat whatever they desire because their restriction will keep them in check and they are shocked when 6 months later they are up 30, 40, 50 pounds.

If you are just starting this journey or are midway through your weight loss, I'd love for you to write down your goals -- what's really important to you about this whole process. Revisit those thoughts as you get close to goal and write down what you feel really good about and where you feel you might be struggling. Use those thoughts to guide you when you feel your thoughts are going haywire and you might need a reality check. And seriously, do NOT listen to your friends, neighbors, family when they tell you that you are too fat, too thin (at 200 pounds, you are NOT too thin), need to lose more, gain some back, etc. Go to your doctor for that.

Keep your perspective in check. This whole process is a real mind fruck ( ) if you allow it to be.

@@Debbieduck4 - I'm the same height as you and that's my sorta goal. I have no idea if I will ever get there and my doctor has never mentioned a goal weight to this day, but it would be nice if I could get there.

@@BLERDgirl and @@Debbieduck4 I also have a similar goal. I can't figure out for the life of me how I can weigh so much but still look pretty darn good, lol! I'd like to get under 160, just because it would give me a little wiggle room. I wear a size 8, and I'm thrilled with it.

But honestly, when I started this process, my only goal was to rid my self of the misery that is morbid obesity. The continuous exhaustion that you don't even realize you have, the generalized pain, the looming threat of larger health issues, the degeneration of joints, the social stigma, and the pure misery of trying to fit that huge body into a world that was a place where big would go, but super big was not welcome.

I didn't know what was possible. I thought at first if I could get to under 200, I'd be happy. That would get me to "normal fat". And then I started to realize I could do better than that. For a while I wanted a normal BMI. Others do it, and I wanted that, too. Then reality hit. A normal BMI is probably out of reach for me, based on the amount of work I'm willing to do. Normal is all I ever wanted, and I've achieved that. Now my goal is to never let go of it!

My ultimate goal is just to be healthy and active. I have WAY too much muscle mass to ever look at the BMI standard so I am looking at my body fat to muscle ratio. I want to be in the low teens for body fat. Right now I am about 22% right now at 255lbs.

I want to be able to be active in my childrens' lives and be able to show by example how to live healthy and actively.

@@KingMoose Actually from all the reports I've been reading that is a better measure of health than BMI numbers anyway.

My primary goal for weight loss would probably be considered vanity. I'm tired of being fat. I also could see the writing on the wall health-wise. While I didn't have health issues yet, 5-10 years from now, I definitely would - maybe sooner.

I've been overweight for 15 years, so my 135 goal weight is arbitrary. I chose it because it is in the normal BMI range and sounded nice. When I was thin in my 20s, I weighed about 154 and was a size 4. I carried a lot of muscle back then though. Now that I'm 40, I have no idea what weight I'll be best at, so until then, I'm sticking with 135 as a goal.

My goal was to have a baby! I have her now, so now it's just to be healthy.

Love it! (That is a response to several posts. ..tee hee)

I just happened upon this thread and I'm glad I did. My goals and motivations are similar to others'. At first, I was all about giving myself the best odds to live long enough to see my grandchildren grow up and to stop feeling like crap all the time. Once my diabetes went into remission and my myriad aches and pains were gone, I started focusing on keeping my new-found good health. I was so miserable at 244 lbs. I could barely get through a day without severe physical pain and also frequently felt disrespected and overlooked socially.

I may seem too rigid to others, but I have "been there, done that" and regained every pound when I stopped focusing on eating healthily. That doesn't mean I intend to never eat recreationally. I have several special treats planned for birthdays, anniversaries, etc. in the next few weeks. It just means that on a day to day basis, I have to remind myself to eat like a healthy person, not like an obese person.

As far as my current weight, at 113, I'm already lower than I ever believed possible and don't need to lose anymore. I just don't want to gain five, then ten, then...

Great topic! You are so right – there is no single correct weight loss goal for everyone, and even for one person, the choice can be based on so many different things and can change throughout the journey (which never ends, by the way) depending on so many factors.

For me, the “obvious” goal weight was a BMI of 25 – the official “normal” cut-off for BMI. Conveniently, that was, for me, very close to losing about 100 lbs. For me, it turned out to be about the “right” goal. It’s a number that I hit within about a year of getting my lap-band and that I’ve been able to maintain, plus or minus a few, for over a decade. It’s a weight that lets me do what I want, which is the goal in life. I can play with my kids and have fun at the gym. And, I’m healthy. So my goal weight hasn’t changed much, but it’s way more than a number to me.

I just wanted to be able to look at a picture of myself and think "I don't look fat!"

I'm almost there. Almost.

Great topic! You are so right.

I'm always right. Yeeeesh.

We all have our own reasons for having weight loss surgery. For some of us, it's so that we can stop the progress of diabetes, heart disease and other obesity related illnesses. For others, it's because we are starting to feel pain in our knees, our backs, our feet. And of course, many of us want to look great in skinny jeans, in a bathing suit, a summer dress. (There is NO SHAME in the vanity aspect of WLS, who doesn't love an admiring glance, a great compliment, a quick head turn?)

