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My Suggestion-Stop The Obsessing. Rules Are Meant To Be Broken

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Ok. Rules are SOMETIMES meant to be broken. So, Here's the deal. I am 2 weeks post op today. I am one of those who had zero issues and had a smooth ride from recovery room to date!! This post is not intended to mean I am sure I will have a long term good go at this! It also doesn't address the future, but really ONLY the many threads that I have read regarding the preo op and post op liquid diets and the Pre and post few weeks Do's and Dont's!

I have read almost every post on here before and after surgery, lol. Here is the point that I will explain. Your/Our obsession over following diet rules is what got us here in the first place.. isn't it?? I mean, it's great to have black and white rules.. Do's and Don's. can and cant's.. That's why we were ALL great on Atkins (remember the carb counting obsession), and South Beach (remember how carefully we chose the meals), weight watchers, low cal, grapefruit, slimfast , yada yada yada......RIGHT?

Sure, it worked. THEN WE WENT OFF THE WAGON and got sick of the rules and restrictions and put weight back on (and then some).... That's because it was a DIET.. Why do so many of you do that on here? I'm not judging, but trying to help! Yes, it's easier for me, since I have had no issues. I come from a strong medical family (i had bio as a minor,4 docs and 2 nurses in immed family) and I always love to understand WHY the rules are in place. If something doesn't make sense, I want to know why and not just follow a rule because it was put out there.

My surgeon told me that "rules" are on here for the lower end of reaction spectrum. meaning, many need not follow them, but since 30%, for ex, will have issues with some things, they want to make a general rule......

As EVERYONE says on here, as well as EVERY doc, ALL OF US ARE DIFFERENT! We heal differently, We tolerate pain differently, foods differently, weight loss differently, etc..... EVERY SINGLE ONE So, the rules need not be applied to the T!

Now, as a caveat and from feedback so far on this post, this is not an excuse to eat junk NOR stay on bad habits. I don't mean to enable anyone. here is what BUTTERTHEBEAN wrote:

"The only reason I say "enabling" is because I think there are some people waiting in the wings to hear someone tell them it's okay to eat whatever they want. They haven't tackled their food addictions and they are hoping for "permission" to go back to their old ways. I know there are some that can learn to eat "all things in moderation." I have no problem with that. For me, I chose to embrace my inner health nut. It's not fear or weakness or lack of self control...it's the desire to live a long, healthy and active life. I'm not depriving myself, or sacrifing. The things I'm doing and the life I'm leading now feel way better than eating pizza and cupcakes ever did (even in moderation). By that I mean that food did not give me pleasure (never did, I just thought it did), so I no longer look to food to satisfy my needs, except nutritionally."

Ok... Back to the post. Specifically, here is what I have had debunked by my brother (Anesthesiologist for bariatric), My mom (nurse and nutritionist), my bro's good friend and bariatric surgeon, and my surgeon..........

* Yes, the liquid PRE OP diet is not to be messed with. It sucked, but we need the liver to be soft and looking like liver in a supermarket. That will happen in most cases with one week.. Many docs do one week only and many do 2 weeks..... So, if you have a 2 week doc, don't worry if you cheat a little and wants some low calorie food.. It's OK!! have the Soup... etc. I didn't cheat as mine was only a week and I did not want to have a lifetime of liver issues if it was frail and broke a bit/injured while being moved for my surgery....

* Most docs on here POST OP put you on liquids for 2 weeks.. Why?? NOTHING medical. Really? Many docs, including mine, put me on Clear Liquids only day 1 in the hospital and then put me instantly on pureed foods (tuna salad, chicken salad, egg salad, greek yogurts, ricotta cheese, etc).. Yes. DAY 2! He does this for EVERY patient.. He has had NO MORE COMPLICATIONS than anyone else ever.... It is NOT true that eating this will cause a leak.. It can't get caught in you stitches, lol, as they are on the outside and you can't see them even in your stomach.. The ONLY risk is a)that you eat way too much and thus can cause leaks, so don't do that. and that is WAY too much. Meaning you go out of your way to test the limits. As any surgeon will tell you, stretching the stomach to break the staples is no easy task.... easy enough to follow that rule .. and B) the risk is that you get nauseated.. Ok.. we are all different. Some take 90 minutes the first time they eat to get down 4 oz of chicken salad.. I didn't . I got it down in 15 min and could have done it in 5..... But the point is, listen to your body. start slowly and if you tolerate it, then screw the rules.....

What does this mean? It means so what if you doc put you on 2 week post liquid. That is soo hard.. so, do it mostly, but don't obsess about cheating. have a friggin plate of tuna salad.. It will taste yummy.. Add some great yogurt. If you can handle it, you are good to go! I did.. They also want you on this liquid to max your weight loss for motivation up front? do you really need that?? I don't care if it takes me 1 more week than you to hit the same goal? Frankly, I decided to keep my calories around 800ish anyway for my first 2 weeks. It was a little hard, but nothing like your liquid nightmare and i lost as much weight... I'm now on 1200 cal full diet plan (less hard carbs and hard veggies) as of last night.

