Hi Everyone,

I wanted to jump on here and share with you all the last six months for our family. My name is Lyndsey. I am a 28 year old mother of two, and married to my prince charming. For me, weight has been a struggle my entire life. I remember vividly being told at just 5 years old by a doctor that I was "obese" and from that point forward my journey really began. I had a pretty normal life, but fought weigth my whole life. I met my wonderful husband at work after loosing 60 pounds all on my own. Needless to say, marriage and getting comfortable- well, and having two children gave me all of that, plus more back. Before the surgery I was 255 with a BMI of 41.9. I had my surgery (VSG) May 8th, 2013 and just over 6 months later I am weighing in at 159.5. Since surgery I have had it pretty easy. I healed well, but did get pancreatitis right after the surgery and had to be hospitalized again for a few days. They were never sure if it was related to the surgery or not. Since the surgery I have tried really hard to make healthy choices with food, but to be completely honest I am a mom, and occasionally we do still eat McDonalds! (gasp!) I do not count calories, carbs, or anything for that matter. My doctor never told me I needed to. I DO drink diet coke... (terrible, I know!) I live a normal life now. I go out with my family, friends, and I am not constantly on some fad diet that wont work. I eat what my family eats, but I do try to focus on eating the Protein first, and follow that with the veggies, then the yummy sides if there is room (which there almost never is!). My goal is to be somewhere in the 130's. I really dont care if its 139.9 but I want to be in the 130's. I hope to reach that goal by the one year anniversary of my surgery.

I would also like to tell you about my big sister, my only sibling. Sherrie was a 34 year old mother of three, and also married to her high school sweetheart. They have been married almost 17 years. Sherrie had her surgery April 24th (2 weeks before me) and there were complications following the surgery. We didn't see it as much at first, or I probably wouldn't have gone through with it myself. But as I healed and started getting back to normal, my sister got sicker and sicker. Her stomach had a stricture at the top. The surgon put in a stent to try to expand it. They stent bacame embedded into her stomach wall and they had to dig it out. After that, the middle of her stomach healed closed so tightly that she couldn't eat or drink anything and keep it down. She had eaten almost nothing for 6 months. She was in and out of the hospital, and the surgon made it very difficult for her to get anyone to help her. Finally when they found the problem we were able to schedule her with a new surgon to hopefully get the problem fixed. She was hospitalized twice in October for dehydration and malnutrition. The second time they put in a PIC line, and bagan IV nutrition (TPN). She was finally feeling better. They sent her home with the PIC line and instructions on how to give herself the IV nutrition and we were told to continue this until her appointment with the new surgon. She came home from the hospital Monday afternoon. Tuesday I talked to her, and she sounded better than she had in months. She was optimistic that we could get her better and even shared with me that before they started the IV nutrition she was scared she was going to die, but now she felt like she has a chance. Wednesday morning (October 30th, 2013) we got the call that broke our family. My beautiful big sister had died at home, alone in her bed. She had asked her husband to not sleep in their bed as she was scared he would pull out her PIC line, so he was in another room. He came into their room that morning to check on her and get ready for work and found her. It was just too late. She had been gone for several hours. We were in shock. We had just got a glimpse of hope with the IV nutrition, and in the blink of an eye, she was gone. I went to the funeral home to dress my big sister, do her hair, do her makeup, and spend some time with her before we had to say goodbye. We burried her the following Monday. A huge piece of my heart is missing now. I want to share her story too because there are so many who have all these wonderful stories, but she doesn't have a voice anymore to share hers. People need to know that you CAN die from this surgery. When I had the surgery I honestly felt like the only people that die from this were the "huge" ones... and thats just not true. My sister was my size. she wasn't some crazy 500 or 800 pound person. She was in a size 18 pants JUST like I was. She died. It can happen. It does happen. I did happen to us. I am not trying to scare anyone, but I want to be her voice too. Do you research, make sure this is the right choice for you and your family. We are left now with three children that now have no mother, and my amazing brother in law (who loved my sister more than I've ever seen anyone love someone) is widowed. His heart is broken, and so is ours. A vital part of our family is missing. Below is a picture of my big sister before the surgery. She was beautiful.

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Tami,

Wow, thank you so much. This means a lot to me that my sister and I could inspire someone to be closer to their loved ones because to her and I family was the most important thing.

I am so blessed that while her story was very short, my sister had a beautiful life. A husband that loved her so much, beautiful kids, and she was truly my best friend. I will miss her forever, gosh how I'll miss her. I thought I would share with you all the uligy I shared at her funeral, maybe that would let you all see a little more our bond, and the beautiful person she was.

