Hi Everyone,

I wanted to jump on here and share with you all the last six months for our family. My name is Lyndsey. I am a 28 year old mother of two, and married to my prince charming. For me, weight has been a struggle my entire life. I remember vividly being told at just 5 years old by a doctor that I was "obese" and from that point forward my journey really began. I had a pretty normal life, but fought weigth my whole life. I met my wonderful husband at work after loosing 60 pounds all on my own. Needless to say, marriage and getting comfortable- well, and having two children gave me all of that, plus more back. Before the surgery I was 255 with a BMI of 41.9. I had my surgery (VSG) May 8th, 2013 and just over 6 months later I am weighing in at 159.5. Since surgery I have had it pretty easy. I healed well, but did get pancreatitis right after the surgery and had to be hospitalized again for a few days. They were never sure if it was related to the surgery or not. Since the surgery I have tried really hard to make healthy choices with food, but to be completely honest I am a mom, and occasionally we do still eat McDonalds! (gasp!) I do not count calories, carbs, or anything for that matter. My doctor never told me I needed to. I DO drink diet coke... (terrible, I know!) I live a normal life now. I go out with my family, friends, and I am not constantly on some fad diet that wont work. I eat what my family eats, but I do try to focus on eating the Protein first, and follow that with the veggies, then the yummy sides if there is room (which there almost never is!). My goal is to be somewhere in the 130's. I really dont care if its 139.9 but I want to be in the 130's. I hope to reach that goal by the one year anniversary of my surgery.

I would also like to tell you about my big sister, my only sibling. Sherrie was a 34 year old mother of three, and also married to her high school sweetheart. They have been married almost 17 years. Sherrie had her surgery April 24th (2 weeks before me) and there were complications following the surgery. We didn't see it as much at first, or I probably wouldn't have gone through with it myself. But as I healed and started getting back to normal, my sister got sicker and sicker. Her stomach had a stricture at the top. The surgon put in a stent to try to expand it. They stent bacame embedded into her stomach wall and they had to dig it out. After that, the middle of her stomach healed closed so tightly that she couldn't eat or drink anything and keep it down. She had eaten almost nothing for 6 months. She was in and out of the hospital, and the surgon made it very difficult for her to get anyone to help her. Finally when they found the problem we were able to schedule her with a new surgon to hopefully get the problem fixed. She was hospitalized twice in October for dehydration and malnutrition. The second time they put in a PIC line, and bagan IV nutrition (TPN). She was finally feeling better. They sent her home with the PIC line and instructions on how to give herself the IV nutrition and we were told to continue this until her appointment with the new surgon. She came home from the hospital Monday afternoon. Tuesday I talked to her, and she sounded better than she had in months. She was optimistic that we could get her better and even shared with me that before they started the IV nutrition she was scared she was going to die, but now she felt like she has a chance. Wednesday morning (October 30th, 2013) we got the call that broke our family. My beautiful big sister had died at home, alone in her bed. She had asked her husband to not sleep in their bed as she was scared he would pull out her PIC line, so he was in another room. He came into their room that morning to check on her and get ready for work and found her. It was just too late. She had been gone for several hours. We were in shock. We had just got a glimpse of hope with the IV nutrition, and in the blink of an eye, she was gone. I went to the funeral home to dress my big sister, do her hair, do her makeup, and spend some time with her before we had to say goodbye. We burried her the following Monday. A huge piece of my heart is missing now. I want to share her story too because there are so many who have all these wonderful stories, but she doesn't have a voice anymore to share hers. People need to know that you CAN die from this surgery. When I had the surgery I honestly felt like the only people that die from this were the "huge" ones... and thats just not true. My sister was my size. she wasn't some crazy 500 or 800 pound person. She was in a size 18 pants JUST like I was. She died. It can happen. It does happen. I did happen to us. I am not trying to scare anyone, but I want to be her voice too. Do you research, make sure this is the right choice for you and your family. We are left now with three children that now have no mother, and my amazing brother in law (who loved my sister more than I've ever seen anyone love someone) is widowed. His heart is broken, and so is ours. A vital part of our family is missing. Below is a picture of my big sister before the surgery. She was beautiful.