I've heard people say they are craving one Dorito chip.. Then the advice replies were "lick the cheese off" or "take a bit and spit it out...." LOL. Really? This is your diet/lifestyle for the rest of your life. HAVE A CHIP.. See if you get a lot of gas.. Chew it well.. If not problem, then enjoy the one chip. You got here because you at a half bag . One or three chips won't kill you! You need to find a way to eat what you will do.. The docs want you to build your healthy habits now.

*The first year is where you get your max weight loss- Ok. For sure,, so, as noted, build your healthy habits now.. but make it last. So, if I want a Dorito chip. I have one or two.. On my pureed phase, my kids had pretzels at a game. I took 2 small ones....I had a qtr of his hotdog meat.. The point is, if we can seriously lower the number of calories we eat (which, for me, they figured i was eating between 3500-4000 per day and needed to be at 2400 or so.. Now, with 1200, which believe me, with the sleeve is a mini feast, I will be eating half the amount and will lose a lot of weight. So, yes, build good eating habits and i'm working on good food choices that I can live with! Can I eat white bread. Damn right?should I// nO?? it's a waste of calories and spikes your sugar and appetite. But, I sure will if i want a hamburger or great sandwich. A month ago i would have had 2 cheeseburgers and 2 hotdogs at a bbq. .So, guess what, i'll lose weight. Can't make it a daily thing.. But, again, stop obsessing..

*Eating and drinking slowly eating- well, you don't HAVE to eat slowly, but as we have been told our whole lives, eat slowly so that when you are really full, you know it! Also, you need to see what your bod can tolerate and if you eat too quickly, you may not have realized you were about to puke. If you can tolerate it, you can eat and drink quicker than others, but not a good idea for reasons mentioned. so work on it, but don't obsess.. At the hospital, they told me I had to drink in in little tiny medical cups a few cc evry 20 min. I laughed, as Water went down easily in recovery even. ALL NURSES TOLD ME NO. When I saw my doc, i asked why I can't just drink as I can tolerate it at home and get my 64 oz is. HE said dont' chug, but do whatever you can do without discomfort. So, 8 oz bottle of water went down in 5 minutes... etc....

*Chewing your food- ALL true... We have that banana sized stomach.. So, the doughy breads, and stringy veggies and large pieces of non chewed enough food INDEED often get stuck! Not stuck like a lap band, but rather, they move toward the pyloric valve and are too big to pass through it, since there isn't as much acid, etc in your stomach and, well, the route to the valve is now MUCH shorter.. So, it sits in front of it and as soon as the next item goes there, it waits in line. your body puts out gas and then knows there is a problem, so will signal you to vomit it up. not fun... So, chew! All true! Also makes us take longer to eat and thus enjoy the tastes more than ever and have the full signal sent to our brain while we are still eating or pretty close to that!

*Caffein is bad... Ok. Google whether it's an appetite suppressant or stimulant.. It's hysterical.. You'll get equal replies from GREAT sources that say the opposite. I WANT my one cup a day. I'm not an addict. I asked. I am now sipping on my first REAL one. It is indeed a diuretic for some. So, drink a half cup more water than a day! If you feel it makes you hungry after you have it and you don't want to hold back, then stop the coffee.. It doesn't for me. It does for some... But what will you be doing in a year from now??/ There is NO medical reason why you can't have caffein after a few weeks

*ALCOHOL is a no no for 2 months. NONSENSE.. Again, just there so we don't put empty calories. BUT what if I WANT one drink or two on a date tonight?? I am told, go for it, but just know you will have ingested 400 wasted calories. Ok. I get it, but I WILL drink in my life, although never drank a ton and that was not the cause of most of my weight.. Watch the calories and don't do it twice most weeks.. Or if you will, then cut back a bit on your Snacks, etc. Anyway, looking forward to a martini with my date tomorrow at dinner.. Oh, most people on here for a while, will tell you since there is less food to bind with alcohol, it goes into your intestines/blood stream much quicker and you get a nice buzz faster with less! way cool!

* Most other rules and comments on here are just not universal and again, if you feel the NEED to cheat, then well, cheat! How can it be cheating if this will be your new life! WOrk hard at right food choices and don't make this soooo hard. The harder you make it, the more YOU WILL revolt and end up going off the wagon like the good old days... Since I have had no pain, etc and pretty much eat what I wanted (and cheated on my puree period even), I feel this is just toooo easy. I hear so many of you struggling (not because you have pain, but because you want to break a rul) and so many of you "supporting them" to stay strong, that I just wanted to add this post! Also, again, much of the medical advice that our well meaning friends on here provide, just isn't true. Sorry, but it isnt.

I hope this helps some of you enjoy your Pre and Post diets much more than you may be now!

Best, my friends!

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super :) :) your are super cool in my book. you have just said everything i have tried to say but i have a hard time putting things into words. thank you so much for that. OMG thank you for making me realize i am normal. when i planned on having the surgery i no longer wanted to diet, diet, diet no more low carb no more starving myself.. I have always eaten healthy just to much of it. the surgery helps me control my portions and like your yes i enjoy food just like before surgery just cant enjoy like i use to. again your are super for posting this

I am glad! It took me longer to get to goal than many, but I got there and have maintain now for a year! I knew that I couldn't do a restrictive diet that I would just end up losing it!