Over the past few days there has been one thing that has stood out to me, the leaves on the tree.

Its so amazing to me that the leaves are at their most beautiful just before they fall, watching the leaves fall reminds me that while we all wish we could go back in time, time moves forward and we can’t change the past. The leaves turn bright vibrant colors, they fall, we muddle through winter and then there is spring.

Today I want to say for Sherrie that we all need to look forward to spring. The most beautiful leaf on the tree has fallen and while we all wish we could have paused time to hold her forever, time is going to move on. We’re all in a state of shock and disbelief and like winter, we must muddle through. But- in all of this, I can promise there will be spring.

Sherrie is my big sister, My only sister. Sherrie was my very first friend, my very best friend. She held my tiny hand when I came home from the hospital as a newborn, dipped my binky in honey and slept under my crib for nights on end. As we grew up sherrie has always been there to hold my hand. Sherrie was the tough one, the one who I could count on to be there no matter what the circumstances. She watched me grow up, taught me how to stand up for myself, and held my hand through every milestone in life. She was by my side when Savannah was born, and I will cherish the memory of her smile for eternity. I will miss my sissy with my whole heart, and today I send part of my heart to heaven with her.

To Jason: I want to say thank you. You loved my sister for her, all of her. I know today that while her story was cut too short, she really did marry her prince charming and get to experience a fairytale love. I cannot thank you enough for loving her the way you do. None of us can take the pain from you that your feeling, but please know that we all love you so much and are all so grateful for all you did, and how you love my big sister.

To mom and dad: You have lost a precious gem. There are no words anyone can say to make your pain go away, but I also want to thank you. Thank you for your loving, supporting, and encouraging her. Thank you for my sister. Sherrie loved you both so much. She made you proud. She was a wonderful mother, no doubt due to everything she learned from you two growing up.

To my sisters beautiful childern: The most important thing I want the three of you to remember is just how much your mommy loves you.

Bubby: You are your mommy’s miracle. She was young when you were born, but let me tell you bubby, the love in her eyes when she looked at you is indescribable. You gave your mommy wings, and for you she strived to be the best she could be. She is so proud of you, and will be watching and guiding you from heaven forever.

Little Joe: You are your mommy’s spunk. You came into the world and the way you made your mommy smile, there just isn’t anyone who could make her smile like you. You made your mommy so proud, She loved to watch you explore, and learn and work that inquisitive little mind of yours. Mommy loves you so much and will always be with you.

BooBoo- Oh boo, You are your mommy’s girl. Everything about you reminds me of her. Your smile, your big heart, your honestly, and your love… you get that all from your mom. Your mommy was over the moon excited when we found out you were on your way. She has big dreams for you baby girl, and I want you to always remember just how special you are. Mommy loves you. She is your guardian Angel and from this point forward you will never be alone.

To all of our friends and family that have come here today, I thank you. Thank you for helping us send Sherrie to heaven with the love of her family and friends. Remember my sister, when you see the leaves fall each year.

I love you sissy.

LIndsey, your words are beautiful. My sister and I made plans to do the half marathon in October. I have literally made a reminder on my phone to call my sister weekly. I'm so sad that you lost your sister, that your beautiful neices and nephews lost their mother, and your brother-in-law lost his wife, your parents who lost their daughter. Losses like these are just not what any of us are prepared for... ever.

Our neighbor's 21 year old son passed away this past weekend, had a car accident thought he was fine, died several days later from internal bleeding (it is suspected). I lost 2 cousins in their late teens unexpectedly. Life is not meant to be taken for granted and neither are the people we love. You clearly always loved your sister and you are right, she lived a good life, albeit shorter than anyone wanted.

I hope and pray for your family to find peace in all of this.

Hugs ~ Tami

I wish I knew what it was like to have a sister relationship like that, though I have that kind of bond with my brother. I love my sister, we are just so very different in how we manage our lives and choose to live. Through your story and my desire to live a loving life, I am really committed to going the extra mile in being a better sister to mine. Thank you for sharing.

I am sorry for you and your families loss.May god bless you all.

LyndseyD,

I just now noticed your update last month. It sounds like the cause of death was just what you needed to help you press forward a bit. Your words show me the growth you've had since your original post. I'm so thankful for your story, for both sides of this surgery to be told even though most of us only want to hear about the sunshine and butterflies. I pray that you can keep pressing on to live your life to the fullest, help those kids to remember mom in a positive way and not stay stuck in grief. Enjoy your new healthy self, knowing that your sister would be so excited to see you this way. God bless.