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To those that are saying "if you have no quality of life, its worth the risk" I beg of you to think of your families that you could leave behind. My sister was in so much pain from her knees and the doctors told her that they wouldn't help her unless she lost weight, but because of her pain she really couldn't loose it on her own. So, she had the surgery. I think if she knew she was going to die she would have rather lived in that much pain just to have the chance to watch her kids grow up... I know she would have.

Think of what you could leave behind... make sure THATS worth the risk....

Honestly, as susccessful as I have been, I do wish I hadn't done it. It WASN"T worth the risk. I thank God everyday that I am safe and healthy, but I live everyday with the guilt that she needed the surgery to live comfortable, and died.

I waited until my children were older and did not need me day to day or minute to minute....For me it was worth the risk for your sister no..The worst possible thing happened to her and I am sorry for that and your ongoing grief...But for most of us here it may be worth the risk...We have a chance to totally change our lives and the prospect of feeling healthier and living longer...'

Even though I new that the possibility of death was there I believed that that certainly could not happen to me....I was so wrong...I almost died and am still suffering the effects of everything going wrong.

I wish I had been more aware of the of the risks not just about the possible chance of dying but all the other things that happened to me as well...Some others on here have not had an easy go of it either..I am just one of a few of them....

Weighing the risks and deciding if it was worth it was my own decision... I had no quality of life...I was the living dead and thought of ending my life 2 times because of the burden I was placing on my family looking after me....After all the worst was over with the trouble...I did begin to live and got healthier and am able to hold my grand daughter tight and cook a meal for my hubby and walk now, can I ever walk....

These are the reasons the risk was worth it to me personally...Others I am sure have their reasons...

It is awful and my heart breaks for you and your family for all you are going through...I think your experience needs to be told to help people see that not everyone works out.....Your sister made her decision based on what she knew and I think that the medical field failed her not the surgery.....

Please understand that there is a place for WLS in our obese world and so many have benefited from it..Like me....

Although I am very sorry for your loss, this is a rare and unusual case. I've never heard of anyone dying at my bariactric center. I know it can happen but don't be scared to have your surgery. Be excited for your new birthday! Look forward to all the great things ahead. Stress will only hinder your healing process. I hate seeing stories like this. Sounds like malpractice on the doctors side or somebody wasn't doing what they were supposed to.

I don't think Lyndsey's goal in posting her sister's story was to scare anyone out of going under the knife, per se, but it's a warning and a reminder that there are inherent risks in surgical procedures (btw this is nowhere close to exclusive to bariatric surgery). Those risks are compounded by many factors - some related to the quality of care received, some related to underlying conditions in the patient, some are less defined. Mortality isn't common at all, that's true, but when one says something like "this story is sad but it's so rare, it's so unusual" part of me feels that it's trivializing the experiences of the families who did lose loved ones. It wasn't "rare" enough for them to not experience it.

All of us took (or are considering taking) a risk. There are a lot of unknowns out there too, even for those who heal well and don't experience complications. Think about this: there are no longitudinal studies on VSG patients - the procedure hasn't been around long enough. It may be the right choice for a lot of people to make here and now who can't lose the weight any other way, but that doesn't mean anyone should brush off the risks, the stats, or the unknowns. Every patient should be well informed, but we should all also listen to that little voice in the back of our heads. If something doesn't seem right or you don't feel ready, don't go through with it. This is one of the hardest decisions many of us will ever make. No one should do themselves the disservice of deciding without seriously considering all possibilities.

To those that are saying "if you have no quality of life, its worth the risk" I beg of you to think of your families that you could leave behind. My sister was in so much pain from her knees and the doctors told her that they wouldn't help her unless she lost weight, but because of her pain she really couldn't loose it on her own. So, she had the surgery. I think if she knew she was going to die she would have rather lived in that much pain just to have the chance to watch her kids grow up... I know she would have.