Personally, I had WLS for all of the reasons above. Not only did I want to extend my life span, but I wanted to improve the quality of my life for myself and my family and I wanted to look and feel great for these prime years of my life. I really had no way of picking out a weight goal as I had been obese for decades and after two children and a few dozen years, I had no idea what 160, 150, 140 would look like any more. I chose to make my goal very Fluid, one of those "I'll know it when I get there" ideas, more focused on pants size than an actual weight.

The day of surgery, I did pick the number 159, which is still "overweight" according to the BMI scale, but that was a number that seemed so lofty and it was a number my doctor was thrilled with. When I hit that goal 9 or so months later, I decided that I'd really like to see 149 (WHAT!?!? UNDER 150!?!?!?!), a number that still alludes me to this day.

I often get messages from people asking me if I am unhappy that I've not reached that number and the answer is HELL NO. What I really imagined for myself was to be in pant sizes that were in the single digits, to be able to do a 5k with my kids, to eliminate all traces of pre-diabetes, to be able to shop in any store I chose. I've done all that and I've maintained it now for over a year. No only that, but I've maintained it without a whole lot of concerted effort -- something that amazes me every day.

I KNOW I could hit 149 -- my stretch goal -- if I worked at it. In fact, I think I could hit 139 and one day I might feel the need to, but I doubt it. I did not have WLS to live the rest of my life fully focused on every morsel that enters my mouth, counting, weighing, measuring obsessively. I still track, I still plan, I still log and measure much of the time, but I choose not to center every meal around my food log like I used to.

Why am I even bringing this up? Because I see some people here and elsewhere who I am scared for. I see a few members who are dipping dangerously close to the underweight end of the BMI scale. I see some people on other boards who are beating themselves up because their size 2s are tight. These people are oozing panic and anxiety over every gram of carb eaten and over every ounce of movement on the scale. Clearly they have traded one eating disorder for another and I fear for them. I also see people on the other end of the spectrum who think that because they've had this surgery, they are free to eat whatever they desire because their restriction will keep them in check and they are shocked when 6 months later they are up 30, 40, 50 pounds.

If you are just starting this journey or are midway through your weight loss, I'd love for you to write down your goals -- what's really important to you about this whole process. Revisit those thoughts as you get close to goal and write down what you feel really good about and where you feel you might be struggling. Use those thoughts to guide you when you feel your thoughts are going haywire and you might need a reality check. And seriously, do NOT listen to your friends, neighbors, family when they tell you that you are too fat, too thin (at 200 pounds, you are NOT too thin), need to lose more, gain some back, etc. Go to your doctor for that.

Keep your perspective in check. This whole process is a real mind fruck ( ) if you allow it to be.

Great post. So correct on so many points!!

My goals were personal and professional. As a nursing student, I felt like a hypocrite. Herr I was, 333 pounds and needing to advise other people on their own diet. How seriously would my patients take me, when I am morbidly obese myself. It is like going to a dietician who is overweight. I refused to let myself enter nursing, and not be able to actually help my patients. Also, my career is very physical. Although my weight did not stop me from doing my job, I felt exhausted at the end of the day, and my feet killed me. Also infection control. My big bum kept rubbing the curtains and that could have transferred organisms from patient to patient. You can wash your hands between each patient, sure, but what was on my clothing!

On a personal note, I really wanted to have a fit body, as I described as being a "Mom body". I did want to lose weight, but I am not sure if I was ever so fixed on the weight. My goal for body style, was to be that of a mom who had a baby (to accept my excess skin) and be fit and toned despite the excess skin. This is still my goal.

I have lost 170 pounds, and my weight loss goals are pretty much minimal. Although I still want to lose 30 more pounds, my goal for year 2 is mindfulness of food, accountability and strength. In my opinion, being 140 pounds and scrawny is not something I want. I would rather be 140 pounds, mom yoga fit body. So my biggest strive for this year is to strengthen this body and appreciate it.

So how did I plan to accomplish this?

I enrolled in yoga, I go 4 times a week, and I run 3 times per week, and have signed up for 6 5k/10k runs that include obstacles for the next 5 months.

In the end, I am fine with my weight right now and I just need to tone more.

Diet wise- I am ting to be more nutrient conscious. I am already severely deficient, and need to I prove this.

I love your posts lipstick lady

One of the many reasons I switched from my first bariatric surgeon was because he was morbidly obese.

During our third appointment, he asked me why I gained 5 pounds over the Christmas holidays. I looked at him and asked why he appeared to have gained 20. Needless to say, we weren't a match.

I spent most of my life thin and the last 15 years over weight. In high school I was too thin at 98lbs and a size 0 but I could not gain weight no matter what my doctors or parents tried. I did eat. As an older adult after having my first child my weight settled in the 120's that was a good weight area for me although on the low end of the BMI scale.

I have set my goal at 130 because I feel it is reasonable and easy to reach.

I am currently a size 6 or 8 but can tell I can lose more and need to tone up quite a bit. Lots of flabby places.

I could go below 130 but I am not worried about that. If my body decides that is what i wants I am ok with it.

My ultimate goal is to get strong again. Strong enough to haul my body up a mountain or through caves. Strong enough to lift my own weight. I want to be able to climb a mountain all day and carry my own gear for camping in a pack on my back again. I want to be able to row a kayake all day in the ocean and look amazing doing all of it.