Super- how long did it take you to reach goal? I'm sure it will take me over a year to reach goal

It took me 18 months to reach goal with one stall that lasted 3 months! I actually thought I was done losing and I was ok with that. I have always really struggled with my weight, since Kindergarten, so I wasn't surprised it took me longer. In the back of my head, I really never expected to get to goal, so when I did there was a lot of happy dancing! Because it took me longer and I really forced me to make the changes that I needed to make to get there.

super thanks again, ive been researching and because i am pear shaped i have a lot of substantial fat if i spelled it right. it takes way longer to burn off than lets say a rounder person meaning the apple shape who carry most of thier weight in the upper regieon, i noteced my top half is really small but the bottom has not caught up. i am at peace now knowing about your story its just goingto take me longer than 6 months to reach goal.

Neilsleeve, nail on the head my friend, nail on the head! I feel the exact same way and am approacing the "diet" thing the exact same way. If I want it, I eat it...just WAY LESS! I am 2 months out, eat just about anything I want when I want it. If I am craving something, I will take a bite or two, it satisfies me, then stop eating it because I am not hungry for it anymore. Did I take in 20-30 extra calories, probably....is it going to hurt me, absolutely not, in fact, I will burn off 20 times that when I ride my bike or go play with my daughter, or go do something physical that I couldn't do previously. It is all about using your head, staying diciplined, and living your life, not deprivation. I am not going to spend my life being terrified of food!

"Nail on the head, nail on the head!" I like that part, lol...

I'm just a little past 6wks out, and I too believe that what is best FOR ME is to learn & pay attention to my own body to see what it wants, likes, and also needs. I eat what feels good/goes down well but try to make the best nutritional choices. I thought one day I would try the Doritos Locos Supreme Taco & it went down great...the whole thing! I enjoyed every bite. Yummy! For the record, I think the original is better than the Cool Ranch, LOL. Anyway, I love eating Wendy's chili, and I like it sweet, so I put splenda in it. Before I had surgery, I prayed (seriously, I did) "God please let me be one of the people that can tolerate almost anything", and he answered my prayers. Yes, I've not tried pasta, bread, or rice yet, so the jury is still out on that. I do well with veggies (only tried canned & also fresh lettuce & spinach), fresh fruit, chicken, beef, pork (sausage), beans, low fat tortillas, crunchy tacos, eggs, well...you get the point. Right now I'm craving a low fat frozen yogurt smoothie. I just need to count my coins, lol. Best wishes to all of you. Enjoy this journey & live....LIVE...LOVE...LAUGH...ENJOY. LIfe is truly a gift from God above. He wants us to enjoy it.

mysleeve i can eat everything also. but potatos and rice fill me up very very fast so i stay away from those it hurts makes it feel like my first day out lol

Thank You Super for replying :) This gives me and I'm sure other slow losers hope that we can still reach goal.

There is actually a thread, I think under the Veterns forum called slow losers at or near goal, something like that, if you are needing inspiration!

I am14 months out and have lost 104% of my excess weight after being told that it was only possible to lose 55-75% with a sleeve. How did I do it? Quite simply. By FOLLOWING THE RULES!! I think that says it all!! = D

Melodymouse ... That I so impressive !! What were the rules you followed to get you where you are ?

I think it's funny people are posting about eating complete shitty junk food and saying they don't have to follow the rules. Good job! Wish I could eat food completely devoid of any usable nutrition and be ok with it...wait I can but choose not to because medical professionals told me that's what makes me fat in the first place and I had a very serious, very expensive surgery to make me not as fat anymore. Jesus Christ.

I am14 months out and have lost 104% of my excess weight after being told that it was only possible to lose 55-75% with a sleeve. How did I do it? Quite simply. By FOLLOWING THE RULES!! I think that says it all!! = D

This, exactly. If we all followed the rules in the first place we wouldn't be here, but we chose to NOT FOLLOW the rules and ended up where we had to have a surgery to save our lives.

I think it's funny people are posting about eating complete shitty junk food and saying they don't have to follow the rules. Good job! Wish I could eat food completely devoid of any usable nutrition and be ok with it...wait I can but choose not to because medical professionals told me that's what makes me fat in the first place and I had a very serious, very expensive surgery to make me not as fat anymore. Jesus Christ.

I worry because people misconstrue what I am trying to say. They see that I didn't track and I didn't watch carbs (mainly because I believe in healthy carbs like fruit and quinoa), and they fail to read the part about that I made massive changes to how and what I ate, cut out the junk, and still follow certain rules to this day. I do not promote eating whatever you want, and I always say that you need to work with the sleeve to be successful. It doesn't mean you can't ever have anything that would be considered "junk", but it does mean you can only have it once in a while (meaning once a month, not a few times a week).

Like I said in my post, you CAN NOT go into this surgery thinking you will make no changes and the sleeve will help me because I can eat less. Nope, sorry, you will fail and you will either never reach goal or start regaining.

There's some really angry, anal-retentive folks on this forum.

Just an observation.

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