Think of what you could leave behind... make sure THATS worth the risk....

Honestly, as susccessful as I have been, I do wish I hadn't done it. It WASN"T worth the risk. I thank God everyday that I am safe and healthy, but I live everyday with the guilt that she needed the surgery to live comfortable, and died.

May I ask which procedure she had?

During my surgery my surgeon nicked my spleen (as best we can tell). I was bleeding internally and nearly died (my husband saved me- he was the one who realized something was wrong after the surgery). My blood pressure was 50/0 and my heart rate was 34. This is uncompensated shock (or stage 3 shock) and few people survive. My husband and I are paramedics and know how close to death I was. I got 5 units of blood and was still low, but the bleeding had stopped. My surgeon told me he had done the procedure over 400 times and had never had a complication. I am fine now. I had lost 72 pounds before my surgery and have lost 106 as of today (my surgery was Sept 16, 2013). Surgery has risks and so does anesthesia. I had an excellent surgeon- and still believe he is excellent! He is human and all humans make mistakes. You need to weigh those risks very carefully before you take the plunge. This is not an "easy fix" to make you skinny. I chose the surgery because I knew I could lose weight but I always gain it back. I knew I couldn't keep doing that. I had NO health problems before the surgery but I knew it was only a matter of time.

BKLYNgal87: you are right. I wasn't trying to "scare off" anyone.

I just wanted to be her voice. How are the people who don't make it supposed to be heard if we don't speak for them?

Also, yes it does feel like Amanda Nicole Hosaflook is brushing off what happened by what she said.. that hurt. It may be rare but she was MY SISTER!!! Amanda Nicole Hosaflook-how fing rare does it feel? let me tell you, not even a little when it happens to your family. All the studies in the world don't change how raw this pain in my heart is, how much it hurts to know that my big sister, my only sibling, is gone. How much it sucked to try to have a normal thanksgiving when she was the cook in the family? do you even have feelings? Really? dont you DARE jump my case about "scaring people off" by sharing her TRUE story... just as you have the right to jump on here and start trivializing my family's experience, I have the right to share her story and encourage people to make smart decisions and be educated about what your doing to your body, and the choice your making.

Dear op,

While I have not commented on this thread I have been following it. And first off my condolences to you and your family. I understand you wanting to be her voice. We have had members here pass before and sometimes family members will come and post as you did, other times they just silently disappear without much notice....

I may be mistaken but I did not take the other post as an attack or meant to trivialize your loss.

At the end of the day this is a major surgery and all of us need to do our do diligence in researching it and make our own decision.

yes we all rolled the dice with this surgery, just as we do everyday in life to some extent

and and most of us make it through and reap the rewards.

Again my deepest sympathies go out to you..

Please take care and don't put your energy into the small stuff

I am so sorry for your loss,the love you have for your sister comes through, and having lost my own sister, I understand how it leaves an empty space in your heart. My condolences to you and your entire family.

LyndsayD,

I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my younger brother 18 months ago and still feel his loss everyday. I know how hard all of those"first" holidays are when someone you love is not there. Thank you for coming here to share her story and to be her voice. Everyone needs to hear what can happen with VSG....if not for themselves, then at least for their families. I'm sorry others have overlooked your pain in their responses. You just keep doing whatever you need to to get through this.

I am so sorry to hear of your sister's passing. This surgery, like any other surgery, has it's risks. We all know that going into it but most of us think it won't happen to us. I can't imagine how devastated you and your family must be. Take comfort in knowing your sister is dancing on the streets of gold and with you on your journey.

I'm so sorry. I wasn't trying to brush your sister off. I didn't mean to offend you. I'm just interested in seeing what the cause of death was. After I posted this somebody who just had their surgery at my center passed away. It's terrible losing one of ours. However, many judged first and said it was because of his surgery. It was not actually. He had a blocked artery in his heart and died of a heart attack. I was just trying to be a little more encouraging by my reply to people who may have felt uneasy about the surgery after your post. Again, sorry if you took this in the wrong way.

To those that are saying "if you have no quality of life, its worth the risk" I beg of you to think of your families that you could leave behind. My sister was in so much pain from her knees and the doctors told her that they wouldn't help her unless she lost weight, but because of her pain she really couldn't loose it on her own. So, she had the surgery. I think if she knew she was going to die she would have rather lived in that much pain just to have the chance to watch her kids grow up... I know she would have.

Think of what you could leave behind... make sure THATS worth the risk....

Honestly, as susccessful as I have been, I do wish I hadn't done it. It WASN"T worth the risk. I thank God everyday that I am safe and healthy, but I live everyday with the guilt that she needed the surgery to live comfortable, and died.

Well I have hip and back pain from a car accident, and no doctors would help me to manage my pain, and that is the same reason I got the surgery, because nothing else was helping. I can barely walk still, but since the surgery I can stand longer without hip and back pain. I can walk farther than before too. I love my husband and I would hate to leave him behind, but he knew there were risks and he knew I did what I did for a chance at a better life. I say it's a choice that everyone has to make and follow all the rules to the diet. If you don't think it's worth the risk, don't get the surgery. You could follow the diet they give you. I lost a ton of weight before just diet and exercise. I tried to tell myself I had the surgery, and tried to lose weight that way. The thing is lifestyle change. My surgeon says that the surgery is only a tool to help with a lifestyle change. So I say to anyone wanting the surgery, but afraid to take the risk...follow the diet anyway. See if it works for you.

So sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing your sister's story, along with your own. It's tragic for all in your family and hopefully the kind words of those who respond lend some small comfort to you.

My prayers and condolences got out to you and your family and her husband and her three kids! This surgery does have risks! That's one of my biggest worries with the surgery. I have two kids of my own and I need and want to be there for everything with them. I can't imagine her children's heartache along with her husband and family. She was beautiful and always will be. Keep her story traveling to send the msg that people have to do their research with surgeons, hospitals, the procedure and everything else! I'm truly sorry for your loss!

THank you all again for your kind thoughts, prayers, and support. I would love to tell you all which hospitals (yes there were more than one!) let her fall through the cracks, but at this time, because of possible legal issues I should probably keep that information back unitl we decide as a family if we're going to persue this legally. I will say, one thing that happened to her right after the surgery is she had to have a swallow test (I did also, standard procedure for our doctor) and the radiologist who did the test forced her to drink way more than she should have, and she got very sick immediatly. I think this is where her problems started, and spiraled out of control from there. So, if they ask you to do a swallow test, and you feel too full, or it hurts, stand up for yourself and do not let them pressure you into taking in more than you can handle. As a patient you have to be you own advocate.

First, I'd like to say I'm so sorry for your loss. She was beautiful. Also, this is true that you MUST stand up for yourself as a patient. Within hours after my surgery I did not feel right at all being in the medical field I knew something was wrong. The nurses tried to force me to walk after surgery, but I did not feel right. I refused. The next morning they tried to force me again. I refused. The afternoon 3 nurse and the coordinator came to my room to force me to walk so they could release me. I told them something was wrong and they insisted I walk to the bathroom. After sitting me on the side of the bed as soon as my feet touch the floor I passed out cold. My husband thought I was gone. The nurses hit the call button and when I came to I was surrounded by nurses, Dr's and staff with a crash cart by my bed. After test the Dr realized I had lost almost all of my blood during surgery due to a nicked spleen. I had to received a complete blood transfusion and remained in the hospital for a week. So stick to your guns, only YOU, know YOUR BODY!

Edited December 6, 201312 yr by need2bthin!

I am so sad for you! This truly touched me and thank you for sharing such a difficult thing to put into words